Thursday, April 15, 2010

No Advance Notice

So, I go to Caleb's award ceremony. All the JROTC cadets were there, a lot of them. Caleb got a couple of awards - I think he did not get what he was hoping to in terms of authority command for next year. Can't help him there, those people running the show don't ask for parents opinion and - they shouldn't anyway. He is in a position of some authority now, I do imagine he will be promoted, just not to the level he wanted. He's a good kid, big heart, don't know about his future, that's up to him, God's will and how motivated he is to follow through.

So, it was pretty cool ceremony. I get home, there is a pickup truck parking in the street in front of my house, partially blocking my parking space. The tailgate is open, there are Tupperware style storage tubs in the bed. It came to me right then that the dude that is behind in rent is moving out. No fore-notice, nothing. I started to get upset. This guy gets a job and then moves out, owing me money and not even giving me at least a few days notice? I also started getting mad at the dude in the pickup who wasn't moving his vehicle to let me back in.

One of my failings in life is a sometimes-short temper. I can get REALLY mad, REALLY fast when I am being shafted or dissed. Not exactly the traits of a "real" Christian, well, we all have our failings, short-comings and whatever else. I sometimes get visions of beating people to a bloody pulp. Just beat them until they are not conscious and won't be for a while. Break some ribs, knock some teeth out, maybe break an arm. Bad stuff, yes.

But, I never act out on those feelings and they don't last long as I battle against them until it subsides. I will NOT act out on that junk, but I have had to deal with it my entire life. I gave into it when I was a teen, most people never believe the things I did to people, cars, houses, whatever I felt like during that time frame. I don't much care to talk about it, either. I have written it all out in the past, but that was on JS and all of that is permanently gone. I may write it out again - on another, mostly unused, journal as I take no pride in my past and it haunts me to this day.

I have had people talking trash to me to the point that I had to relinquish my "normal" mind, ie: blank stare, and deal with what's going on in my head that seems to be going all over my body. The desire to just punch the person's head a few times, knock him down and be done with it.

Look, I am always wanting to be honest on my journals. But I want to state here that I have NEVER had such desires against any woman/lady/female beast. I wasn't brought up that way. I will just walk away from it. But dudes talking s*** to me? No. That's all it is: no. No thanks and I am not going to stand there and listen to it. I don't go looking for trouble in the physical, hurting type ever. I do pick my battles against corporations, but always on a professional level.

I have totally digressed here. I come into the house - 3 teenagers in the living room, not an unusual thing to see here, I ask them what's going on. "That guy in that room (telling me the room it is ) is moving stuff out of there". I knew it was that guy. He got a job - he claims anyway - but it didn't pan out. Well, whatever. "Why didn't you at least give me notice?". I listened to a well thought out answer - undoubtedly a rehearsed thing he had been going over in his mind. I had thoughts of telling him how I feel about it, I bit my lip. Just get your stuff and get out, I thought, I didn't say much of anything. He is to be out of here by tomorrow.

I am going to let it go, just get him out of here and find someone that has enough money - and a job - to take his place. I have already posted another ad on Craigslist. I have let several of these things go in the past - it isn't worth going after them for the most part, just get them out of here and get someone else.

It's very late for me. I couldn't just go to sleep - that ceremony went on for hours and took me all the way til' my bedtime by the time I got home. No big deal - maybe it will help me sleep through the night. 6 hours of sleep is the same no matter how you get it.

Umm, ending this one, time for bed.

G'nite.

ben

More

Unbelievable that this work week is almost over already. This one flew by - I was very busy today and yesterday. Unfortunately, there is nothing in the truck routing system for tomorrow, but I am always optimistic that something might be dumped in there - the inside sales guys work much later than I do (a dream that I could get my hours back). I still have 3 coolers to work on at our branch if nothing comes up, though, which would take a good portion of the day to put the new pads in and clean out the units.

Caleb - my son - called me earlier asking if I am coming to the awards ceremony. What awards ceremony? I think it's for JROTC - he isn't sure whether he's getting one, but he wants me to come. I am not a big fan of anything that has to occur in the evening on a weeknight - not at all, but I'll go for his sake if nothing else.

I already took a rather long, afternoon siesta. I usually try to make up for the night before's lack of sleep - at this point anyway, I didn't used to - after I get home from work. Still 2 and half hours until I have to be at his school, so I am going to go outside in a few minutes here and take yet another look at this pond situation. I have not made up my mind where I want it for sure, but the place I am looking at would entail moving one of my sissoos. It is one that was planted just before winter last year - it is still small and should be easy enough to dig up and transplant if that's where the final stamp of approval dictates it to be.

I'm "eagerly" waiting for some dough to come my way. The newest tenant should be paying me tomorrow - it's the dude that just got another job a few plus weeks ago that's up in the air. I NEED the money from him and soon. $200 now and the rest in a few more weeks would work for me.....I have not seem him in several days (which is normal for him) so I don't know. No, he really couldn't move out of here without my knowing about it - ie: taking off and leave me hanging (though if this goes on much longer, I will force the issue with him anyway) - he has FAR too much stuff in there. Took his friends the better part of a day on several trips to get it all over here.

Nothing much else. I totally forgot to go to the doc's office and get that scrip today - I ain't going now. Not with having to go to Caleb's ceremony this evening, plus doing laundry right now plus a visit to the great outdoors - the east side of my house to be precise. I read about a "biologial filter" that everyone says you pretty much have to have if you want clear ponds, those things are EXPENSIVE. But, in my "cheap" style of trying to get great results for as little money as possible, I found several sites that show you how to make your own. One of them is using a plastic tub (already have several of those), a large amount of cheap sponges (dollar store stuff) and a small pump. So, for 30 or 40 bucks, I can do what they want MUCH more for at Home Depot or whatnot.

Having settled on doing that - though not even thinking about actually doing it yet - no need to until the ponds are in and I am ready to put water into them - I am now looking at trying to find a small waterfall. Apparently a necessary item to keep the water aerated and also help cool the water in the summer months.

I have also been reading from various sites of people in the Phoenix area who have these ponds with fish in them year round - apparently they can take the heat as long as you take the necessary steps to keep them as cool as possible. BTW, the fish are pretty cheap, so are the plants. Plenty of people are raising fish in their ponds and selling them at great prices and also pond plants.

I still need to see a lot more pics of different set-ups before I make any decisions on how my finished product will look. In fact, I am going to email some people on Craigslist and ask them for advice as well as all the searching for sites on the web for info. I would like to ask people around here how they deal, specifically, with heat issues, I don't think fish really like hot or even warm water, but I really don't know.

Anyway, the great outdoors is calling my name, I must respond!
ben

Thursday

Not to be a proliferator of doom and gloom, but the big headline this morning was: Foreclosure Rates Surge, Biggest Jump in 5 Years and that the banks are on track of taking back 1,000,000 homes this year alone. That's unbelievable. 1 in every 138 homes received a foreclosure notice.

Look, I wish the economy to get better and soon, but I don't see how that's possible with all of this stuff still going on.

Whatever the case, there ARE ways people can save their homes, they just don't want to do it. All well and fine, but still, if you lose your home and don't exhaust your options, I don't want to hear about it. Not to be cold, but this foreclosure business is what started the tanking of the U.S. economy to begin with. It had a cascading effect that started affecting industries that catered to the building of new homes and it spread out from there.

Just because everyone else is doing it does not make it right. If you CAN'T make your payment and have tried everything, then great. I know I'm struggling - greatly - but I'm still there. As I have said before, I will move out of my master bedroom and into a TENT out back if I have to, renting out that room with it's own bathroom and walk-in closet for $500 minimum per month and - not be happy about it, but still have my place. Alright, no tent. A wood structure, about 15X15 with it's own facilities.

You don't think I would do that? Lol. You don't know me. Simply because I don't want to go under again, ever again, in my lifetime, I am willing to go to great lengths to try and keep what I have. Going under means going bankrupt, avoiding that at ALL costs is worth doing whatever I can to make it through. Which reminds me, I keep forgetting to send out that letter requesting a reduction in the loan to reflect the value of the home to my lender. I have a great excuse, though: yesterday was that physical and my mind was not going anywhere else until I got that nonsense OVER with, thank you very much. Physicals are a good thing to do, especially when you break the 40 mark, but it ain't no fun.

I'm sure somebody wants to slam me for my statements about walking from a house. Don't care, really. People got into loans that they knew they would not be able to afford with the interest rate was going to adjust in 5 years or whatever on those ARM's. People expected the housing market to continually go up. Buy a house, wait for it to increase in value, sell it, start over. People were doing that, great - but - as we all now see - it can't go on forever. I have no expectation that I will be able to sell my home for a long, long time. That's because the mortgage is higher than the market value. Which is why I am continuing on with projects. Might as well do what I can to make it a very sellable place whenever that magical day appears when I can get out of it.

Oh yes, I could walk like everyone else is doing - and if I were FORCED to, ie: lose my job and simply have no means to make the payments - then I would. But, I have an ethical problem with walking, dumping it onto the bank and making them pay for it when I still have options open to stay in it.

Anyway, the work day is here and I must be offa here.

G'day.
ben

Well first off, I've been sitting at a place in Hammond, Louisiana, for 7 hours and will be here at least another 10 before I can get ou...