Friday, August 13, 2010


You know, I believe in God. I believe in the atoning blood sacrifice that Jesus Christ made at the Cross of Calvary. I believe in the in-dwelling of the Holy Spirit. I also happen to believe that the prophetic - such as was in Old Testament times - is still alive and kicking and being brought forth, yes, today.

I believe that because I operated to some small extent in the spirit of prophecy for some time before I got divorced. I"m not saying I'm anyone grand or special, just saying what I believe.

So, when I start getting these feelings, inner speakings, whatever you want to call it, about something coming down the pike, I tend to pay attention to such things. I'm not even currently going to church - not involved in fellowship with other believers (my bad, long story, not going into that here, still trying to force myself to get into a church and soon) - and I am having these thoughts and things coming before me.

I heard some stuff on the radio yesterday that totally confirmed what I have been thinking and I wasn't listening to a Christian radio station. My ex-wife then sends me all kinds of stuff about terrorist cells being all around us. You see in the news about terrorists being "home grown" - right here in the good ole' U.S.

I do believe there is a lot more to this than the government is telling us. I rather believe, also, that they know full well what is going. I'm not saying the government is involved in any of this, to the contrary. When terrorist cells want to stay invisible, they know how to do it.

And if they decide to do something, how are they going to be stopped? There were also recent reports of Hezbollah coming through or stationed near the Mexico/New Mexico or Texas border. Other reports that terrorists are coming through the basically open border that it is down south (of me, anyway).

The picture starts to come together of why I am feeling what I am feeling. I'm less than 200 miles from the Nogales border entry.

If these cells exist, what are they planning on doing? Usually, modus operandi dictates destruction on mass level versus "just" killing af few people on the streets or something. Such as a giant stadium, or a large event where mass amounts of people are gathered together.

My senses are not failing me. It is a strange thing to suddenly come to all of these conclusions, but the pieces have been coming together for some time now in my mind, I just didn't recognize it.

 Fear? The only fear I can have is of God Himself. HE is the one to fear, not man. If I am not ready to go to Him, that is fearful. I cannot stop man, mankind and it's inherent nature to destroy itself by destroying it's own kind. Wars have gone on from the beginning of time. Mankind is, generally, self-destructive.

No, the only preparation I can do is to make sure my heart is right - and I do believe there are areas lacking right now - that terrifies me more than any threat of death at the hands of other men through bombs or shootings or whatever. We are all going to go out of this world one way or the other. Where we end up is of eternal, utmost, grave concern.

Now, I do firmly believe in the right to bear arms and the right to defend your home. This goes without saying. But - against a group of men that are trained in tactical maneuvers and the workings of war? I would be mowed down in a minute. My head would be blown clean off and that would be the end of that. Oh, I might get one of them with a lucky shot, who knows - but reality is I am nothing compared to someone with military training and I am not about to go out somewhere and start learning. I don't really care that much. I believe my life is in God's hands and however I go out of this world, it won't be because some man decided to shoot me, rather, that the Lord allowed such to happen - or didn't. I can tell you (true) stories of when I was on the mission field and the Lord protected me from imminent hard. I could, but won't - not now anyway. First, you would have to believe that God WILL actually intervene in a situation if He does, indeed, choose to do so. Second, you would have to take my word for it. Third - work day approaches and I don't have time to write all of that out.

WHY men/mankind is so hell bent to destroy each other? Not a clue. I mean, I have a clue, it just doesn't make any sense, at all. These people would go out of their way to come into our society, set up camp and devise ways to kill the masses? It's just senseless.

I know, strange way to start a Friday morning entry, but that's what hit me this morning as I started thinking about all of this. No, I am not trying to instill fear into anyone, really, I am speaking to myself. This IS, after all, my internet diary.

Anyway, Sunday morning will come and I will face the same thing I face every Sunday morning: can I force myself to get into church? What will happen if I go? I do know WHY I have such a problem, I have written about it in my blogs for a long time now, it's nothing new or hidden. I feel the need to get back into fellowship, yet I have this inner wall blocking me.

Anyway, very little to do here, at work, today. So far, anyway, that can always change of course. I do believe I am going to seriously start picking back up on my food storage, I stop and start and stop - well, I think it's time to do some other things beyond what I have been doing.

This weekend? No idea. Work on the pond. Whatever is coming down the pike - if indeed anything really is - I am still going to have my little place of solace for however long it lasts. When it's gone, it's gone. All things in this world are temporal anyway.

With that I bid you a great day : )


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