Monday, September 27, 2010

Monday

Monday:


How long will it be before Iran's president accuses the U.S. of creating this malware that has infected computers - a majority of which are in Iran? Just like his outrageous statements about the U.S. government creating 9/11 on purpose (and, thankfully, the U.S. delegation walking out), it's only a matter of time before he starts flapping his lips with some "evidence" that they have found.

One of my brothers is on Facebook - like he must LIVE there he puts up so much wall comments. Well, he came to my wall and started arguing with things concerning Obama - Obama care and all the other money "saving" ideas that the President had.

As normal for my brother, once he realizes he isn't going to win against me - he is very liberal, I am at least moderately conservative - he then starts talking down to me. He is in the health care industry - a regional manager and union president in an ambulance company - has obvious interest in wanting to continue to see Obama on the course he is on, I am totally the opposite in my views.

Not that that should be any surprise HERE, on my blog, lol. I pretty much replied after several volleys of this that he is "sitting on his high horse again", accusing me of getting my information from "talk show hosts" and blah blah blah. I wondered, out loud, how he could possibly know the source of my information? I rarely listen to any of the talk show hosts excepting a local guy who is not to be taken seriously, he is hilarious and that is the pointo of the show, politics is not his agenda though he throws it in there sometimes for laughs sake.

I took the opportunity, since he was talking down to me again and I have had more than my share of it, to ask him about his refusal to have anything to do with dad. I pointed out the time that our mother told us 3 boys to go away, that she wanted nothing to do with us ever again. A long time later, she came back, crying. They forgave her for THAT, yet the "infractions" that my father has committed aren't anything even CLOSE to that scale.

I braced myself for the reply, and it was as full of "stuff" as I expected it would be. I basically told him where to stick it. It is, to me, unconscionable to write off one's own parent for things that have happened SO long ago and in the context of modern America, petty things at best.

I asked him, my bro that is, HOW he was abused by dad? No answer, instead, he removed me from his Facebook page (his reputation is apparenlty on the line, you can't have these family secrets coming out, now can you?) then started an all out war with me in private messages, calling me evil, telling me I am just like dad,full of s*** etc etc etc. I thought, well, if I AM just like dad, I'll take that as a compliment cause' I sure don't want to be like my BROTHER.

I wrote him off. That's it. I gave up a few years ago on our family ever being normal. We don't spend time together. I see my oldest brother once a year at Christmas and that's it. He doesn't even want to be a part of that, he does it very begrudgingly. I see my middle bro 2, sometimes 3 times a year. The last time I took a step into the unknown and asked him to go out and have a beer or a coffee, he rejected me. "Some other time, bro". Don't get me wrong, my feelings weren't hurt neither did I dive into a world of depression and anguish, I am no part of my brother's lives and they are not part of mine by their design.

They are no longer a part of each other's lives, either. They used to be very close - no clue what happened there. Don't care, either. I guess it's a dangerous place to be when I can sit here and honestly say that I don't care anymore, but, I don't. I have tried and tried and have gotten nowhere with either of them. I was talking to my mom awhile back, she had brought up the same subject and I frankly told her that this attitude with my brothers will probably never change.

We are late 40's to early 50's, if we can't get over this stuff by now, highly unlikely the future holds anything different. I do believe my brother was shocked by my confrontation with him yesterday. I have been holding it in for years, holding out hope that perhaps he would come down off of his throne and visit with the gentiles such as me.

I just decided last night after reading his blasting of me and my thoughts on the subject that ......time is up. I give up. I want no part of it. It's not like I'm going to be missing out on something that was never there to begin with. My son? I told him last night he is welcomed to pursue a relationship with either or both of his uncles if he really wanted to and that I would not hold it against him.

When I spoke my oldest brother's name, he started laughing. My oldest brother has nothing to do with us, literally. Christmas, that's it. I have written off Christmas's in the past as well as Thanksgiving with them and I am going to start doing it again this year. I will miss NOTHING by not being there. I mean, we all try to act civil with each other for mother's sake, and honestly, if mother weren't around, we wouldn't even be getting together. Mother realizes that. The point is that the few hours we spend together is nothing but an act. I cannot, in good conscounce, continue to go to these play acts and stand there and act as if nothing is wrong. THEY can, apparently, I refuse. My dad's health is slowly deteriorating, my brothers apparently are willing to let this go to the day he dies.

Nice. My dad said last year in a very deflated mood that "they probably won't even show up to my funeral". His wife tried to tell him the opposite, but, she doesn't like them either. She can't possibly understand how a person's own kids can write that person off like that. If my dad was a mass-murderer or something, I could see it, but, he has been a minister of God most of his life.

Well, gotta get offa here and clear my head of this, there is large delivery going out this morning and it's to a company we are trying to re-establish a good, working relationship with. I'm guessing from what I have heard that we didn't give them the service in the past that our company takes pride with: giving outstanding customer service. Meaning, switch gears, get my head out of family mode and get it into work mode.

G'day.

ben

And so, here I am on the cusp of a Monday morning and whatever adventure lays ahead of me.  Whatever happens, it appears likely going to be ...