Sunday, June 12, 2011

Church

I went. I sat out in the parking lot for 10 minutes engaged in a mind battle as to whether I should actually go into the place or not.

But, I did. The foyer? 2 people greeted me, but, fantastically, they did not ask me to fill out a guest card. They all want your name and personal information. I don't necessarily want to give out that information right off the bat, what if I don't like and I don't WANT them contacting me?

It's in a large cluster of office buildings - so yes, this church is actually set up in an office setting. Where do I got? Lady pointed down a long hallway. Got there and there were quite a number of people there. I quickly found a seat and - sat. I was feeling very uncomfortable. Not because of the people, just being IN church.

Numerous people came up and introduced themselves. I knew that would happen, but I didn't really want the interaction. I know, I sound like a recluse, but this is something I want to ease back into, not go full throttle right off the bat. Of course, those people don't know that and besides, it's their "duty", so to speak. Nice people.

Worship starts - contemporary. A live band, something I greatly appreciate. I have been in many churches that play the music off of a CD, not appealing to me at all. Talented kids, too, they were into what they were doing and it showed.

That went on for an hour and a half, amazingly. Then the pastor got up. I further appreciated not being singled out as a "newbie". I don't want or need that recognition, which occurs at most churches I have been to, regardless of size, when I have been a first timer there. He went on for about an hour. It was a good discussion he gave, really, though the service waxed on for 2 and a half hours, I was good at an hour and a half. Well, he dismissed everyone but offered prayer and it was obvious social hour had also started. I am not going to say I want nothing to do with it, just that I was not prepared for 2-1/2 hours of a service and I quickly departed.

I was almost to the door when an older gentleman tapped/sorta grabbed me by the shoulder. "I hope you'll come back again next week". He had, apparently, chased me out of the auditorium. I appreciated the kindness, acknowledged it, thanked him and left.

I will go back, I think, next week. Unless something comes up, of course. I want to get back into the fellowship of believers, I just want to do it slowly.

As for other news, Caleb wrote me back yet again since I went to church. He had replied to my message to him from yesterday and I tried to give him a bit of advice without being push or know-it-all about it. It was concerning his preparation to give a daily devotional with the kids. I won't go into that, it was a private discussion and I think it best kept unsaid, just that thanked me for the advice. He sounds like he is doing well, which is what I was really wanting to hear, one way or the other. It was good to have some communication with him.

Home life? The family tenants apparently have found a place. I have had interest in the room, but no-one committing to come over and look at it yet.

I dunno, don't really want to go into too much else. I have some reflecting to do on the words that I heard today.

ben

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Welcome to Monday (at least in this part of the world).
The Wallow fire is now 10% contained. I'm a bit more of an optimist, I guess, cause' the news story I was reading said "only 10% contained". Well that's better than the 0% it was at for weeks and then the 5% it's been stuck at for days.

I will be glad when this family is out of my house. They got their own place, a 4 bedroom house in Glendale. They plan on renting out 2 of the rooms to help pay for it. Good luck, folks, you have no idea what you are getting yourselves into. They figure they can do what I am doing. Which is okay, I guess, but these people really aren't the types that are going to be able to deal with the situations that arise when you have roommates.

I guess they'll figure that one out on their own. They offered me $60 for the wood bedset in that room, I simply said no thanks. The guy that left that stuff said it cost him a small fortune and it IS a very good looking set. Now, they want to buy the love seat that I have been trying to seel forever for $50, they can have at it. In fact, I would sell the entire living room stuff to them for $100 and start over again in there. The couch is still in very good condition - but the coffee table is a bit scratched up. Kids.

Anyway, I do have a few interested individuals that want to take a look at the room, but I think I am going to wait until they are gone. I am going to have to buy a new mattress for that bed in there. I have found a couple of pretty nice ones on Craigslist for a good price.

So, in the near future, there will be work to do. But, the trailer tenants help me nowadays in getting rooms ready to rent. They will go in there and clean the carpet and basically clean the entire room out. I don't have to ask them to do this, either, I guess they feel compelled to do whatever they can to help me out since they have been around - for quite a long time now, actually. It's been a year and a half or so. I wish I could get a hold of a nicer living unit for them - maybe an old RV whose engine is blown but still has a nice interior or something. Not high on my list of priorities. In fact, it isn't on that list at all.

I did, at one point, put out an ad seeing if anyone would like to help out a homeless couple, it was worth a try. I got some stupid people saying I was a beggar and that I shouldn't post such stuff on Craigslist. Sometimes, you would like to meet those people in person and give them a taste of how you feel about them talking to you like that, but I usually just ignore it and move on.

Has there ever been anything that has happened to you in your life that you would like to "make right" with the person that did something to you? I was thinking about that with Caleb up at camp. As a kid, I was sent off to all kinds of camps up in the mountains during summer school breaks.

One such camp had a 20-something year old "counselor" that was a total @$$. He enjoyed making life hell for the campers - which in my case, I think I was all of 12 years old. I remember one morning sitting down at a table to eat breakfast. He asked me a question, can't remember what it was now, and I responded. I guess he didn't like my answer and proceeded to grab my arm and bend it around my back. It felt, at the time, like he was breaking my arm, it was pretty painful. It was enough to make me cry, I'll say that much.

I would love to meet up with that individual today. I would let him know in no uncertain terms just how much I appreciated a "man" inflicting pain on a boy half his size and age.

Regardless, the work day is here and plenty to do.
Thusly,
G'day.

ben

Fijufic said...

Enjoy the fellowship if that is something you need. I steer clear of the church. Mind you I have several minister friends but I simply steer clear...

BenB said...

Umm, yes, I sort of think I need it. I'm just really looking to start making some new friends. I never really "replaced" the ones I lost in the divorce some 7 years ago, my best friend died on New Year's Eve, and many of my other friends are overseas or otherwise not anywhere near here. I'm a bit leery of it all, but I have had this nagging thought in my mind for quite some time now that I need to get back into the fellowship of believers.
ben

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