Sunday - More

Church - good as always. Challenging as well.
They have started a 7 day per week prayer directive.
I will endeavor to be at at least 1 of those meetings.
Maybe more. I can make up to 3 of them per their schedule.
I cannot take work off to go to a prayer meeting, but everything
else is doable. This is something I NEED, frankly, being
brutally honest that my spiritual condition is far from what
it should be and where I want to be.

I miss my now-passed friend.
We used to talk - frequently - on the phone.
He was a best friend. Well, he was really my best friend I have ever had.
He died last year on New Year Eve's Day.
I miss the conversations and the bantering - joking - that went back and forth.
I have no such friends now - I have friends but nothing as close as we were.
I was just thinking - it's time to get with the program and get out.
I mostly mean this in church terms, though.


Mark and Lynnette. What to do with them. No official word from the city yet, but from everything I am hearing, they are going to have to leave.
Mark. 64 years old. Medical conditions to the point of being on low-dose, prescription pain killers. He cannot just sit around all day long watching TV, he does small projects around here all the time. His current project: my new trailer. He took it upon himself to go in and start cleaning it.

Your idea of cleaning something and Mark's are probably 2 different things. When Mark cleans something, whatever it is - it means taking it apart and meticulously cleaning every part, internal and external. If it takes him hours to do a single thing, this is nothing to him. when he is done with a cleaning project, you can be rest assured that whatever he has cleaned? It is FACTORY clean condition. He also helps with the plants and stuff, too. I am preoccupied at this moment with the front yard, glad to have the help with the rest of it.

Lynnette. Late 40's. A ray of sunshine. Excepting for the recent revelation that 350 man may have her removed from my property, I never see her down. I can read into her when she is having a problem, but she never complains about anything. Motivated, she would like her life back. Experienced, she could be making some very good money if the things that are bogging "things" weren't holding her back. She could easily afford her own place, car, etc etc etc if there weren't some serious issues, one of them specifically by a family member that is stealing her identity and really screwing up her record.

If I have to find a place to park that trailer somewhere else, their presence will sorely be missed, I can assure you of that. My human reaction? Freaking go for the gusto and have everything done to everyone that is involved with this crap receive as much revenge as possible. Actually, some feelings from my teenaged years have been invoked, something I will not be going into here, at least what I had thoughts of doing and what the outcome would be. I can only say now that my Christian faith holds me back from such temptations, as powerful as those temptations may be.

There is so much going on all the time in my life, it seems anyway, but I rely on God to give me peace. To keep the urges to do something in check. To try and find a peaceful way out of situations is becoming more and more a predominant way of seeking resolution to things. But I will regress: these people around me that think it's going to go on forever have a different thing coming. My answer if I go such route will be completely legal and will cause them more headaches and resolution seeking than anything they have done to me.

But, even if legal, that's still a revenge way of thinking. I think so, anyway. I dunno. I'm a bit clueless at this point of where to go with all of this situation and what to do with the numerous options available to me, all of which smack of revenge in my mind. Which is why I have yet to do anything. I don't KNOW what to do, yet.

I have not yet discussed this with my pastor and I think - that I probably should. I think that maybe I will glean some wisdom that I haven't even thought of.

I dunno. I really don't know what to do about this situation. In days of old, my reaction would have already been executed. Now, I just don't know. I think if I wait it out, the path I should follow/pursue will become clear.

ben