Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Wednesday 7/27/2011

I did not write an entry this morning because as soon as I got into work - about 5:25 am - I had to get on the clock and get to work. No biggies. I am starting to feel a bit closer to normal again, not quite there but definitely feeling better. However, I have had a pain in my side that I cannot explain and I did go back to the doc's today.

The doc said it is probably kidney stones. Can I please catch a break here? What is going on, anyway? One thing after another? I was directed to continue taking those unbelievable antibiotics until they are gone. I caved in. They make me feel like crap, but they are doing the job. After Saturday I won't have to take them anymore - unless, of course, the infection isn't gone and I go into some sort of relapse.

So, the doc says, time to give blood, another urine sample and a cat scan. A cat scan!! You know, I know lots of people that are terrified of those machines because you get sent into that chamber and apparently the door is shut on you. I can understand the phobia there, but I am not afraid of confined, small places, never have been, doubt I ever will be. However, I do not like being exposed to x-rays - any of it. I don't want to go through airport scanners and I don't like having x-rays done on anything in my body. Call it whatever you want, but I don't think we should be exposing ourselves to such. Yet, the benefits of such a scan are unmistakable. If there is something wrong in there, that thing is going to find it.

Today also marks the first time that I had blood drawn that I did not get dizzy. The aide that was drawing the blood said that guys are always afraid. He went on to say about how they are also afraid of injections and whatever else. No sir, I am not afraid of the pain, there really IS no pain in drawing blood. A tiny pin-prick and that's it. It's AFTER it's drawn and the dude has left the room that I start feeling it in my system. I get nauseous and I always insist on laying down while they take it.

I felt nothing today. And no, I have no fear, whatsoever, of injections. Doesn't bother me in the least. I can see people bleeding out and that doesn't bother me, either. Well, it doesn't make me sick, obviously someone bleeding profusely is cause for concern. My blood pressure has come back down. Inexplicably, the last 3 times I have had it checked, it was WAY higher than normal. Today? 118/75. Not my normal range, but better than them telling me 139/85. I'm normally between 105 and 110/60 to 70. That is without medication, lol.

Changing the subject, I called the IRS today. They told me that carryover does carryover - but to 2005, not 2008. What is the reasoning behind that? He had no idea, only that Congress had passed legislation whenever long ago, apparently, that states the personal casualty carrover goes backward first and then, in my case, to 2006 and if there is any left over, THEN to 2008. Let me guess, Congress figures people might not get to it in time to get the carryover for PREVIOUS years, so do that. I cannot get anything for 2005 or 2006. If there is enough, I could get something for 2008.

Right now? I am getting the taxes turned in, get my 3 grand and then decide whether it's worth all of that trouble to continue on with all of this. I didn't go get my taxes today cause' - I went to the doc's instead. Taxes can wait another day, I will go tomorrow and get that stuff from the accountant and get it sent out.

Moving on, I sent Caleb a Facebook message this morning. He wasn't replying to my emails and he really doesn't have much access to using his cell phone up there. The date changed for him to come home - Friday instead of Saturday. My son doesn't necessarily get all the facts about things in the future down - analytically, I am going to have to work with him on that. Think through things, the potential consequences of whatever you are doing. Go through every possible ending that you can think of in your mind and then make decisions. Okay, that's me, that is definitely not everyone. Perhaps I should just leave it alone and he can figure it out for himself - or not.

So, when I read that I figured what was coming next: the dinner that the organization is going to have for the counselors is not up there, it's in Phoenix - I'm guessing a nice restaurant. Meaning he doesn't need a ride back. That was a letdown for me, I wanted to pick his brain for a couple of hours while driving back. I can do that at home, but not for that much time. It would have been no inconvenience, whatsoever, to drive up there and get him, but, he's his own man so let it go. He still has a LOT to learn about just living life, my intrusions won't help that much. I mean, we all had a lot to learn at that age, no-one is discharged from that scenario that I know of.

I think I still have a lot of learning left to go, in reality, but, not about the basic facts of living on your own and how to survive it. So, Friday night he is coming over here, that was his "request". He was asking me if it was okay to spend the night here! Lol. I have never told him he couldn't stay here, in fact, to the opposite, at the same time, I HAVE told him if he isn't working or going to school, he better plan on finding new digs, cause' baby, this ain't gonna be the place. His mother allegedly told him the same thing (I have doubts about that, but that is what she told me).

So, if he's going to go back to work at Albertson's, providing they give him a job (they told him they would when he gets back to set the record), and his grand parents have enough money set aside for him for his first year of community college, then the money he earns at work should be going to a savings account - at least a good portion of it if he's going to stay at home - to pay for next year.

In reality, I have my doubts he's going to stay at home. If he gets a good enough job to pay for a room somewhere, I am guessing he will be on his way out. It's just the natural way of things. But who knows. I am not over-bearing and I don't make a lot of demands on him at this point besides cleaning up after himself, so we'll see what happens.

Meanwhile, today is Wednesday and tonight is church. I am not going. I cannot stay up that late with this drug having the effect it does on me. It fatigues me and I identified the feeling today: I feel like jello. I just feel like a jellied mess walking around in some amount of weakness and hoping for a better day to come. I will go on Sunday morning and that's the best I can do at this point. The pastors, at least, are fully understanding.

I'm still working on getting camping equipment. I have nothing but the stove and stove pans I bought a few weeks ago. I have been looking for a tent at a good deal but still in great condition. I found one and am trying to get it. Schedules aren't working out, unfortunately.

Other stuff in the workings. Learn how to hunt being on that list. Why? Something I have always wanted to learn. The best time to learn such is with a family, growing up as a kid, going out on such treks. My parents were anti-gun and anti-hunting. Kinda struck that one out. Ponds. Still loving them, but have decided against any plan about a bigger one for now. It would be nice to have one, large pond instead of 3 small ones, but, that just isn't going to happen right now. Cost is the operative word here.

Fall. Would it please get here? Sooner than later, thank you. Get to August, get through August and at least the worst of it is over, though September is hardly cool here. Unless an extraordinary year, it is usually quite warm through September as well, with real cooling to be seen in October. Why do I live here? I ask myself that a lot. The answer is: my son, dad and mother. There is nothing else holding me here.

I'm done. 2 more work days left this week, I'm ready for the weekend and I can say that probably, it will be more laying around and doing nothing.

ben

Well we're moving on. The wedding is a go for my son in California - though I had the location wrong, it's not near Oakland it'...