Thursday, April 5, 2012

Easter

I have been feeling a bit funny the last several days: I have heard nothing about Easter from my mom.  She always does Easter, she invokes often to remind me - all 3 of us I am sure - that she would like to see us then.  Well, my brothers basically don't give a damn about anything but what they are doing anymore.  That takes precedence over a twice yearly visitation with mom and the rest of the family.

So I called her today.  I started out with the fact that I had bought a mattress for the trailer and then I waded into the Easter waters.  My middle brother doesn't call her at all now and apparently won't answer or even respond to her phone calls.  Mom doesn't push herself, when she feels that there is no interest, she will just back off from it.  My oldest brother and his wife have already been down this road of abandoning his mother and his father.

This is completely unnatural to my way of thinking.  I don't understand it.  I have talked to my mom 3 times in the last 7 days on the phone.  I may be 48 years old, but I still love my mother and I don't care what anyone thinks about that.  My brothers have been inciting my anger towards them for some time now for the fact of forsaking my/their dad, who has done nothing to them to deserve them completely abandoning him.  But now my mother?  I have seen it coming for a while now, but I heard it in mom's voice tonight.

She is - heartbroken from what I could infer into it from her voice, intonations and what she said, especially about my middle brother.  No, at this point and for some time now, I don't think too much of my middle brother and I have told him quite frankly about it.  He deleted me as a Facebook friend going on what, 2 years now?..........because of an interchange where I was sick of his superiority, ego attitude and also sick of the way he was absolutely refusing to return any kind of communication from my dad.

But mom?

How can you do that to your own mother?

I had to ask her what she was doing for Easter since she wasn't going there.  This sent her into a tizzy of emotion, to be quite honest about it and I was a bit shocked because of her response.  This was the first I had heard that both of my brothers have stopped calling her and stopped talking to her.

I won't say what kind of emotion that invokes in me or what desire that makes me feel to want to take action upon considering the already foul state between them and my dad.  I have to let it go.  I can't do anything about them - except pray for them and hope that somewhere, somehow, God gets a hold of their hearts and clues them in on reality.

I was definitely planning on going to church for Easter, but I let it go instantly.  Oh well.  I think the Lord would rather me visiting my mother anyway, in honor to Him as well as to my mother, as the word succinctly states to honor your mother and father.  Ohhh, but church was going to be so good.  Yes, special speakers and a nice brunch afterwards.  I will miss that, but, I will have no regrets. There will be other special events.

That's it.  I love my mom.

ben

4 comments:

Lowandslow said...

Good for you, Ben. Enjoy all the time you can with your mom while she's still here. My parents are both deceased and I'm going to visit their gravesite this weekend and take some flowers. My brother and I take turns doing that.

Happy Easter!

S

Michelle said...

I hope your visit with your mother is wonderful for the both of you!

Despite whatever may be going on in the relationships she has with her other sons...you are STILL there for her...and I know she's gotta feel so blessed for that!

Have a great Easter Ben...take care.

Anonymous said...

Don't you have time for both? f

BenB said...

Scott, I know SO many people my age that both parents are passed and they miss them dearly. It's amazing how suddenly you realize how good you had it when - it's gone.

Chell - You have a great Easter too and thanks for the kind words.

Fin: Mom called me this morning. I didn't really think that Shooter's World was going to be open on Easter Sunday and sure enough, it's not. She would rather have us come out next weekend when it's opened. That left me off the hook because I really want to go to church tomorrow, there is going to be a lot going on and it's a service I don't want to miss. I might have been able to do both - but church doesn't get out until noon and sometimes not until 12:30, then head over to mom's house and then home. I don't really care to be out too late on Sundays since I have work early the next morning. So, it's going to work out well, thankfully.
ben

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