Saturday, March 3, 2012

Coco

My beautiful Great Dane/Catahoula mix was put down at 8:38 pm today, 32 minutes ago.
I had been attempting to prepare myself for this for the last few days now.
I know the sight of a dog that is at their last, and she was definitely there.

She was so weak today that she could barely get up and she could hardly walk, bumping
against the walls as she tried to get outside to urinate.  That was it, I took her to an animal
hospital in Gilbert, AZ for one, last, final attempt.

But as I was driving there, I had the gut feeling that this wasn't going to end well.  I've
been a dog owner all my life and I have been down this road several times now.
The vet had taken a sample out of her belly, which was huge.  She said that it was fluid
from her belly and went down a rather short list of things that it could be.  Heart disease,
cancer, a few other things.

When she came back with an estimate of how much it would cost just to try and find out
what was wrong with her - $1,686.00 - well that was the last straw.  I don't have that kind of
money to fork out on a dog.  We had a frank discussion and then I started crying.  When they
brought her into the room I was in, I then started balling.  They left me alone with her after
I had made the decision that it was time for her to be put down and I just cried while stroking
her soft, furry coat.

I wanted to be there for her passing, that she wouldn't die looking into the eyes of a stranger.
So I stayed.  She pulled out the syringe, they already had the thing in her vein, I was speaking softly
into my dog's ear and stroking her head, giving her a kiss here and there, saying goodbye to her.

She passed in front of me.

She was one of the best dogs that I have ever had.  She was so incredibly smart, agile, full of life and
energy.  Loyal, she would follow me everywhere.  I may still have 2 other Great Danes here, but it is
going to take a while to get used to coming home and not having her jumping up and down, making the
noise she made, greeting me and leading the way to the door.

She had been rejected by 4 families, being carted around on Craigslist when I first got her.  She had such
separation anxiety that she would do anything to get out of the yard when I would leave.  2 weeks after
I brought her home, my house burned down, but I was able to find a place to live that would take a dog
that large.

Over time, she got over the separation issue and was fully content to let me go in the mornings when I headed off to work because she knew I would be coming home later.

I will miss her, dearly.

Bye, Coco, I love you sweety.

ben

Saturday 3/3/2012

I have no idea where this situation with Coco is going.  I'm still hoping for the best, but she doesn't appear to be getting any better.  I just don't know if she's getting better or not is the point.  Yesterday, after force feeding her, she later threw it up - like about 3 hours later.
That was not a good sign.  At the same time, though, she is drinking plenty of water on her own.  Plus, the stuff I had force fed her with may not necessarily be a "bland" diet type of thing and I am resorting back to nothing but chicken and rice.
Though, this morning, I did give her a bottle of ensure.  That stuff is racked full of all kinds of good stuff that, if she can keep it down, would help her a bit to regain her strength.
I'm kinda wondering, though, at this point, if the doc might not have missed something on those x-rays he took.  At the same time, she was pissing out solid blood and though I occasionally see some spotting here and there, that is mostly back to what it is supposed to be.  I will be checking on that today.  So, I don't really know.  The whole situation is in limbo.  Continue to give her the strong antibiotics and hope that it will take it's course and have it's way on whatever's going on in there.

One thing's for sure, I can't afford another vet visit.  Maybe just a visit for a checkup - I think that's $45 - but any x-rays or blood panels or whatever else is simply out of the question.  He's a very experienced, long-time vet who I think, anyway, knows what he is doing.  He has been running that place for quite a long time.  I'm just trying to reassure myself that I took the dog to the right place and that a good prognosis has been made and that she is going to get better.  What else CAN I do?

Pray.  Yes, I have been praying over her.  God created all things, including dogs.  He can fix her and I am standing in faith and asking the Lord to do exactly that.  Sound crazy? Maybe, but I don't see anywhere in the scripture that forbids me to pray for animals so therefore, that's exactly what I am doing.  I have nothing else left to do besides sit here and hope and pray.  She was up several times last night - I leave my door ajar so she can get out.  She goes outside, pisses and then drinks more water.  She finally came back in on her own last night on the second trip, for whatever reason she hasn't even been coming back into the house until I go out there and invite her to come in.

Whatever the case, I cannot continue like this forever.  The dog just needs to heal and get it over with, I am not going to even speak the other side of that coin as I believe in the power of the spoken word, so I will speak life over her, not the other alternative.

It's Saturday, so I will probably try to get some stuff done around the house today as I normally do on Saturdays, but this situation is beginning to wear me down.  I really don't even think she would be alive right now if I hadn't started force feeding her.  She still won't even think about eating and she tries to clamp her mouth shut when I do the turkey baster routine - but - it's solid plastic and very long and makes it's way into her mouth regardless of whether she likes it or not.  In a couple of hours, I am going to give her another half bottle of Ensure and then a little later even more.  After that, this evening, I will try giving her a smaller dose of the concoction I have been blending up and hope that she can keep it down.

The only other thing that I have "pressing" on me today is to spend time in the Word and seek the Lord.

Later.

ben

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