Monday, March 5, 2012

It Caught Up To Me

The extreme fatigue, that is.
I was dragging through the day today.  The weeks of dealing with Coco and all that went into that - well it's over but the fatigue is not.
It was good, however, to go to work today and get my mind off of the whole situation, which in turn helped me when I got home.  It usually doesn't take me very long to get over a dog, though I will never forget her of course, the emotion at least tends to dissipate quickly.
I miss her, but the grief is starting to come to a much lower dial tone at this point and that is a good thing.
I had even started to think of possibly getting another dog of the same or close to the same breed.  Catahoulas are extremely intelligent dogs and I would like to have another one.

But it might be a bit soon for that, no hurry in that department.  At the same time, they are killing dogs all over the place, especially in Maricopa County, every day, because there are more dogs up for adoption than there are homes to adopt them out to.  I got Coco and the 2 Danes off of Craigslist, but I got the little Chihuahua for Mark and Lynnette out of the pound - and that is definitely their doggy. It mostly stays in their bedroom all day long and has never been encouraged to become a part of the rest of the pack in this house, at all.  Their doings, not mine.

So, who knows.  I haven't had a puppy in decades - always just get already grown-dogs.

Umm, well whatever. Have to be at work early tomorrow, but only half an hour early.  Just gonna go to bed at the normal time and hope that I can get enough sleep to make it through tomorrow.

ben

Monday (whatever date it is)

I didn't sleep well last night.
Went to bed at 8, woke up around 1:30 and never got back to sleep.
I should have just gotten up and done something to make me sleepy, but I didn't.

I guess I won't go into all the thoughts.  I called my mom yesterday to tell her that Coco
has passed, thinking I was going to be able to have a conversation about it, but I quickly
found myself breaking down again and realizing just give it a few more days or so and this
will pass.  Perhaps those images of her death won't pass so quickly, though.

Going into work today might be a bit rough. I've been off for 3 days - I took a vacation
day on Friday, but I will call it anything but a vacation.  When I first started this process of
getting that travel trailer to go up to the mountains, speaking of vacationing, it was with all
these dogs in mind, especially Coco.

Perhaps a little time will change it, but now it seems a moot point.  You know, running around in the
woods and having a grand ole time.

I probably should just shut up at this point, I have nothing positive to say, my thoughts are bleak.

ben

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