Thursday, April 5, 2012

Easter

I have been feeling a bit funny the last several days: I have heard nothing about Easter from my mom.  She always does Easter, she invokes often to remind me - all 3 of us I am sure - that she would like to see us then.  Well, my brothers basically don't give a damn about anything but what they are doing anymore.  That takes precedence over a twice yearly visitation with mom and the rest of the family.

So I called her today.  I started out with the fact that I had bought a mattress for the trailer and then I waded into the Easter waters.  My middle brother doesn't call her at all now and apparently won't answer or even respond to her phone calls.  Mom doesn't push herself, when she feels that there is no interest, she will just back off from it.  My oldest brother and his wife have already been down this road of abandoning his mother and his father.

This is completely unnatural to my way of thinking.  I don't understand it.  I have talked to my mom 3 times in the last 7 days on the phone.  I may be 48 years old, but I still love my mother and I don't care what anyone thinks about that.  My brothers have been inciting my anger towards them for some time now for the fact of forsaking my/their dad, who has done nothing to them to deserve them completely abandoning him.  But now my mother?  I have seen it coming for a while now, but I heard it in mom's voice tonight.

She is - heartbroken from what I could infer into it from her voice, intonations and what she said, especially about my middle brother.  No, at this point and for some time now, I don't think too much of my middle brother and I have told him quite frankly about it.  He deleted me as a Facebook friend going on what, 2 years now?..........because of an interchange where I was sick of his superiority, ego attitude and also sick of the way he was absolutely refusing to return any kind of communication from my dad.

But mom?

How can you do that to your own mother?

I had to ask her what she was doing for Easter since she wasn't going there.  This sent her into a tizzy of emotion, to be quite honest about it and I was a bit shocked because of her response.  This was the first I had heard that both of my brothers have stopped calling her and stopped talking to her.

I won't say what kind of emotion that invokes in me or what desire that makes me feel to want to take action upon considering the already foul state between them and my dad.  I have to let it go.  I can't do anything about them - except pray for them and hope that somewhere, somehow, God gets a hold of their hearts and clues them in on reality.

I was definitely planning on going to church for Easter, but I let it go instantly.  Oh well.  I think the Lord would rather me visiting my mother anyway, in honor to Him as well as to my mother, as the word succinctly states to honor your mother and father.  Ohhh, but church was going to be so good.  Yes, special speakers and a nice brunch afterwards.  I will miss that, but, I will have no regrets. There will be other special events.

That's it.  I love my mom.

ben

Thursday 4/5/2012

Yikes.  Another miserable night's sleep.
That always makes for a lovely day at work.
Well it's a beautiful day, so I will just drink a lot of
coffee and get with the program.
I attempted to sleep in an extra 20 minutes which did
absolutely nothing for me since once the alarm clock
goes off, I'm awake and that's that.

Well, I got started late so, this one's ending early.

G'day.

ben

Dad

SO the trip to visit my dad. Space but the elongated Drive no doubt about that. However I tend to drive rather fast so the 15 hours was prob...