Monday, May 27, 2013

That's my mind at the moment.
I got into the email account that has mostly family stuff going on with it to find an email from my Uncle in Florida.
In that email were the emails previous to it.  A LONG series of emails between my dad and his brothers, sisters and whoever else that is on his list.

Reading through all of it, I find out his "wife" has told him to leave once again.  At this point, this is not shocking news.  I have heard this several times now and personally, I wonder why he has stuck around this long.  But, everyone has different ways of dealing with things.  I already went through a bad enough marriage, I would definitely not be sticking around for another one if it went that direction and it became obvious over time that nothing was going to heal it.

What got me flaming, however, is the fact that this woman brought one of her sons down for the 3 day weekend to effectively help her throw him out.  In one of my dad's emails, I read that she and her son - Rod - were having a loud discussion in the living room about "how bad and awful a husband he is".  Right there, while my dad is just in the next room.  Then this guy has the balls to come up to my dad - 86 years old - and "inform" him of what is happening here: you are being thrown out. The dude is in his early 50's.

I cannot convey the seething anger that crept into me after reading all of this.  What business does that guy have sticking his nose into that situation? What kind of woman would bring her offspring in to do her dirty work for her?  This is Arizona, she can't legally just throw him out, the house is community property.  He can agree to do so if he wants, but these people are just giving him the shaft and he will like it, apparently, at least according to them.

I wrote my dad and told him I would be more than happy to come down there and help "mitigate" this situation.  If he wants to allow himself to be trampled on, then be my guest.  If he wants help, I'm all over it.  He NEEDS to get out of there, IMO, just the way they are doing it is what is really grinding me.  I can pretty much say that a part of my vacation coming up is going to be spent down there helping my dad do whatever needs to be done.  He has some sort of realty professional driving him around to help him find a place to live.

It's probably a good idea if I don't get involved with what is going on in that house at the moment, I don't really know if I will be able to contain my emotions in such a situation.  If it were just her and him going at it and that's it, that's one thing. I just cannot believe the audacity of bringing one's own son in  to literally throw an old man out on the street.  If my parents ever asked me to do such a thing, I would absolutely refuse unless it was an extremely abusive situation and even then, I would be very hesitant.  I know my dad, he is on the complete opposite end of the "abuse" scale.  He is a lifelong Methodist minister, he is well known in the area he lives for his charity work and his giving nature.

Whatever.  He hasn't written me back and the tones I had in my email to him probably weren't of such that he would be interested in the "mitigation" help anyway.  But, after he finds a place I can help him get settled in and do whatever needs to be done to get the place livable.

And hopefully after getting some time behind me, I can get beyond my own anger and just let it go.  It's my family, my kin, that's all, I just can't stand to see such things happening to people, much more to my own dad.


That's it, for that.  Just needed to write it out and get it out of me.  I can't allow myself to cave into near-barbaric desires to do things that are not a part of a civilized society, not that I would anyway, but just have to deal with the turmoil that occurs within.  We are all guilty at some point in our lives of treating others in ways we probably shouldn't have, so it is in this situation.  I can only offer my dad help if he wants it and that's that.

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