Monday, September 30, 2013

I haven't felt like this in decades.
How do you turn this off?
Not that I want to!
We did "20 questions" last night - no sexual questions posed or allowed in this particular set - to "get to know each other better".
This went on, literally, for hours.  In fact, 5 hours had passed and it was all-of-a-sudden time to get ready for bed last night.
I was looking at round-trip airfare to potentially spend a week out there and see if this is really meant to be.  It's one thing to talk over the net, it's another to meet in person and find if there is physical attraction.

The only problem is that I have already taken 2, 1 week off vacations this year.  Not that I "can't" get a third but if I were to spend the $400 to go there and back, I would want a full week off.  Even if the situation turned to, oh well, this wasn't meant to be, we are still friends and have been for a very long time.  I intend on going out there to help her with all the mess that has resulted after her getting divorced.

That is, of course, my only real reservation in this scenario, the divorce is fresh.  But to hear it from her and a friend of her's that has known her for a long time, she has been divorced for 10 years, just the breakup never happened and the papers not signed by the court.  The man apparently has Asperger's syndrome, a thing I have been around in the past.  I can attest to a person with a mostly blank look on their face all the time, completely disconnected to most things and very interested in only a few things.  How that works out in a relationship, well I don't have any personal knowledge of it, but from what she describes, it makes marriage pretty much a living nightmare with no intimacy and in this case, very little connection even with his own kids.

I dunno, but the more we talk the more heated it is getting.  I'm pretty sure I'm ready for this, it's been 8 years.  I have had this thought in the back of my mind that if I find the right person, I will move out of town if that's what it takes to be with that person.  That would have to be the scenario in this case.  But, we haven't quite gotten that far yet.  This whole thing started out when she confided in me she was getting divorced - she didn't want anyone to know about it for whatever reason and then we started discussing what, exactly, was going on and the toll the situation has been taking on her for quite a long time now.  I started praying for her, her kids and even the man in question.

Anyway, it's sort of a giddy feeling.  Like being a teenager in love for the first time or something.  Hard to explain.  I sit and wonder if this could actually happen.  I would be taking on a role that includes 9 children - though one of them is in the military.  Some of the kids head's are messed up because of the lack of connection with their father.  Or really, the father's lack of showing any love or involvement in their lives.  She was telling me last night that the young ones have been asking her to find them a real daddy.  That's a pretty stark and telling statement coming from kids under the age of 10.  You really wouldn't expect to hear that and apparently they don't miss him at all. He begrudgingly takes them for an after noon on weekends, but not all of them.  I don't know and didn't ask if they really wanted to go with him or not.

It's kind of a messed-up situation, actually, but still.

Time to be off to work.

G'day.

ben

2 comments:

  1. Sounds like yr eyes are wide open to the realities of a huge family v one son. SO good luck to ya, and hang on tight and enjoy the ride. You are definitely ready for a relationship, and sounds like she is too. f

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  2. Why thank you! Yes, I am pretty cognizant of what is entailed in a large family - been around enough of them and I am already living with 5 other people, but there is a ways to go and time spent talking before i would come on here and say: I'm engaged! lol. But I can hope : )

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