Sitting on a tarmac in Houston, waiting for the plane to be turned around so we can head out to the runway and take off. Not really so elated that I am coming home. I could have just stayed another week, month, year.......
Lots to ponder and more so pray about when I get home. A second trip is definitely en-queue, shooting for New Year's. Dunno if I can swing that so soon after this trip. I have plenty of vacation hours but money is a different subject.
Flying on a jet plane. It's so cool. Sitting here listening to the roar of the engines and just taking it all in. Plane is going to arrive early - which really isn't that great of a thing for me, whatever wind conditions or whatever causing it to arrive early could just back off, lol, I'll take every last minute of this flight I can get!
Room has been rented, I got a $100 non-refundable deposit from the renter. I didn't know you could send money simply by giving the bank the email address of the intended recipient, that's pretty strange stuff to me, but the money is in my bank account and he is moving in this coming week, not sure of which day though. I am counting the room rented the day he agreed to it. Every day I lose is money lost and there were at least 7 more people that wanted to come take a look, so I have no problem declaring the room rented and counting each day since that point towards rent owed.
Back to reality. The reality of love. This is nothing like I have ever experienced before. This isn't just words and things lovers say to each other. Her smile is infectuous. When she rubs my arm while we are holding hands I become intoxicated, literally, with a constant stream of endorphines flowing to the point that I am in gaga land, wondering why I couldn't have had this much earlier in life. There are times when i am so entranced that I am in a different world and don't even register anything that is going on around me. I always wondered what was going on with people that had that look on their face. I have never experienced anything this intense in all of my life. God's love is a different kind of love. Mom's love also a different kind of love. This is a totally differnet land.
I have missed being touched and touching - anyone, someone - for so long. She has all of her kids, some of which give her all kinds of affection. I have had no-one. Just my dogs. They have their kind of love, of course, and they are ever loyal. One thing that always sticks out about dogs, they don't care how bad of a day you had or had miserable you are, they will always show you all the affection they have in their hearts. It's a good thing, yes, but it doesn't come anywhere close to what I am experiencing with her now.
This is a point where the lack of wealth really hits. Limited options for frequent visits. Pretty much not possible. I will long to be with her and I will try to invent ways to add to my income, but in the end, perhaps the longing is as good as being with her. Thinking of her all day long and hoping for the day to come to fly out again and spend time with her and her family. The 36 acres isn't a bad thing, either, a menagerie of horses, cows and a lot of pasture.
Well, I think I am going to stop writing now, I'm on the plane and just taking all of what happened in the last 7 days in. Finish this one later when I get home.
Home - hours later. And tired. Worn out. Wiped out. That trip took it out of me. It was a good trip, not saying it wasn't but wow.
Pick this up again tomorrow.
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