Sunday, November 10, 2013

After a mind boggling week with her and hearing her out endlessly about the emotional pain and the fact that her ex never touched her, said any kind words to her, on and on and on and on - I was informed a little while ago that I was "blase" with her at the airport.  That I hadn't touched her near as much as she expected.  It was an atom bomb gone off.

I spent the week with her, the entire week.  If I wasn't at the hotel, I was with her, excepting one day where I went to the pond to work and the truth came out that it was - her time of month.  She also informed me before I left that she believes menopause is setting in.....

I can deal with much of anything, especially with a woman I have fallen in love with.  But, I will not say to a person that I am going to change, become this or that. I am who I am. If holding her hands and kissing her and extended hugs aren't enough for her, then I figure it's time to move on.

I'm glad it came out.  I don't know where it's going now, because I got off the line, this went on for well over an hour and I have to get up for work early in the morning, this kind of conversation going on every day can be quite draining.  I would rather find out now if this is right or not.  If she doesn't like me the way that I am right now, if she doesn't love me the way that I am right now as I love her the way she is - right now- it isn't going to work. 

I learned this the very hard way and I will not go through it again.  I figured it also better to get off the line and let some time elapse and have some time to think it through before going on further with this particular conversation.

Whatever the case, I am exhausted and I can only imagine what it's going to be like trying to get up in the morning.

ben









6 am in Torrance, CA. Yesterday, I witnessed the most beautiful wedding I'm likely to ever be a part of, ever.  I'm still just amaz...