Yeah I knew what I was getting myself into, but I guess I didn't expect that it was going to be that way more often than not.
In fact, most of the time in one form or another.
Very little peace.
In fact, the peace I get is when I get back to my little abode.
And then sit here for a bit and start thinking about things.
But I don't get much time for that considering the schedule. Cept'ing on weekdays after work when I don't go over there. I may not go today just because of this last weekend and I need to regroup. Getting drained continuously without a fresh supply going back in cannot be sustained.
I am not going to go into what, exactly, happened this weekend, just it was very unsettling and has me wondering about things.
If in the end I tried my best, gave it my all and continued in hope and attempting to work things out - and it doesn't work? Then I will find that I will have to walk away from the situation and let it go. Not my first choice or desire, but I've already been through hell in a marriage and I refuse to knowingly walk into another one.
So I guess that paints the picture well enough. Well I ain't giving up. yet. Just feel like this is heading the wrong direction and I'm not sure what is going to turn that around. To go into details would reveal too much personal information about the entire situation to the entire world - or at least the world that reads any of this - at least for now.
As for right now? Monday. Must be about the business of getting to work and going through another day.
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