Monday, July 7, 2014

Sitting at a jobsite somewhere down south....,,waiting. We aren't even a week into "his decision"
and already he is regretting it. Talked to him this morning via texting, he is on the verge of going back to what it was before: pure hell on earth. Pleading with me to talk to her to change this, but meeting a dead end road with me.

I can't help you, mom says you made your choice now you are going to have to live with it. Obviously, decisions not exactly going in his favor. He informed me he is likely going to blow up to which I could only answer: that will only make it that much worse for you.

But blow up he will if it continues to go against him, been down this road before, not exactly looking forward to it, though the blow ups will be directed towards her, not me ........which doesn't mean I won't be affected by it. It is hard to imagine why he ever thought this would get better going back to her. If history repeats itself, it definitely won't.

So this week he wanted to go over there today and Wednesday, she said one or the other but not both days which is why he's pissed.  She says he is obsessed with her, I actually agree with her on that one.  It's not healthy, either, it is consuming his life much like a drug or alcohol addiction: you have to have more and more of it and if anything stands in the way, look out!!

I had a long talk with him, he was eluding to switching back again, to which I stated: I am going to let this play itself out. If this turns into the same disaster it was before, and you two are going at it again, you especially grinding on her nonstop, I will simply suggest to both of you that it might be wise to give me the handles again cause' this ain't working out too well. Or, you can ask her yourself since you are the one that started this in the first place.  

    I suppose I could say that he is getting what he deserves, especially after the way he treated me when he decided to switch. But I forced myself to get beyond that, trying to simply keep God and Christ first in all this as much as possible.

So, stepping back and take a look at this realistically?  And asking myself the question where is this headed? Likely disaster. The biggest change that has occurred since I took this over is that boy has become extremely much more respectful towards his mother and his attitude has gotten much better even though he has relapses here and there.

If it does turn back into the hellish nightmare that it was before, it will not only greatly sadden me, but I will also feel like I've just wasted months and months and months of mental anguish and emotional output in attempting to get this particular problem turned around and headed into the right direction.

It is hard to fathom putting all that energy and thought plain out work into just one of these situations and then have it come crashing back into my face the same as it was before I started. 


















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