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Showing posts from January 5, 2014
Is this too good to be true?  How does something like this get dropped on my lap?  I have sought it for a long, long time and when it finally came and now in the middle of it, it is like a dream. I look into the dream and wonder if it will vanish, go away, turn to dust, dry up and wither away.  I ponder a life alone without anyone.  I ponder a life with her and with all those kids.  I wonder about giving up my house and all the work I have put into this property.  Years worth.  I look out my windows and see the fruits of that labor.

I think about the serenity of my current existence and come to the conclusion:  it is only an existence.  It is void of all the things that make a person feel loved and living a life to it's fullest.  What is there here? A desert full of heat.  A family full of contention and people that can't stand to be around one another for more than a few hours, a couple of times a year.  I hate to leave my mom behind, but she has money,she can come visit if …
Midnight, call it Sunday morning.  Got home an hour and a half ago. Dogs were all over me, then tenants.  I'm tired but winding down from traveling with a bunch of screaming kids making all kinds of noise in the airplane.  And kicking my seat.  And making me want to do things, such as pull off my belt and take care of business.  But I refrained from doing anything and that was that.

Good trip, though, as far as the visit is concerned.  I had 4 boys traipsing along with me to the lower pond on both Thursday and Friday.  I was intent on building the dam and they were intent on helping me - though the idea of driving a pickup and a tractor were certainly part of the allure. Still, they just hung with me for half a day like flies on honey.  I got the message: they want a man around and they need that kind of attention.  I'm not a person to sit around and do nothing and I do have a sense of humor though my kind is hard for people to figure out at first.  Those 2 days were very pro…