Sunday, January 26, 2014

Something must have changed about my appearance?  Or maybe I just haven't been noticing?  Or what?  I was standing at a Starbuck's earlier - my lady got me that cup that has free refills for the entire month of January and yes, I have taken quite the advantage of it! - and felt eyes on me.  I din't recognize I felt the eyes, I just looked up in the direction of the person and there was the lady sitting in a chair, staring at me with a smile on her face.  We locked eyes for a moment and the she looked away.  She was with another guy.

Several times in recent times I have been catching ladies looking at me.  I don't find that abnormal, at all, but I just either haven't been noticing it or whatever about my appearance or - something - has changed.  I am smiling more, lol, I know that for a fact and I am doing that regardless of anyone around or not! Okay! I was  just tickled me that this lady was looking at me so intently until I caught her off guard and locked eyes with her.

She is looking forward to her visit here, even though in the last couple days it's been pretty rough.  I mean, really rough.  I can't wait to show her a good time, a true vacation, away from all those kids and especially the ones mouthing off to her and dropping the f bombs, using the rest of the cusswords in the spectrum, refusing to do anything she tells them to do and basically the shittiest attitude you could possibly think of, that's what goes on.

The 17 year old is so far off in his thinking, I can't imagine WHAT is going to happen to him after he leaves the house.  He has NO clue how good he has it and is totally unappreciative of everything she does for him.  He declared today that he's moving out.  Great, I said to her, let him go!  He needs to learn and obviously that ain't gonna happen at your house! He's out for a week and he's gonna find out just how hard it is.  No car, no job, no money.  He posted on his Facebook wall that he needs a place to stay and will also need a ride to school.  Please.  I do NOT take pleasure in another person's calamity, as the bible puts, not at all.  I just fear that even thoughts of suicide and ending it will occur because he is so totally unprepared, mentally, for what's going to come at him.

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Sorry folks!  I just find myself getting caught up in another life that is 1,200 miles away! I forget to finish entries, I must have a dozen drafts sitting in there that I haven't posted!

Let's get into yesterday! Cause it was crazy!

She is at her store, she calls the 17 year old up to get out of bed and bring the pickup down to the store and empty the trash.  They put the trash in that back of it and haul it to the store instead of paying for waste service at their house.  He gets there and starts getting into it with her yet again about the same old things: you should be doing this, you don't buy enough milk, yada yada yada.  She says whatever and he throws the keys to the gate at her, tells her to f*** off and then gets in the truck -which is hers, not his - and goes home!

When he gets home, he posts on his Facebook wall that he's moving and needs a place to stay and oh, btw, I will need a ride to school!  It was shortly after that that I was talking to her on the phone and she was asking my advice.  He crossed the line! He wants to leave!  Yet, he has nowhere to go so he's still at home.  it's time to lay down the law! No more cussing, no more foulness with you, shut up and leave!  NO MORE!  He quit his job, he doesn't have any money, was demanding $40 from her which she refused to give him.  She took the car keys away from him - not his car either that he drives, that's also hers - and gave him the law.  If you can't talk to me nice, don't talk to me at all!  That was my suggestion - stern suggestion though - she has tolerated more than enough from a kid that is about to turn 18, screw that!  That boy can just shut his da** mouth!  If he doesn't, kick his @$$ out. You don't need that in your home! So that's where that stands, for now.  Do NOT back off and stick to your guns!

Next, the 15 year old.  He goes on this date with a 13 year old girl.  The girl's mother picks him up and they are off doing whatever the entire day.  He's texting me here and there - I dunno, we have something of a relationship going where we talk about things and he even asks for advice - and then he bids me a goodbye.  No biggies there, but I was talking with my lady all day long yesterday and then at around 8, I asked when the 15 year old was coming home?  Ding ding ding!  I didn't know that he had told her he would be home no later than 5!  We got so completely wrapped up in talking about the 17 year old and what to do with him that the 15 year old totally slipped her mind.  Well I am not there, I thought he might be home, but didn't know for sure, hence I asked.

So she tries to text him.  No answer. Ooops!  I'm thinking, what is with the mom of this girl that she doesn't keep in touch with 15's mom? Especially having him all day long - no communication whatsoever.  My lady has so much going on and dealing with that 17 year old, things slip her mind.  So she forgot to save the other mom's phone number.  She then finds a text in her phone from a phone number she doesn't recognize, it's the girl's phone (does everyone on earth have an Iphone? even kids? Cause I don't have one!).  it wasn't asking if he could stay longer, it was telling her he was staying longer to watch a movie with them!  I have become my lady's advice/suggestion factory.  She asks,, I tell her.  I was ALL over my son at that age!  Texting him, driving around to find him and surprise visits, got my inspiration from the movie Uncle Buck - funny movie but a couple of good ideas in there, really, on keeping track of your teenage kids.

It rang with me: yes, I will just make sure he calls me every hour on the hour and I will know where he is going and yes, I will show up sometimes to let him have the idea that he isn't going to get away with much of anything!  That's how I raised my boy.  Back to this 15 year old.  If there is one thing that is certain, that boy KNOWS not to mess with momma on communication.  She gets back on with him and frankly tells him not to push her or this whole thing is going to be cut off.  Oops.  Boy is in "love", he doesn't want that.  I was talking to my lady, like what on earth is this woman thinking? The other mom that is?  Your son has been over there almost 11 hours, hon, it's time for him to come home, screw the movie! Don't text them, CALL that number and ask to speak to the mom!  Do you think that woman would like it if the situation was reversed? I'l tell you what, dear, if it were me, I would have driven over there, showed up on their doorstep, smiled at them and said, yup, it's time for my boy to come home.  THAT would get the message across pretty plain and clear!  And yes, that is exactly what I would have done!

Turns out the boy's phone allegedly isn't working over there, bad reception.  Is that a valid excuse? NO!  Well I dunno what my lady said to them but they were out of there and heading back in a hurry!  Come in the door, they all said they were sorry. If there is one person that should be saying they're sorry, it's that mom!  So then, m'lady shows the mom a pic of me and she's like, wow, he's hot!  LOL!!!  Then come to find out the 15 year was talking about me to them while they were over there.  Okay,  I get it finally, the kid obviously thinks highly of me.  I don't say that in vain or think I'm anything great, but I have spent ample amounts of time helping this kid to think things through, a thing he hasn't exactly mastered yet.  He posted something on his FB wall the other day out of extreme anger, I contacted him and we had a rather long discussion.  I mean, threatening another kid on FB not a good idea.  The school he goes to will boot any kids that get into fights, period. Strict policy and they will boot them even if the fight doesn't happen on school grounds.  So, trying to get the boy to think:  Umm, dude, you haven't read about schools that boot students for some of the stuff they have posted on their FB wall? Employers firing employees for same such?  Next thing I know, he says he deleted, and thanks man.

Well anyway.  My suggestions: 6 hours max date.  Next date at your house,not hers.  Text every hour on next date over there.  CALL and ASK permission if something changes.  Next date is going to be at m'lady's house and yes, she will be all over them, it will be totally supervised and that will be that.

Now then.  Countdown to her visit.  Still haven't found a ring! Well I did, but I decided better to wait until the first and get some tenant money in.  Yes, I am seriously zeroing in on the decision to ask her to marry me.  But, I just still have thing in my head: wait until after next visit, no kids around, spend some quality time together, let's make sure that this is right for both of us.  So that's really the only thing holding me back right now.  How do we do without kids around? Okay, we had plenty of time without kids around on both of my trips out there, but on this trip, there ARE no kids to interfere.  Yes, they may text her asking her stuff - like she imposed a rule while she's gone: the kids are to go NOWHERE. Well, to school yes but otherwise nothing else.  In other words, they are prolly going to be texting her: can we PLEASE go here or there? Or, what are you two doing?  Or, did he propose to you yet? LOL.

Enough for one entry!

ben











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