Saturday, May 3, 2014

Easily hands down the worst sickness I have endured in a couple of years at least.  That's because it wasn't just one thing. I started with bronchitis and coughing incessantly alllll day long for weeks but then this week, got hit by the flu on top of it.  Thursday night, a very foul headache took over and continued on allllllll day long yesterday.  I have had zero energy.  I took 3 days off of work.  I was hoping to get anything done towards the move and only on one day did I feel good enough to pack one box.

As I said before, this couldn't have hit me at a worse time.  I should be done packing boxes by now and just doing finishing touches and making sure all duck are in a row, instead, I am no-where near done. It's pressing on  me bad, but there is nothing I can do!  If I am sick, I'm sick, I can't just wish it away and I can't just magically ask for my energy back.  If I start on something, I get tired in 10 minutes and have to go lay down.  I completely gave up on it yesterday with that headache, in fact I gave up on everything. I just made a trip to the bank yesterday and that was it. It was soooooooooo unbelievably miserable.

It's one thing to get a headache that feels that rotten for an hour or something and take some pills and get rid of it.  It's entirely another to get on that won't go away regardless of what you do and the only thing that makes it feel better is to lay down and go to sleep.  To put it into perspective, I was sitting here in my kitchen on the computer yesterday with tears coming into my eyes, involuntarily the pain was that bad.  I was not having an emotional meltdown, it was just the constant, unending pain of it that would not subside for any reason, even acetaminophine or later trying the other stuff, which has completely escaped my mind what it's called now.

So here it is, the 2 week countdown,  the headache is all but gone - I can still feel it but nothing like yesterday - I have so much to do and so little time to get it done.  Hit the panic button because that's how I feel at this point.  And sitting here doing nothing is still  all I can muster.  This would be the third day of the flu so that makes sense, flu doesn't just go away in a day.

So, do I force myself to just get with it and get stuff done regardless of how bad I feel? Or sleep and rest and get better and then hope once I have my energy back that I'll have enough time to get at least the bare minimum done and dump the rest on Mark?  Guaranteed George and Susan aren't moving into my room until I leave, I had other plans but those were shot out the window starting with that bronchitis.

This is getting complicated, much more than it should or needs to be.  I still wonder if I there is a message in all of this that I am not hearing or seeing.  Is it the enemy fighting me before a great victory? Or God telling me don't go?  Well I am not one of those people that believes that God "makes" people sick, still, am I missing something here?

I dunno.  I'm pretty much headlong into the thing at this point, kinda hard - not impossible - but kinda hard to turn back and say, oh well, this isn't working, gong, let's do something else.  Besides the tentacles entrenched into that family at this point and her for that matter, I have all but quit my job here and slated to start over there later on this month.  I still haven't even found a place to live over there yet.  Which isn't the end of the world there is always extended stay places but I would like to get something sealed and done before I get there.  Ohhhhh how I wish I had that 401k loan paid down enough to pay it off and take out another loan against it, that would help this situation immensely right now.  Still got over $700 to go before it's done.  Take out a 5k loan and not have to worry about money issues.

This is all taking a step into thin blue air off a ledge a thousand feet up from the bottom and wondering where my foot is going to land.

Well I'm going to start stressing if I get off onto this subject too much and stress does not help get over illness, so I guess I better stop.  I have found, though, at least a couple of extended stay motels that would do if I find nothing else.  There is, of course, the tenting option in a campground right there in Longview.  Not as bad as it sounds since all I would be doing is sleeping there, the rest of the time either at her house or at work.  I'm going to call this an adventure and attempt to start treating it that way and care less where or how this adventure unfolds and if that means a campground then so beit!  Keep my expenses WAY down on living!  Look, there are plenty of rooms available there just the totally wrong direction.  I can't be living an hour and a half drive away from work.  45 minutes is bad enough.


Long interlude.  And time for bed.  I'm feeling much better though, thank God Almighty!

Wednesday morning.
Yes, I took the day off work.
Probably going to call in sick for tomorrow as well.
I am feeling better, but not that much better.  I mean the coughing is going way down, finally.  After days of coughing twenty-four hours a day at least I can say that much. But I still feel like crud.

Sitting at Denny's waiting on breakfast, didn't feel like cooking but was hungry.  Going to Walmart to get some packing material.  I'm not saying I'm going to start packing today, I just need to have the stuff available for when it finally hits that I am well enough to do something in that arena, cause' honey? The clock is ticking down. It's the thirtieth of April and I am supposed to be leaving for Texas on the seventeenth of May.  That may sound like a lot of time but it really isn't considering what I still have left to go and considering I have been put on hold for quite a while now concerning this illness wiping me out.

Like, go to work drain out whatever energy I may have and get home and have nothing left.  So yeah, I will probably take tomorrow off too.  If I feel like pushing it I will take off Friday as well and use some of my sick hours up.  I have used 5 of them out of eighty.

So, off to Walmart after this and then home and back into my bedroom and continue to breath in heavily humdified air.  And rest.

Of course the normal stuff going on, or becoming normal anyway.  Josiah playing his little games.  Well this one was a big game.
Thursday morning.
Tired, out of it, feel like crud still.  No energy, couldn't work if I wanted to - which I don't and called in again. If I feel like this at the end of today? Yup, I will be calling in again.  That's what sick time is for, you get sick, you stay home and get well.

I have all of these thoughts swirling around in my mind to get stuff done today since I am home towards moving, yet I have zero energy.  Getting out of bed was a major effort in itself.


I'm sick, what can I say?  Kept falling asleep on and off all day long. Tried to get anything done in packing, got one box done, gag.  I've got a bad sinus headache going right now and it isn't too pleasant.

Ended.  Finish in a new one.

Interesting day. Up early - 4:00, jolted out of deep sleep by the ridiculous phone alarm - annoying as all get out but that's the inten...