Monday, July 28, 2014

Pretty strange stuff.
Just got done meeting with m'lady's 19 year old daughter.
The daughter was over at her house babysitting one day last week and I showed up to take almost all of them to the pet store to get some more fish for their fish tank. Apparently she didn't know I was coming and came out of the house talking in loud tones and apparently asking me what was going on here? .....she was talking to me while staring at the ground which is why I say apparently ......... her tones were haughty with a tinge of arrogance so I did not reply to her, instead the kids all gave her a hard time because they had already told her I was coming.

Later on that evening I wrote her an FB message: What is the problem here? .....etc etc etc.  Just wanting to know why she takes such a stance with me.  I don't know her, she doesn't know me, we have hardly ever talked, she doesn't live at home, I have never said anything unkind to her, what's the deal? She wrote back that she didn't like the way I was talking to her and this and that and that the conversation was over.  I said fine and that was that.

I was not going to contact her again and I didn't. Instead, the next day she said she felt we should talk in person and that we should meet in person to discuss. ??? Okay, I'm game.  So met we did, not an hour ago at a Starbucks.

Chilling. Hurt, anger and possibly hate in there.  I just sat down at the table and said well I spoke my peace the other day.  She replied well why did yo want to meet? Umm, sorry, I didn't ask for this meeting, you did.  Well I don't understand why you want to be buddy buddy with me?  I don't accept this situation with mom, I just don';t accept it (referring to our relationship). I never said I want to be buddy buddy with you.  Every time you come over to her house you completely ignore me, treat me as if I don't exist.  I have no idea why.  What is the issue here?  Well I don't want to be buddy buddy with you, she replies again.  When have acted in such a manner?

She just couldn't say anything nice.  She is full of anger  She is bitter towards her parents. It is obvious that I represent something to her that is totally unwelcome.  That's fine, she doesn't have to accept me she doesn't even have to talk to me, I just wanted to know if I had done something to offend her, because, as I said to her, I have said hi to her every time she comes over there and she completely, totally ignores me.

She sat there at that table tearing apart a piece of paper, twirling up the pieces and dropping them on the table.  The only times she looked at me was to tell me she basically wants nothing to do with me.  That's fine, she could have told me that on that FB message instead of meeting in person to tell me off.  Though she said she didn't basically want anything to do with me, at the same time she wasn't getting up and leaving.  I talked a little more trying to ascertain as to whether there was anything else she wanted to talk about - I sensed there was but if so, she wasn't letting it out.  I continued to try to talk but she wasn't responding at all.  It was so uncomfortable.  I finally just said well, if there isn't anything else to discuss, I am going to leave.  She said fine and that was that.

As I said, the coldness in her eyes was chilling. Seriously. Oh well. I just could have done without that meeting in person. I had thought that if she wanted to meet, perhaps she wanted to have something good come out of this, otherwise, what is the point of meeting?  So yes, I was taken aback to find out she had nothing nice to say to me and further that she wants nothing to do with me. Do you meet to what amounts to a total stranger to have them tell you that?

Long day at work. I was very tired this morning, didn't sleep well last night and I paid for it.  After my only stop was done, I got back to the yard and was informed there was a run to Springhill. "It's not that much".  I'm looking at several tickets worth of product and thinking, this is a LOT of material, it's going to take a while to pull all of this.  It was freaking HOT out there today!  I mean, it was bad.  I spent the entire afternoon out in the heat pulling that order, it became obvious that driving 90 miles one way and getting back at any decent hour was not going to happen.

I'm totally exhausted.

G'nite.

ben
My son is almost done with his year stint at RevHi. He is coming back from the Philippines to Hawaii, then off to Cali and then back to Phoenix.  At that point, I have spoken with him about coming out here for a visit to which he heartily agreed.  I'm looking forward to seeing him, talking about our Lord with him, hearing about his adventures and his plans.  And just spending time with him before he moves on to whatever it is that the Lord has for him to do at this point.

As for me, seeking the Lord about what is going on over here is really top priority.  I have to know what I am doing here - as in, what is His plan for all of this?

Regardless, another work week has yet arrived and I am finding the work hours to be unacceptable.  Consuming 12 hours of every day from the time I leave until the time I get back this way and leaving much of nothing left over to do much of anything is not a life, it's just a rut/groove that you get into and easy to get sucked up into to the point that you find it hard to break your way out of it.

But, I intend on praying over all of this, not running out and trying to find another place of employment. If God wants me working somewhere else or doing something completely different in order to pay the bills and be able to bless others, then I place my hope and faith in Him to make that happen. Not that I don't have to do anything about it, but certainly I have to spend the time it takes to seek Him and hand this all over to Him, where it belongs.

Well, as usual for a workday morning, I am out of time.

G'day.

ben

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