I did my part. My mom's birthday is on 9/11. I sent her flowers on Friday. I sent her a new thermometer that she wanted that takes out side temp and sends it to a receiver insisde. I got one that is solar powered so she doesn't have to buy batteries for it. I wished her happy birthday on Facebook and also wished her a happy birthday on the group mms that she has with all of us - her and 3 sons. I called her and spent a good deal of time talking to her.
My brothers - sent her no gifts. They did not call her. They texted her: Happy Birthday Mother! - not even using mom which I find deplorable but that's just me - and that was it. She moved to their side of town to be closer to the mountains and not have to deal with valley traffic, which can be quite insane. She is very close to them now. No mention of visiting her.
I know all of this because when I was talking to her on the phone, I said I would have come over and spent some time with her if I were there which is when she went off - not too much but she did - about all of this. I've always felt family is the one of the most important things you have in life, my brothers have always felt quite differently. But my God, at least call her on her birthday. Texting is okay for trivial stuff that you don't need a phone call for, but not this.
Well, I am planning a trip back there in the next month or two and I will be staying with her. She lets me use one of her vehicles so that's a nice added plus, but I go to see her and my son and some friends. I do not go to see my brothers. They could care less and I'm not going to waste any more of my energy trying to get something going in family that is obviously never going to happen. It's draining, that kind of emotional energy being spent on people that won't bother to was an ounce of it back on you. Even if you are related. I didn't bother to tell them about dad's birthday last month, I knew they wouldn't call him or do anything. I am giving them no further updates on his health. If he dies, I won't bother to tell them about that, either. If they want to know what's going on with him, they are going to have to find out for themselves. Even though the man has Alzheimer's, they still refuse to talk to him at all.
I am fighting this feeling of despising my brothers and that's not really a good place to be in. I have to really guard my heart and tell myself that they are the losers in all of this, they are the pathetic people whose insecurities have them not being able to deal with much of anything in life. Why my mother entrusted my oldest brother with her estate after she dies, I have no idea. I don't ask her about it, that's her business. But one thing has changed within me. I came to the point where I thought that I wouldn't want to fight with them over my portion of her estate, I have completely changed my mind on that. Those bastards don't treat her with the dignity, respect and love that she so freely gives to them. They sure as heck aren't getting my share and I will fight tooth and nail just because of the way they are behaving now.
Whatever. I'll get back there in the next couple of months for a 4 or 5 day stay. I will be up to 138 hours of vacation after the beginning of next month and I will have to take some time off or - I will stop accruing. I take that back, I can go as high as 160 so another month after that won't stop the accrual.
Wrote that last night. Since then, all hell broke loose. My mother did the group text thing and asked why the 2 boys that live near here could only find it within themselves to text her on her birthday? No cards, no calls, nothing, she went on and ended it with "I am very hurt".
Didn't see any replies until a couple hours later when my oldest brother said "Linda (his wife) had a birthday present for you and we planned to ask you if you want to go to dinner. You got pissy and shut her down". Yup, that's when all hell broke loose. My oldest brother has never wanted to be a part of family anyway, but his tones with mom were a bit surprsiing. I said nothing, I just sat there and read the exchange between then and it didn't end well. They appear to be doing the same thing with mom as they did with dad some 15 years ago: cut him off and haven't talked to him since.
I always wondered if they would end up doing that with mom as well. I dunno if they are or not, but my middle brother never replied to the thread. How can you live a few miles away and not even call your own mom? I would have gone over there and brought a cake with candles and took her out to dinner. My oldest brother just totally blew her off in the text exchange and that was that. I'm sorta wondering if she is giong to change the executor of her estate if/when she dies. That would be him and right now I don't trust that he will do any of her wishes. I don't get my brothers, I never have. I'm not happy with their deplorable attitudes but I am out of this one. I'm not going to rescue anyone this time. They are on their own.
Just mindblowing though. I've always played the mediator but this has gone too far. Adults acting like babies.
Well, whatever. Anyway, I got a nice run today which included going back to the Army Depot but also an old abandoned ammunition plant that was also Army long ago. The general contractor said it has been out of operation since 1972 and frankly? It definitely looked it. Roofs caving in and plants growing up through the woodwork and just completely run down. But it still was quite intriguing. You see all that stuff and try to imagine what it was like all those years ago when it was staffed with military personnel and what the walls might tell you if they could speak.
The current forecast is for thunderstorms this coming weekend. Meaning shutting down doing anything outside. Perhaps I need the break. But honestly? The hardwood floors in this place need to be treated. I don't even know how to do that as I haven't lived in a house with such since I was a single digit aged kid, but, there is a gallon jug of the stuff and the directions. Or, maybe I'll just take the weekend off, go so a movie at the local theater and veg out. I dunno. Like my mom keeps telling me, I don't have an off switch. I just get stuff in my head and I can't get it out until I do something about it. So, I pray there really is heavy rain and thunderstorms - it will nicely water the grass seed I planted and will stop me from working outside and will probably get me to do much of nothing on a weekend.
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