Friday, June 30, 2017

Dad Is In Heaven

The day finally came.
While on lunch break, I got a FB message from one of my dad's wife's son's wives.  
We have kept in touch for a while since my dad's health started going seriously bad.
The message said: "I just tried to call you". 
I knew what had happened.  I felt it.  I knew my dad had passed.
But, messaging that kinds of news to family members is lame, I must agree, she didn't say what was going on, just asked for my number.
She immediately called and let me know what was going on.  
My dad's wife had tried to call as well, but she had an old number that I haven't had in years.

So there it is.  I was on lunch break at work, and though I expected some grief, it hit me hard.  I came back to work, sitting in the parking lot thinking about how I am going to go in there to tell them I need to go home without breaking down in front of everyone.  Not really something I want to do.  But, fortunately, the manager was outside talking on the phone.  I waited for him to get off and told him what was going on.  He immediately offered his condolences, which was nice considering.  Told me to just stay on the clock and he would punch me out at 5, which was also pretty amazing considering his stance on such things.  Then told me to call on Monday - we are open on Monday, that's just the way our company works even though there will be very little to nothing going on since 4th of July is on Tuesday.  I fully expect to call him and tell him I will be in on Wednesday.  

Millie - my dad's wife- already set the memorial service for Saturday the 8th at 10am.  I know for certain no one else from my side of the family will be there.  

____________

This has been a troubling day.  But, I am glad to have so much support from so many people.

I'm looking at a 2,400 road trip.  I can't afford the pricing of flying to Phoenix and then $300 round trip ground transportation from Phoenix to Sierra Vista.  Or to Tucson - flying into there is much more expensive.  
 
I can only drive there to be a part of it.  Should I spend 3 days worth of driving back and forth to attend my dad's Memorial Service? That is a rhetorical question.  I should get there however it take me to get there.  I will tentatively leave on Thursday after work, arrive on Friday evening.  Hopefully get some kind of sleep at the hotel I already stayed in down there and have booked for that date and then, head straight back. 

Yeah, the head straight back junk may change. I wouldn't mind simply spending another night at that hotel and do nothing more than sit around contemplate things.  I just don't know about driving straight back.  I paid for that on Wednesday coming back the evening before and going straight back to work.  I'm not in my 20's or 30's anymore. 

I'm worn out.  I've been tearing up much of the day.  Thoughts of the past with dad.  Thoughts of how my brothers hate him.  I sent them a text - the same group text we all chat in- I got nothing back. They won't even acknowledge my dad in his death.

That is both saddening and very angering to me.  

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