Wednesday, June 21, 2017

The days are wearing thin on me.
My dad is - for all intents and purposes, dying.  Part of his heart doesn't work, the blood he lost from that drug the doctor prescribed him late last year which obviously didn't work as intended caused him to basically go on a downward death thrall.  My son's wedding in August.  My oldest brother sending a text today saying he wasn't going to Caleb's wedding and he is not going to either see his dad for a visit or go to "services" he called, it obviously referring to a funeral.

Getting to Sierra Vista from here is not an easy task.  I simply don't have the money to fly straight there.  Well I might have the money, but August is around the corner, meaning flying out to California and hotel stay.  And eating. And transportation. Etc Etc Etc.

The Jeep has been fixed. They finally figured out it was a valve that was basically riding in there without being mounted.  Yup, the retainers had come out, causing the thing to basically float in there.  I still don't understand why they didn't catch this in the first place. I specifically asked them about doing a compression check, of which they said passed their test. Well how the hell does it pass a compression test with a valve not seating properly?  Stuck with another $800 bill, and that was at a discounted rate.

Addler has some sort of skin issue going on.  I dunno what it is. I thought maybe mites but the stuff I bought to deal with it didn't stop him licking and scratching. It isn't fleas, so I have no clue.  Which means a vet visit.

Hours down for 4 weeks in a row until last paycheck.  This next paycheck will be well up, but the loss of the hours before that has already hit my finances and now my savings are dwindling, my checking account is at it's lowest in years and yet I am facing all of these expenses?  Am I not supposed to go see my dad? Am I supposed to skip on my son's wedding? Should I leave the dog to live in misery? I've brought my credit up in recent times but I still can't get a personal loan. The house payments being behind for so long are still hitting my credit score, it probably will for some time to come.

The only thing I have left is credit cards.  If I rack up the cards too high, the score will drop significantly until I bring the balances back down. Yet at this point, I don't see anything else in the cards.  I absolutely hate when I get hit with all kinds of stuff coming at me at once. I have money saved up for Caleb's wedding gift, I could have lowered that I guess but he called the other day. Dad, can you help out with wedding expenses?

I"m not particularly enjoying life right now with all of this coming at me.  Oh, and Caleb isn't doing tuxedos, he's doing some sort of Philippino dress called a Barong. I"ve seen them on Ebay for less than $50 bucks, so I will probably just buy one of those and whatever pants that go with it and sandals, for they aren't even going to be wearing shoes, lol, they are doing it barefoot in some sort of traditional Philippino marriage ritual.  I figure to dress in the same garb all of them are in for the fun of it.

Anyway, there is too much going on here. I can deal with it, but I don't want to.  Some of it is very depressing.  Some of it makes me angry.  My brother and his shit text today would be the cause of that.  I expect no less from either of my brothers, but when I read it on a text and see the brazenness of it, it just pisses me off. At least have the decency to word it in a polite manner, instead of coming off as some stupid redneck hillbilly bs shit talk.

One thing that is really getting at me is this: I really wanted to fly overseas this year.  Sometime this year.  That was a goal I had.  It was doable, too, until all of this came up.  In fact, I had planned on doing that in the next 2 months.  A week of flying over the ocean, visiting somewhere in Europe and then flying back.

Too much.  I'll post again soon.
























 So yesterday, I write a professionally worded intent to terminate employment, here is the advance notice you requested email to the manager...