Sunday, June 25, 2017

Dad

SO the trip to visit my dad. Space but the elongated Drive no doubt about that. However I tend to drive rather fast so the 15 hours was probably more like 12 and a half. But I started Friday night and drove 400 miles and then stopped in a small town out in the middle of nowhere. I tried to stop at a Motel 6 about 50 miles before that but they wanted $70 to stay at a Motel 6. Who pays $70 to stay at a Motel 6? I've never even heard of that. That's. I was exhausted but there's no way that I'm going to pay that much money to stay at a motel like that.

Anyway, the next day I drove the rest of the eight hundred miles or 700 or whatever it was to get there and with no small amount of trepidation went up and knocked on the door. Millie of course answer to though they do have in home Hospice Care it wasn't there at the moment. She assured me right into my dad's bedroom where they had a hospital bed set up and an oxygen machine and all kinds of stuff like that in there. My dad didn't even know who I was, was he was on some pain medication and he wasn't whites in his right mind which is saying even worse than the Alzheimers effects.

Got a chance to talk to Emily as well and she gave me some writings that my dad had saved from our side of the family that she didn't really even know who it was or anything like that. Eventually after about two two and a half hours I left period I was thinking well that wasn't as bad as it could be but it wasn't all that wonderful either since my dad just didn't seem to be all there. I got on my phone and found a hotel for $32 a night and said well that'll have to do. I got there and was absolutely shocked at how very nice the accommodations were in that price. It's summertime over here it's hot and people apparently our visiting, LOL. I liked it so much that I stayed from about 8:30 until 9 this morning Finally checked out and went back to visit my dad for a last time, likely the last time I'll ever see him alive again on this Earth. Today's visit was much better than yesterday, he was much more coherent and he wasn't on the pain medication he remembered who I was all though he had to keep asking the same questions over and over, he also realized that his memory was bad.

Penny one more to ask me if driving that far to see my dad for five hours was worth it I would give them a definitive yes. He was talking quite a bit though you had to ask him a few times to understand what he was saying and sometimes you just said oh yeah that's right when you really didn't understand what was coming out of his mouth. His old humor was intact though. His wife kept hiding him from using the word hell because he is was a minister and people that used to be under his care in the church we're looking at him I guess when they come over and visit like wow. Anyway the caretaker finally showed up and it was obviously time for me to leave as Millie was saying she would have to deal with not only the caretaker but the caretaker to come in take all his clothes off and clean him from head to toe. So I spent about another 5 minutes spitting my goodbye wishes and telling my dad how much I love him, and left.

Forgot to tell the story that he had wanted to get out of bed so badly to go play the piano! Millie finally said will you help him get into his rolling chair and push him over to the piano so that he can get it out of him? He doesn't understand that he can't really do that anymore. So we went through the process of getting him out of bed and into the chair and rolling him over there where the effects of Alzheimer's had obvious results. He kept saying strange things about his fingers in his eyes and how they weren't working properly. But he did try to play for a while! The thing that's sad about that is it was only three weeks ago that he was sitting at the piano playing very well actually.

Now on I-10 Westbound headed towards Phoenix. My son is very busy with the Salvation Army but said I could come visit him at his office where they hand out water on hot days like this. I have his pre-wedding gift for him to help him with expenses for the wedding. Since I got out of Dad's house a little bit sooner than I thought I was going to, I may hit up to Payson after visiting was Caleb, find a hotel to stay at there, and then go visit my mom up at her property tomorrow morning. Morning. I'm not sure about that one yet though.

This is like the worst time of year to be visiting Phoenix. I am not going to stay long. I have zero relationship with my brothers and I really don't want to go see the house, they keep it in maculate and spotless and I just have no desire to go back there. My brother's I didn't even have a relationship with anymore. My oldest brother called my son and told him he wasn't coming for his wedding wouldn't be visiting his dad for a visitation or a funeral and basically LOL tough luck. In my estimation he is a miserable excuse for a human. My other brother I haven't heard from in four months or so now and I don't care to hear from him. I do have some friends though in Phoenix area but I figure to see family and then head home. Perhaps I can make a trip to some other time then come down here and visit everyone. My mind really isn't into visiting people and having fun and all that, not after the visitation with my father. Anyway I have been doing this on a Google tab and it seems to work pretty good for voice dictation.

Fitful sleep. I could easily have left out of here at 4am and been 200 plus miles down the road by now.  Just need to get home and get a nig...