Friday, June 24, 2011

Friday 6/24/2011

Friday

Came back to the shop yesterday to find one AC unit "barely working", as it was described and the other? Out. Fortunately, the one that is working is also the one that cools the area where I am usually at if I am working on the computer. : )

I guess they are going to replace the other one, even though we are moving out in 3 months. Of course, who wants to sit in the hottest 3 months of the year without AC?

Today is inventory day. I have one delivery and that's it. I do not participate in inventory counts because - headquarters says drivers aren't allowed to do it. I have never heard a reasonable explanation of why, I don't really care to be honest. You work all day today and part of Saturday, but you don't get to keep the hours as you give it up the next week.

So the weekend is almost here. Next weekend is 3 days off, looking forward to that one. Dunno about this weekend excepting that I will most probably go to church on Sunday morning.

I'm still looking for a handgun, more specifically, some version of a 9mm. They're effective enough and the price tags are better. There are numerous online auctions, but I am looking at a pawn shop's auctions that is just down the road from me. They don't sell their guns in their store, they only sell them online.

Hmm, well I was going to get into something but my time is almost up. It can wait.

G'day.

ben

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Thursday 6/23//2011

Thursday

I spoke too soon.

Both AC's in the store I work at are out. I unlocked the door, walked in this morning and was very surprised at how warm it still was in here from yesterday. It is at least somewhat cool this morning so I opened up the entire build to try and cool it back down a bit.

Fortunately for me, there is a slew of things in the truck routing system to do today and the AC in the semi definitely works, I will be working out of my cool office that happens to sit both on air and 18 wheels. Air ride seat; air ride cab; air ride tractor and air ride trailer, to more specific about the riding on air bit.

I was reading with interest the aircraft show in Paris. I'm completely neutral about Airbus, I neither like that company nor dislike it, I just root for Boeing because, of course, it's made in the USA and creates a LOT of jobs over here. Apparently Airbus has scored with it new, fuel economical jet that allegedly gives 15% better fuel efficiency than the Boeing 737.

Boeing, obviously, is going to have to answer to stay competitive, but it hardly means they're going out of business. They received almost 5 billion worth of orders on that 747-8, a plane I hope someday I will get to take a ride in (and not be part of a National Geographic Air Crash Investigation show). Yes, folks, let a plane fly around all over the place for a while, a new type of plane that is, and make sure that it isn't going to be plunging in any oceans or putting deep gouges into the earth from a nose dive into the ground......

Maybe my next vacation should just be an airplane trip to one side of the country and turn around and come back. I haven't flown in years and I really miss it! Okay, a trip to some east coast town, take a few days of touring whatever town and then make the flight back.
June 23, 2011 5:59 AM
Anonymous said...
I don't mean to be a knee-jerk reactor, but several months ago I heard from a variety of sources to "get out of stocks" by summer. I won't be removing all of it, but I am definitely toning it down on the aggressive front as even more doom and gloomers, alleged professionals, are predicting either a double-dip recession or even entering a depression.

The housing situation certainly isn't offering any help in any of it, that's for sure. Which reminds me, I need to make a request at work for my W-2 from 2008. Modify the return and get cash back. Sorta like an ATM, put the paperwork in and get the money back out : )
That reminded me of it because I want to increase my cash "stockpile" in case things get really rough, I have something to fall back on. Not that I don't now, I have hardly been blowing the return I got back from the IRS excepting paying down credit card debt.

Ummm, it's going to be 109 today. It got up to 116 yesterday, at least where I live, usually it gets warmer where I'm at than it does at Phoenix Sky Harbor airport, where they apparently take the readings. I'm only 4 or 5 miles from the airport, but at a completely different elevation, which I guess may have something to do with it, I don't know.


Who knows. The new chihuahua? Well, Lynnette and that dog are in love with each other, it was as I thought it would be. I will have no responsibility for that dog excepting I will buy it the dog food and give it it's shots. The dog food bill for a Chihuahua? lol. Buy a 20 pound bag and I bet it will last 2 months.

Umm, the work day is almost here and thank God Almighty for it, because it's WARM in this building!! It has cooled down a bit with the doors open, but this is ridiculous.

Oh, diet: I ate once yesterday. Yup. Just once. It wasn't even that big of a meal. I had a couple of glasses of skim milk, a lot of water and a small amount of M&M's. I admit the cheat, but only because I was hungry at work and there was nothing to eat. After I ate about 8 of those things I quit. Even with that, I did not consume many calories yesterday and I intend on doing that same thing again today, sans the M&M's.

G'day.

ben

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Wednesday 6/22/2011

Wednesday

Sooooo.

I'm sitting at home, minding my own business when the guy with the girlfriend and her daughter living there comes in. The daughter? They took back to Tucson this last weekend. Apparently, the girlfriend stayed as well.

This guy comes up with a different story about this kind of thing every time I see him, literally. I am not a big fan.

He can't get approved for his own apartment. Well, he can, but they are dives. Think: Drug dealers; meth users; punks; thieves; gangs. I could go right now and rent a 2 bedroom apartment for $399.00 per month, electric included.

Lol. If you were to see the place you would understand why I am chuckling. A scene right out of that movie where all of New York is made into a giant prison, can't remember the name of it. I'd rather rent an old, disgusting, beat-up mobile home than live in a place like that. Foregone conclusion you better own a handgun if you want to actually rent there and LIVE there. Emphasis on the word live, or more like, staying alive.

He doesn't want any part of that scenario, either. Oh, don't forget about the noise, at a place like that. Like, all night long?

Suddenly, the large bedroom in my house is much more appealing to him than he thought. Ahhh, yes.

Ummm, 113 is the expected high today. In case you didn't know, that's getting pretty warm. This is when I am very glad that I have AC in the house, the car, the semi and the building at work. Yes, I will spend half the day (at least) out in the heat, but I will be able to get back in to a cooler temp after each place I go and cool back down again.

Arizona's fires: Officials are saying that they are going to burn until the rains comes. Well, the rains ain't a comin', yet anyway. Not that time of year, unfortunately. Doesn't mean they won't continue to try to put them out, but the forests are dried up right now and they, again, should all be completely shut down. But that's just one man's opinion. Not too much to ask, though, IMO, since all of these fires were human caused.

Umm, well sales people are already calling and I am not even on the clock yet. Gag. Getting offa here for a few minute early start.

G'day.

ben

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

How Hard Can This BE?!!!!

So, I tried renewing my Dane's county licenses online. That was yesterday.
The county has them on record as being unaltered, they charge you WAY more in fees for unaltered dogs.
I am not paying that fee because I shouldn't HAVE to by THEIR own rules.

The site gave me the option to remove the unaltered status, and I went through all of that, but in the end? The unaltered fees wouldn't go away.

I had spoken with someone on the phone about this awhile back, just "check the box" and you don't have to pay the higher fee.

So, today, actually I got home just now, I decided to get this over with. I went TO the county east side animal shelter to pay the fees, get the new tags or whatever they do and be done with it. Nothing doing, apparently.

I told the lady at the counter that I wanted to renew their licenses, had tried online but it wouldn't remove the unaltered status on either of them. She asked me if I had proof that they had been altered. No, but, I replied, I had it done through YOUR (the county's) Big Fix program, surely you can look it up through there if nothing else.

No. She asked me for some other paper which I didn't have and don't have anywhere.

She then asked me if they were outside. I gave her a startled look. "You think I'm going to bring my dogs down here to sit in a hot car in 108 degree temperature outside which will get up to around 135 degrees inside the car?!!". This didn't phase her in the slightest. Well, I can't do anything for you then. I then brought up the phone discussion with the person that told me that I simply had to check the box and that was that, no proof, just my word for it.

Well, you can do that through the MAIL, but you can't do it in PERSON. I can't imagine that there would be anything but a look of disbelief on my face. "What POSSIBLE difference can it make whether I say in a letter that I have had them altered or if I show up, IN PERSON, and TELL you to your FACE that they have been altered?"!!!

She shrugged her shoulders again. I then asked to speak to management, as this woman seemingly had the intelligence of a gnat and the personality of a rock. "We don't have any management here", she curtly replied.

So, these people are taking cash, credit card payments and checks in but there is NO management there, ROFL!!! I felt the heat coming on, I was beginning to get angry with the stupid statements this woman was making and I walked out.

Quest not over, no, but for today it is. I just got done writing them an email and we'll see where that goes. I tried calling but it is already closed. I will have that discussion tomorrow and I doubt at this point that it will be a particularly pleasant conversation, but I'll let them decide whether they want to use some common sense here or just continue to act like a bunch of idiots.

Tomorrow is the church special service. I am not sure if I am going or not. It doesn't start until 7:00 pm and my guess is that a service starting at 7 probably ain't getting over at 9, meaning getting home late - for me - and getting to bed late - for me anyway. I will have to cross that bridge tomorrow, if I feel like it, I will go, if not I will (hopefully) show up for round 3 of Sunday services.

G'nite.

ben

Tuesday 6/21/2011

Tuesday
Here comes the heat.

108 today, 113 tomorrow.
Electric usage already going up, it will shoot through the roof after it goes past 110.

Which reminds me, I totally forgot about getting a solar sunscreen setup for that kitchen door.

Too much on the brain, I guess, such as the Willow fire, not to be confused with the Wallow fire. Why they would name 2 fires that are currently burning down Arizona forest at the same time with names that are that close together? No clue, but I am sure it will be cause' for confusion.

The Willow fire is burning up on the Mogollon Rim, which is also where my son is at. However, the fire is 25 miles away from him and let's hope this fire is contained quickly and no evacuations will have to take place. My mom called me yesterday asking if she needed to go get Caleb.

Lol. Let's not panic, shall we? I told her I would look up the fire on the internet and see what's going on and make a determination as to whether to even call the camp or just let it go. At this point, it's let it go material. They already have 7 fire crews working on it with bulldozers and a helicopter.

However, I do believe the forests should simply be shut down, at least in Arizona. So far, all of these fires have been started by humans. Take out the human factor and that's the end of the problem. If people can't be responsible with camp fires, don't even allow camping until the rains come.

My search to find a solar water heater setup has ended. I am not paying 4, 5 or even more thousand dollars for solar water heating, regardless of the savings. I found something else that might be intriguing, though:

"Known as hybrids, they have a conventional electric storage heater paired with a heat pump that extracts heat from the air and uses it to help heat the water."

So, that will be what I look into next.

Umm, time is running out. Lots of interruptions going on here as well. A mad salesman who wants to know, basically, why the world doesn't stop when he speaks and everyone doesn't do as he commands.

Hmmm, I'll have to think about for a fraction of a millisecond. Oh, yes, because I don't worship man and especially don't necessarily even want to listen to a person that is so full of himself, the world wouldn't be the same without him around?!!

G'day.

ben

Monday, June 20, 2011

Monday 6/20/2011

Monday

I was speaking rather loudly 2 nights ago with Lynnette, in my kitchen, about a particular tenant that has decided that paying as much as a month late is, somehow, acceptable. I received half the month's later on that night : )

The, uhhh, weather isn't helping with getting these fires out. High winds are never a good thing when it comes to fires.

Just buzzing around here, I am slowly coming to the idea/conclusion that I might go to the special church service on Wednesday.

The end of next week brings a 3 day weekend. I am still attempting to decide what, if anything, I want to do for a vacation this year. Even if I do nothing, I am still going to take a week off, either in July or August, the best time of year to get off of work and either stay inside with AC on or get out of town.

That's it. I am going to read the news and see if anything interesting shows up, such as Governor Perry's quest to get into the presidential race. I don't see "The" contender needed out there to get Obama out. Chris Christie would be my first choice, but he was on yet another show on Sunday stating that he didn't feel he was ready for it yet. Maybe, but the nation needs someone like him to get this out of control spending spree under control.

Whatever the case, there is an order in the truck routing system, meaning something to do this morning and that's a good thing.

G'day.

ben

Sunday, June 19, 2011

I got an email just a few minutes ago.
My son.
He didn't want to discuss the dead dog - which I don't blame him, I had just written him an email about it since that dog has been in the house since he was 8 years old. He wished me a happy Father's day, said all campers had "been saved" and that he only got a half day off today and it was almost over.

I was happy to get a few lines from him. A short phone call would have been a bit nicer, but I'll take what I can get. Umm, I will say that even when I was traipsing around the country as a missionary, I still called my mother once a week. I got a hold of my dad whenever I could. Call me a momma's boy, but I think it important to stay in contact with whatever family that wants to stay in contact with you. I could not, however, call from Mexico so there were extended periods when I couldn't call home. There was also a lot of problems I found out later that were created by it.

My oldest brother, at one point in time, was very upset with me at a Christmas get-together because his company didn't know where I was and had their "people" out searching for me. This made no sense to me, whatsoever. I had absolutely nothing to do with that company, had never worked for them and therefore had no clue what he was talking about.

The time in reference was a period of an extended period of travelling around Mexico, preaching, where only a few individuals that I knew had a semblance of the general area I was in. I wasn't trying to isolate myself, the circumstances extended themselves to cause that situation to be created. They were, apparently, attempting to find me IN Mexico. Lol. If they had found me, what were they going to do? Tell me to go back to America? I would have told them to bug off.

I don't know how they would have found me. I was in areas without electricity, telephones, cellphones, even running water.

Frankly, I loved those periods of my life doing things like that and I really want to get back into it.

You don't think that I am starting to go back to church again for a calculated reason? My missionary days and the days of doing some fairly wild stuff through the church locally has me longing for such again. I am leading a rather boring existence and it's time to change that. I will undoubtedly be going to church on Wednesday for the special guest speaker. I believe in current day prophecy, mostly because I have operated in such and have seen such first hand.

I have 2 completely conflicting things going on inside of me and it's a battle, to say for sure. It's all about church and the things that happened and the thing that wants to happen in my current attempt to get back into the mainstream of things.

I'm just saying that I am dealing with a great, internal conflict.

The ending of that conflict? Well I'm not there yet. But it should be an interesting ride, if nothing else!

Church

It was far more of a struggle to actually go into that church today than it was last week. I actually drove past the church, down a residential street, into another one, etc etc etc while going through this ridiculous mind-game/war about church, pastors and the abuse of people in churches, in general.

I forced myself to pull into the parking lot, where I saw with the car idling and AC on, of course, for several minutes before I shut the thing off, got out and walked through the doors.

2 individuals were there, both greeted me warmly. My issue isn't about this church, it is about my history with church and the situation with my ex-wife and my now ex-pastor. It has toyed with my senses about this particular subject for years now.

This whole scenario may sound ridiculous for a reader with a totally unattached sense of view of the situation, but, so it is with all of us in different arenas of life experience: there are issues in all of our lives that we probably have foul memory of and possibly haven't actually passed through the dark tunnel to get to the light at the other end.

I'm somewhere in the darkness of the tunnel and frankly, I don't see the light at the end of it yet, but I figure somewhere along this 4 week commitment of going to church, I might at least see a faint glimpse of it.

Well, I entered the "sanctuary" what they simply refer to as the auditorium and quickly found a seat and sat down. Oh, I will freely admit I timed this out: the service was only a couple of minutes from starting before I got in there. Yet, fully 3 people approached me and called me by name, remembering my name from the week before, that was impressive to me. But I still felt and feel completely out of place and totally uncomfortable there. Which is none of their doings or fault, this is my own issue and I am trying to work through it.

An hour of worship and a bit over an hour of preaching and praying. A card given out to all the dads with a magnetic strip for your refrigerator and a $5 gift card to Starbucks. Okay, I sort of liked that. Did I give in the offering? I don't know that I have ever consciously decided to go into a church service without the intention of giving at least something. Last week, I had my offering out but I wasn't paying attention and they were done with it in less than 2 minutes. This week I did not let the opportunity pass by and I made sure it made it into the basket.

So, I left. The pastor stopped me on my way out. Wasn't really looking for that kind of interaction, either. We exchanged pleasantries and he said he recognized me from somewhere. I also recognized him during the last and this service but could only get a faint glimpse of where I had seen him: on a stage somewhere with a bunch of other pastors and other types of clergy, it was undoubtedly a conference. I haven't been to a conference in at least 7 years, though, so I don't know and he couldn't place it, either.

That was it. I will try and force myself back next week. I might even try to force myself there on Wednesday, when they are having some sort of special speaker in.

My mind was totally off of the Father's Day aspect after church and I had forgotten that I had planned to have a nice steak somewhere, instead coming home and making an open faced chicken platter with gravy. Tasty and didn't even think about the steak until I started writing this entry. No loss. Red meat isn't good for you, right? lol

I haven't heard from Caleb, a bit disappointing considering he's my only child and it is Father's Day. A 2 sentence paragraph in an email would be better than nothing. I called my dad at about 7:30 this morning and we had a nice conversation.

That's it. These last 2 Sunday's of church have been - unbelievably - such an inner, emotional turmoil that I find myself drained at the end of the day rather than rejuvenated after going to an uplifting church service. I'm going to have to get past this, somehow.........

Sunday 6/19/2011

Happy Father's Day to all the great dads out there who are raising children of whatever age!

Okay, it's not a big holiday, but it's worth noting and giving a moment's time to. I am going to treat myself to a dinner that I would not normally partake of just because. My son turned 18 last month, graduated High School, is working, going to go to college. I think I can say I did my part to help him get there.

One thing of notice that has happened since all the police visits to both mine and my neighbor's house. The barking dogs? I rarely hear them at all now. This has been my complaint since the beginning. It has been my complaint every time the police came over to my house after they were called by these stupid neighbors inventing stories and making up lies to, apparently, get me into trouble with the law.

They put up sheets of galvanized metal, leaned them against their side of the fence and keep their dogs on the other side of the house now. I hardly ever hear a peep out of those dogs at this point. Those people apparently thought I would just back down and "go away" and in the case of a person like me, nothing could be further from the truth.

I am just as entitled to peaceful enjoyment of my property as anyone else and there is NO way that police coming over to my house with attitudes after hearing complete, fabricated lies from my neighbors were then or are going to now intimidate me into backing down. If anything, it just gets me that much more the riled up. I still can't believe those police officers reaching over the gate, removing the lock and entering my back yard. I'm not sure they had the legal right to do that, especially considering there is a doorbell button out there and further that I have come out every single time they have showed up to "discuss" this situation with them. One thing is for sure: they completely stopped both entering my back yard and even coming over here once I called the precinct and complained about what I considered to be borderline police harassment.

The "only" problem left is the 2 idiots down the street: the neighborhood "bully" and his buddy across the street, the 30-something year old still living with his parents and a meth-head. However, even that situation has diminished greatly after I threatened to go to court and get an injunction against both of them. It's quite easy to do, too. I have resolved that if they offer up one more round of bull**** to me, I am going to head down to the JOP's court room and file for injunctions against both of them. Oh, the situation also reduced exponentially after I called the police and told them that the bully had threatened my life over.......cats.

So that's my neighborhood update. The place across the street is up for sale and if history is any proof of sale-ability, it will be in that condition for some time to come. A person with money to spend could buy that property and sit on it until the housing situation recovers -that could be years of course - and then resell the property for 4 or 5 or even more times what they paid for it.

That is, of course, the problem: you would have to sit on that property for probably years before it ever turned a profit. I was mildly interested in it as a rental property, but the house would take too much work to repair it into rentable condition. Only if they were offering a truly smoking deal on the place would I consider buying it.

Another option I have in this neighborhood is to pay up the taxes that some property owners don't pay. After 3 years, you can basically take the property as yours if they don't pay up. If they do pay up, they have to pay you back plus some absurd interest rate. Either way, you get something in return for your "investment".

I called my dad this morning and wished him a happy Father's Day. He sounds like he is doing well and he and his wife are settling into their new living arrangement in Tucson. Tucson is a relatively short drive and I can start visiting them on day trips here and there. Probably about 100 miles from my house, maybe a bit more. The speed limit once you get out of town is 75mph, which you can push to 80 and from what I have seen, DOT won't bother with you. They could, of course, but I haven't experienced that. The point is that I can be there in less than an hour and a half. It is not, however, a "beautiful" drive of any sort. It is nothing but desert from here to there, excepting Picacho Peak, which is an interesting mountain jutting up out of the desert floor that has some history of being the scene of some war conflict, well here is the copied and pasted text:

"Picacho Peak’s most noted historic event occurred on April 15, 1862, when Confederate and Union scouting parties met in the Battle of Picacho Pass during the Civil War. This was the largest Civil War clash to take place in Arizona."

As for my deceased doggy, I am pretty much over it already, usually doesn't take me long to get over the death of a dog, even if I have had it for a decade or more. Lynnette - not so easy. We were discussing getting another small doggy - however, this dog would be their's, not mine and if they ever left, they would either have to take the dog with them or I would find a new home for it. I do not want another 4th doggy. In my current range of dogs, once the 2 Danes die out - just being realistic here - the most dogs I will ever want at one time again is 2. 1 is okay, but when I'm not home, dogs tend to entertain each other instead of getting into trouble digging up things and basically engaging in property destruction out of boredom. If I get a dog from the Humane Society, you can always take it back, even years later, that way I am not stuck with a dog that is not mine and I have never really gotten to know.

Church starts in 45 minutes and yes, I intend on going. I am still not very comfortable with it, at all to be quite honest, but I am making the attempt with as good as attitude as I can muster and hope my mind frame changes about all of it. I promised myself to go 4 consecutive Sundays in a row and unless something happens to change that, I intend on keeping the self-made promise. The church is a 5 minute drive from here and is very lax on dress - people showing up in blue jeans and T shirts. I don't have a problem with others doing that, per-se, but it really isn't my style. I like to dress up for church, but today? Maybe for just one time in my life, I might go in blue jeans but have a nice shirt on.

With that, I bid you a........

G'day.

ben

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Comet Is In Doggy Heaven

This was much harder than I thought.
Although not my most favorite dog on earth, I started remembering some of the good times in camping with him and going roller blading with that little dog keeping up a very fast pace.

He didn't offer any resistance. He was ready to go. That made it a little easier, but the memories made it difficult. He just laid there. He hadn't eaten in over a week.

The staff was ever-so-good to us. I took Lynnette since she has been taking care of him. They didn't make us wait, they immediately took us into a room and instead of having to pay at the counter after it was over, they took the payment in the exam room. I was very good with that, by the time you start walking out of that place, there are probably going to be some tears and you probably aren't really going to want to have to deal with it and being in front of other people would be very uncomfortable in that kind of frame of mind.

The vet came in - it was the perfect person with the perfect personality for the job. Probably a bit pricier than other vets, but their staff is so good there it is worth a few extra dollars to have the best experience you can considering the circumstances.

Comet. He was 15 years old. I got him when he was 5. He was brought up from the streets of Guadalajara through an adoption agency that has an agreement with the Mexican government to take stray dogs off the street and bring them here. They pick up the kinds of breeds that are very popular here - saving the dog from certain death, probable starvation and giving a person or family the chance to get a breed of dog that is usually very pricey at a very low fee comparably. I am not in the mood to do anything, though a family just came over to pick up some pond plants that I was either giving away or going to have to chuck into the trash, it had grown too big. I didn't really feel like doing that, but I had forgotten the ad I had placed and they wanted to come get them.

Life goes on. Lynnette is heart broken, she grew to love that dog and they spent a lot of time together. I guess I can say fortunately, getting over the death of a dog is much easier than getting over the death of a loved one.

ben

Time To Put Him Down

I pretty much am not into seeing dogs suffer when they are near the end of life. My little Rat Terrier is at the end of his life. He hasn't eaten in a week and he is definitely going down. I haven't actually been taking care of him in recent times, the lady in the trailer fell in love with that dog and he has been staying with them. She just came in crying and that's enough for me. They have been talking about his health for 2 weeks now, but obviously we are beyond the point of no return.

I have to admit that this is the only small dog I have ever owned and I found out that I am really not a big fan of small dogs. They don't tend to want to listen too much and they are very difficult to train.

This will be probably the only time I have ever had to have a dog put down that it won't really affect me that much. It is definitely affecting them, in the trailer outside.

So, in a little over 2 hours, I am taking him to the vet to get this over with. The unpleasant side to owning dogs is when their life is obviously over and you have to deal with it. It isn't exactly cheap anymore, either. The shot is $110 and the cremation is $136. I wouldn't even do the cremation but I have no desire, whatsoever, to deal with the body after it is vacated of life and therefore, I will pay the extra money to get it done. I would have taken him to the pound if I had known sooner and it would have been much cheaper - same thing lower price - but it is Saturday and they aren't doing that stuff today. I can't just let the dog suffer until Monday, the only humane thing to do is get it over with.

ben

Saturday 6/18/2011

I was checking my Capital One card status - I paid the thing down to zero balance as soon as I got my income tax refund. They are offering me a new card, this one gives cash back for use at gas stations and grocery stores. Well I frequent both and the current card I have with them doesn't give me anything back. My Chevron card gives me some cash back, it's up to a whopping $14, lol.

I have gotten to the point where I can say I am pretty responsible user of credit. If my back's against the wall and I need to use it, I will, otherwise I pretty much don't use it at all. I figured I would elevate this to a new level and see if I can continue with the "responsible" aspect of it by getting the new card with the rewards and using it as often as possible at gas stations and grocery stores and paying the balance immediately. Sorta following in my mother's footsteps, who has several cards she uses every month for the rewards aspect and then pays them to zero balance when the bills show up.

The "better" card was approved earlier and my credit limit was raised by $200. I am not sure if they cancel the existing card to give me the new one or what happens with that, but it's at zero balance so I don't have to worry about it. I have another card that I would like to get rid of and am considering doing just that. It has an extremely low limit on it - for that card I had to make a deposit into their bank and that deposit is what the credit limit is. I have had the card for a while now, yes, but the low credit limit is probably hurting my credit score at least a bit.

My Fingerhut account is slowly going down - I am not going to pay that one off all at once, but I am making larger monthly payments on it. My Chevron card balance is less than $100 and I intend on paying that one down, too. Now that my house payment is current, I want to see about getting my credit score up - at least into the 700 range. I have never had it there, the highest I have ever gotten it was up to 660 I think it was. You REALLY pay for having a lower credit score in higher interest, especially when considering buying a car. My current auto loan is still 2-1/2 years I think it is before it is paid off. By the time it is time to buy another one, I want the score up there. I have found that I am totally missing having a pickup truck ever since the head on collision in 2005 (not my fault, a guy ran a red light while I was making a left hand turn on a green arrow) and I would like to get another one.

Something maybe 5 or 6 years old that has less than 75,000 miles on it. In owning a home and not having a way to transport things when buying them, well, it creates problems. Rent a truck or try to borrow one or the occasional use of the work truck if I happen to be coming by the house. The only solution I can come up with right now is to get a small utility trailer and install a hitch on the car, a thing I really do not want to do. Just for one example, one bedroom needs a new queen sized mattress. I have no way of getting it here unless I pay someone to deliver it or go rent a pickup from say, Home Depot.

Anyway, today is allegedly Caleb's day off, I am hoping to hear from him either phone or email. Actually, I would rather hear from him tomorrow since tomorrow is Father's Day : ) By now he has figured out the real schedule versus what he told everyone 2 weeks ago. He doesn't necessarily pay attention to detail on many things, a trait he certainly did not learn from his father. I would that he would pay a bit more attention to the things he is getting into and ask more detailed questions, but, that's me, not him, lol. Not everyone is geared to scrutinizing things and analyzing things to the nth degree, I am definitely one of those people and he is definitely not one of those people. The only thing I can say is that characteristic has certainly helped me avoid getting scammed and roped into situations that would have ended up costing me.

Tomorrow is, of course, Sunday and last week I went to church for the first time in a long time. I talked myself into going at least 4 consecutive Sundays. I'm still in that mode, but, when tomorrow comes and it's time to take a shower and get dressed to go? I make no guarantees.

As for a vacation, I am having a "heated" internal debate over it. I dearly want to go somewhere, preferably out of state. Preferably near a beach (and more specifically, a beach that doesn't have oil floating all over the place). Going alone is a bit unpalatable, but it isn't the end of the world. I am one of those people that can entertain myself - easily I might add - if there is no-one else around to share the moment with. I was certainly re-tuned to the idea of a cruise ship adventure after reading Fin's extensive recounting of one of his trips. I love white water river rafting, but that is an adventure best done with friends. A trip to the ocean/beach would be perfect. A trip to the east coast would also suffice, I have one invitation to Boston - an ex tenant is living in a house right on the beach and yes, he has sent me pics to prove it.

In reality? I would love to tour Italy, Scotland or London. My grandmother was from Londer, I am part Scottish and I have had an infatuation with Italy for a long period of time now after meeting numerous missionaries that were from there and telling in great detail some of the things to be seen in their land.

This weekend: Nothing on tap. The family that was going to rent an apartment keeps getting turned down because of bad credit. I am guessing they are going to have to look for a bit "lessor" place to live if they really want out of here. I would be going crazy if I were attempting to live with a girlfriend AND her daughter in the same room. I gave up on the ads to re-rent the room, I have no definitive date given by them now and they are talking about staying until the end of the month. Not a big fan of this kind of situation, no clue when they are leaving and no clue when I can think about re-renting the room, meaning wait until the last minute to try and get someone in there.

Amazingly, I ended up keeping most of the OT hours that I got from a very busy work week. That's because on Friday, when I should have left very early, there were 2 deliveries and then a return/pickup from a job site came over the wire and the contractor wanted it done that day. So, I ended up in REAL OT time, not just coming up to 40 hours worth. It will boost my next paycheck by about $140 minus taxes, which is quite fine by me.

Umm, this entry is getting long, time to end it. Gotta go outside and clean out the pond filters.

G'day.

ben

Friday, June 17, 2011

Friday 6/17/2011

Another announcement of the same nature as of the other day's entry:

ARIZONA IS ON FIRE

The "Monument" fire is burning out of control, the Wallow fire is starting to see some containment - but damage already done, the Horseshoe 2 fire and I believe there are some smaller fires.

The question is, what is this place going to look like after our "pristine" forests are all burnt up?

The next question, at least for me, is: is there any validity to the numerous statements coming from all over the place that the forest is being mismanaged and has been mismanaged for some time now? This relates to various lawsuits filed that basically shut down logging in numerous forests, which, in turn and according to these people, eliminated the work that those loggers did to clear out forests and thin them.

The statements are that that forests are too thick - too many trees and that's what is causing these fires to be able to propogate so quickly.

It will be interesting to see what, if anything, becomes of this in the politcal circus arena.

Call 911 my @$$, changing the subject, if I see a kid or a pet in a car that has been left unattended, I'm busting out the window of that car and THEN I'll call the police. A local news story - police warning parents and pet owners to NOT leave them in a hot car. The proof was in the pudding: they had a car with the windows closed, the temp inside that car got up to over 140 degrees.

I've already busted out a window once and I'll do it again if it comes to it. The car owner isn't going to say ANYTHING to me about it, either. 10 kids have already died in hot cars this year - though none in AZ according to this story.

Well, I am over 7 hours over on hours this week. That puts me at not showing up for work today, although, lol, obviously I am going to work, in fact I am there now writing this before I log in. I imagine a short day cause they aren't going to want me going over 40. That would put me at getting off at 11:00am at the latest.

Anyway, have a great day!

ben

Thursday 6/16/2011

Thursday

I was thinking that I would get off work early today, but the truck routing system doesn't seem to agree with that thought. There is a lot to do in there, certainly enough to keep me busy until I get off at my normal time, maybe longer than that.

Not that I WANT to get off early.

I was just reading about a house that a couple bought that was infested with snakes. Literally. Like hundreds or even thousands of them. As bad as the story was described - them trying to live in the house and not being able to rid it of the infestation - one wonders how they could have missed the snakes to begin with. Even the mortgage they signed said there are "snakes".

I don't get why people don't check things out when they are buying real estate. I have seen it many times over. Plenty of real estate in these parts that is trashed and in need of a lot of repair before anyone could live in any of it.

Which is great if you know about it before you buy it and you get a smoking deal on the place and you have calculated the expense of repairing it. But people seem to get another set of eyes when they go to buying property or used or even new cars.

Do you know what detracts me from buying a new car? Prices are good right now and so are payments. The problem is, people don't think about the insurance costs. In many cases, the monthly insurance premium is going to be far more than the car payment itself.

The property across the street from me is for sale. I had thought about making an offer, but the house is in a shambles. This isn't 3 weekends and it's fixed, this is freaking tear out the walls and floor and start from scratch material. I don't have buyer's eyes anymore. I may have had them at a younger age, but signing on the dotted line and then realizing what you have gotten yourself into has smacked me in the face enough times. I mean, if they wanted to sell the property across the street for 5k, I would jump all over it. The property will eventually regain it's value - without any house on it. Meaning it will be worth around 70k whenever the housing market comes back up.
June 16, 2011 5:59 AM
Anonymous said...
I know, it's probably years off before that ever happens. Anyway, I have only seen one person looking at that house and even talked with him for a few minutes. He has been looking to buy in my neighborhood for some time now, has looked at a dozen different properties but - who knows what the problem is. Probably financing. Not like there are beautiful, gorgeous homes in my neighborhood. There are some kempt properties yes, but - this isn't rich man's land, that's for sure.

I can't find one year's worth of W-2, so I am going to have to bite the bullet, pay the $10 fee and have my work send me a copy of it. I want that money! Tax money, that is, and I don't want to wait until next year when April 15th deadline looms and I am scrambling to get the info together.

I did see the guy that was arguing with his girlfriend come through last night and I stopped him in the kitchen. He obviously didn't want to talk, I couldn't have cared less. "I don't appreciate arguing and fighting in my house and I don't want to hear it again". I was that blunt about it and I would do that with ANYONE starting that much s*** in my house. He replied they are only there 2 more days. I don't care if you're here 2 more minutes, I don't want arguing, fighting, berating and all that kind of S*** going on in my house, thank you.

It won't happen again, was all I heard. I step on the toes that need stepping on.

The heat has been somewhat merciful for a June. It hit 110 yesterday, but today and the rest of the week are going to be cooler. Low 100's it looks like. That really makes a difference on how much is being spent on keeping my house cooled. Figure July to fire it up, but still, I'll take a June that is much cooler than last June anyday.

Well, work day is almost here. Lots to do and that makes a work day go by very quickly.

G'day.

ben

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Perplexing

Got off work today and decided to do the mountain hike - even if 108 degrees outside. Hot climb, but it felt good anyway. Did almost 30 minutes of that. I can't go any longer than that without carrying water with me - so - I am going to get a canteen or something so that I can do a 45 minute to 1 hour climb. The gym is okay, but nature is better. I have given up on my manager finding his MP3 player so I am going to have to buy a new one or maybe find one on Craigslist. My objection to the gym is the horrific music they play in that place. It doesn't motivate me to want to do anything but - leave.

Got home and found out the family finally got approved for their own house to rent, they are leaving on Friday if "all goes well". The guy then informed me that he had a "body in the van outside". That's just gross. I know it's his job and all, but crazy. I asked about the heat, if it's 108 outside, it will get 130 inside that van. He didn't know but he had it in there to take it to the airport at 8:00 - it is being flown to Guatemala. I therefore assumed the body had been embalmed and that was that.

So, anyway, a strange phenomenon ensues. A person cooking a store-bought, frozen lasagna. I have cooked those before, though not any time recently, lasagna and a diet don't mix unless you are referring to the Weight Watcher's version, not near as tasty as the "real" thing but it will have to do.

You see, they all come with cooking directions. Put the thing in there for X number of hours. Well, this person would come into the kitchen, open up the oven, pulled the sliding oven rack out and stick a thermometer into the lasagna. Note that that air conditioning is on, cranking away, attempting to keep it cool in here - well, it does a fine job of that actually, no problems there - but watching this occur over and over began to get a bit disconcerting. The oven would be left open a minimum of 60 seconds and even longer. Is this a big deal? Well, to me, not a huge deal, but let's review: Leaving the oven door open means all that heat escapes out of the oven. Meaning once it is closed again, it will take a while to get back up to the preset temperature. Further, the heat is escaping into the house. Meaning the AC system will have to deal with that heat. I just see dollar signs floating out of the oven when I see that kind of thing going on.

Especially that many times. I didn't say anything, but it got me to thinking. Should I come up with a set of rules, regulations and "best practices" when people move into my house? Should there be a mini-manual of common sense things that you do and don't do? It didn't take me long to come to the answer: no. Probably, most people aren't going to read the thing and secondly, even if they do, if it is person inclined to do things their own way, they aren't going to care.

I stopped runnning ads for the room. I will start up again when I know for sure that there is a sure exit date. The room will have to be cleaned and the bed mattress in that room needs to be replaced. Not too keen on spending money on such things right now, but to make that room rent-able, that mattress is history.

Well, the lasagna saga ended and that was that.

I then directed my attention to 2 things. First, I am an avid fan of the Air Crash Investigation series that National Geographic puts out and I watch different episodes on YouTube rather frequently. I will be through all of them eventually. I found another one and started playing it. But then I remembered that this summer, I want solar sunscreen on the sliding glass door - something I mentioned in another recent entry. I started making phone calls. Ace Hardware Will install the sunscreen on your existing door. Well mine is broken, it's bent. They said they don't carry them but could order one in. I assumed that meant a higher price than I could get one somewhere else.

I started looking online for companies that sell such and realized that probably, Home Depot sells them. Sure enough. I am going to go over tomorrow and see what they have and if they have them with solar screen installed, or if they install it there, or if I can just get the frame. Or even get the frame with regular screening and take it to Ace and get the solar screen installed instead. My kitchen is heating up - again of course - because of the western sun beating on that giant, glass door.

The story with the tenants? I am not a big fan of 3 people living in 1 room and this situation did not start out that way. First it was him, then the girlfriend and then it was the girlfriend's 10 year old daughter, who has been here about a month now. 2 people I can deal with, 3 I think is too much. Too much strain on the household and available resources, not to mention the usage of everything that costs money. Try to find a single person this time that isn't thinking about having someone move in with them.

I was going to end this here, but - drama has struck yet again in the BenB household. I had nothing to do with it - yet. The family people had their door open and they were arguing - intensely and cussing each other out. Big no-no. I don't want to hear ANY of that S*** in my house. I walked down the hallway and abruptly interrupted them: Close the door, I don't want to hear this crap.

They did close the door, the guy left to deliver the body to the airport, a bunch of clothing has been dumped all over the hallway floor. When he gets back, we are definitely going to have a conversation. Number one that junk is getting picked up, cause' if it ain't, I'm throwing it outside. Number 2, I do not tolerate this kind of drama in my house. They want to fight, go somewhere ELSE and shout it out all they want. In my house, not going to happen. I will call the police and have them deal with them if, after I ask them not to do it here, they continue on with it. I have the right to the peaceable enjoyment of my property, that includes tenants living here.

Well, I'm done - for now.

Wednesday 6/15/2011

Wednesday

Wrote this this morning and forgot to post it, lol.

The boasting and gloating is over. That's exactly what I call those people that picketed the Wisconsin state house and finally "won" a victory through a judge. They now lost, though I don't wonder if the thing will be pushed through to a higher court.

From what I have seen of unions, at least the ones in the news, they are extremely petty, extremely selfish and have no interest whatsoever in the companies or entity's well-being that they are working for.

They don't seem to care even if it pushes a company to the point of bankruptcy or even insolvency in their actions to strike against companies because of "unfair" benefits or not enough pay. These people seem to live in la-la land - the economy has tanked, there are millions of people out of work, yet here they are, pushing their agenda: we are unfairly paid and we want MORE!

Join the rest of the crowd - the people that aren't in unions and fend for ourselves. I don't get a pension when I quit my current company. I don't expect to have X amount of percentage added to my pay every year, though I will certainly fight for it. These people, however, are "entitled".

The thing that got me on the fast track to greatly disliking unions is when that Boeing machinists union, I think it was, effectively shut down a giant company who losses because of it were in the hundreds of millions of dollars range.

Whatever. I upped my deduction for 401K earlier this year to 5% and am considering either adding 2 more percent to it or doing a 2% automatic savings plan. There is so much on the internet now from all kinds of sources saying we simply do not save enough money and we end up getting caught red-handed at the "end" - retirement years - meaning having to work longer and longer. Well, frankly, I have no guarantees that I am going to be physically CAPABLE of working at the age of 70, and to be even more frank about it: I am sure I won't WANT to work a full-time job at that age.

It means, to me, that I am going to really have to get my deductions up to at least 10%. I'm beginning to sweat this one: I'm 47 years old and I only have 12k in my retirement account. By now, I should have 200k or more in savings.

I don't know what else to do - at least within my means. I've thought about having another structure built on my property - either a rental unit or my new living quarters and either rent that out or rent out my master bedroom. Take that money and save it. I could get $500 per month for my master bedroom because it has it's own bathroom and walk-in closet, something that people really like and will pay more for.

To that end, I am going to start getting all my tax documents re-assembled and get into an accountant's office and have redo everything and get my money out of that house fire. I'm guessing we're talking another 10k.

Further, there are all kinds of out of work carpenters looking for rooms to rent for free or greatly reduced in exchange for work around the house. As long as they could prove that they are who they say they are in the realm of expertise, the carpentry for the structure would be very cheap. The biggest expense would be the materials and the plans that would have to be submitted to the city along with permits.

This is an idea that is getting more of my attention. With cheap labor plus some of my connections for materials - I work for the company that is the largest, contractor's plumbing supply outlet in the country, or if not, certainly in the top 3, and the fact that I get all that material at cost, the numbers go down in terms of costs.

There is quite a bit of plumbing both in a house and leading up to it.

This is no longer a pipe dream with the money that I already have from taxes and the money I am looking at getting. The other option is to looking at getting another property entirely. Such as the one across the street.

Well, no time to go into all of that now, just something that is "swirling" around in my head and gaining traction as I am finding my paperwork and thinking about getting something going. I don't trust that the money I am going to earn from work and save is going to be enough for retirement, I never have and I have to find some other means to get me there.

_____________

Home from work. At a 260 calorie sandwich this morning, but sorta blew it on around 500 calories of something else later on. Well, that still isn't that many calories, really. I went for a hike up into the mountain after work. Nice and hot out there. No one else hiking in those conditions!

That's it.

G'day.

ben

Monday, June 13, 2011

It Is A Foregone Conclusion That..........

............I will not be writing my normal, early, workday entry tomorrow morning, so I'm writing something now instead.

I put in 10-1/2 hours today and didn't get everything done that needed to be done. Hence, the contractor I was supposed to make an afternoon delivery to wants his stuff there, at the site atttttt...................5:30 am. That means getting up a bit before 4:00 am to take my shower and get ready for work, get to work, open up shop, get the semi to the front of the store, do my paperwork, close up shop and leave. That's going to take longer than I am figuring here, I'm probably going to have to get up at 3:30 am to get it done. Oh well.

The worst part about days like today are that I do not get to keep the hours. I will have to leave 3 hours early sometime this week. Tomorrow may go over as well, not sure yet, but rest assured, some day this week will be slow and I will end up going home early - very early.

If I could get 10 hours a day, every day, at work, I would have no further need of tenants. Or at most, 1 and rent out 2 rooms to 1 person (lots of people look for such situations). Pipe dream.

So, I heard back from my son yet again. By now, the campers (kids) are there. I am sure they get right on with camp activities shortly after they arrive since the kids are only there for 6 days. He gave a devotional last night and apparently it touched the hearts of those that were listening. He didn't answer any of my questions, lol, about the car, college, etc, his mind is undoubtedly in a different place right now, I'll give him a pass on that one.

I worked my @$$ off today, so much so that I had no need of going to a gym today. I was getting a workout all day long loading and unloading that truck and pulling 2 massive orders. It didn't quite wipe me out, but it came close to it. Which is a good thing, I will need to be going to bed extra early and I don't want to have trouble staying asleep. I never have a problem GETTING to sleep, it's STAYING asleep that sometimes defies me. Oh and work today? No break, all day long, no time for it. The difference is, the computer system at work is no longer robbing me of half hours of time - it used to be I logged out and it would automatically deduct a half hour. Not now, they changed it - after 5 years of losing a lot half hours and involuntarily donating that time to the company - it asks you if you took a break. If you did, what time, if you didn't it doesn't deduct anything. Nice, finally and about time.

For whatever reason, the diet is starting to work again. Oh, maybe it's the hikes up into the mountains and redoubled efforts to keep calorie counts down. I've consumed about 1,200 calories today, total. I have only had water and a peach tea thing that has no calories in it. I just looked it up to be sure, 0 calories and the only thing in is a small amount of sodium. I will consume no more calories today, at all and start all over again tomorrow with the same mindset. It's much easier for me to keep with it during the weekdays while at work and even when I come home from work. A tad bit harder during the weekends, but I'm pretty motivated to get rid of the excess and be done with it. I was stuck at 197 for a long time, with fluctuations of course, but it has shown at 193 for a couple of days now and hopefully I can soon break the 180 wall and maybe KEEP it down there this time. Oops, I had coffee this morning with no fat creamer (I haven't used sugar in coffee in at least 25 years) - 10 calories per serving. 2 cups of coffee equals next to nothing.

Well, I gotta go out and check on the fishies before it gets dark. I fed them earlier but I didn't do my daily "inspection". OH, and the AC in the semi is definitely fixed!! Yahoooooooo!

G'day.

ben

Monday 6/13/2011

Welcome to Monday (at least in this part of the world).
The Wallow fire is now 10% contained. I'm a bit more of an optimist, I guess, cause' the news story I was reading said "only 10% contained". Well that's better than the 0% it was at for weeks and then the 5% it's been stuck at for days.

I will be glad when this family is out of my house. They got their own place, a 4 bedroom house in Glendale. They plan on renting out 2 of the rooms to help pay for it. Good luck, folks, you have no idea what you are getting yourselves into. They figure they can do what I am doing. Which is okay, I guess, but these people really aren't the types that are going to be able to deal with the situations that arise when you have roommates.

I guess they'll figure that one out on their own. They offered me $60 for the wood bedset in that room, I simply said no thanks. The guy that left that stuff said it cost him a small fortune and it IS a very good looking set. Now, they want to buy the love seat that I have been trying to seel forever for $50, they can have at it. In fact, I would sell the entire living room stuff to them for $100 and start over again in there. The couch is still in very good condition - but the coffee table is a bit scratched up. Kids.

Anyway, I do have a few interested individuals that want to take a look at the room, but I think I am going to wait until they are gone. I am going to have to buy a new mattress for that bed in there. I have found a couple of pretty nice ones on Craigslist for a good price.

So, in the near future, there will be work to do. But, the trailer tenants help me nowadays in getting rooms ready to rent. They will go in there and clean the carpet and basically clean the entire room out. I don't have to ask them to do this, either, I guess they feel compelled to do whatever they can to help me out since they have been around - for quite a long time now, actually. It's been a year and a half or so. I wish I could get a hold of a nicer living unit for them - maybe an old RV whose engine is blown but still has a nice interior or something. Not high on my list of priorities. In fact, it isn't on that list at all.

I did, at one point, put out an ad seeing if anyone would like to help out a homeless couple, it was worth a try. I got some stupid people saying I was a beggar and that I shouldn't post such stuff on Craigslist. Sometimes, you would like to meet those people in person and give them a taste of how you feel about them talking to you like that, but I usually just ignore it and move on.

Has there ever been anything that has happened to you in your life that you would like to "make right" with the person that did something to you? I was thinking about that with Caleb up at camp. As a kid, I was sent off to all kinds of camps up in the mountains during summer school breaks.

One such camp had a 20-something year old "counselor" that was a total @$$. He enjoyed making life hell for the campers - which in my case, I think I was all of 12 years old. I remember one morning sitting down at a table to eat breakfast. He asked me a question, can't remember what it was now, and I responded. I guess he didn't like my answer and proceeded to grab my arm and bend it around my back. It felt, at the time, like he was breaking my arm, it was pretty painful. It was enough to make me cry, I'll say that much.

I would love to meet up with that individual today. I would let him know in no uncertain terms just how much I appreciated a "man" inflicting pain on a boy half his size and age.

Regardless, the work day is here and plenty to do.
Thusly,
G'day.

ben

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Church

I went. I sat out in the parking lot for 10 minutes engaged in a mind battle as to whether I should actually go into the place or not.

But, I did. The foyer? 2 people greeted me, but, fantastically, they did not ask me to fill out a guest card. They all want your name and personal information. I don't necessarily want to give out that information right off the bat, what if I don't like and I don't WANT them contacting me?

It's in a large cluster of office buildings - so yes, this church is actually set up in an office setting. Where do I got? Lady pointed down a long hallway. Got there and there were quite a number of people there. I quickly found a seat and - sat. I was feeling very uncomfortable. Not because of the people, just being IN church.

Numerous people came up and introduced themselves. I knew that would happen, but I didn't really want the interaction. I know, I sound like a recluse, but this is something I want to ease back into, not go full throttle right off the bat. Of course, those people don't know that and besides, it's their "duty", so to speak. Nice people.

Worship starts - contemporary. A live band, something I greatly appreciate. I have been in many churches that play the music off of a CD, not appealing to me at all. Talented kids, too, they were into what they were doing and it showed.

That went on for an hour and a half, amazingly. Then the pastor got up. I further appreciated not being singled out as a "newbie". I don't want or need that recognition, which occurs at most churches I have been to, regardless of size, when I have been a first timer there. He went on for about an hour. It was a good discussion he gave, really, though the service waxed on for 2 and a half hours, I was good at an hour and a half. Well, he dismissed everyone but offered prayer and it was obvious social hour had also started. I am not going to say I want nothing to do with it, just that I was not prepared for 2-1/2 hours of a service and I quickly departed.

I was almost to the door when an older gentleman tapped/sorta grabbed me by the shoulder. "I hope you'll come back again next week". He had, apparently, chased me out of the auditorium. I appreciated the kindness, acknowledged it, thanked him and left.

I will go back, I think, next week. Unless something comes up, of course. I want to get back into the fellowship of believers, I just want to do it slowly.

As for other news, Caleb wrote me back yet again since I went to church. He had replied to my message to him from yesterday and I tried to give him a bit of advice without being push or know-it-all about it. It was concerning his preparation to give a daily devotional with the kids. I won't go into that, it was a private discussion and I think it best kept unsaid, just that thanked me for the advice. He sounds like he is doing well, which is what I was really wanting to hear, one way or the other. It was good to have some communication with him.

Home life? The family tenants apparently have found a place. I have had interest in the room, but no-one committing to come over and look at it yet.

I dunno, don't really want to go into too much else. I have some reflecting to do on the words that I heard today.

ben

Sunday 6/12/2011 Teetering On The Verge Of.......

...........going to church this morning.

I can't believe I'm even actually, seriously considering it.

Well,I consider it every week, but I don't do anything about it. There is a church just a few miles away that, at least in print, has the same type of beliefs and outlook that I have on the church, the Bible, God, etc etc etc.

Which doesn't mean it's heaven on earth. I have had that reality shoved in my face on more than one occasion.

One trepidation that I have in going to a new church, especially a smaller one, is that I will see someone there from the past that I know from other churches. I don't want to know anyone there. I want every single face there to be a complete and total stranger to me.

If I'm going to go and I get a good feel about it, I want to go to it for at least 4 services in a row - 4 Sundays - and find out if they really practice what they preach. I am not trying to judge them before I even go in there or set it up in my mind for failure before I even walk through the door, just that I've been there, done that.

Humans are not, of course, perfect. But, we use this excuse all to often to bypass short-comings in an organization that should not have such types of short comings in a prevalent posture. It's the leadership of the church that I am interested in scrutinizing. I know that sounds bad, but I have been burned too many times, I don't trust anyone in the church at this point and I have no reason to. Trust is, as most of us know, earned, not given away like door prizes at a newly opened convenience store. And I can say, unfortunately, that it would take a lot to earn my trust in looking at a church organization and reviewing my past in being shunned by a church and it's pastor.

Of course, pointing the finger at me, I have a lot of personal issues. But, so does everyone. This isn't something cataclysmic in volume. It's a statement that I am willing to try to get out of my box and enter a bigger one as long as the effort goes both ways. I have no intention of going into a church and dumping my history and problems on everyone or anyone, at all. My sole intention, above all of it, is to worship the Lord. I'm sure there will be the "fake" smiles of people acting genuinely interested that you came that day, shake your hand and that's it.

As I said, I've been there and done that. I have been in leadership in the church. The difference is, when I shook a person's hand and they wanted to release it all, I would not only stand there and listen, I would also offer to pray about it with them and if they came back the next week, I would ask them how they are doing. I am not in leadership in any church right now, obviously and further: I have absolutely zero desire to do so, at least at this point. I don't need anyone's pity, I just want to be together with genuine Christians, people who truly love the Lord. That's really all there is to it. I have this feeling that there will be someone there that I know. So, I am planning it the way I want a first encounter at a church to go: show up right when the service is starting, find a seat and blend in. When the service is over, get out of there.

Why? Just because I haven't been in church in a long time now and I don't really feel comfortable with it anymore. At one point in my life, I was spending up to 8 hours or even more in church on Sunday. Now, 7 or 8 years later, I don't even remember the last time I was in a church. No, I do remember now, well I don't know for sure. I think it was that big church I had started to go to just before my house burned down in 2007. I asked them for help - actually I wasn't going to ask them but someone on one of my blogs encouraged me to do so, so I did. They gave me a bit of a heave about it, too, saying they didn't have any record of me ever being there before. I thought that shallow, very shallow. I HAD been there several times and had filled out the card with my information on it on my first visit.

Well, they weren't shallow when one particular lady got involved, I do give that church credit that they really did help me out to some extent with some furniture and food. But it's a giant church, thousands of members, I have never really felt that a big, huge church is my type of thing. You can easily get lost in a place like that. Going to service every Sunday, you could come and go and no-one would ever know who you are. At the same time, at least right now, I am feeling very uncomfortable with a small church.

Shut up, Ben, just go take a shower, get dressed and get ready to go.

Hmmm, good idea.

G'day.

ben

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