Monday, May 26, 2014

Good and bad day.  
Good with a couple of the boys, bad with one particular one named Josiah.
These kids simply don't understand what the word clean is and I am going to train them. It may take forever, but that is my agenda and my goal.  There is one that is a big culprit in the disaster-making process, the youngest girl.  She just dumps things whenever she is done and that is that.  The only good thing about it is when she is told to clean up her mess, she doesn't throw a hissy fit and get mouthy, she says yes sir/ma'am and cleans it up.  

She's pretty young.  Josiah.  I told them all they were going to go up and clean their rooms.  I have had them cleaning it up pretty good so we are talking a 5 minute job and it's done.  Josiah had a cow.  Made the youngest boy do most of the work while he stood there texting.  I got on his case and told him to do this and that.  He blew up.  I mean, he blew up to the point of calling me names and insulting me. It was bad.  I bit my tongue and definitely warded off my initial reaction which was to smack him upside the head.  A mouth, arrogant, punk 16 year old talking shit to me.  

In fact, I got so angry that I just talked to m'lady, told her what was going on, had a conversation and then I left.  Not all day, to go get gas.  Long drive to work, don't want to waste time fueling up tomorrow.  13 year old went with me.  Talked to him for quite a while as well.  He also has attitude.   But, he is different.  He is looking for attention.  He hangs out with me all day long when I am over there.  He asks to throw baseball or football, can we do this or that.  Sure why not.  Get on my laptop and look at YouTube videos.  Still hope for him, I think.  Josiah - I think there's still hope, but he has a huge anger problem, he blows up at the tip of a hat and over extremely petty stuff. 

So I spent an hour or more with the 13 year old, it was only going to be 15 or so minutes to go get fuel and come back but I realized I was pretty ticked off and needed more time away from there to get myself under control. Cause' honey, if it had been an adult talking to me like that?  Yeah.  So we went to Walmart and then went to the McDonald's inside the WalMart and had a dollar menu sandwich, realizing I was still fuming, I started to drive home but went to a regular McDonald's instead with this boy - talking about life in general the whole time - had ice cream cones and a cup of coffee and then finally headed back.

But I was fuming all afternoon while Josiah's gf was there.  He knew it too.  When dinner was finally served - brisket - from one of her grass fed cows, the most delicious beef I have ever tasted in my life and I have been to all of the high dollar steak houses and they don't even come close - I was just glaring at him.  I couldn't stop.  I am not accustomed to having teenagers talking like that to me and just getting away with it.  My initial reaction, honestly, when he was mouthing off to me like that was to slap him silly upside the head.  Of course I can't do that to him, but that was what I wanted to do.  He said something - you like like you are about to blow up - I said yeah, we can discuss this in front of everyone if you like.  He got a smirk on his face which pissed me off even more.  Funny, huh? 

Her mom finally came and picked up GF and then?  We had a conversation.  I told him right to his face how it made me feel when he was talking his shit to me and making crude, offensive insults. Told him if it were my own son, well, ask my son when he comes to visit, he'll let ya know how I dealt with him on the rare occasion that he mouthed off - to mom, not me, he knew better than to start that kind of crap with me.  Just laid it on the line: don't ever talk to me like that again.  If you do, there will be immediate consequences.  More to the conversation than that, but the jist of it.  

There are a lot of kids there.  It's a lot to deal with.  I knew this coming in but it is draining.  When you  have a couple that each in their own right are a  handful in themselves and then mix in the rest of them with it - all wanting attention and all needing some kind of correction at some point in the day, some more than others - - - - - - - yup, it takes it out of you.  I don't hate or despise this, but it will take some time to adjust to this new lifestyle.  

I have no idea how I am going to feel tomorrow after a 47 minute drive to and from work plus a 10 hour work day in between, but I intend on going over there for a couple of hours if I am not too exhausted.  Then again, I might just let it go for the first week and try to figure out this new routine and my body and brain need to come into alignment.  I just wish they would start earlier - they start at 7 and I would prefer starting at 6.  Yes go to bed earlier but yes, get off work earlier as well.  

Life changes here to the max.  Lots of them in various venues.  Just riding it out and letting it all play out.  Hopefully not too many months and I will have this down to a routine.  

G'nite.

ben

6 comments:

  1. You sure Josiah doesn't have Borderline Personality Disorder? It sounds a lot like it.

    MPathetic

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  2. I am not sure of anything with that boy. I never even heard of what you are saying, I had to look it up. I have no idea. He has some pretty extreme mood changes in a flash of a second, isn't that more indicative of bi-polar?

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  3. ...and ROFL on your user name! Haha!

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  4. As expected your entries are very interesting in your new situation. The one thing I am sure of, is that you went into this with wide open eyes. You knew the kids, you knew the condition of the house, you knew the distance to the place of work.

    You definitely have your work cut out for you in several areas. All I can say is that if anyone can do it, you can. BTW, do those kids have any access to firearms? I hope your own are well secured where they don't know about them! fin

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  5. No, she has them locked in a gun safe in a locked closet. She has quite a large number of firearms but kids cannot get at them. They know about mine but they are inaccessible to them. The only thing of interest to them is the pellet rifle and the 16 year old wants to use it. He already had one in the past so it probably isn't an issue, who knows, mom will have to decide that one.

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  6. Good. Kids his age with uncontrolled anger problems and firearms are a real bad mix. Hardly a day goes by you don't read about some kid offing a bunch of family and friends. Glad you have the sense I expected you would.

    I worked with a woman whose kid broke the locks on their gun cabinet and shot himself into a permanent coma. I wonder whether there is an alarm ap for a smart or iphone which could be hooked up to the cabinet.

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