Church

I mean, I don't really ever regret going to church.
I get some mind battles going before church or even during the service, but that is starting to diminish to a great degree at this point. Which is refreshing, to say the least.

So, we are in the worship service. I'm starting to get something from the Holy Spirit. It just comes in to me and I am just pondering what I am hearing. This is ripe from the days of old when I would get a word and go up front and deliver it to the congregation.

Well, an old lady gets up, goes to the front and gives a word. She says look, there are some people here that have words from the Lord. There are at least 3 people that need to come up and speak forth what God is saying. I'm feeling very uncomfortable. I have issues and I don't really feel like I am in the position to give out such things. Well, 3 people give a word, but I noticed her glancing at me once after she sat down.

There it was. I knew that she knew. I still didn't go up there, not because I didn't want to, I just have this idea that being out of the church so long and really just starting to get back into the flow of it, I probably should just apply whatever it is to me, do whatever it is that the Holy Spirit is speaking or change or whatever it is and be good with it.

Now, this person isn't obnoxious, demanding, whatever, very nice person but very in tune with the Lord and a leader in the church, as she should be. After a very heavy message from the pastor comes forth that definitely had me searching my heart, soul and mind about enacting some changes in my life and the service was over, she comes up to me directly with a pen and a notebook in hand, handing it to me.

She didn't ask me anything. She stated that I had a word from the Lord and didn't deliver it, please write it out. It wasn't judgmental, it wasn't demanding, it was - we want to know, whatever God is saying through whoever is or should be saying it, we want to hear it. I had to smile. I was smiling because it was yet another source of internal battles: am I really hearing from the Lord or what, exactly, is all of this? I recognized it from days past - long ago - but it's been so long, I just didn't know. So I wrote it out. In detail, of course, as is my way of writing things out. Though, admittedly, writing things by hand isn't exactly my forte. Chicken scratch is a good definer of it.

Well, anyway, it was a good service.

Got home and did some yard work, it is nice out even if getting a little warm in the afternoons.

Sunday 10/16/2011

I guess I am coming to the conclusion that probably, the RV with people living in it? Violation of City codes. If that is true, there are numerous lots around here with that particular violation going on. Down the street, there is actually a couple living in a pickup truck on the side of the house it's parked at. There are several travel trailers throughout this community parked on the side of houses with people living in them.

But, 350 pound man is only interested in attempting to make life miserable for me. I await the letter from the court stating he has asked for a hearing to attempt to have the Injunction dropped. Don't know if he's done that or not, but if he has, I should hear about it within the next few days.

Look, I pretty much hate living in this neighborhood. Short-sell the place is ohhhhh so ever-loving tempting. There are so many pro's AND con's to doing it, though, it's a tough decision. But, I will not allow myself to be bullied, harassed or otherwise mistreated by idiots who also live in the neighborhood who have not, apparently, figured life out to any degree and HAVE no life to speak of.

I go through the endless circle of mind battles attempting to determine if I could, somehow, leave this property in a short-sell and find some place that would suit my needs and be happy with it. I don't ever come up with a good answer. This prompted me to send another letter to my mortgage company, this time to the office of the President. Why not? They could refi the home, bring the interest rate down to 4.1.% and that would save another $250 per month - at least.

Changing the subject, just spent some time out front pulling grass. I haven't started on the rock project, but that's going to start soon.

But the priority now? It's time to get ready for church.

G'day.

ben