Took everything in me to drag my butt out of bed this morning and get up for work.  By the time I got to work, I knew I was toast.  I signed in and sat there wondering how I could possibly make it through a work day feeling this incredibly sh....bad.  So I called the main warehouse manager and asked if he could send someone over to cover for me.  The same shit I always get from him, I knew I should have bypassed him and gone straight to the ops manager.

So I said fine, but when i get back from these deliveries, I am leaving and going to the doctor and btw, I will not be coming in tomorrow.  Then I wrote the OPs manager.  Same thing, lungs on fire, can't hardly breath, going to do the deliveries and then leave and may not be back for the rest of the week.  When I got back he he replied fine, but please acknowledge your review before you leave. Cool.  Then, after getting back from that run some 5 hours later, I told the warehouse manager I was leaving and that I won't be coming in tomorrow.  He says fine, call me if you aren't coming tomorrow.

This guy is a total jackass. I've said it to him three separate times today and he still doesn't get it, so I said quite loudly to get his attention: I GUARANTEE you I will NOT be coming in tomorrow! I did not call him, I left.  I'll call him tomorrow and tell him I ain't coming in Thursday, either and I may not go in Friday. I have been feeling like shit for almost 3 weeks now but the last 3 days has been hell.  I am going to keep running around all over the place at work and feeling like this and then go home with no energy and getting nothing done.

I have a freaking deadline here, I can't just stay sick forever!  If I don't get back to some semblance of normal in the next few days, I am going to have to start questioning whether I will be ready to go by the time the seventeenth of May gets here.  Even if I weren't moving, I can't just have this company running me into the ground by people who could give a damn about anyone's health. Every time I ask this guy to leave early if I'm sick but I showed up to cover the workload - he ALWAYS says well let me look. Go look at your ass in a mirror, I want to go home!  He could care less that a person has gone out of their way to show up and get things done even if in reality, that person should be staying home and in bed.

But there is another reason I don't want to work when I am feeling that bad: I get really cranky.  I won't bite my tongue when people are acting stupid or saying stupid things. I get myself into trouble. It's best I just hole up in my bedroom and get past it. So the first delivery? "We don't need this", referring to 2 twenty foot lengths of pipe that they ordered. I looked at that guy and said: why the bleep are you people always ordering shit and then telling us you don't want it when we bring it?  They do this all the time but usually I keep my mouth shut. Instead, all I could think about was getting the freak out of there and getting these deliveries over with.  He looked at me and stepped back. I knew I had blown it but I didn't even care.

Then there was the last delivery.  I pulled up, got out, unstrapped, talked to a guy who disappeared.  I got the entire load shifted and unstrapped and restrapped excepting for what needed to be taken off.  Then a Yellow freight truck showed up. I had called the superintendent and asked him if I could get this truck unloaded, please.  He said, oh, there's nobody there? No, I replied, there are plenty of people here and I even talked to one person but nothing has happened yet. So, when this freight truck shows up so does a guy in a truck. I He gets out of the truck and proceeds to unload this freight truck first!  I"m just standing there glaring at him.  Then some other dude comes out and stands there at the back of my truck watching this guy on the forklift. The guy on the forklift asks about something and he says, Oh nooooo, take your time, i have all day!

Yeah, that's when I lost it. Well I sure as hell don't have all day and i was here fifteen minutes before this truck that you are unloading.  He just looks at me.  I'm waiting and waiting, this is takin forever and yes, I was getting crankier by the minute. I called the superintendent back and told him what was going on and he started asking for names.  What's your name? Josh. Didn't change a damned thing though they were going to unload that other truck regardless and I was pissed.

Normally, if I weren't feeling so crappy, I would just go back into my truck and get on my computer and who cares. But I was in pain. My lungs were on fire. I was hating life.  Guy tells me to chill and then I let him have it.

Whatever. I may yet get into trouble for that, I dunno, but if I do, I"ma blame it on that asshole manager that refuses to give me any leeway, whatsoever, whenever I tell him I'm sick. Which is not that often.  When I say I'm sick and need to go home, they know I ain't making up stories.  Yet at the same time, they don't seem to give a damn. Actually I was saying that I needed to go to the doc's, not home and that didn't phase him at all. Funny part is this dude has health problems and takes off frequently to go to the doc's.  Just leaves.

I didn't want to hear it when I got back from the run. Just I'm leaving, won't be back tomorrow, good bye!

Went to doc's and they put me on some inhaler thing that has pure oxygen being pumped into it with some steam looking stuff and you breath it in for a while.  It helped quite a bit but certainly didn't make me feel THAT much better. Still, the effects of that and the inhaler have been palpable. I left there and went to the dude's house to get AC fixed.  Miserable, tired and wanting it over with, but needed to be done.  He got that thing cranking out colder ac than it has ever cranked out, but almost 3 hours of that.  Finally home, I want to sleep for over an hour but started coughing again so got up.. BTW, I have bronchitis.

Well i got on computer and talked to m'lady for a while then after hearing what she was saying about Josiah, contacted him and asked him about all the stuff and - anyway - not anything I even remotely feel like going into right now - stood there about to go to bed and Susan comes out just staring at me. You sound like hell.  you sound like you're teetering on the verge of pneumonia.  Well what am I supposed to do? I went to the doc's, got the prescription filled, on the medication?

I'm in my bedroom now. Humidifier pumping away, it will have it's effect soon enough when enough of the moisture is in the air to get down into my lungs, I will stop coughing almost altogether.

If you can't tell yet, I'm in a freaking bad mood.  Why the hell did this have to hit me now, of all times, when I have all of this stuff going on? Stop and listen to God I am guessing.  Better do that.  Something ain't right here.

ben