I have finally figured out what the holdup is with him in things like this. He is acutely aware, apparently, of both of his parent's financial concerns and problems and doesn't want to be a burden. So, when I say something about going on another fishing trip and he gives me a blank look, at the time, I didn't get it. I thought he had a good time, so what was up?
When we were talking yesterday about this, he said he really wanted to go again and this time he would save up for the entire trip. Ummm, yeah, well I don't know if he realizes how much a trip like that costs. Even on the cheap you are going to drop some Benjamins. A number of them, actually. I see now, it's all about money and that he wants to be able to help out. But he already helps his mom with money - she is unemployed yet again as she was let go of her recent job find. It's a bit of a story, but it didn't sound like such a great place to work at, anyway.
I replied we could go this summer sometime and if he could contribute towards it, that would be great. I REALLY want to do the overnighter. Actually, it's 2 nights now that I think about it. You leave the dock at 8:00 pm. The boat cruises to the fishing area while you sleep in a bunk. Boat arrives the next morning and you get up and spend the day fishing. Night comes, the boat leaves and comes back in the next morning. $195 per person, plus food, tackle and permits. Well, you can bring your own tackle, but I am not going out and buying all that stuff. I would definitely buy some lures, though. People using their own lures was what was really catching the fish last time.
I suggested to Caleb that we might rent a small boat and go out on one of the nearby lakes and sorta get a better feel for fishing. I used to love fishing as a kid, but life and it's issues have mostly gotten in the way of much of anything. Not that I care, it is what it is, nor that I'm complaining, but, that's the reason I set out to get the 5th wheel travel trailer and get it, eventually, up to mom's property. There is more to life than living in the polluted, vile city. I hate living here, I hate it. I ESPECIALLY hate hate the neighborhood I am living in, but I have gone into that quite enough.
Now I have a better feel for what's going on with him. He wouldn't eat much while we were on the boat last time and I only found out afterwards why: he thought it was too expensive and he didn't want me to have to spend a lot of money on him. Well what are dads for? I am glad, though, that he is on that end of things instead of the "Gee, you are dad, you must be an ATM machine, please gimme, gimme, gimme" attitude that I have seen in kids these days that makes me want to puke. Hopefully he gets a nice paying job after school and will have learned about saving versus spending everything that you get in. But, while I am on vacation, I expect to have to spend exorbitant amounts of money on food when you have no other choice. If we do this again, I will let him know that: you hungry, get something, they put it on my tab, I don't really care. Not like I do that everyday.
Well, I am going to go back outside and try again. I had absolutely no motivation when I went out there an hour ago trying to do the same thing: resume the landscaping project and grass cutting stuff.
Later.
ben
