Honestly not looking forward to another 2,600 mile road trip.  Just too soon to be doing another one. But I've checked Greyhound and I've checked all the shuttle services I could find. Greyhound stops at Benton, but Sierra Vista is another 40 or so miles south of there.  Then I would have to take a shuttle from Benson to Sierra Vista.  If my dad hadn't lived so far south at what is basically a dead end before you get to Mexico.  It's a military town, that's what the "attraction" there is. Lots of retired military there too.

Anyway, I'm still both saddened and angered by my brother's lack of response to this.  Totally expected, still totally unacceptable.  I let them know in the group texting thing we have going that dad died yesterday.  No response from anyone.  My mom told me in a private text to " leave it alone".  I love my mom, but she is NOT going to tell me to be silenced. I'm not a 5 year old and I let her know in no uncertain terms that if my voicing my opinion about my dad was going to be a problem for her, I will "not bother you anymore about anything".

I'm sick  of my family's attitude towards my dad. My mom is divorced from him over 3 decades, but that doesn't give her right and license to just drone on about how evil she thinks he is, even in his death.  That is some sick s*** right there.  Shut the hell up and keep it to yourself if you can't say anything nice about a dead man. He spent his life helping people, if you can't at least acknowledge something good about him, I don't want to hear anything at all from you about it.   

I grew up with my dad, I know how he is.  I remember going on countless bird watching hikes with him.  Going on nature hikes, we would go camping in the woods and he would point out stuff and give a short description of what it is and what it's importance was.  My dad was a loving soul, I don't give a serious damn about my family's lack of love for him in trying to shut me up about it and I am sick of their vilification of him.  I made ONE text, very brief and said I wouldn't say anymore about it and my mom gives me hell for that? NO.  I left it up to her if she wanted to have any further interest in my life, for I am not going to continue to tolerate this bullshit from any of them. I will close myself off to all 3 of them forever.

My cousin has given me FAR more support from the other side of the world than anyone around here in my family lines has.  It's amazing - amazingly pathetic.  

My family sucks.  That's all there is to it. I don't care if I ever see my brothers again.  I'm getting close to that with my mother.  She wants me to fly to Phoenix to drive her to the wedding in August. The HELL with that. I'm not going to spend 6 hours listening to someone whine about bs in our family that is non-existent. I understand she has her feelings about him from a divorced view of it, but I am his SON.  She can't even see that he was my dad and that I loved him?   

To be honest, I am FAR more grieved about my brothers lack of any interest, whatsoever, in my dad than I am of my dad's passing.  Their hatred for him. Their unceasing anger towards him.  He went to Heaven, he is with the Lord, I am content with that.  I will miss knowing that he is alive and having our conversations, but we will have that once again sometime in the future.  For the Lord is our God, our Father and we have an everlasting covenant with Him through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Thank you Jesus!

So yes, I'll drive out there once again.  I simply can't afford the high cost of flying to Tucson and the shuttle fee on top of that  I will leave out of here directly after work on Thursday, try to get at least 400 miles in before stopping somewhere and then finish it off on Friday.  I have already made hotel reservations at the same place I stayed at on Saturday.

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Sunday morning. Woke up with hives and rashes on various parts of my body. I am not sick so I think I know what the problem is.  Mites.  Dogs have them. I treated Addler yesterday and will be treating the Shepherd today. No I haven't been letting them in my bed but they sleep in my room and this is the only thing I can think of that is causing this. The rashes are where my body makes the most contact with the bed so it only makes sense to me that mites are the problem. Currently washing everything in hot water, will be going to the store to buy some poison to spray in the room and hopefully rid the room of the mites.

That is creating a rather busy day for me in what otherwise was going to just be laid back and resting.  It just became obvious yesterday that Addler has mange, hair starting to fall out near his tail and scratching and itching all over. This isn't a food allergy, this is definitely them little critters eating him alive.  After I bathed him yesterday, I sprayed the mite stuff on him and the itching all but completely ceased.  He is now only itching in areas that I didn't spray - I didn't see anything there so I didn't spray it. Will be dealing with that a little later on as well.