Another full day spent with the lady.  I met up with her at her store and her 3 youngest ones that she was dragging around with her - she does that regularly.  We went to Walmart and then Home Depot and then back to her house where I attempted to get some things done - the house needs help, we'll just put it that way.  She has 2 pretty little girls ages 6 and 8 and a 10 year old boy, I was trying to break through their barriers and get them to talk.  The 10 year finally caved in, the 8 year old started to show signs but the 6 year old has it stuck in her brain that I am going to marry m'lady (which is certainly not out of the question at this point, just down the road a piece)  and that she doesn't want another daddy.  Mom has attempted to tell her several times over that I wouldn't be a daddy or even a step daddy.  But she can't past it.  Her brothers apparently have asked her why she even cares, they rarely see their dad and he shows them little attention or love, he simply tries to buy their affection with money and letting them do whatever they want

But those kids don't need that.  They need direction and guidance and they need to see real love from a man to a woman.  Or in this case, from a man to their mom.

Of all the kids, though, there is one that is attention starved, going through a lot of mind battles and obviously needing and wanting an adult male's attention in his life.  This became so much clearer today as when he got home from school he followed me around all over the place and talking. He has a serious issue that he needs to get past in his life and though I would love to help him with that, I won't be around near long enough to be able to even put a dent in that particular situation.

When I was leaving, he followed us to the door and asked if I was leaving.  Yes, I am going back to the hotel.  Well, he wished me a good night, so I reached out my hand and shook his.  Of course, I wasn't leaving RIGHT away, lol, we walked down the road a piece, away from the house and - well you know - anyway, that's not really something I need to write to everyone else, a man with a woman that are in love with each other, figure it out, lol.

Where is this leading to?  I can't predict the future, this is the first visit.  She is dreading Saturday when I leave.  I won't want to leave either, I can assure you of that, there is nothing in me that wants to go home at this point as I consider Phoenix a hell-hole, I haven't liked living there in a long time and here?  She lives out in the country, away from the city.  The air is fresh.  She has huge pine and oak trees all over her 36 acres of land.  She has 10 cows and she rents out pasture to a lady that has numerous horses there.  There is a stream that runs through the property and a small pond - of the likes I am going to make into a bit bigger pond before I leave.  They go through some dry spells where water runs slow or not at all and that pond is what the cows use to drink water.  They tried to build a small dam at the outlet some time ago, but it was ill conceived.  There was nothing driven into the ground to support the dam and keep it from washing away, which is exactly what happened when a good rain came and the water just washed their dam downstream.

I'm loving it here, is what I am saying.  I didn't want to leave tonight, but I get tired at a certain point in time every single night and I have to go lay down and get some sleep.  It would be much easier to stay there, but it's written right into the divorce decree that - however it is written, boyfriend, man whatever - is not to be inside the house after 9pm, until/if/when marriage occurs.  It is all about appearances anyway. Some of the kids that were totally opposed to me coming and this relationship are now changing their minds.  I am very cool and good with kids of all ages.  I just know how to get along with them in their own language and that is something I both learned on the mission field and also in youth ministry in the church.

Well I am fading and it's time to go to bed.  But I am one happy man right at this particular point in time.

G'nite.

ben

I just spent, literally, the entire day over at her house with all of those kids.  It was a very interesting day.  I was a little uneasy about all of them because I know how some of them feel about this situation.  They aren't actually happy about it, yet at the same time they don't seem to much care to be with their father.

Regardless, they didn't actually warm up to me right away.  In fact, that really didn't even begin to happen until much later on in the day, excepting the 15 year old.  Extremely talkative, 10 miles a minute kid with a motormouth that just won't stop.  He's the problem child, supposedly, well I believe it I just haven't seen it yet. They were all up in the bedroom upstairs taking pokes at me with her when she went up there after we had spent a lot of time there - which was okay with me, just teenage talk.

Ummm, anyway, long lapse, it's  Monday morning, have the whole week off dunno what we are doing today.  Dunno what we are going to do on any given day, just know that she has to haul around 3 of those kids with her at any given time during the work week, though apparently she is going to drop them on some folks who volunteered to watch them for a while, while i am here.

Meanwhile, still trying to get that room rented!  I dunno what the problem is, there have been several people over there already and no-one is taking it.  Just talked to a lady that works at the airport - which is all of 10 minutes away from my house.  She has weird hours and apparently has to drive back and forth to the airport to deal with customers checking in and such, so my location is a good one for her.  Probably  6 miles to the employee parking lot from my driveway.

But who knows, just posted another ad and will keep doing so.

Going into the details  of what's going on?  Well let's just say that it is better than either of us expected, which is a really good thing - for both of us.  If it stays on track as it is going, leaving on Saturday is not necessarily going to be an easy thing to do.  I don't know when I will be able to get back - the costs are a bit prohibitive in flying and renting a hotel room, but certainly not before 2014.

Christmas coming up, not that that is anything grand within our family.  IF I am able to make it until January without getting stopped by ADOT - Arizona Department of Transportation/Highway Patrol/ADOT Enforcement (a whole division specifically directed towards the "enforcement" of commercial vehicle laws and truck inspections), I will get a 2 week's worth of pay bonus and that would certainly pay for a trip back over here.

Sitting at a Denny's across the road from her store waiting for her to show up. She has a guy that runs it for her but I ain't going over there until she shows up. Heavily armed type of place because it deals in buying gold and silver.  I like Denny's coffee : )

G'day.

ben