Tired does not adequately describe how I feel right now.  Exhausted is a much closer word.

I started early this morning, there was an empty down there last night so I hooked up to it - last night - and got it ready to leave this morning.

I was 100 miles into the trip back when the manager called. Was E005 there, it wasn't supposed to be? He must have been looking on GPS and knowing I was heading north.  Yup, it was there. 

200 miles later he calls again. Im going to try to sell you a pitch here.  What on earth, I thought.  Drive to the other side of the world was my second thought.  I wasn't far off.  He had checked every available driver's hours on the 70 hour clock - I had the most.  That was easy,  all the other drivers started the day before me after their 3 days off.  Mine just happened to start the next day.

I had 55 at the time- I'm down to 48? I think.  He went on about a trip to Palm, Pennsylvania.  I was not necessary happy to hear about that, but I kept my chin up. That trip is a waste.  You drive 2 days and a couple of hours the third day, you sit around for nearly 24 hours and then you go unload.  They won't unload you early, a waste of time to even try.  PA is veritably shut down right now the last I heard - COVID19 - so there isn't any thought about doing anything. 

I listened to him throw out his sales pitch, he gave the odds of anyone going actually making it back without having to take a 34 hour reset.  I didn't look at my available hours, but its around 1,400 miles one way.  That will eat up - 25? - hours of the one clock going up.  Off duty for however long waiting to unload - that doesn't count on the 70, any off duty time - then 4 to 6 hours to unload and then head back.  I'm figuring 55 hours of on duty time approximate - there is no way I'm making it back to Texas without having to take a reset.  I figure I'll be somewhere in either Mississippi or Louisiana and will have to sit for 34 hours. 

The good thing is that they have to pay a hotel - that is why they don't want to have on-the-road resets, especially now that the company is broke. They have clamped down on everything, but I will absolutely insist on a hotel and a decent one at that.  That's well off into the future.  But something I need to give consideration to.  I can tell you this: I can make more money in two runs to Brownsville, if at least one of the runs has overnight detention pay - spending 4 days than spending 7 days - or 8 if a reset is needed. 

It isn't exactly a waste trip, it's still decent money but it's much more out on the road that I prefer.  I haven't been there in what, a year? So I'll eat it without complaining.  Some drivers love this trip.  I dunno if we're out of the 3 day off funk, so perhaps it's good I'm getting something. No-one is home to boot, they're in Colorado at the moment.  I can tell ya, tho, being home alone is fine by me.

Whatever the case, get back to the yard, unhook the truck, hook up to the trailer for tomorrow, do my paperwork and send it in, off to Kroger's, over to Maria's, get the dogs, home, cook and prepare for tomorrow, check the cats, their dog and throw out old trash, finish cooking, fill up the dishwasher, pack my bag with a lot more clothes - enough for at least 10 days - find the cat watering bottle stuck closed - cats were rather thirsty, the bottle wasn't letting out the water, fixed that, cats went crazy on water - thank God found that before I left - finished cleaning the kitchen and now - just waiting for cooked food to cool down so I can put it in the refrigerator and then go to bed.

That's a 16 hour day going now.  I'm going to pay for this tomorrow, nothing new.  Drive dead tired for half the day, take a 40 minute nap - I'll pass out on that one - wake up feeling much better and drive out the day and then go to bed shortly after tomorrow driving is done.  Goal: as close to 700 miles as I can get.  Goal next day: same as first day.  Goal 3rd day: get near destination. If early enough, get a cheap hotel .  No sense sitting all freaking day long in a truck.  It's going to be at least 9 straight days on the road including this Brownsville run I just got done with, I'm going to want a full sized bed out of a truck and relax. 

Well that's been today.  The drive to Brownsville was uneventful - the the amount of road construction is still increasing.  At the rate they are doing this Interstate project it may be that we won't be able to make it down there in a day.  And then, that run becomes much less desirable. 

Both Taylor and James made it to their destination in Colorado today.  They are driving separate vehicles.  Taylor sent me a pic of a party - lots of people there. Taylor grew up there, everyone knows her.  She is, however, probably exhausted and ready to go to bed lol.   The boys are doing fine - that would be expected, grandma definitely coddles them I would have to say after watching the interaction many times over.  But whatever, that's what grandma's are for.  At least, that's what I remember about my grandma when I was young.

Okay I figure another 15 minutes and food can go into refrigerator and get - 6 hours of sleep lol.  Just gonna try to get a good attitude about this one and get it started - and get it over with. 

I am trying to light a fire under those ladies feet. They have 15 days left to find a place to move into.  The available places have rented out - weird everything is suddenly renting around here.  We tried to go look at a place yesterday - I went and got Maria - but the man wasn't answering his phone so we just looked at it from the roadside.  This is Texas, you really don't want to walk up in a person's yard you don't know and they don't know you're coming. 

Taylor made it to Missouri a lot faster than I thought she would. But I had to stop and think - I'm thinking in terms of driving a big truck and going 68 miles per hours.  She drives must faster than that lol.  I dunno when they're leaving for Colorado but I'll assume today. 

James brought the boys home from daycare while I was out yesterday, got their stuff and left.  He kept it a surprise - meeting up with grandma - until the very last second.  He was parked somewhere in Texarcana - boys asking what they were doing. But - none of this stuff where they're constantly asking where is grandma, when are we going to get there, etc etc etc?  Cause', they didn't know what they were doing there.  Grandma drove up behind them, got out and sneaked up to the pickup and stood there looking into the rear window. Jaxon exclaimed Grandma!! - but Phoenix didn't hear it.  So James was like - look, look around! 

So, that was the beginning of all of that for them yesterday.  James is leaving out today after work.  Would love to have the house all to myself but I'm off to Brownsville today.  So, the house will be deserted for 2 full days, maybe even 3 depending on what's going on in Brownsville, for James isn't coming back til Sunday I think.  It's fine tho.  The house has cameras, an alarm and neighbors if nothing else.  It will be a target tho. No vehicles in the driveway or out front.  There are plenty of thieves that cruise this neighborhood on a regular basis. 

At least their version of a dog is in the back - there are a lot of valuables back there. Even if locked into a shed, a thief would have all the time they need to break the lock. 

I think about such things but I don't worry too much. Not worth it.  I'll have driving to focus on today and that will take me all day long - at least until 8:00 pm since I'm the third load.  But what wonderful sleep I had! Well, excepting the dream.  I was at a port somewhere driving a truck, I had gotten out, there was no one around.  I walked along a dock looking for someone and then all of a sudden 6 dudes appeared out of nowhere and then the bloodiest battle.  I pulled out my gun and unloaded the magazine and then somehow a sword magically appeared - lol - and I started hacking at these people while they were chasing me around the place. 

That's what I woke up out of.  I'm not particularly interested in getting into sword fights with anyone, but I do recognize a spiritual link there.  The Sword of the Spirit.  It isn't for fighting physical battles, it's for fighting spiritual ones, the 6 dudes could easily be representative of 6 evil spirits, could even be a warning of oppression.  It could be anything, but I tend to try to put these types of dreams into some spiritual context.  And will be asking the Lord about that today.  It certainly isn't anything I expect to happen in real life, I go to piers sometimes but they are never deserted and it's all highly secured every last one of the places I go to you have to go through a security gate. Some of the guards are armed.

Anyway, today should be a good day, I fell rested for the most part and I've had 3 full days off.  it was time to go back to work yesterday but I have no control over plants shutting down and waiting my turn for the next run in the queue.  I'm suspecting it was 3 days tho because the fas machine wasn't working, the internet was down Saturday and didn't come back up, I learned yesterday, until Monday afternoon.  Yikes, kind of hard for them to operate without the internet.  In fact, impossible. All the information about drivers and what they are doing and where they are on the road comes through the internet. Everything is done internally through email. Not sure how they worked that one out.

Well, it's 7:00 am and I need to get out of here. 

G'day. 

The dawn of a new day.
Taylor left about half an hour ago with the boys.  The boys went to dayschool, Taylor hit the road headed to Missouri.  The boys have no clue that mom is going to be gone 8 days and further have no idea that dad is coming after work to pick them up and head straight up to Arkansas to drop them off with the grandparents. 

Everything kept changing about Taylor's trip - I mean there's been 4 changes now, the final version of it was started today. Now, James is also going to go up there to pick up a bunch of stuff and bring it back here.  This is Taylor's stuff that was left at a relatives long ago.  Anyway, I sort of have the house to myself.  I say sort of because I've been off work 3 full days now, it's very likely that I will be heading out on the road somewhere tomorrow.  I'd expect to hear from the new dispatcher in the next several hours - it's still early, I got up to wish them all goodbye. 

In a nonchalant way of course, they didn't want the kids to know because of what happens when you tell them in advance.  When are we going? Are we leaving yet?  etc etc etc ad-infinitum.  So we all just said nothing about the upcoming trips.  The boys will be exceedingly happy once they find out that they are going to grandma's. It's not just grandma, the other half brother is up there as well, he's only a few years old than the oldest one here, they usually get along pretty well.

James isn't leaving for Colorado until Friday, I believe, he's just dropping the kids off today.  Taylor is going to Colorado for her dad's wedding.  Forgot to throw that in there.

As for me, I went to get the boat yesterday.  Took it to the nearest lake about 10 miles away, decided to try and fire it up in the parking lot.  No sense trying to launch it if it's not going to work.  It wouldn't fire. It cranked over nicely but firing was a different story.  I mean, it didn't even try to start.  The battery started wearing down, decided to take it back to the shop.  Continuing on with cranking it would have left a dead battery and no way to tilt the motor back up for traveling. 

Once back at the shop, they wrote up a new repair ticket and I left.  Went looking for ammo - it's pretty sparse and hard to find.  9mm especially.  Academy Sports had no 9mm or 40 cal.  I eventually ended up at a pawn shop where they had a few boxes of 9 mm and as much 40 as I wanted. Well, they would only sell me one box of the 9mm, which was fine, my main pistol at this point is the 40. On my way home from that, I stopped at Wingstop and then off to the house - where in the middle of that drive back the shop called me and informed me that they tried to start it and it fired right up.

I became suspicious of that.  I know how to start the thing, it's not that difficult, it wasn't even trying to fire up.  When I texted Taylor about it, she also had her suspicions.  Like they forgot to hook something up. I'm telling you, when I tried to crank that motor, it wasn't even trying to fire even a little bit.  Not like I haven't had the thing running before.  Well whatever, I guess I'll have to drive clear back over there again today. They want me to come and show me how easily it fires up.  Great, I'm thinking, that doesn't really prove anything.  If they made a mistake, why not just own up to it?  I wouldn't have an issue with it.  I have more an issue of them trying to make it look as if I'm the culprit who doesn't know how to start an engine that I've started in the past many, many times over.

But I'll keep my mouth shut. They've been in business 30 years and they know these old motors, it was really my last resort locally.  Otherwise I would have had to drive to Dallas or Houston with the thing to get it repaired, something I was less than interested in in doing.  This is their first attempt, btw. They said the dude that put on automotive plug wires and plugs had it wrong and that it doesn't work with these 2 stroke engines.  it has to be some special type of wire and plugs - whatever is in them they told me but I have forgotten.  They replaced all of that and declared it running fine! lol okay well maybe it's running fine in the shop in a tub of water, we'll see what's going on with it out on the lake. 

I just want the thing to be able to fire up, idle, move when I want it to move, idle it again, etc.  If I could ever get it to that point then I would focus on the minor issues the thing has.  I found a brand new trolling motor yesterday at Adaemy for a very reasonable price.  I also found a ladder on an old junk boat they have out there that I could use on it.  And other things that aren't really costly.

Other than that, I have no plans today.  There's plenty to do around here - too hot.  We didn't quite finish up the cleaning job we started a month ago, still plenty to go in the back yard.  I'm less than motivated, especially thinking that I may be going out tomorrow to who knows where.  Brownsville preferably but at this point I'll take whatever.  Except Houston. Don't send me to Houston! lol

Okay, well time to get busy about the day.

Interesting day.
Up early - 4:00, jolted out of deep sleep by the ridiculous phone alarm - annoying as all get out but that's the intended effect - get to work, hook up trailer to the plant, loaded out on the highway.

As usual, I'm really not all that good with the first or second load, it's just way too early for me. I went to bed around 8:45 last night, it's just the earliest I can manage to get myself into bed and sleeping.  Driving I was thinking of how long a day it was going to be - or at least until I get X amount of miles done and can take a refreshing 30 to 40 minute nap. 

85 miles up the road, the phone rings.  It's the new dispatcher.  Hi Ben, I had to call to let you know that Mapleton cancelled the load.  I had this feeling yesterday it would cancel, but I had hoped I could get up there and then they would have me wait in a hotel and get paid detention pay.  But 85 miles? out of 750? Nope.

So I was instructed to take the trailer back to the yard and then we would go from there.  Flip a - safe - u turn and heading back, another phone call. Take it to the plant, get new paperwork and take it on up to Oklahoma instead.  Now that was more like it. At least not waste the day.  So all the way back to the plant and then all the way up here to the plant in OK.

And, there are now 4 loaded trailers sitting here and no empties.  I saw the last driver going the opposite direction shortly before I got here, I had the expectation that there would be no empties and they don't unload them at night.  Not at this plant anyway, lots of plants will unload them 24 hours a day, they don't care what time you get there.  Dropped the trailer and now sitting in the parking lot until probably late tomorrow morning. 

I had the thought of driving to Bartlesville and staying at a decent hotel I've stayed at many times up here - but it's 25 miles away and I decided against it.  I think it jeopardizes detention pay if you leave the plant.  I'll take the pay and stay in Hotel Truck Sleeper.  At least the restaurant across the street is open again.  Diner style food, decent, good prices had a pork chop and some greens.  Oh, it used to be we didn't get detention pay up here, hence staying at a hotel wasn't an issue.  If I wanted to anyway. There are no hotels in this little town I'm in now, it's a very small town. 

I'm not sure how they managed to get us detention pay here, it doesn't happen often.  Regardless, with that, I will make more in 2 days here than the 3 day trip to Mapleton I was going to take.  I find it odd that a new plant with all new equipment is already having issues.  They used to have trouble all the time, I figured replacing everything would eliminate all of that. 

Well, a call came into me this morning, anyway, while I was at the plant.  It was Taylor. Phoenix had gone into the bathroom and told dad that there was water all over the place.  Taylor said it was coming from the air conditioner.  So they were going to call an AC service out.  Yes, I thought, that thing needs replaced, but the problem doesn't need an HVAC repair person as she was going to do.  Pay hundreds of dollars?  I told her this happened once before. Pull the PVC off the drain, it is very likely clogged and simply needs cleaned out.  Yes, that was the problem and tho they really need to seriously consider replacing the central ac/heat, this situation didn't need additional money paid out for a simple repair. 

But I'm glad they are considering replacing it. It was deemed near dead by an AC guy last year.  It's rusted out and it continues to have problems.  At some point, they'll have to replace it. 
\
Anyway, I'm stone dead tired.  Just caught up with me finally. Time to go to sleep.

Well I get a day off. Whether I go back out tomorrow remains to be seen. Right now? I/d be happy for a couple of days off, even if it means I work the entire weekend.  I've driven over 4,000 miles in the last 8 days, that's enough for me to have a few days of rest and relaxation at home.  Of course, work may not think so, lol, I have no choice if they send me a run for tomorrow.

The world of politics drones on.  Locally, a bunch of people showed up yesterday - some heavily armed - and stood off against each other while there was a county commissioner meeting about a confederate statue that stands in the main square next to the old courthouse in this town.  No decision was made for it was a public commenting meeting.  I don't care either way about old statues. This one has sat there for 115 years, but now all of a sudden people are offended by it!

Did any of these people even know that statue was there before some person locally decided to start a change.org petition concerning it? Did they pay any attention to it at all if/when they drove by the courthouse?  Probably not.  They declare that it must be put in a museum!  Now, I wouldn't care about that, either, if there is a vote on it.  That's what should happen, the community should decide whether that statue stays or goes.

But if it did end up in a museum, what do you think all of these people that are calling these statues racially motivated and are demanding that they be put in museums will do after they are actually placed in those museums?  You guessed it - they'll play cancel culture with the museums, call the curators of the museums racists and demand these museums be defunded. 

Defunded. An ugly word, but is it even a real word?  I don't actually think so. It's something dreamed up in left think tanks to produce to the American public that is gullible enough to follow these edicts.  I'm not falling for any of this s***..  Defunding the police is not only a terrible idea, but it's likely just another ploy. Who in their right mind doesn't want the protection of police? 3 of the council members in Minneapolis that voted to defund the police there requested private security to protect them. No kidding!  Hypocrites.  This is nothing more than a power grab and a method to see how many people will just fall in line and follow blindly without questioning their illustrious leaders who know everything, the public be damned.

Who is asking the general public in  making all of these decrees? BLM makes demands and governments bow the knee and succumb to them.  Where is the rest of the public in all of this?  Nowhere to be found, we must just blindly follow and submit.  No thanks. As it stands, a bunch of citizens showed up to that meeting yesterday defying these people.  I'd defy them just to make a stand that one small group of people shouldn't get to decide for everyone what should happen with that statue. It should be put up for a vote.  I was called a racist on a local Facebook yesterday because I dared suggest that it be put to public vote. 

That's why I have no current information on my employment anywhere online, at least that I know of. I may just pay for the service that goes through all of your online info and make sure I didn't put anything on there, but I'm pretty sure I have nothing stating my current employer anywhere on there. I have my former employer on there - the cancel culture can call them all they want, I'll never be going back to them for employment anyway.  But that's the point - if I make any statements contrary, online, to these cancel culture people, the first thing they are going to do is try to find your employer and get you fired. 

These people cannot stand differing viewpoints. Whining little babies, most of them are "kids" - if you look at a lot of these protests, yes there are older adults there but a vast majority of them appear to be late teens/early 20's.  They know nothing but what they were taught.  If you don't get your way, demonize the person/people that are rejecting your stance.  If that doesn't work, tear everything down and burn it up! 
_________________

My trip today - in town - included driving by the town square. There were two people out there - and was confirmed they are there to stop anyone from toppling the statue. After that, a coffee shop stop, a trip to Taylor's work to deliver her a Macchiatto, over to chili's for lunch - of which Taylor and James joined me - then off to Kroger/s for dinner fixings.  I was going to stop at the pawn shop at Jame's suggestion, but I forgot on the way back.  There for ammo.  Just enough to have some extra in the house. 

I'm off to Mapleton tomorrow. That's the plant that has blown up 3 times.  The chemical plant ended up doing an inspection of the plant before they would allow us to start hauling loads up there.  I still haven't heard anything about if anyone was hurt in that last explosion.  It isn't a very comfortable feeling to know you are entering an area that has exploded into flames in the past, but I won't turn it down.  I would have liked 2 days off tho.  After this trip, they'll have to give me a 34 hour reset at least.  And as usual, I say nothing about my desire for time off.  I will only ask that if it's absolutely necessary. Which it will this month when we have to move from one house to another.

Provided, of course, that we find another house.  The owner finally sent a registered letter - but too late. We could legally stay another month since he didn't send the notice until well after the first. 

But I want out of there now.  That guy is a jerk. Amazing he's a Catholic Priest.  You'd expect a bit more moral standards from a person like that. 

Well whatever the case, I have very little prep work to do for tomorrow's trip.  I'm making dinner tonight and that will include extra for the trip. I have sandwich makings and I might make something else. 

With that, this post? Is ended. 

Short trip, got that over with.
I no more than got back to the yard and left for home when I got a text from yet the newest version of a dispatcher: You're going to Brownsville tomorrow.
Yayyy!  I think.
Okay, it's my favorite run, I've just gotten used to at least a day off between runs.  But hey, I have most of today off so it's not that bad.

Meanwhile, yesterday when I was getting the trailer loaded at the chemical plant.  Another driver pulls in behind me.  Most of us drivers have this text group going where we text if everything is going smoothly - or not.  This dude is a transplant from another division. Actually he's only supposed to be a temporary driver, but I know all too well that he's around probably permanently.  He was gloating the other day that he will never have to learn how to unload the trailers.

Thusly, he will never get any of the crappy runs.  I bit my tongue on that one.  There's nothing I can say or do that will change anything, no sense in starting needless trouble.

But, this dude also refused to participate in the group text - even tho he's in it and takes advantage of the information that is given.  So, I texted the group, saying: "3rd load done, 4th load driver who does not participate in reports is pulling in".

He had a freaking cow, lmao.  Exactly what is that supposed to mean???

Elaborate for me!!!

I politely wrote back that it means that if you get to the plant and something is wrong and they aren't loading for whatever reason, it would be courteous to let other drivers know of the delay.  Or at least contact your manager so they can let others behind you know.

This is the driver that was sitting at the plant on first load a while back that wasn't getting loaded because the plant's pump wouldn't turn on.  He was in the group, he didn't bother to text anyone and he didn't bother to contact the manager at the very least and tell him what is going on.  I lost several hours of on duty time waiting there.

Anyway, he complained to both my manager and his manager. He is still under his manager in Louisiana even tho he's working out of our yard.  So when I get to the yard today, my manager calls me into his office and - nicely - asked me to please not call out other drivers. Some of them are easily offended babies, he explained and you know what people like that do: they complain to everyone.  I had an idea that this driver was going to complain after seeing his reaction on text messaging.

I didn't actually say his name on the group text, hence no one else knew who it was - until he texted that is with his faux outrage.  My manager - the new guy - said he would be working to get everyone to at least contact him whenever there is a hold up.  Fair enough, but that's what everyone should be doing instinctively anyway if they aren't going to text all of us.  They all know if the plant isn't working, everyone coming in after them is going to be delayed.

I just said look, when I'm at the plant I'm focused on getting in and getting out of there as fast as possible. I have a schedule for every run.  I can tell you where I will stop on longer runs and approximate time I will arrive at destination.  Many of us rely on getting in and out of the plant in a timely manner.  For me, the biggest thing is not turning a two day run into a 3 day run, or 3 into 4, etc.

He did throw me a compliment: I have to call more than half the drivers in this division to tell them I need their trailer back the next day,  please get it back here.  You, however, I don't ever have to ask anything.  I give you the run, you get it done without any need to call or bother you.  You're one of the few I don't have to worry about.

That was a nice thing to say, I thought.  If I do experience any delays on the road, he's the first one I text.
___________

Tuesday morning.  Off to Brownsville wonderland - in the rain. 

Happy Independence Day to everyone!
Beautiful day in northeast Texas. Well, it's hot and humid but oh well lol.
Good day to re-read the Declaration of Independence.

The owner of the other house where Maria lives has changed his mind yet again. Now he is backtracking on his offer of staying in the house for an extra $100 per month bringing the rent up to $900 monthly.  This after he told us we could continue to live there.

Outrageous at best.  You can't just tell people they can live there and then arbitrarily change your mind. This is the roof over their heads, not some installment loan for an appliance or something.  So we are left scrambling.  There isn't much available in this town right now. The monthly cost isn't important anymore, either, since the other lady over there is going to pay for it out of her trust account - inheritance from her father. He must have had some serious money for all the recipients are suddenly quite well off.  In this lady's case, tho, the money can only be used for housing expenses.

I don't know why and it's none of my business. I'll just be happy to have all of those bills out of my name.  Maria will be living virtually for free with her.  We just have to find a place....
____________

And Sunday early. 
We lit off a lot of fireworks last night.  That was a great time, even with the heat and humidity.  Odd when you walk back into a cold house after being out in that for hours, like walking into a walk-in freezer. 

Home, dogs were okay, Aspyn a bit shaken up but I left them both in my room, I'm not going through her jumping the fence and taking off because of loud noises like that again.  But, of course, people in our neighborhood were popping firecrackers and such, until at least 1:00 am.  Yup, I was awake until then. Then, after all of that finally died down, a loud clap of thunder.  That has gone on all the rest of the night.  I haven't gotten very much sleep and going to work right now is not on the top of things I want to to do today. I would have just laid in bed until at least 9:-00 am and tried to get some more sleep.

Considering the thunder, I have my doubts the plant is even open right now.

Whatever the case, it's going to be  a very long day. 

Well enough of that - the previous post that is. Excepting that I found out the hard way this morning that there is ammo hoarding going on, even the online suppliers are out of the most popular rounds. I was specifically looking for 1,000 rounds of 9mm and found none of it available on 2 handfuls of popular ammo sales sites.

I did find 40 caliber, but there is only one of those in the house.  I think there's 3 9mm's here.  I used to just go to Walmart for pistol ammo.  Academy Sports probably has it, but driving 37 miles one way is not on my list of things to do.  I'll just have to wait and see if they all get their supplies back up.  Like, check it every day on certain sites with the best deals.

Trip to West Virginia tomorrow. 3 day trip - usually - sometimes 4 depending on a variety of things that can slow down the process, not the least of which is the loading plant and traffic.  Really would like the option of having a firearm in the truck, now that I'm thinking about self defense. 

Anyway it's first load, the worst one IMO and I think 4 of those in a row now?  Like they think I'm some sort of early bird out for the worms? I'd take the 9:00 am loading slot and be very happy with that.  But I never say anything to them about it, it's not worth potentially limiting loads I am getting if they think I am just going to complain. 

The call did come from the lady in Amarillo tho, as the new setup has been implemented and underway.  3 days off this time including today.  Not complaining about that tho, I really wanted a longer rest.  Our industry and our particular division is finally being affected by the virus and economic shut down. I knew this would be coming sooner or later, I'm thankful we were as busy as we were up until now.

With that, time to finish laundry, dishes and mow the front lawn. 

The Desolation of America: COVID 19 and Cancel Culture.

About to pull the trigger on 1,000 rounds of ammo.  No pun was originally intended.  That will be 9mm.  Probably 500 rounds for the 40 and whatever I can find for deals on 12 gauge.  But the 1,000 rounds comes in a big box and handily stored.  Also going to get a couple of high capacity magazines for the pistols and looking at perhaps obtaining either a .45 ACP or a high powered rifle. 

Why? Well, if y'all think this situation is going to just disappear, I have news for you.  Okay, I just have an opinion.  I'm going to be prepared all the way around for come what may. Food, ammo, buns, water.  Hunting rifle.  That can both be home self protection and deer hunting.  Lots of deer in these parts. Good eating too. 

I've never been a prepper in the true sense of the word, I've just liked to keep enough food around to last a few months.  In case something happens.  I usually think of natural disasters when thinking of that.  But now? The price of meat has skyrocketed.  They are still rationing certain food items at the grocery store and meat is still being rationed, but probably not many people hoarding it at the current prices. We've gone up to $17 for a 3 pound chub of 70% "lean" ground beef.  It's good for hamburgers, but not much use for dishes that you don't want a lot of fat drippings getting into everything. 

I've got 3 months worth of food if rationed correctly.  That's everything from dried beans to rice, tuna fish, all kinds of canned and dried goods and 2 freezers almost full of meat.  I've got a new generator to run those freezers if the power goes out.  Really, the main thing we are not necessarily fully prepared with yet is ammo.  You can have all the guns in the world but if you have no ammo for them they are useless in a combat situation. 

Call it overreacting and being paranoid if you like, I'm just calling it being prepared for the worst. These people want to tear down a statue in our little town and surrounding towns.  I believe it's all confederate statues, I have no personal interest in them excepting they are a part of American history.  The one near us I think has been there 100 years. It's made out of granite, I believe, some sort of rock anyway, it wouldn't topple quite as easily as you are seeing those statues being toppled in the news.

The point? We are not immune to this nonsense and opportunists in the name of protesting - otherwise known as domestic terrorists - leave no opportunity behind to loot, burn down buildings and assault people.  They aren't coming into this neighborhood and engaging in that s*** without a battle.  People will die and blood will be shed if they come here to burn down our houses or steal/.oot our home and inflict carnage.  And that's perfectly legal in Texas - the castle doctrine here is amazingly good. 

What's going to happen if we get wave 2 of the COVID-19?  People are already facing the end of the federal government stimulus for unemployment at the end of July.  Some states the rent is due again - and people without jobs have no way to pay it.  The stimulus checks were a speck of dust in the pool of outstanding bills for people who are no longer working and have no source of income.  Couple that desperation with the increasing demands for defunding the police, calling white people racists and white supremacists and creating a hostile environment for law enforcement in this nation.

There is a great divide forming.  You are either a part of this outrageous cancel culture or you are a patriotic citizen who stands up for the heritage of our great nation and to let people live freely as they please - with certain constraints of course - but still free to live their lives as they see fit.  The cancel culture is demonizing far more than just monuments and statues. They are now targeting Facebook - which has lost many billions of dollars in ad revenues as they cancel culture ramps up it's attempt to coerce FB into censoring white propaganda.  What is that propaganda? Trump and his supporters, I found out after reading several articles to try and get to the bottom of it. 

Will Zuckerberg bow to their demands? I'm guessing yes, his wealth is literally dropping off a cliff in front of his face on a daily basis.  All major corporations have been bowing the knee to this notion that most if not all white people are racist and that we should bow in repentance to people who are claiming to be affected by actions from our forefathers centuries ago.  Welcome to the age of the people who got participation trophies, were coddled when they should have been spanked and are spoiled brats that have had no real hardship in their lives. 

I can tell you unabashedly that I am not bowing to anyone, regardless of race, and taking an oath.  I am not a racist, I don't need to repent for something I am not engaging in and if I did feel the need to repent, it would be on my knees in front of the Lord Jesus Christ, not mere mortal men and women.  These people have been emboldened and are taking it for every inch they can get out of it.  If you feel the need to repent to mortals, remember there is scripture in the bible if you give that book any credence at all that says you are to do otherwise.

Exodus 20:5 “You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me.”


This is referring to idolatry, which in my estimation is exactly what people are being coerced into doing when they are bowing before another race and making an oath.  There is a spiritual war going on here, most people don't understand it.  There is always warfare going on in the heavenlies, but now we are seeing a battle for the souls of men and women that I haven't seen in my lifetime.  God's will will always prevail, He has a plan and it will be executed. But that doesn't mean you just sit around and do nothing. He who has ears to hear, let him hear! 

I'm not imploring anyone to do anything. I'm just looking at the writing on the wall and understanding that we may very well be in the end times.  Whether we are or aren't, the reality is that anyone that has the ability to should stock up on food, water, basic supplies that will ride you out through the coming storm.  I'm taking this as far as going to the store today and buying up all kinds of vegetable seeds.  They aren't expensive and I want them around.  I have a greenhouse - unused at the moment and I was going to get rid of it but I have changed my mind since all of this rioting and virus has come around and literally transformed the way we live our lives. 

There has never, IMO, been a stronger case to at least stock up a few months worth of supplies than what we re going through and seeing in front of our faces right now.  I live out in the country, there is a cattle ranch that sells beef on the outskirts of town. There are farmers that grown all kinds of produce - they show up at the farmer's market every Saturday.  I scored 2 giant tomatoes the other day, I mean big big tomatoes.  This area is filled with deer and wild hogs.  Food is in abundance out here, populations are low and the chances of any rioting happening out here is probably pretty low compared to big cities.  But, if COVID continues to interfere with food production - namely the meat processing plants - then what?

We're already seeing inflation, I said this a month ago but in the meat department at your local grocery store, you can see it for yourself.  I'm taking other steps as well.  Things that can be bartered if money becomes worthless. 

Look, I'm watching right now a conference of these "officials", Fauci in particular, going on about staying 6 feet apart, wearing masks, avoiding crowds etc etc etc.  How long do these people think that we can keep America shut down?  This is simply an ingredient to the recipe of chaos in America.  When people start getting desperate enough - and that will start to happen when government stimulus disappears unless they extend it - the s*** is going to hit the fan.  These are unelected officials telling the entire nation how we are to live and engage ourselves in society.

Y'all do what you will.  There are numerous people I know that are doing the same thing.  If nothing becomes of it, I'll do the same thing as I always do with the food. Eat it all up and start over. 

Unmotivated to do much of anything today.
I was a bit repulsed by this state's governor shutting down bars shortly after he reopened them.  I don't go to bars often, it's the idea of the government dictating business when they can and cannot operate because - reasons - pandemic - "state of emergency".  What a wonderful way to authorize authoritarian control over your fellow citizens and ruin their livelihoods in the name of "safety".

A bar 2 towns away had it's liquor license suspended after the bar owner told Texas authorities she wasn't going to shut it down.

Whatever the case, I was invited to go to Longview today with everyone to celebrate a friend's birthday at Texas Roadhouse.  Not my personal friend - we have talked alot but we're not friends in the sense of being close or anything like that - I said no thanks.  Just wasn't in the mood.

I ended up watching the boys - they were going to take them to Maria's.  They have been cranky and crying and getting in trouble all day long before parents left.  So I wasn't exactly thinking that was going to change. But after about 30 minutes after mom and dad left - and sending one of them off to their room for 10 minutes- they came around, settled down and stopped all  the bs.  I am quite serious, they were getting into trouble alllllll dayyyyyy long. Doing things they know they aren't supposed to do, mom and dad getting on them all the time about it.

_________________

That was Sunday, now Monday morning.  I would expect a run to be sent for tomorrow since this is day two of being off, but who knows now that we are all being handed over to yet another dispatcher in Amarillo Texas.  The one that I am getting knows what she's doing, but there is room for problems in making that kind of handover.  I really wouldn't care yet another day off as long as I get another run before the end of the pay period on the books for next week's pay.

The 5 year old here passed tests to enter into the STEM program, which is described as follows: "STEM is a curriculum based on the idea of educating students in four specific disciplines — science, technology, engineering and mathematics — in an interdisciplinary and applied approach. Rather than teach the four disciplines as separate and discrete subjects, STEM integrates them into a cohesive learning paradigm based on real-world applications."

Those are good fields to learn, can produce a very nice annual salary and has some value to it.  These people going to college and getting degrees in art and useless stuff that only a fraction of the people getting degrees in such fields actually find employment are wasting their time and money.  But this is early on training, which is great.  I dunno how they teach a 5 year old science and such, but then again, I haven't been in school in many decades. 

And you have the news. Constant Trump bashing. Constant new narratives such as the NYT coming out saying that Trump did nothing about intel that shows russians paid to have US military personnel targeted and that x amount were killed.  Then it comes out that Trump wasn't briefed on it. After the bashing of his alleged incompetence, it comes out that it wasn't a credible story, hence he wasn't briefed.  This is endless.  It's an election year and the haters will invent stories to make him look incompetent and always attempting to make him look as tho he is in bed with Putin.  It's pretty outrageous that news organizations are no longer interested in simply providing the news and let the viewer decide, they are now engaged in nothing more than sheer propaganda. 

So, I shut the news off after maybe half an hour of it, just don't want to hear it.  The Dow Jones is up 329 points 15 minutes into the session.  I have no idea how this economy is going to play out with states shutting down again - and the effect it will have on the stock market.  I'm not necessarily worried - retirement is a long ways off for me. At least 9 years.  We just went through a "crash" that had the market down into the teens and now it's in the 25k range.  I know I am not "supposed" to, but check my 401k's after every DJ session.  Just because it lost so much money in such a short period of time and then just like that, it came all the way back up - and for a few days a bit more.

Okay, so Taylor is going to her dad's wedding next month, James was going to be going to Missouri with the boys to visit family during that time. Work, however, has panned out to stop him from that endeavor.  I thought I would be having the house to myself lol.  I even thought about travel. There are some great deals to be had - but where can you go?  Lol, no thanks on wasting the money.  Today I'll call about the boat instead and see if they're ready for me to take it on a test run.  Get out on the lake - someday.  Boating has become very popular, but if you want a new one, you best be loaded with cash. If you get an old one, you likely going to have to do work to it.  Not really a win situation either way.  I didn't want to go into payments on something I didn't know how often I would be using it.

Anyway, there are some things to do here today that I want to get done.  Namely, patches of bare ground out front. We got organic compost and a bag of seed. Just need to till up the ground, put the seed down and cover it with the compost. Nothing to involved, it's not a huge amount of area that needs it. 

With that, time to get about the day's business. 

Ya know, when you are trying to drive on 2 hours sleep? That makes for a miserable day.  I woke up a few hours after going to bed 2 nights ago with a hellish fire sore throat and a huge headache.  I'm getting sick again? After just getting over whatever it was I was inflicted with?  This went on all night long, I didn't sleep after that.  Trust me, I tried.

Going to work, get the truck hooked to the trailer, get to the plant.  Figured I try to sleep again while waiting.  Of course, we can't have the trucks running so I opened up the windows. That was a huge mistake. I had no idea a thunderstorm was coming. In fact, I had actually fallen asleep when a clap of thunder hit so loud, I literally jumped out of bed, opened the sleeper curtain half expecting to see the plant on fire. 

That didn't happen, thankfully, but the rain was driving through the driver side window soaking the entire interior of the cab of the truck. I quickly moved to get all paperwork out of there and into the sleeper. I have to give the keys to the operators when I pull up.  I do have spare keys, yes, but to turn the ignition to the on position? The trailer makes a very loud beeping noise. A bunch of safety stuff on the trucks.  I got out of that plant eventually and was fighting fatigue. 

The reststop I usually stop at to go to the bathroom before going into Houston?  I never sleep there. Yesterday, I did. 30 minutes worth, felt no better, traveled down the road.  300 miles later, I stopped again to sleep again. Just the way i was feeling.  This time, I was deep asleep after the alarm went off 40 minutes later.  That helped me to get down to Brownsville and get the run over with.

A bunch of the mexican drivers were in the yard along with some management - drinking heavily.  Huge coolers full of beer and bottles and bottles of liquor.  They alwasy get drunk as hell.  They wanted me to join them. I had  a few beers and was entertained by them singing to me in English lol.  I sat there a few hours, actually, but finally decided bed was calling me.  Sleep came quickly and rather forcefully, 7 hours later and 5:30 am alarm went off. 

Just another normal drive back besides Houston, which had all kinds of freeway shutdowns for construction - nothing showing on the Houston app for ridiculous traffic snarls and nothing on the Houston digital signs .  I ended up going 25 miles out of the way to even get through that city. 

Home, no one at the yard and likely off at least another 2 days.  

Maria came over for dinner, James/Taylor invited her.  I was asked if I would have a problem with Kim taking over the rent and all the payments on the other house?  Lol. Hard decision.  Sure! Kim is getting rich with inheritance but is no longer going to be required to move to Arizona to get that inheritance.  The big question was whether I would agree to it and whether they could get rid of De the newest lady there that is in a perpetual bad mood.  Umm, yes?  

Well there's more but I'm exhausted. Time for bed.  

Well the other drivers were wrong, my manager had told me that it wouldn't be "that long" and that he was "working on it".  That long, as in 4 or 5 days before I get another run.  Wasn't really looking forward to it, there's nothing much to do. I don't mind a couple of days in between runs, but 4 or 5 days is just too much.

With that said, he texted me yesterday and told me that I would have a run going out on Friday.  He didn't say where to, could be anywhere really, but that's a welcome bit of info.  Just that it's another weekend down the tubes when everyone else is off work and at least other people around to converse with. 

Well an entire day passed. Walmart for dog food, Chili's for a bite and home to do laundry. And the text for work came this afternoon as well as a phone call while looking for stuff at Walmart.

It was the manager.  He wanted to explain to me the new setup coming. I already knew about it, but I didn't know when it was taking place, as a higher level manager had informed me before this dude came along about the new scene they were creating.

Basically, they have brought/are bringing dispatchers to a location in Amarillo to all work together out of the same building. The company feels it will help in seamless dispatching.  When one division needs help, they can just "yell across the room" basically and talk with each other about who is available for what. 

It will, in theory, open up opportunities for drivers that are sitting idle for too long of a period of time to go do something else, somewhere else.  He mentioned call and demand, a thing I have no interest in but made no comments.  Call and demand is being "sent out into the system" to work for someone else, basically. Our company gets paid for the driver and still pays the driver, but we are working for another employer. 

You get home maybe once a month. I'm not that kind of driver, i want nothing to do with it, if it comes my way, I'm going to politely say no thanks.  I don't want to work for another employer and I definitely am not staying out on the road for 30 days at a time, screw that.  My interest in this company was the fact that it's - semi close to home. 35 miles, not that much really.  I get to go home after almost every trip. Only here and there do I decide to stay in the truck in the yard if there is a run the next morning, early. 

The point is, things are continuing to change with the new company takeover - it's been over a year now,  but the changes keep coming.  Right now they're broke and probably desperate.  I just do my job, go above and beyond when possible, get the job done quickly regardless.

Anyway, I'm going down to Brownsville tomorrow. Not really expecting any detention pay on this trip because they had two drivers bobtail back up the other day, I would think they'll have several empties there. But, the last time i thought that, they didn't.  Who knows.  Just go with the flow with all of these changes. Some stuff I don't like, but nothing I'd quit over.  Just nice perks that have permanently disappeared. I'm still on track to having last year's pay be this year's pay and that's fine by me.

Anyway, first load, early rise, time to go to bed. 

Well, home again.
Uneventful trip to Brownsville. In fact, made it down there in record time, as I was only at the plant to load for maybe 2 hours.  That's how Sundays go when the right people are working there. When the wrong people are working there, it can and usually does take significantly longer, especially with a certain individual that works at the scale house that does the final paperwork you have to take with you before you leave the plant.  BOL - Bill of Lading is required, especially while hauling hazmat loads.

I waited down there overnight and all the next day -until 9:00 pm actually, when 2 empties finally showed up. There was no good reason to drive all night long, so I just decided to sleep there another night, get up early and get back earlier than normal.  OK, so now that that's out of the way, something is going on at the plant where the product goes into Mexico, so return deliveries of empties are going into the days realm instead of overnight.

Meaning that the two trucks that came down the next day full of product? They were told to turn around and bobtail back to the yard instead of waiting for empties.  Bummer, I thought, for them anyway.  I got ample detention pay, which is a good thing because now I'm hearing that not only is this plant having issues, the other plant that is one of the biggest accounts has been sold and they aren't taking any product until sometime in July.  You eliminate those two accounts? There is only sporadic work.  A couple of  loads per month to West Virginia.  Another account has canceled all deliveries to all of their plants.

They cited the fact of the global slowdown and less demand.  Another account saying they are taking 1/4th the amount of product they normal use, for the same reason as indicated before.  The Brownsville run is really the only thing that saves us, without it they would furlough a lot of us drivers and I would most likely be on that list since I have lessor seniority than a lot of them.  Not all of them, but certainly a larger percentage of them have seniority over me.

Several drivers went home. I was informed by another driver it will be next week before I get another load.  I asked him how long he had been waiting - he said since Sunday and going out on Thursday.  So his dire prediction probably won't come to pass, it's probably going to be a 3 to 4 day stint in between loads and there is nothing anyone can do about that.  I have enjoyed some excellent paychecks in the last 3 weeks, this week should be good, then next week with only one trip on it that will be well down.

The point, however, is that I can sustain a bit of lower paychecks.  I build my checking account up - and then we go through stuff like this and it goes back down again. About the time I get anywhere near a grand in there is when I will start to wonder what I should do next.

Well whatever. Now I have to figure out what to do with the next 3 or 4 days.  The boat isn't fixed yet.  A movie might be nice, tho won't take up all that time I haven't been to a theater in quite a while - well I suppose no one has since corona started.  They've opened the theater back up in our small town, but they only have showings at evening time during the weekdays.

Uhhh, not sure really lol.  I don't think travel is a good idea since most of the world is in some sort of lockdown mode, it's no better anywhere else than here.  Lol cruises aren't even available to book until October, at least the site I just tried. No matter, I have no desire to drive clear down to Galveston.

Just another stay at home deal.

With that, I will find something to do in this house!

Editing: Just got off the phone with the boat repair place.  They finally got the parts in.  I have my suspicions that this fix isn't going to make much of a difference, but we'll see what happens. They are going to install the parts and then have me come and do a test run on the nearest lake. 

My sleep is really weird.  One night I'll sleep 10 to 11 hours - when I'm home that is I don't ever do that on the road unless I am waiting on an appointment time or waiting on an empty trailer.  The next night, I'll get 4 or less hours of sleep and be awake most of the night attempting to figure out - why I can't sleep.  Nothing new, but when it happens on a night where I am getting up early for work to drive all day long?

Yeah, today was no fun.  I have to really push myself to get to my destination on such days - today is Brownsville.  Since it's Sunday I automatically assumed there would be no empty trailers down here, which gives me more motivation to get down here.  That assumption was correct.  2 full trailers sitting there, no empty trailers but I didn't see any other drivers waiting. Odd, since there were two full trailers, usually they pull the loaded trailers out and then bring back empty ones for the waiting drivers.  Tho it could be they might be around town somewhere and decided not to stay in this yard - which is full of trailers, the only place to park is out front, full of water-filled potholes and no bathroom. 

I got here early, too, like probably the earliest I have ever arrived down here.  I could almost take a hotel and make it worth it - but I'm too burned out to even drive out of this yard.  I got the trailer dropped, my paperwork done, checked the other two trailers sitting there to ensure they are full and not empties and parked out front.  I"m here for the night.  I wouldn't mind having some wings from Wing Stop delivered.  But other than that, I'm pretty fried right now, just that's its wayyyyy too early to be thinking about going to bed.

Yesterday - was interesting.  James and the boys at a friends house, Taylor wanted alone time, but apparently not from me lol.  We went to Lowe's, went to Chili's after that and then home, chatting and then having some conversation occur that I won't disclose on the internet.  No, it wasn't sexual lol and no I'd never go after another' man's lady, but it was very personal stuff and would be inappropriate to disclose it here. 

Despite that, we had fun with an empty house.  Some friends of hers kept asking to come over, but she wasn't having it.  Nothing wrong with the friends, she just wanted the house alone, no kids running up and down the hallways, screaming, crying, etc etc etc.  My son texted me so after talking awhile, I gave him her phone number - he knows Japanese, she is learning it. They hit it right off since they are both into anime.  Caleb, my son, is one of those people everyone loves.  She ended up in the pool, I didn't feel like it.  I went to bed with her still in the pool. 

Their cat has decided to reclaim me as it's own after dumping me some months ago.  So it sleeps on my bed now.  Lol.  Cats are unfathomable, can't figure them out, don't know what's going on in their minds, dogs get very jealous lol.  Well there's two cats there, the other one wants nothing to do wtih me.  I'm fine with that, my dogs are always down to get petted lol.

My son called me and wished me a happy father's day - we chatted for an hour about the degrading situation going on in this nation.  He and his wife had finally decided to buy their first handgun. Citing the crap going on with rioting and overall desire to increase their own sense of safety.

He then told me they had X amount of dollars saved up - a pretty good chunk of change - for a down payment on a house.  Their rent in their apartment is going up to $1,250 per month after their lease expires - which is really high. The reports I have been reading about the Phoenix area are apparently true with rising rent and housing costs.  The American Dream is still alive and kicking, don't let the media fool you into thinking otherwise.  My guess is they'll get a 4 bedroom house. Lots of those in that whole metro area. But if they're going to have kids, which he insists they are, they are going to need room for them. I dunno when they are going to take that route, I didn't ask, that's really not my business lol. 

Well I think I'm going to end this.  Drowsy, attention span waning, I may just very well go to sleep early.

I was soooo tired yesterday.  Driving was a chore.  Moreso than usual when I'm tired and still have hundreds of miles to go.  It is highly likely I will never do the Houston trip - which was the previous trip before this one - like that again.  Getting up that early just messes with my head and takes days to recover from.  Drive down there the day before or convince the manager that yes, they don't care if we show up later because of their demands.  They weren't even ready to take the load off when I got down there. Their tank was at 150 psi, that's about 100 pounds of pressure too high for me to open the valves and start letting liquid out. I only mention the Houston trip because it was still messing with me yesterday and that was days ago. 

I can't even go into what the rednecks at the plant I was at yesterday were saying about BLM.  A bit racist, putting it mildly, replete with N bombs.  They asked me if I knew what dan means.  Dan?  Dumb Ass n******.  Uhh, yea, sorry, that isn't amusing. But, no one said there isn't any racism going on in this nation. I just don't believe it's near as bad as the media would like to portray it.  But then again, who knows?  People like this two, 50's aged white male adults I was talking with yesterday could be more prevalent than I believe.  It's Alabama, tho, that's the south, probably more of it in that region than other regions of the US.

No, I'm not naming them or calling their company and trying to have them fired.  They can believe whatever they want, I don't have to agree with it but I don't believe in destroying people's lives because of it.  This cancel culture was born out of the pit of hell and I'm not going to engage in it.  I can guarantee  you that if I did call the company and filed a complaint, those two dudes would be immediately fired.  Providing I was believed, of course.  It's a very large corporation and they have a name and reputation to sustain.  I could go on social media, find pics of these two guys, post them on Reddit or Twitter or wherever it works and call them racists and then see their - lives destroyed.

This is what is going on in America right now.  The Cancel Culture.  It's an immediate effect, as anyone that follows the news knows full well.  A bunch of spoiled little devils that weren't reprimanded or spanked when they were kids grew up and here's what we got. The participation trophy holders, envious, selfish, little brats.  You offended me! I'm going to get you fired!  There's a reason I don't have my current company I work for posted anywhere  on the internet.  I think I took a pic of me and the truck and posted it somewhere that I need to find and get rid of it. These people don't care if your life is ruined.

Back to these two guys. Racism is bad.  I fully agree with that, based on the Bible and God's principles, not some earthly concept.  But - so is a lot of other stuff people do.  People that are otherwise "law abiding" citizens, got some "stuff" going on.  I'm not going to spend my life going around trying to find the skeletons in people's closets. We've all got them and we all should probably have a bit more humble attitude towards others whose skeletons aren't in a closet, they're out in the open.  These guys must have figured I would agree with them, because they full know the aftermath of what would happen if they were exposed.

I'm just saying all of that because I gave a lot of thought to that when i was driving back yesterday - 10 plus hours of driving gives plenty of thinking time lol. I grew up in racism, I know how these guys think and why they think it. When I submitted my life to the Lord, my thinking changed.  Dramatically.  God is the Creator, we are the Creation. All skin colors, all nations of the earth. 

Well anyway, daddy left about 30 minutes ago with the boys.  Mom wanted time off from the kids.  She loves her kids, but she gets really annoyed with them.  They are young and they are very needy at that age.  Dad went to an old friend's place about an hour's drive from here, they are going to spend the next 2 days there. The 5 year old told me he's sorry he's leaving and informed me that he misses me when I leave.  I thought it odd they were separating like that for a few days, but then again, sometimes that's healthy, I think, for a couple after they've been together so long and especially now when hours are low and they are home together a lot.  I dunno, whatever works.  I was going to leave myself after finding this out today, I assumed she was having lady friends over. 

Nope, she said, I want alone time.  However, that alone time apparently doesn't mean that I am not going to be involved with it lol.  She restarted Keto, so dinner tonight.  Then she wants to go swimming so can I help take the cover off the pool?  Sure.  I'm not swimming tho, don't really feel like it. Oh, we carefully take the cover off the pool now to make sure the leaves and junk that has accumulated on it don't end up in the pool, thusly defeating the purpose of having a cover.

And then asked if I had any plans tomorrow.  Nope, I'm happy to be home a few days.  We're friends, mind you, this isn't anything sexual at all.  Just saying that because I know how some people think.  But we are good friends, pretty close as friends go.  I don't know what her mind was on that, but I suspect going out to eat somewhere is on the list.  I wouldn't mind going out to eat, but I'm not cheating again.  After the last cheat? No thanks.  It takes too long to lose the weight.  I'm down to 211 this morning after checking, that's going in the right direction, finally.  I decided today that I wouldn't cheat again until I'm at 200 pounds.  And after that, no cheats until 195 pounds. And after that, probably 190 and then? I'm good.  190 is 34 or maybe 33 pant waist size. Good enough. 

Uhhh, like 8 hours later, lol.  Got distracted with James getting the kids and rushing around everywhere to get everything and pack it in his truck. 

I'm going to Brownsville early Sunday, that's all I have left to say here, lol. Tomorrow off. 

Long day.

I woke up before the alarm went off - that happens pretty regularly - at 3:48 am, alarm set for 4:00 am.  Not feeling very good, at all. I could have slept another 3 hours.  But, I got up, got the day going and left the house, dogs in tow and dropped them off at the other house.

James has been watching them at our house for the last 2 runs - but that was by his request.  He likes my doggies lol.  Pretty much everyone loves Addler excepting people that are terrified of dogs and then see this gargantuan monster coming at them.  Or just staring at them. My Shepherd is also very lovable, she has a very nice disposition.  Very loyal, doesn't much care when strangers come around, she gets skittish. I dunno if that's a Shepherd trait or probably more to do with how everyone before me treated her. 

Over to Maria's - remember that Kim, another lady tenant there - told me that Maria is going to move with her to Arizona not long ago, but to keep it a secret that she told me.  Well, so far, Maria has said nothing about it.  And buying more stuff for the house - she got a stimulus check and her food stamp payments have doubled since the coronavirus took effect.  She hasn't been asking me for anything lately, which is a welcome relief.  Won't last forever, I suppose.  I still offer anyway, that's my nature. 

Dropped the dogs off and off to work. The "license restricted" driver had just pulled in from all night driving, from where else - Brownsville. That's all he is doing.  His paychecks must be pretty nice.  He is being forced, however, to go home and deal with his license. I can only surmise other drivers are bitching about him getting all these sweet runs.  The loaner driver - was hooked up to a trailer that only goes to brownsville and yet another new driver - a manager's buddy - also headed to - where else - but Brownsville. 

Yup, that stuff doesn't set well with me.  I guess I can't really complain, I won't get any detention pay on my current run but it's 1,300 miles round trip plus stop pay and other pay they give me, it still pays decent, as long as I can make it back tomorrow it's all fine.  I had 20 minutes to spare making it here today - the plant scale house held me up for a long time waiting on paperwork.  I was bound and determined to get here, tho, I don't want a 3 day trip made out of a 2 day trip.  And this is the other Decatur run, where 2 rednecks unload the truck, hilarious to listen to these guys, but they know what they're doing. 

Once I finally got on the road, tho, I experienced no delays and I took the route going through Lousiana on I-20 versus the other route going up through Arkansas, over to Memphis and back over to Alabama.  That route is ridiculous. It's 50 miles less driving, yes, but you don't save any time what with all the road construction going on in Memphis and the endless towns slowing you down.  I'm not the biggest fan of Interstate driving, but in this case, the Interstate is the only way to go. 

Well that's enough lol.  I got done here with over 12 hours to wait until the morning to offload and go back to Longview.  But early bedtime is looking better and better. I can get up earlier than I normally would on this run, get out my Keurig coffee machine and brew my own, fresh, hot, delicious coffee! And yes, I have heavy whipping cream in my refrigerator to whiten it up. 

G'nite : )

Uhh, yeah.

Yesterday's 2:45 am wake up alarm call was a bit much.  I mean, it was either get up early and not waste an entire Sunday sitting in a truck, or - drive to Houston and sit in a truck for 16 hours waiting for the next morning to arrive.  I'm not going to say which alternative I will use next time I get dumped with this s*** load, as I can't say either alternative is very pleasant.

It was even more amazing, however, on my way back after unloading the trailer - 5 hours in 90 plus degree heat and high humidity, they weren't prepared for our arrival even tho they knew last week we were coming as they should since they were ordering the stuff - the manager asking me if I wanted a Brownsville run today.

Look folks, this driving stuff takes a toll on you after a while. You have to have a day off here and there.  Sitting in trucks all the time gets old.  I have been busting my @$$ lately and that's fine, my paychecks will start looking healthy.  Still, I only had 15 hours left on the 70 clock, I told my manager sure, I'll take it but I'll have to take a 34 hour reset when I get down there.  He didn't reply for a while but called me and we discussed it. He was doing me a favor for taking this Houston run.  I appreciated it but said I'd rather take my 34 reset at home.  So, I am going out tomorrow - wherever I don't know but it's definitely not Houston it takes them quite a while to empty out an entire tank full of product into all of those little cylinders they pump it into, load them onto a truck and deliver to customers.

Anyway, turns out he didn't actually need me, he had another driver that would take it, he just wanted to play makeup.  I'll take whatever load tomorrow - I think it will be another Brownsville - and it will be the same effect since I had to take my 34.

I just got done sleeping 11 hours.  Yup, that's how worn out I was.  I could have slept longer but you gotta force yourself up at some point.  I literally could just lay in bed all day long today and think nothing of it.
 ____________

Near end of day.  Taylor is back on the diet.  She didn't last long last time - not judging her just saying.  She's going to her dad's wedding later on this year and wants to lose fat. I made ribs today - replete with keto friendly rub and keto friendly, sugar-free bbq sauce that is absolutely delicious.  I mean, I hope she sticks with it. I said to her to get the word "cheat" out of her mind and stick with it at least 30 days.  I dunno how that went over, but if you go 30 days on this diet and lose 25 pounds, that's what will motivate you to keep with it. Plus you are starting to form new habits.

I am not cheating for a while.  I do it and I instantly gain 5 pounds, my belly explodes and I'm left wondering how that happens so fast? Whatever, it isn't worth it. And now that there are 2 other people doing it - at least temporarily - that's quite helpful.  I'm always on my own, no one else is normally dieting. 

I am going back to Decatur, Alabama tomorrow. Not the one I went to last time - where they don't have a clue what they're doing and their pump isn't working - but to the other one 2 miles away, where the dudes that unload know what they're doing.  They always want out of there, as fast as  possible, every single time they talk about where they're going for breakfast. They're total rednecks, I get along with them well lmao. 

And I am not going through Arkansas and Memphis. There is far too much construction going on. I can drive the extra 50 miles going I-10 to Birmingham and then a 90 mile stretch to the plant north of there and get there faster.  Or the same time and get more money. 

Uhh, that's it.  For now lol. 

This day got ridiculous.

A trailer came into the Brownsville yard around 1:20 pm.  I texted the manager as soon as it came in - not going to be able to make 7:30 am load time tomorrow morning. 

I heard nothing back from him, got busy doing my pre-trip inspection and paperwork.  I texted him again half an hour later - So what are you going to do? He texted back "I'm working on it".  Then he asked if I could make the 10:30 spot.  Probably was my answer.  So, I was still dumped with this ridiculous Houston run.  Whatever.

I then texted him and said I would just leave Monday morning and get there before 11:00 am.  It was then he decided to call me after he said the work order says 8:00 am delivery time.  Yes, I had replied, but they give us til 11 since they are playing this game where we have to load one day and deliver the next.  It USED to be a 1 day trip - load, drive down there, deliver, go back. 

This manager needs to get his shit together.  But then again, they didn't give him any training.  According to him, the company is broke - coronavirus, other divisions are bleeding money - they didn't want to train him, just ask other dispatchers questions. That's just plain stupid and putting that person in a position of failure.  We got into a very lengthy discussion about this particular account. NO one wants to do it. Because of the fact the customer decided it should be a two day run instead of one.  So, you're gonna get paid $300 wasting two full days of your time with this nonsense. That's not even a days' worth of pay. 

He basically pleaded with me to have it there by 8:00 am. I said fine, but please get this situation clarified, as I went into the entire history of 1 day run, to 2 days be there at 8:00 am, to 2 days - be there by 11:00 am, even tho the paperwork says 8.  He said he was going to try to get more money for the trip and how much do you think it is worth?  It's worth two days worth of driving at least.  He stuttered on that one - well what does he expect? Why should I be required bow to the whims of a stingy customer? Who in our company decided it was okay to just leave the pay the same after stretching this worthless run into 2 days?

It was going to be a long day, I could tell.  I didn't even feel like driving today, just one of those things where I'd rather be home lounging around or doing something - anything - other than driving a truck.  250 miles up the road, a pickup truck passing me honks his horn and starts pointing backwards. 

I look in my mirrors a lot, I make sure tires aren't blown.  They can catch on fire if they get hot enough and then you have a real problem, tho fires usually only happen when 2 tires blow that are side by side to each other.  Those little fire extinguishers they put in trucks might be good for a spot fire, I doubt they'd do much to wheels/tires heated up.  Well I looked in my mirror again - I had just looked before he honked - saw nothing, but I pulled over.  Amazingly, this guy also pulled over. 

I met him at the back of the trailer.  A tire cap came off the tire, completely off, and was wrapped around the axle.  It was dragging 4 feet out the back of the trailer.  He said it was throwing rubber chunks behind it.  It was completely impossible for me to see this because it was an inside tire on the rear axle.  The tire hadn't blown, it was still holding air, it just didn't have the tread on it.  The dude got down under the trailer with his knife and cut the tread out of there.

I wondered how long that thing was like that before someone finally decided to get my attention?  I thanked him profusely and we parted ways. I drove another 30 miles on that thing, as long as it didn't blow I didn't care, I was on a very tight schedule and if I could make it to the TA Truckstop, I could get it fixed a heckuva lot faster at the tire shop than sitting on the side of the road.  I wouldn't have tried it if the trailer was loaded.

Without going into the ridiculous details of what happened at the shop, an hour and 15 minutes later I was on the road again.  I was still not feeling it - driving that is - plus I didn't get my normal nap on my "break". My break was sitting around waiting for a tire to be replaced.  I texted the manager at the tire problem - he never replied.  I just told him what was going on and that it might affect my return time and that might affect whether I make it back to the yard in time to get the mandatory 10 hour break and get to the plant on time. 

Just to say here, the loading plant is a stickler on drivers being on time.  THEY don't care if they're behind schedule because of a plant problem - and don't bother to contact anyone to tell us they're delayed, but if we are late, they raise hell.  And then we get notified by management. I am almost never late, the only time that happens is if there is a problem with the assigned trailer. 

This new manager needs to decide whether he's going to keep the job or not.  If a driver contacts you with problems, at least acknowledge it.  Anyway, I ran into several traffic incidents after leaving there and though, well, whatever. I can't control any of this, if I don't make it back in time, it's not my problem. Because if it was the previous manager, she would have already reassigned this load to someone else. 

I made it back to the yard with 5 minutes to spare.  In 10 hours, I'll get up, have basically no time to do anything but get dressed, get on the clock and leave.  No, I didn't go home. Seemed like a waste of time to go home just to go to bed and then get up 7 hours later and come back to the yard. Maybe if I lived closer I would have, but not 37 miles each way. 

And then, after loading, I have to make the decision whether to take the truck back to the yard and go home - or - drive down to Houston and spend the night in yet another truck stop.  It's probably going to be drive to Houston, because if I go home, I'll have to get up at 2:30 am to get back to the yard and then drive down in the middle of the night.  That is the part that bothers me. Either way, drivers are making sacrifices to get this 8:00 am load there and yet we are getting paid dirt to do it. 

I dunno what I'll do, make that decision tomorrow when I'm leaving the plant.  I just think it's ridiculous - and so does every other driver and actually, so does this new manager - to have to sit around 14 hours because this customer demands we get loaded one day and deliver it the next. This new dude said he was going to address this situation, I hope he does.

It is 1:00 am and it's time to go to bed. 

Saturday - late morning, almost noon actually, Brownsville, Texas.

Coming down here yesterday was a real chore.  Not because of fatigue, but because it was Friday, it's hot and the beaches down here are open.  It's the same thing every year.  If you come down on a Friday, you are going to run into a lot of traffic.

The problem, however, occurs in a couple of small towns where there is a stop light.  Sounds benign, I know.  However, in Refugio, traffic was backed up for miles to get through this light simply because of the sheer volume of traffic trying to get through there.  Another small town further south - the name of it escapes me, was the same thing.  And the road construction south of Houston - that's been messed up for a long time, but now they have a lane closed so everyone has to funnel into one lane - that also causes several miles of back up.  Those 3 backups plus a lot of traffic cost me a lot of time, I almost didn't make it down here. 

But, I'm very glad I did.  Cause' there was only one empty and the first driver had to take it. He asked me if I wanted it, uhhh, yeah, no thanks. It's allllll yours.  It's not just detention pay that it makes me happy I'm stuck down here til' whenever.  I also got dumped with a Houston run - the extremely low paying run that takes two days to do.  You load the first day - you take it down the second.  It's not even half a normal day's wages.  The new manager said he was trying to get the run to pay more.  He's a driver advocate, I'll grant him that. He's been turning some things around in the pay department that needed to be turned around.  Anyway, it load at 7:30 am tomorrow/Sunday morning.  Well it's almost noon. It's about a 10-1/2 hour trip back up what with fueling, traffic and half hour break.  That puts me at 8:30 the earliest I could get back, take the required 10 hour break and get to the plant.

But even better, the drivers were supposed to pull the full trailers out of here at 11:00 am, cross the border and bring empties back. They aren't even in the yard, their trucks are just sitting there.  That means a delay, probably from the plant that doesn't really care one way or the other whether they get empties up here on "our" schedule.  They're the customer, they pay through the nose for our services, they get to dictate what goes on.  Every time a manager or dispatcher first encounters this situation, they think they are going to change the world! and get them to bring them up faster.

First problem? Not gonna happen.  Second? Us sitting around makes our company a heckuva lot of money.  I told this newest dispatcher right off the bat that we like to go down and wait around, we get paid for it and it isn't any small chunk of change.  What would you rather do? Have to drive all day long to earn that money or sit around doing whatever you want getting paid to do nothing? 

Last night I was invited to partake of food with the Mexican drivers down here.  They were all drunk, lol and acting foolishly.  But, it was entertaining to watch the nonsense and hey, it was excellent food!  The dude that runs the yard said "spread the word, anytime you see us sitting here eating, come over and join us!" "You don't need an invitation". It's their culture, it's how they do things.  They are very giving people, even the most poor of them down in the interior will give you whatever scraps of food they have.  It's in their nature. 

These drivers, however, aren't poor and the dude that runs the yard just buys the stuff on company account.  He's the owner's son so he pretty much does what he wants.  He's pretty cool, too, talked for several hours last night.  They invited me for breakfast this morning, but none of them showed up, lol.  I think they are probably hungover. The owner's son just showed up a few minutes ago carrying huge bags of what appears to be food with him. But I ate so much food last night, I am not hungry this morning and have had nothing to eat yet today. 

Anyway, I may still yet have to leave today, it's totally unpredictable what will happen down here. 

I am reading a story in the news where a SWAT team in Florida has - quit. 10 members of it anyway.  They claim they are being treated worse than dogs.  Yup, this anti-cop sentiment sweeping the nation just makes me shake my head in disbelief.  I understand some cops aren't good cops,  I also understand that I don't want to have to live in an anarchist society where everyone is left to fend for themselves.  You will likely see more of this - these cops didn't leave the force, they left this special unit which is instrumental in taking down dicey situations with armed thugs and the like where a special unit is necessary. 

We have a loosely formed group of people in our neighborhood now.  One of them is a career cop, he's well versed in tactical situations where you need to know what you're doing in order to win and survive. 

Will it come to our neighborhood? I certainly hope not.  He who lives by the sword dies by the sword.  Not really interested in having to defend myself or others with lethal force, but if it comes down to my life or theirs - theirs.  But, I will pray for God's protection and that it never comes to that.  And believe He will cover all of us, even if there are non-believers in the group and neighborhood.  This situation obviously isn't going away anytime soon.  And couple that with coronavirus and the loss of jobs - people are being evicted, thrown onto the streets because they can no longer pay their rent. The amount of desperation in our society has clicked to highest levels.

I just believe in being prepared, if at all possible.  Just like with the food and electricity situation.  Both are covered at least temporarily. The prices of meat are still well up there, I dunno what plants are still shut down for meat processing, but there must be enough to keep the prices up. 

I'm still amazed this company in Mexico is still cranking out product as if nothing was going on in the economy anywhere. It literally has not slowed down at all, the numbers of orders they continue to put in for the product we deliver to them.  The only time it slows down is if their plant is having a problem.  What kind of magic wand do they have to keep up this kind of pace in the weakening global economy? I don't know but I'm sure glad they have one! 

Well, one of the loaded trailers just pulled out, meaning -  usually meaning - that in a couple of hours an empty is coming back.  Therefore, I'm going to take a nap, it will be a long night getting back to the yard and they will want the trailer back for loading tomorrow. 

Driving home yesterday was probably the easiest I've done on that particular run. Well rested, drove almost 8 hours straight before stopping 130 miles out - forced 30 minute break, I could have kept driving all the way in without stopping for anything but fuel.  Oh that all runs would go that easily.  Heck, even driving through Houston rush hour traffic wasn't that bad. Yes there was a lot of traffic but almost no slow downs. Okay, I prefer no to drive through Houston at 5:00 PM on a weekday, but it's the shortest route and I tend to go for the bull's horns when it comes to getting to the intended destination the fastest, shortest way there.  Many drivers prefer to go well around Houston adding 30 to 50 miles to the run depending on what route they take.

Now, that gets them more mileage, yes, but it also gets them the possibility of not making it down or back up in the same day.  And right now? The Brownsville run is cranking.  They want a lot of product and they don't take no for an answer.  I'm already being sent out again tomorrow.  That's just a day in between runs.

And I'll take it.  I know, doom and gloom, but there are more and more reports of impending recession.  I hope it doesn't happen, I want food and cash available if it does.  It's just about being prepared, not living in fear.  The stock market tanking around 1,000 points today because of more coronavirus fears infecting investors with fears of the economy slowing down again. 

Today is a mountain of laundry day.  I haven't done laundry in almost two weeks, completely out of clothes. I was going to do it the day before I left on last trip but it was James/Taylor day to do their laundry.  I'm doing all of it - not just clothes but bedding, dog covers, carpets.  James just invited me to join him for lunch when he gets off work - he has yet another short day.  I mean, we're talking he's off at noon or 1 pm, not the normal 5 or later he usually gets.  I'm all for the lunch tho.  I have no plans to make dinner so lunch will have to do.

Like a nice thick steak with a salad and some green beans, asparagus or broccoli. 

Diet going well again - Keto that is. Last cheat was a disaster.  My belly bloated out, I gained almost 4 pounds. I was right at the point where I was starting to dump the fat.  Fat cells stick around for a while after they are depleted, according to the experts. So if you cheat too soon, they just fill up again and you're right back where you started.  So, no, I'm not cheating again for awhile, including wherever we end up today.  I'm down to 212 and I want to get down in the 190 range.  180 range seems to be a pipe dream. 195 or so would be fine, that's 33 waist and abs starting to show again.  I'm also doing light weightlifting a couple 2 or 3 times a week. Nothing intense, just starting to try and build some muscle back up again. 

Well, I was banned 24 hours from posting or commenting anywhere on Facebook. I won't go into the specific reason, just to say that Facebook is full of dog dung and their censoring is getting ridiculous.  I have an old alt account I haven't used in a long time.  So, I'm on that temporarily.  But going through messenger requests, I found a message from my ex wife - the first one I was married to 16 years.  It was from January of last year, lol. That tells you how long it's been since I used that account.  I did respond to her but it's well past anything relevant, it was concerning our son and that situation is over and done with long ago.

Not going to wax-long on this one. Gotta keep on top of the laundry or I won't get it all done. Plus lunch date.  Plus other things I need/want to get done today before I go back out again tomorrow. Might be a pipe dream, but I hope I get stuck down there again.