Welp, the last few days of work.  I have a coworker with which we really get along. Actually, we're pretty much going at it a lot, but all in fun.  Definitely in fun, keep things live spirited versus dull an boring.

This afternoon in the yard, I"m loading up the semi for Monday delivery.  He's looking at all the pallets on the ground and looking at truck: You ain't fixing to get all of that on there.

Oh yes I will, there's plenty of room.  He says, no way, you can't get all of that on there. I'm firing back, hell if I can't, all of that is going on there, pointing at the truck. I had already assessed the loading sequence necessary to get it all on there.  He says I'll bet you can't. I said fine, I'll take your bet.  He says, you want to be a beer? I said, no, I"ll take 3 of them!  I was taunting him for the next 30 minutes as he was driving by on the other forklift and I was almost finished.

"Well yooooooouuuuuuu cheated!".  Cheated? How do you figure?  Well you put that pallet on top of that other pallet and you moved the pipe.  Whoa, pardner, there wasn't any agreement on this bet as to HOW I was going to load the truck, only that I would get it done.  He finally shook his head, sitting there watching me load the last pallet on there.  You won.  And yes, true to his word, we went to the liquor store after work, he bought a 6 pack and gave me 4 of them.  Lol.

I have subsequently found out, today, that everyone but the outside salesmen are looking for new jobs.  No idea if any of the salesmen are or aren't, they aren't letting on.  I would guess no, because they are making bank. Or are they? I looked at the numbers today, sales are down.   Meaning their commissions are down as well. Even the yard guy today was overheard on the phone talking to an employment agency.

Anyway, I'm not doing anything differently at work. I work my butt off, I get the job done.  There is no-one that is going to be able to accuse me - legitimately anyway - after I leave that I had a change of attitude at the end.  Monday is a full day.  Drive the truck to the port, unload all of that stuff I put on there today, drive to Lena, make a small delivery, drive to Alexandria, load the truck up with concrete meter boxes, drive up to Ruston, deliver all of them and then back to Shreveport.  With all the driving and loading and unloading time? That's getting me back to the yard by 5 at the earliest.  Tuesday will be my last day and then, get a suitcase, load it up and get over to Mississippi in whatever fashion they are going to figure out.  Which is likely a truck coming through here, going back to Mississippi.

I saw one of their trucks driving through Shreveport today which sparked the memory: Oh yes, I've been seeing them coming through here for a while, just never gave it any real notice.  I mean, I am a truck driver from the old days though.  I look at trucks.  The colors, the chrome, the name of the company. I always note things that are wrong with them.  Today? A logging truck with no mud flaps on the tandems.  Violation of FMCSA regulations - they are there to protect the motoring public's vehicles from debris flying up from the tires.  There weren't even brackets for flaps on this truck.

BTW, have you ever seen the signs on the back of these dump trucks that say "stay back 300 feet, not responsible for damage to windshields"?  The hell they aren't.  They are solely responsible for any "unsecured cargo" that is ejected from their trucks, including rocks that they are hauling.  I got on a hauling company's case one time for a truck dumping rocks all over the highway and cracking my windshield.  They thought I was going away, but I made frequent calls and increasing levels of irritableness.  YOUR truck did NOT have a tarp on the load and those rocks were flying out everywhere.  They finally dd replace the windshield.

Anyway, the manager has been avoiding my like the plague.  He rushes on by if I happen to be heading towards his direction.  There is no way he's spending any time in the same room with me, at all.  If I come in, he walks out.  This is a "manager", an insecure, narcissistic, self-aggrandizing small, little man.  My last thing to do there will be to send an email to the regional manager and also include corporate management in it with a forwarded email - the one I sent these 2 individuals - and a statement that I never received any kind of reply form them at all. Note,  it doesn't matter if the reply doesn't agree with my assessments, but can these people see beyond their own pathetic selves and wish me a successful career such as I have them?

I am going to contrast the GM of the region I am in now and the GM of the region I was originally hired into.  WORLDS apart.  My Phoenix GM I will ever hold in respect and admiration.  A man of class and a true professional, yet had compassion for every single worker. He showed concern for the everyday trials and tribulations we went through. He gave generous raises to those that supporter his vision and kept within the parameters of the goals of the company.  Held Christmas parties at his house.  Compared to a GM here that could care less, doesn't check up on anyone,  is part and parcel of the good ole' boys club - so on and so forth. If it burns my brdiges, so beit.  It likely will have no effect. so beit as well.  But I am likely to speak my mind -within some boundaries.

 So yesterday, I write a professionally worded intent to terminate employment, here is the advance notice you requested email to the manager and his manager, the GM.  I am good at writing letters like that when i want to, learned that in High School learning secretary stuff while learning typing.  Some of it still in my head lol.  I did leave the option for a pay increase offer.  Not getting my hopes up - AT ALL - but still put it in there.  There was nothing accusatory, condemning or any malice in that letter at all. It wasn't even that long, quick and to the point.

So, neither manager responded.  No email back, no phone call, not even a word about it in person.  Instead, this morning, they had a dude in there applying for my position.  What a lame management structure.  I have only a few times in my life worked for such pathetic, sad, sorry people and that was when I was in my mid teens working kitchens in restaurants.  I distinctly remember one of them, she was the GM of this restaurant I was working at, she was a drunk and would get drunk at work. And, she was a total b****.   That's the only real word that comes to mind, sorry.  She intentionally had me replaced a "burnt out" light bulb to see me get electrocuted.  Yes, she was cracking up about it when I got zapped by the current that she already knew about.  Without going into full detail, stuff like that.

These people aren't any different.  Juveniles in adult bodies.  I'm trying to hang in there til Tuesday, but I am finding that to be very difficult.  The only reason to stay, obviously, is a full paycheck next week when it comes into my account.  Just one more day for that.  I could skip next week at work completely for the way they are treating me and not bat an eye.  I have 137 hours of vacation that they will pay out - how long that takes I don't know tho.  It's a couple thousand dollars worth and then some, enough to tide m over for the interim of starting a new job and actually getting a full paycheck.
I'm slated for orientation on Thursday.  Meaning I have to take a bus or something over to Jackson, Mississippi.  They were going to try to find me a ride with a truck coming through, dunno how that may work out.  I would rather ride in a truck than take a Greyhound.  I can't drive my car because the intention is that I will leave there in one of there trucks after a couple days orientation and go straight to work.  Which is fine by me. That's what I want.

Meanwhile, I called the other place. Not as alluring because of the lack of time off.  You are out 3 days and come back, no guarantees on that 3rd day that you actually get to go home, you might be sent straight back out.  Anyway, they were supposed to have me slated for a driver test a week plus ago and she never called me back.  Out of curiosity, I called her.  Well, she says, I was going to call you. I thought, when? but didn't say it.  She said my application says that I don't have a Hazmat or Tanker endorsements.  It's an old application I placed there 2 years ago.  These trucking companies keep your name forever, basically.

So I told her no, that has changed since that app was put in, I have an X endorsement (hazmat and tanker combination), what's next?  Driver test and physical.  Let me get some stuff done and I'll "get back to you".  I mean, I'm getting mixed signals from her.  If she doesn't like me or want me, why not just come out and say so? Or is this just the way she operates?  She seemed to be a very organized person when I was in her office.  The allure of this job is the money. .51 per mile, which in the trucking industry is excellent mileage pay.  The other place is starting me out at .40 cents per mile, which is the top end for new drivers coming into that company. That is the top end for a lot of companies for a new hire, tho some pay more.  You have to prove to them that you will get your work done, ie: get as many loads as they want you to get done in a specific time frame.  you do that, consistently, over a period of time, they'll bump your pay up.

Actually the job I am already slated to going to in Mississippi sounds better because there is no weekend work, there will be nights during the week I can sleep in my own bed and see my doggies and not be out so much.  I can still make decent money there, around $1,250 per week to start.  I never did ask them if they had a pet policy.  I could take my giant Great Dane on a trip here and there.  He is quite at home laying on a bed and sleeping lol.  Btw, that's about 60k per year, which is FAR more money than I'm making now ever since this manager took over and stripped us of our OT.

Changing the subject, do you ever listen to the potential side effects of these drugs that are touted on TV?  I don't know how many of them say "and possibility of heart attack, stroke and death" for drugs that aren't life saving for a life threatening situation. Would you take one of these drugs?  Knowing that you might keel over after taking it? How is it acceptable to have drugs that can kill you?

Just one of many things I ponder in life.  Like, if I had condition, would I take that drug?  I guess it's hard to say what you will allow yourself to get into when you are faced with some dire situation.

Oh well. I was slated to have the lowest paycheck I can possibly get until the manager decided I should take a late run that would have me out a couple extra hours.  How nice of him.  But when I get these paychecks as of late, I just laugh at them.  These aren't paychecks. They're like spiffs.  A bonus.  Like a big tip at a restaurant.  My next paycheck will still suck with only 3 hours of OT on it. Remember, that's a 2 week pay period, not a weekly check.

I do believe on my last day there, I'm going to write a letter to the regional manager - who probably doesn't care either but I'll tag corporate into it as well - and the manager and GM, forward the message I sent to the GM and manager to him and explain to him that I sent this email out of good faith because I was asked previously to give an advanced notice, and instead of a thank you or some kind of reply, I got nothing from either of them.  Why go there? Why not.  This is not the way this company operates anywhere else. This division was mom and pop thing that was a statewide setup with several stores that was bought out the company.

If hindsight were 20/20, I should have left as soon as I found out this new manager was taking over.  If I really want to fault myself, I should have never agreed to a pay cut to come out here working the same job and taking a $6.24 per hour reduction in pay.  Actually, I probably should have never come out here in the first place, but I am not really regretting that decision.  I made new friends, people that actually love me (and even say so) - my friends that own the house - and it's a much nicer environment out here. I miss the mountains, mostly.  No mountains here, none at all.  A few hills here and there but nothing like the Rockies.

Of course, changing the subject again, in all of this, finding an entirely new line of employment goes out the window in sitting behind the wheel of a truck every day for 10 or 11 hours.  \

At least my 401k is growing if nothing else.

I was actually amazed that it's been a year already since I did the fed loan restructure thing on my house.  I've made a year's worth of on-time payments, but for whatever reason, my mortgage company always lags behind on updating payment information by up to 3 months.  Once it ever updates to showing a full year's worth of on time payments, that should bump up my credit score. I don't know how much, but that's what i was reading some time back about the subject.

I am trying to wait until I get my score up into the good range before looking for a car loan.  My current car is simply falling apart, has a lot of miles on it, I"ve been driving it for 9 years now, I'm tired of it.  I want something - newer.  Not new, but at least 2010 with low miles.  I just don't want to pay anything even remotely akin to "high interest".

With a new job, hopefully I can start saving money again.  I am literally down to almost nothing in both my checking and savings accounts, which is what led me to start looking for a new job in the first place.  I haven't been in this position in a long, long time and it doesn't feel good.  The manager could care less.  He's a total jerk. He knows business, he doesn't know people, how to deal with them and how to treat them.  He should have never been put into that position, a scenario that will likely play out as more people leave the company solely because of his bs.

When I do the exit interview - they call you - I'm going to spell that out.  In fact, I am writing my thoughts down so I don't forget anything.  They will have heard by 3 different people at that point complaints about this manager's behavior and how he treats the employees.  When the other inside salesman quits - providing he does - that will send a resounding message, this manager is a piece of s*** and needs to be dealt with, ie: fired or moved back to his old position.  Not that it will matter to me, I'll be gone, but in this case, that dude has ruined for me a 12 year career that I was attempting to make out of that place, has forced me to find new employment because of his petty, narcissistic and egotistical views on things and now I am losing the ample amounts of vacation time.

Note that OT wasn't removed from anyone else in the region. It was reduced slightly, but they are still getting OT.  I looked at our sales today, pretty lame.  This time of year should be double what's in there near and at least triple that by the time the end of the month gets here.  Writing on the wall, since I've been through this with this company before: enough of that and layoffs.

Well whatever.

Sunday afternoon.
Haven't been to work since Tuesday morning - went and came home. Sick. Been sick the entire time.  I was hoping the flu would run it's course and go away, but it got replaced by other things.  I finally went to the doc yesterday who said I have an upper respiratory tract infection, sore throat, had the flu, had GI tract junk and .... possibly TMI....but jock itch.  Never had that one before so I didn't know what it was, only that everything in that region was quite sore.

I wasn't able to get the prescriptions til this morning, pharmacies close early around here on weekends.  I was, of course, there at opening.  Because right now, I still feel quite bad and if I feel like this again in the morning, it will be yet another day that I don't go to work.  Which might cause issues at work with this manager.  Not that I care what he thinks, but I would rather not hear it.  People get sick, oh well, s*** happens.

The whole thing has put off my new job aspirations at least temporarily.  I can't even think about starting a new job feeling like this. Heck I can't even think about doing my current work like this, but at least I know what I'm doing, if I must go, I can force myself through it.

Well anyway, nothing really new going on.  The part for the dryer came in, popped it on there, fixed in less than 5 minutes.  Dodged another bullet on that one.  Of course, I didn't dodge the bullet on the doctor's visit, hence the reason I hadn't gone.   $108 just to walk through the door of the place and pay that up front.  I didn't have to pay anything else so I guess not that bad and I will get half of that back - eventually, like a month or two down the road.

_______________________________

So, the inside salesman quit on Friday.  Today, showed up to find out they had already transferred a young dude from one of our stores down south to take his position. The position was never offered to any of us, at all. Not to mention this kid doesn't know anything about the software that we use, doesn't know the basics of anything, really.  It was astonishing to see that they had not only filled the position that quickly, but also just passed over all of us for any kind of promotion.

That prompted me to write the manager and the GM a short letter.  Basically, I'm quitting.  Unless I receive and offer of increased compensation, Tuesday of next week will be my last day working here. That was his advanced notice. The inside salesman gave no notice and the other drive didn't, either.  I got no reply back from either of them.  I didn't expect them to offer me money, at all, but I did expect that they would at least have the courtesy to say something.  I hate going to work.  It's a daily thing. Go to work, dread being there.  It's even worse now. In the middle of summer, our sales are slumping when they should be rocketing towards the moon.

The reality is, several contractors despise this manager - decades old bad blood - and refuse to do business with him.  That coupled with the fact that we start at 8:00 - none of our other outlets start that late.  That means, we come to work, contractors want their stuff, we aren't even out of there sometimes as late as noon.  We aren't servicing the customers.  That's it, this is the kind of business where you go out of your way to do whatever it takes to make them happy, and a large portion of that is early deliveries.  I was amazed that this guy was allowed to even get away with starting that late, but, the GM is a gutless wonder. He doesn't have his managers under his control.  He simply lets them do what they want.

So, I was discussing this with the other senior driver today. Good luck! I exclaimed to him, because now they are going to have 2 new drivers that know nothing or very little about this type of work.  they nothing about loading big trucks.  If you stay here, you do understand that this isn't going to get any better?  Remember what happened when the other driver quit? We were still held back at 8 hours.  He hates driving the big truck.  He's 57 years old and tired of all the work entailed with it.  The new guy has no clue.  I'm not leaving to spite him or most anyone else, I'm leaving because of low wages and an ass**** manager whose bizarre, narcissistic and egotistical behavior is insufferable.  Tho if they offered me enough money, I would just ignore his stupidity and do my job.  That would be a far easier thing than going to some company I have no clue about excepting what I can find online, get thrust into a totally new environment and also have no tenure, ie: benefits.

But, now I've freed myself of this current place, I have nothing anchoring me down anywhere.  I'm fine with going to work for this place and if it doesn't work out too well?  Find another one, keep going til I find the pay and home time that will work for me.  Pay being the biggest issue.

Meanwhile, my new Citi card arrived.  It has no credit available since I am transferring it's limit from my Capital One card. It's a zero interest deal for 18 months.  So, that pays down the Capital One card quite a bit, still some on there tho.  This deal was just to get zero interest, not to have more credit available.  It will, however, increase the amount of available credit on my credit report, so my score should go up a few more points. It's slowly creeping up there.  Still a bit off from the good range, but it's actually a light at the end of the tunnel now.

My sickness is almost past now.  That is one of the worst ones I have ever gone through - 6 days laid up in bed.  I can't remember being laid up by a virus that long.  I can remember being bedridden for a long time after getting fully injected with a black widow spider's venom, that was a hellish event as well.  But this thing here was an animal  I got hit with the flu - body aches ALL over, terrible headaches, fever, cold chills.  Then 3 days later I got hit with an upper respiratory infection and a terrible sore throat, meanwhile, the flu symptoms hadn't subsided and in all of that, I had stomach junk going that ended up with - a lot of bathroom visits and then on top of that, I find out I had jock itch, I a thing I have never had so I didn't know what was going on.  The doctor just said - you've had a helluva a week!  Yes and it sucked, totally.  Sometimes you get in the middle of these things and wonder if you're ever going to get better.  Like, am I dying?

I can't say that I'm 100% but dang it's good to be back among the living!

Umm, well what a day!
See, I thought I felt some grumbling downstairs this morning before going to work, but I didn't give it a lot of thought.  I got to work, got in the truck and headed south.  And that's when it started.  I don't want to TMI, so I'll just say that I spent quality time in the woods on the side of the highway dealing with business you would normally do in a bathroom.  Yea, that bad.  Either crank the truck over and get out in the trees or end up with pants filled with.....

I finally got to a place 6 hours later where I could both get some acetaminophen and some Pepto.  That helped - a lot actually. Though the day was 2/3rd's over by then.

Huh.  Didn't stop me tho.  I got off work at 3, as I had asked the manager, and headed the 65 miles over to the job interview  The lady says, well, what are you here for today?  I mean, she knew I was there for a job, but took that question in stride. I'm here for a job, going into current situation - without going into foul management, just pay issues.  I kinda think if you sit around saying your manager sucks, they might think you are the one with the problem and dismiss you.

Well, we didn't really get too far into before she invited me out to meet some of the drivers that happened to be there.  I knew where this was going.  Lol, no problem there, i can talk to other drivers for hours.  And sure enough, we got to talking that she eventually left. But, that was what she wanted.  She told me before we went out there: well, you aren't really going to hear what you need to know in here, let's go talk to the drivers.

She eventually resurfaced and said, ok, let's go back in side. She had a 5 page list of pre-printed questions.  The only thing I disagreed with was team driving. No thanks.  I'm not driving all the time with another person I don't even know.  She said, yea i didn't think so, lol, it's not mandatory.

I left thee with a job offer pursuant to passing a driving test.

__________________________________

That was Tuesday, now Wednesday.  Whatever I had yesterday? Got worse today.  I had half a mind to call in sick today, I should have.  I took a load of concrete pipe out to a job site and started feeling really bad.  I got back to the yard, noticed that the delivery board had been wiped clean of deliveries. Went and asked the boss, can I go home? Doesn't look like anything going on today. I left there, 10:00 am, came home an slept 4 hours.  Body aches all over.  Just a virus of some sort.  But yeah, yucky feeling all over.\

Hopefully I won't get a call to go on the driving test today.  I dunno when she was going to get that set up, I just asked her if it could be after hours or on the weekend so I don't have to figure out an excuse to leave work early.  Today simply wouldn't be a good day. I could do it, but I'd rather be on top of my game for a driving test, considering it will be done by another 30 or 40 plus year driver.  We can get a bit picky on how a person drives, lol.

So that's that.  I also so yet more jobs that looked interesting today, so I applied for those as well. Ideally, it would be a local job. The Kag one is 3 days out, sometimes longer.  They have various length runs and she - the dispatcher - likes to even them out so the drivers get equal amounts of long and short runs.  Which is cool, means you get some good miles in and decent paychecks.  I'm still kinda leaning towards that other job, tho, too.

That's really my focus right  now.  I am taking into consideration that it's kinda hard to be involved in a church in any capacity if I can't even be there consistently on Sundays.  Not that I am involved in this new church yet, I'm just going to services and feeding on the Word for the time being.

Well, today is mom's birthday. I texted her early this morning a Happy Birthday wish, got on her FB wall and did the same.  Then, when I got home from work a little while ago, I definitely called her to give her the birthday wish in voice.  I then went on to post a happy birthday to her on my fb wall as well.

What was strange?  The fact that I was the only one that actually called her today.  Everyone else, including my brothers, had texted her. I understand acquaintances doing it via text or Facebook. I get people that met each on Facebook doing that on Facebook, of course.  But people that you have known all your life?  Or your own family? Seemed rather strange to me.  I guess in this day and age you count your blessings to get it in the form of printed words than nothing at all.

Even my son sent a text.  Does that take the place of an actual phone call from your own family?  Am I off base here? I'm really just asking.

IMO, strange times we are living in. Not just because of this, this is just another factor.

Meanwhile I was stuck behind 3 cars going 60 in a 70 zone for several miles before I decided to pass on the right.  Well, turns out the car in the front was a form of law enforcement, no idea which, just had a small ensignia on the side and......the dude turned on his lights and gave me the siren job.  I figured I was busted and oh well.  Guess he had better things to do. I never passed him, not after he did all of that. I was coming up on him when he did all of that.  I backed off, he turned all of that stuff off and I guess decided to let it go.

Okay, well on to the real deal. I made a legitimate excuse to leave work this afternoon to go for the interview. I was engaged in that this morning.  So I got the approval from the manager and then found out that the lady that is going to do the interview is going to a funeral tonight.  In fact, there right now.  One of the drivers that she has worked with for years passed away and she was going to give her condolences.  Kudos to her on that.  And good thing i called this morning, otherwise, I would have gotten the time off for nothing and then would have really had to figure out how to get to this interview, the next day, tomorrow actually.

_____________

Some serious looking at reviews on this company.  Not in the division I am looking at going into, but in the gas industry division.  In fact, the gas hauling industry in general. Not really as good as I thought it might be.  Or is it?  Just depends where you are looking, but I was looking at reviews for the gas haulers on this specific company and I didn't see a lot of good stuff on there.

Is the gas hauling industry what I thought it was?
Perhaps not.  Appears the chemical hauling industry is much more lucrative, but, it's not really local.
What now.  Go in for the interview tomorrow. This is the company's chemical sector, has nothing to do with gasoline.  I've gotten this far with this company, the pay is definitely excellent.  I can't even think about complaining about it.  This particular type of job is available to people that live close to the plant that manufactures all of these chemicals, namely: Eastman Kodak.

Anyway, I'm going to go to that interview tomorrow. If a job is offered, I am now at the 90% chances of taking it, where as before reading all this other stuff I was at 100%.  The reason for the downgrade is simple.  It doesn't appear that transferring to the gas division is a viable alternative in the future.  the near 80k per year pay with this division, is, however, quite compelling.

Anyway, I started feeling bad today, like lung congestion and feeling ill at work. It started shortly before I went to the hour long lunch break junk. Which, today, I was glad to take. Got in my car, drove a quarter mile down the road to my favorite, huge but low-lying tree and slept for 45 minutes. I felt better after that, but not great.

Well, it's almost 9 pm and I decided earlier I was going to go to bed early tonight.

This is likely to get repetitive over other posts I have put up in the last week or so, so probably not worth reading. I just need to get this out of my system, sometimes writing about things helps me do that.

Well, first off the dryer quit working.  Pressing the start button, however, I noticed it didn't move either way. Like,  those push button switches are spring loaded so it should move in and pop back up once you let go.  Figured that problem out pretty quick, the switch is broken. Ordered a new one but still figured out how to turn the machine on without it.  I'm not recommending the tenants here do that, though, if they aren't careful they will electrocute themselves.

When facing such dilemmas, tho, and know you really don't have the finances to go out and buy a new one excepting putting it on credit, that instantly becomes a scary thought. "Hey Ben, the dryer quit working".  Gag, I'm thinking, how much is this going to cost?  I went to work immediately on that and it didn't take long to figure it out.  New switch ordered via the internet, grand total: $17.53 including shipping.  Wipe the sweat off my brow and hope nothing else goes wrong.

Well, we do have a rat problem and I"m sick of it.  One of the tenants is allergic to cats or I would have gotten a couple of them a while ago.  As it stands, I may just go ahead and get a cat for outdoors.  Feed it, give it a cat style home to live in and hope it sticks around - and does it's job.  But at this point, it's time to call in an exterminator.  We've caught probably 15 rats but it's never-ending. They breed quickly and their offspring love the couches and recliner and wherever they can find to nest.  Just before they damage wiring or whatever other damage rats can do, I'm calling in the professionals.  Yup, it's going to cost, yup I"m going to have to put it on a a credit card, but this is one of those things you just can't let ride forever.

Which brings me back to my job search. Tomorrow, a job interview at a place that I have now determined I really want to work at. On the road a lot? Yes.  Money? Yes.  Pay off bills? Yes.  The training is $21.00 per hour.  Far greater than anything I have ever seen anywhere else.  Common is $500 per week of training, which is ridiculous and unrealistic, but, if it's a good company otherwise, you eat it and deal with it. Not so here.  I dunno, but I have a lot of vacation hours that will help me float through several weeks of paylessness.  Depending on how long that takes to get paid out.

Whatever. If I get that job, I have no qualms paying with credit cards until I get some serious finances in. I hope not, but it's a possibility I am willing to deal with - and then pay all that junk back down.

Well, it's Sunday night.  A wonderful day of the same ole s*** tomorrow at work. Actually, it should be drive a vehicle to Monroe to get the semi, which should be fixed.  Unless they do, for some reason, send someone else.  I dunno, but if they send me, that eats up half the day.  I plaster a fake smile on my face at work and act all upbeat.  It's all acting on my part.  I'll not give them a reason to get rid of me, if such were the case, for "bad attitude". I keep much of my thoughts to myself. I have determined, however, that if necessary, I will take option two to go work for and though it's a "lessor" job in many ways, it's plenty more money than what I'm making now.  Just no real room for advancement.  I have always wanted to do tanker jobs and the second job is not a tanker job.

Posting this and on to a new one.

My situation:
I have a solid job offer of about $500 per week more than I am currently making. This job entails hauling paper rolls from Grenada, Mississippi to Lufkin, Texas.  It's a small, family owned company.  I can get home a couple of times per week from what I'm looking at on a map and intended time it takes to do a round trip.  It's 40 cents per mile, expected about 3,000 miles per week.  There is no guarantee of pay raise, but it's still a lot more than I'm currently making. I believe they said they don't do weekend work.

So, I'm home fairly often. Which is a good thing, but I don't get ahead on bills that fast.

The second job I am almost sure to take if it is offered to me.  I have passed the corporate headquarters background checks - which is a significant portion of getting hired on at any trucking company.  I was calling them when they called me yesterday, actually. I hadn't heard from them and I wanted to see where the process was. It was really strange that the urge hit me to call them and they were, in fact, calling me at that very point.  I don't necessarily call that a "sign", lol.  But who knows.

Anyway, this job pays .51 cents per mile, around 3,000 miles per week, work your way up to .56 per mile over time.  You don't really get much better pay as a company driver than that.  Especially considering you are pretty much looking at stable, constant work.  This is hauling nasty, dreadful chemicals that are used in products you use on a daily basis, but get exposed to them? You're pretty much instantly dead.  I've had a driving career devoid of any serious accidents and none of them my fault.  In such accidents and if I had been hauling a tanker, the tanker would never have been in danger of rupturing.

The con to this job is 3 days out at a time.  And when you get back, you get a day off - maybe- but if they have something urgent that needs to go out, you're back to back runs.  She named off many of the places the run to.  Some of them definitely a ways off, even up to Canada if you have a passport - yes I have a passport and yes I would gladly take one of those runs! - others as close as Houston, which is a day trip there and back, offloading the chemical included.

The chemicals are loaded onto the truck at Eastman - Kodak in Longview, Texas.  about 30 miles from here.  Loaded drive down, empty drive back, paid the same both ways.  The plus side to this job is the money, obviously.  At 3,000 miles per week, that's almost 80 grand per year.  Realistically probably in the low 70's.  Which is quite fine by me.  This pays off my credit card debt in short order.  6 to 8 months I could have most cards paid to zero balance.  I could get 5k back in my savings account and a could k back in my savings account, just as it was before this manager came along and decided to do away with my OT.  Oh, and I don't load or unload chemicals. That is all done by the plants you are delivering to. They have their own teams of people doing that. No objections.  Some of these chemicals are serious stuff.

I could see myself doing a job like this for a  year, maybe two and then asking for a transfer to the gas delivery division where I would just be doing local work.  Yes, I'd get sick of being on the road, but no, I wouldn't get sick of the money, the goal of getting out of debt or the idea of getting a newer vehicle and paying cash for it, or putting a hefty down payment on one and having low monthly payments.  The appeal to this job is that there is a way out: transfer out of it to a different division. Even if not, tanker experience will land me a job at a gas hauling company and home nightly scenario.

Any way about it, I'm going to have to make some sacrifices to get out of this s-hole I am working at now.  I'm beyond tired of it, I'm very much beyond these pathetic paychecks.  The other experienced driver is also looking for a new job and others in the organization are also looking to get out of there.
The only ones that are probably not looking to get out of there are the salesmen. They are making too much money to walk away from it.  How this manager gets away with the behavior he does without anyone of "importance" turning him in?  They want their jobs.  They don't care about this dude because the money over rules any objections.  You have to get to the more blue collar positions or semi white collar to get anywhere.

Anyway, I have an interview on Monday with this company I want to drive for.  I spoke with the lady on the phone for about 30 minutes.  Seemed like a good conversation, trying to make a good first impression.  I'm going to leave work early and get the 60 mile drive over there - my work is much farther away from there than where I live, and hope that I get the job. If not, I"m taking off on Wednesday for Mississippi for orientation, if not this coming week definitely the next.  The only factor that would change my mind is if another company finally called me that I have applied at offering a more appealing work schedule - meaning home more often.

I've pretty much come to accept that the way out of where I"m at is to spend some time on the road.  Driving a late model Peterbilt and sleeping in it will be ok.  I'll get used to that lifestyle again, I probably won't like it much, but I have to make a move and I'm getting too old to wait too much longer.  I want a good chunk of change in my 401k by the time I retire and that sure ain't happening where I"m at now.

And, along the lines of paying down credit card debit, I just applied for yet another credit card a little while ago. It was instantly approved and I went ahead and made an immediate request to transfer the credit line limit that they are giving me from my Capital One card to that one.  That was also approved. It's interest free for 18 months. That is the appeal.  Every dime I pay goes straight to principle.  It was only a $35 fee to do that so definitely worth it.  It will bring my monthly payment down on my Capital One card as well.  Credit Karma has actually helped me quite a bit in this endeavor.  The cards that they said I have a "good" approval chance for, I've been approved for.  This will also cause my credit score to go up yet again. It will take a hit at first and then it will go up because my percentage of credit usage will go down.

But, the late mortgage payments from before I did a refinance on my home loan are going to take a while to fall off and that is what is really affecting my credit score.

Fingerhut, however, is messing with my credit score and I am going to ask them to stop giving me "temporary" credit line increases. It helps my score initially, but then they take it away and that hits it.  I don't want their temporary increase. They are just trying to lure me to spend thousands of dollars with them and that isn't happening - ever. Not with Fingerhut. It helped me get my score out of the hole but now? I'm ready to dump them if they won't stop this temp crap.  I've had a balance with them in the past upwards of $800 bucks, it's down to $100 right now and I have no plans of buying anything from them.

Anyway, it's Saturday. I got my butt out of here, went over to Lowe's, got some small engine carb cleaner, some fresh 40:1 2 stroke gas, some weedeater line.  Pull the weedeater out of storage, sprayed the cleaner into the carb, let it sit in there a while, turned it up side down.  Drained the old fuel out of the tank over the fire pit then put fresh fuel in it, fired right up after the second try.  Got the front done - which was over running the curbs with grass.  I was very glad it fired up and worked.  I don't have to buy another weedeater.  I do need a blower, for I am tired of the trees endless dropping on to the ground and having to sweep it up. Other than good exercise, it's a waste of my time.  A bower would get the job done in a fraction of the time spent.

Anyway, I'm going to get out there and rake the yard - once again.  Sweep the concrete - maybe but probably tomorrow.

There are other things going on, but I don't feel like writing anymore right now.

I slept like crap last night. Woke up around 3 am and was never able to get back to sleep. Which made for a very long day at work today.  The only thing that really saved me is that I had a very long drive in the semi, of which I was thankful for.  The jobsite -in  a very small town you have never heard of out in the of the sticks - is this giant plant they are building to process stripped trees into particle board.  They are spending millions and millions of dollars on this place. Where are they going to get the help to run this place?  Apparently a lot of automation, but I'm telling you, if that town even has a 3,000 population I would be surprised.

I was there and hour and a half. So, by the time I got back to the yard, it was time to go home.  In fact, the manager had already sent the other drivers home and it was 4:30.  This is the state of affairs there and it's not going to change, at least not with this dude managing the place.  I was thinking about this all day long today on the verge of potentially starting over somewhere else. I will  miss the idea of having 200 vacation hours.  That's a tough one to swallow.

Anyway, they called today, wanting me to take a drug test.  They had to get a list of places from some company since they aren't locally based here.  Be kinda strange driving for a company in a "lane" that will never have me seeing any management.  I didn't say it would be bad, just different lol.  Well, they wanted me to us a urgent care place in town where I live, which I said fine.  However, when I got there, the place was filled with people in the waiting room.  I decided to go ahead and wait and get this over with.

So, I give them all the info they want. I'm there an hour waiting, I was so tired I nodded out in the chair.  I finally got called to a side window behind a closed door and am told that they don't do drug tests after 4:30.  Well, why didn't you tell me that when I came to the window? I've been here waiting for an hour.  I was trying to find the chain of command so I could switch it to me, but I can't find the chain of command. Fancy that, they can't even find the information that they input into their system.  I wasn't real happy, mostly because they had held me there that long for nothing. Well, sir, you can come back before 4:30 tomorrow.  No, ma'am, I'm at work, thanks.  And walked out.

Came home, wrote the dude at the company an email of what happened, leave it up to them to fix this.

The other thing that was put on me today was this idea of the home owner's friends moving a travel trailer over here and living here in that thing.  I dunno, I said to her, I'll have to ask everyone here what they think. Well, they don't care, come to find out, in face,the lady finds it an exceptional opportunity to cook for ever more people.  Okay, well, then she, my friend that owns the house, wanted me to name the price.  Huh?  Okaaaaaay.  Well, what's lot rent going in this area plus utilities?  We discussed this for quite a while and finally came up with a figure.  I said, but if you want to go lower, I have no problem with it.

Nope, she says, you are running the house, you are dealing with the bills and everything there. So, she texts them with my offer and the lady said sounds great.  But have to discuss it with the dude when she got home from work.  Well, I know these people.  I dunno what they would be like to live with but they are pretty cool to party with lol.

Enough. I'm bone tired. Going to bed 2 hours early tonight. If I wake up at 3 again, at least I'll have some sleep to bank on.

As always, weekends fly by and then you are faced with going to work again Monday morning. In this case, Tuesday morning since a 3 day weekend for the Holiday. Today, we are eating for dinner something called a Cowboy Steak. A huge Ribeye steak, over 2-1/2 pounds, the likes I have never seen before.  Had a small bowl of cereal for breakfast and probably not going to eat anything for the rest of the day so I can try and eat as much of that honker as possible.

Likely going outside and mowing lawns to work up a better appetite as well.  In fact I have no choice since the front lawn has grown several inches since I last mowed it.  I'm waiting for fall to get here so I can plant winter grass - rye - again.  It grows easily and looks beautiful.  The fact that I did that last winter, though, helped the St. Augustine's cover some bald areas on the lawn.  We determined that the lawn has grubs and soon, they should be coming out I believe, so that I can kill them suckers and move on with getting the front lawn looking nice.  The back lawn, however, a completely different story.  Almost impossible to get it looking nice with dogs trampling it all day long.  No clue what to do about that.  There is some grass, but their running areas are nothing but dirt.

Doesn't look too good.  Guess I'll do some research and see what the experts have to say about it.  But if they say get rid of the dogs, well, that's not a happening event.  At least the front lawn looks decent tho.  It's a huge expanse to mow with a push mower.  I got the push mower on purpose to get the exercise, but I've thought about that decision, lol, and possibly not the greatest.  2 weeks ago, I was huffing and puffing badly by the time I got done with the front and back lawns.  I mean, like, sit down for a half an hour and rest type of heat exhaustion.

Okay, well anyway.  I was talking with my friends that own the house.  She wants to do home schooling to become a medical encoder so she can work from home and help with the income. They are barely making it on his income.  She said because of her low income it would only cost her $50 per month.  But, they can't even afford that.  So, I offered to pay for it if I get this new job, it would put her on the fast track to making some decent money and getting them out of Georgia.  You know I can't take that from you Ben.  Well, actually yes you can.  You can pay me back later.  Of course, I have to get one of these jobs first.  I'm very hopeful, but not counting my chickens before they hatch scenario.  I can say I have it when - I actually have it.

But, the trucking industry has seen revival and now the shortages of qualified drivers are starting to show.  There are a dozen truck driver training schools in the 100 mile radius of where I live, one of them a mile away, and they are full of students.  I guess that's a good sign, but honestly?  At some point, they are going to come up with these driverless trucks and then what?  That may be years down the road, but I do believe it is coming at some point.  Hence one of the reasons I have been considering attempting to learn a trade.  Just don't have the money for the schooling at the moment.  Not to mention I would like to get out of trucking.  I'm tired of it.  I suppose alot of that has to do with my current job, perhaps a new job without the bs overlord management I am currently experiencing might help me revive my love for driving.  Dunno.  The real reason I'm switching is money, tho.  If this jerkoff would give me a good wage, i would stay there and put up with his bs.

The shit should hit the fan this week as the requests for background history hits corporate - I have been giving prospective employers corporate number since they don't have managers giving out recommendations or lack there of any more - for obvious reason.  Which I don't care, but once that starts again, I really need a job to get out of there because I doubt things are going to go well for me when he finds out.

Meanwhile, I have also started considering another venture.  Previous ventures haven't gone too far, but that won't stop me from trying again.  This time, modeling after a person in Phoenix that has a side business where she goes to yard sales and buys mostly clothing and resells the stuff on Ebay.  I know how she is doing this since my tenants are the ones helping her.  She pays them a wage to deal with the clothing including washing and drying it, hanging it up to take pics and then packaging it for shipping. This is nothing I would want to do on my own, but the lady living here is definitely not getting much income from the government, she has a disability and yes it's a real disability, but she could certainly do this to not only earn some money but also to refocus her on something other than just living in this house.

I haven't brought up the proposition to her yet since I am not in the place to do anything like that.  Not until/if/when I start getting much bigger paychecks.  I have credit card debt I want to pay down as well.  That trip to California was not cheap.  Not by my perspective of it anyway. Airfare round trip, driving to the airport, paying for parking, Uber trips in California, the hotel?  Around $1,500 put on the credit card. I could have brought some of the expenses down but mom was there and I didn't want to have her go it alone. She had decided on this particular hotel that was more expensive than others I had found in the area, but instead of arguing about it, I just went ahead and booked a room there too.  It was a nice room and a nice stay, not going to complain about that, at all, but now I have to pay for it.  Not something I would ordinarily have done - put a trip like that on a credit card - but if I wanted to be a part of my son's wedding? I had no choice.

The funny thing that has happened is Capitalone decided to increase my line of credit another 3 grand.  That brought the percentage of use down and increased my credit score by 10 points the next month.  I still have a lot of credit available on that particular card, but I'm in favor of living within whatever income I take in.  Credit cards are for emergencies and even then I hate to use them, but in this case, I am glad I have them.  I was looking over my credit score today, the 35 past due house payments - yep that's how bad it got - are still affecting my score and probably will for a couple of years I suppose.  I think after a year my score will go up if I make the payments on time, but for the full effect of it to wear off will likely be much longer than that.

Anyway, the idea of an Ebay store is lurking in the back of my mind if I can get help to do it.  I'm not going to work a full time job and then come home and bear the brunt of the responsibility for it.

As for my son, he sounds like he's doing well.  He has going through some trials and tribulations already in his new marriage, tho not with his wife. Just the ardors of trying to acquire furniture and get an apartment set up into livable condition.   I probably wouldn't have moved into such a pricey place as what he has done, but, I'm not living his life and I said nothing to him about it excepting one small comment before he did anything that the place he was referring to was higher end apartments.  Who am I to question how he spends his money? I'm not.  Just dear ole' dad.  I am going to preach the message of starting to save for retirement though.  Even 2% to start out with is better than nothing.

Speaking of retirement, my 401k account is up 11.56 percent over the last 9 months. That is quite good.  I'm hovering around 50k right now, not so great.  Nothing I can do but keep pressing on and putting as much aside for retirement as I can.  It's taken forever to get it back up to any amount since I got divorced in 2005.  Yes that's a long time ago but I started 401k at zero at that point.  Considering my income I am not going to beat myself up too badly.  I am going to beat myself up, however, for waiting this long to get the heck out of that current place and go find greener pastures.  Excepting my mortgage, I would like to get completely out of debt.  I also desperately need a newer vehicle. Note i said newer, not new.  I'm very much against going into debt on a car, but at some point, I'm going to have to do something. I have the Jeep as a backup right now since it's actually working, but that is older as well.  My car is year model 2004.  I've been driving it for around 9 years now.  I'm quite tired of the thing considering the interior is falling apart.  I don't need a new car, but I do want a newer model vehicle, preferably a pickup.

There's a lot I could do with substantially increased income is all I can say.  It would be a while before I could take a vacation, I've come to terms with that.  That is the reason I kept hanging on at my current place.  If I had stayed until January of next year, my vacation hours would go up another 40 per year to 200. It's the reason I don't want to burn my bridges there. Perhaps after these other people leave, upper management will get a clue - yes he's running the business well but he's treating the people like piles of dog crap.  The business won't run without people to run it.......  They count drivers as expendables, even if we've been there forever.  They simply don't care.  Losing the people that write up the bids, tickets and do all the computer work? Completely different story.   Anyway, I'm going to try and leave on good terms without taking jabs at the end, just say thank you for having me there, if you ever decide you want to up my pay, please give me a call, I would definitely considering coming back.

I also never leave out the possibility of moving back to Phoenix.  Don't want to, at all, but if it happened, I'm at high confidence level that my old GM would hire me if there is a position available.

Well, it's late morning. I guess I best get mowing attire on and go out and get this lawn mowing junk over with.

Well. I'm 233 miles north of Houston, so there is a bit of unnerving going on around here.  People have relatives, family and friends that live down there.  We are hearing reports of getting 7 to 9 inches of rain, starting tomorrow.  Though that's a lot, it's nothing like what Houston has been getting. I spoke with a contractor on Friday - just before all this hell was unleashed - telling me about his wife and son that live down there.  I was like, what what are you doing here?  Aren't you going to go get them?
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Started that 2 days ago, got distracted.

I have other things to talk about now, well the hurricane is still relevant.  I saw probably 100 airboats on the Interstate today, 5 marsh monsters and a LOT of vehicles with "vehicle disaster" or other verbiage on the side of their trucks and trailers.  I mean, it was incredible.

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Ugh, I get started on a post and get distracted.  Anyway, hot on the trail of 3 jobs, all very excellent pay. Those lowest one is a 20 grand per year increase in pay.  All of this is hazmat related, of which I went and got that endorsement not too terribly long ago for this specific purpose: find a new job.  When I saw my checking account yesterday and the level it was at, it only motivated me even more to get the heck out of the place I am at now and get myself into a place that pays much more and doesn't, hopefully, have an abusive manager.

I am torn between 3 jobs.  Not that I have specific offers from any of them - they are all doing their federally required background checks.  They all sound good, one of the stands out because it's a national company, but, that doesn't necessarily mean they are the best.  Another is a family owned company with newer equipment and they claim they treat every employee like family.  Excellent pay at that place, btw and home most every night and weekends off.  So that is a huge plus.  The other lus - Keenan Advantage Group - is a huge company with 11 different "sub companies" I guess I would call it.  They have OTR, regional and local work. I applied there at least a year ago, probably longer, but the local jobs aren't available.

What I was told they do have, however, is a regional position based out of a town about 25 miles from here that has you out for 3 night and home 1.  It is also excellent pay.  The other is out a few days at a time. I'm leaning towards the family company simply because the owner of the company called me, the recruiter has been in constant contact with me either by phone or email.  I sent them the 15 page application today via fax.  Yup, 15 pages.  This is the state of affairs today with federal regulations in the trucking industry.  Even more new stuff they are required to ask for had been added since the last time I went through all of this applying at numerous places.

Oh, Keenan called and I did sent them what they needed but haven't heard from them in several days. Not that that means they aren't interested, large companies deal with potential employees differently, well accustomed to that.  Definitely not a deal breaker, but it would be nice to hear from them. I called them yesterday, got on the train of do this and that to speak to who you want to and then, when the person finally answered, the call was dropped.  I didn't call back again, just have too much going on, but I'm definitely excited about the prospect of earning pay that will put me into a position of doing the things I want to do.  I would really like to help out my son in his first year of marriage with things that they need.  My dad did that with me and I would like to carry that tradition on.

I'm really thinking though that this family oriented place is going to hire me, or offer a job position anyway, if all the background stuff is to their liking. Which I don't see any reason why it wouldn't, but you never know.  I don't count my chickens before the egg hatches, it isn't real until I'm there, working for them - or whoever.  I also got a call from a person today wanting me to come for an interview for "heavy haul".  He was very limited on the background of the company, wanted me to come in for an interview instead of talking about it on the phone.

Oh, the other was Baker Hughes. Another large company. I had a call from someone there yesterday. Hilarious, the lady was funny as heck. We hit it right off. Whether that actually amounts to anything or not, who knows.  I'm not ruling much of anything out.  I want out of the place I am at so badly that much of any decent pay offer and getting me home every day or every few days will work for me.

So, this is all on hold til' next week since it's a holiday weekend.  My "excuses", however, are done.  My 2 trips dad related and my trip to California for my son's wedding are done.  The situation with hours at work has only gotten worse and not going to change. One of the inside salesmen is definitely leaving. The other is mum, but the one that is leaving says he is moving on as well.  One of those screw this company moments in time where I hope the aftermath is enough for corporate to take notice.

And then, we have the situation in Houston.  We got some rain from it, but it didn't hit us near as bad as the weather forecasters had first predicted.  In fact, it was just a bit of rain like any other rain.  But the tragedy going on down there is unreal.  So sad the situation down there.

Well, a new job is really the focus of my life right now, that and a new church.

Warning. This is a bit of language in this post.  Sorry, but not really.  I've had enough of a certain situation that has been irking me for a long time now.

So, I was told on Friday that "I don't believe in asking for raises".  I was also told that I need to do something to make myself stand out to even think about getting one.  Well, darn, I bust my ass every day, I whatever they ask without complaining. I show up to work early.  I take the initiative to do things that aren't asked of me.

This dude had a conversation with the GM who apparently okay'ed a pay raise, but then my manager decided he was going to hold it up and informed me that "we're paying a decent wage'. The HELL you are.  It's about $2.50 per hour lower than much of anything else in the area and even more for certain types of work.

So, I have put in a LOT of applications this weekend.  I had to call on potential employer and tell him I can't take the job.  Not because I don't want to, but because I made a promise to the home owners to take care of this place while they are gone and I can't do that if I'm gone 30 days at a time.  The real plus to this job was 4 or 5 months of being home, not working at all.  Getting paid the same wage as when I'm not out there. I mean seriously.  Sure, you pay the price being out so long, but 4 or 5 months off?  Getting paid?  Paid hotel every night? No double bunking?  $49 per day per diem on top of base pay?  Seriously, I could deal with that.  I would just miss my Dane incredibly, though. That would be a major draw back.

So, that job isn't exactly gone, he asked me to please call him if the situation ever changes. I said yes, when the homeowners move back here.  But that could be a long time from now.  My challenge has been to find local jobs that pay what I want and hopefully no night driving junk.  Or if it is night driving, it's not driving the entire time.  If I have a position where I"m in an out of the truck, I could probably deal with a night job much better. Still, it messes with your sleep cycle and I already have enough issues with that.

I spent 6 hours filling out apps yesterday, going to see if I can find anything else available after getting done with this post.  I'm coming down off of a month and a half of a lot of traveling.  Some of it was a high, some of it was pretty sad, but I can't say I didn't like the traveling.  Went into debt for the wedding trip though.  I need to find a job where I can get my bank savings account back up, my checking account way back up and not be near zeroes, which is a very recent thing, like in the last few weeks. Now, I am crunching numbers.  Writing down the entire budget. I'm half way done with that. Expenditures versus income.  I haven't done that in quite a while because I haven't had to. Bills got paid, 401k getting it's share, savings account getting it's share and still money left over to play, do whatever I want.

The real solution is to just get out of his hell hole I am in with this abusive manager and get out of there.  I'm done with it.  Benefits be damned, working for an @$$hole isn't worth it. I've gone well out of my way and beyond much of anything I would normally do to simply accommodate for this dude, but I've had enough. After that meeting, where before he said he was going to go to bat for me to get a raise, to now, changing his whole tune? SCREW that shit.  Sorry for that language.  Not good excuse, I've just allowed myself to be walked all over and used as a doormat.  Any reasonable offer I get to get out of there, if that occurs, and keeps me local, I'm taking. If that doesn't work, I'll talk to the homeowners about talking a regional job where I'm home on weekends.  That still has me home enough to deal with stuff if anything arises.

I can definitely get a regional job, pretty sure anywhere. There are LOTS of them out there. The only ones I would consider is home weekends, every weekend.  I'm holding out for now for I have put in a large number of applications and there are more I can apply for.  I have been trying to find the fracking industry stuff, but everything I have found so far is out a week at a time at the least, most of them want you out for 21 days minimum.  Just not interested in that, at all.

This is my entire focus right now, find a new job.  I said before that I was waiting until after Caleb's wedding. What an awesome time that was! One for the memory books.  It was one of the best times I have ever had, anywhere, really.  It was so cool seeing old friends and meeting some of Caleb's friends that I have seen and occasionally commented with on Facebook.  I mean, if that could be done all over, I would be all for it!  But those are once in a lifetime type of events, that one just happened to click perfectly at every turn. So fun! Even mom was having a blast. For 80 something plus years old, she did damn well in stamina and enjoying the moment. Really, I was so happy. I am also glad my brothers did not show up. That would have been hell.

My middle brother got into it with mom on Mother's day - 3-1/2 months ago, hasn't spoken to her since.  How do you dis/shit on your own mother on Mother's Day?  I despise him now.  It was bad enough the crap he pulled on me, or writing off dad to the point he hadn't spoken to him in a decade and a half, but mom? Mom is cool, she doesn't start shit, she takes a neutral position on everything, she tried to maintain the peace, but my middle brother is an asshole, there is no other way to put it.  He is pure, unadulterated asshole.  Jerkoff to the nth degree.  Stuck up little - person to put it nicely.  Arrogant, egotistical, thinks he's the cat's meow. He's an idiot. A moron of the worst kind.

He has isolated himself and he can live with it.

I started going back to church a month ago. I had stopped going because the church I was going to was just plain too far away.  This one is 5 minutes away, the preaching is totally in alignment with what my views of the Bible are, the people are nice and friendly, the worship service is good.  I know, I don't much sound like a person going to church after the language above, I offer no apologies.  I have my breaking points and that is one of them. The bible teaches us to respect out father and mother. My middle brother does none of that.

Well, anyway, I am hopeful to hear back from one - or hopefully several - of these companies this coming week.  I won't be let down if they don't. I'll keep punching out applications at a fervent pace until something connects.  I am very determined.  I'll switch to regional search if I have to, but I am getting the bleep out of the place I am at now.  I refuse to work for a person that treats his employees the way he does. 2 drivers, 2 inside salesmen and me looking for a new job.  Does that say anything?  It's not just me. Plus the dude that left a few months ago.

So what else is there? Umm, full work week coming up. Tho this week was too. I've just had a lot of time off lately.  Next weekend will be a 3 day weekend for Labor Day.  I'll take that.

Anyway, posting this one before I get distracted and don't post it for a week lol.

Well, here we are, home.
Not really the biggest downer ever.  Just the s*** that occurred when I came back here in the house.  I notice now that entry as a draft, maybe I will post it - maybe not worth it.

That was a situation that occurred in the house here and is an entire entry in itself.
The real thing of interest for me was coming back to work and seeing the manager coming down on all kinds of people at different levels getting reamed. Yes, about petty stuff. Please.  I steered clear of it, though I heard a lot of it.  In other words, yes, I was there, and yes, I said nothing. I was no part of it, yet it was astounding to see this man riding people that give their all to doing whatever he says to do.

Humans make mistakes, he has no grace or mercy for that.  It's perfection, perfection, perfection.  He proclaimed that "we are on the top now", comparing us to other stores in the region. Yes, we may very well be, but at what cost to the human experience?  To living a life of peace, including at the workplace? He's threatened to get rid of certain people if they don't step up their game. Maybe that is warranted, but he's also riding people that strive for excellence.  I saw an inside salesman come into the showroom the other day and instantly knew by the look on his face.  I asked him if everything was ok? He put his hand up to the top of his forehead and gestured.  In other words, the shit has gotten deep, he's getting fed up.

The other inside salesman is looking for a new job.  They both might be, in reality, I dunno about the other dude, I haven't asked him and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't tell me if he was. It would come back on him if the manager found out. The outside salesman have it too good there, they are making too much money. The manager isn't really over them, in fact he isn't their manager at all, but he can and does make life hell for them .

But, this coming in to work two days in a row and walking in on this stuff was astounding the. Day 2 was worse, actually. He was riding 3 people.  The 2 inside salesmen and the warehouse "manager".  The warehouse manager was in a foul mood for the rest of the day after that. I didn't ask what the manager was chewing them out for, I heard some of it, I've heard it over and over.  Just getting shitty over minor things that he should be able to talk to people about without acting like a total ass.

The warehouse manager is close to retirement.  The 2 inside salesmen have a lot of years left in front of them.  If I were in my 20's or even 30's, I would be going back to school, learning something that is for the modern world - namely automation - and getting degrees in relevant fields.  My desire to go back to school has always been stifled by the exorbitant amount of money they want to go.  I would love to learn something different and get into a completely different line of work.  But, education is the key nowadays.  Oh well. My only concern with my field is how long will I be able to pass the medical exam?  Or even, will the field become automated in itself?  They are talking about driverless cars and trucks, it's coming sooner or later.

Well going to post  this one even though unfinished. Appears I haven't posted in a while lol.

August 26, 2017 Facebook Is Down!

Facebook has crashed. People either can't get on, or can get on but can't post, comment or do anything.  You know? I'd love to see it down for about a week and find out what people would do in it's absence.  People structure their entire lives around FB, the awakening might be exactly what this nation needs!

6 am in Torrance, CA.
Yesterday, I witnessed the most beautiful wedding I'm likely to ever be a part of, ever.  I'm still just amazed how wonderful it was.
Caleb has a lot of close friends and those were his grooms men. They took the wedding seriously, definitely, but at the same time they did the same kinds of fun things with each other that you might expect young men to do that are filled with the love of the Lord.

Mom and I were actually the first ones to walk down the aisle, apparently as tradition would have it. I'm not sure, but it was my former pastors that showed up to run it, namely, Susan, who has done a large number of weddings and has the protocol down to a science.  I am quite sure that if she hadn't been there the whole thing would not have turned out as amazing as it did.

It was funny because when the grooms men came up, they had obviously practiced special handshakes with Caleb. Each one did a different one with him and it was quite comical but still they were in the state of mind of, this is Caleb's big day. Anyway, it was almost magical the whole experience.  Out doors, gorgeous, beautiful day, maybe a quarter mile from the beach.  Trump golf course below the facility, I didn't know there was a Trump course out here. This particular area is very ritzy, it was amazing that there would be a Salvation Army facility here at all.  They said it has been there for at least 50 years, so I am assuming the Salvation Army College was there before this all got built up into a fancy, pricey area.\

There are no large signs at the entrance, just two small signs that say what it is and then an unassuming driveway down a steep hill to the entrance of this rather large facility. The Uber drivers that lived there all their lives had never heard of it and said they probably had driven past this place a hundred times and never saw it.

Anyway, after the ceremony was picture taking time and of course mom and I were in that.  But our portion of it was over quickly and we left the area to go to the reception area, where there was a chocolate and vanilla fountain set up replete with strawberries and various types of fruits to dip into it.  That was outside, and then we were ushered indoors to have a marvelous dinner of fresh salmon and chicken cordon blue.

I got to visit with friends I hadn't seen in many years.  Some of them, the last time we visited, our relationship not going so well, especially with other former pastors of long ago. That was a falling out from long ago that was well documented in this or one of my blogs, but I think this one.  But the past is behind us, we are older now and it isn't worth carrying around that kind of baggage. At least not for me and she didn't either. In fact, we sat together at one of the head tables and had a good time.  That, including my first ex wife.  We didn't talk much, my ex and I, but we had to be amiable for the sake of our son.

When Caleb and Grace came in, about an hour later actually, apparently they were taking all kinds of pictures down there and whooping it up, they went straight to the dance floor and had their first official dance together.  This place had dozens and dozens of people that are in the college there that had volunteered to serve the guests.  In other words, it was much like a restaurant.  I will certainly be writing my version of a letter of thanks to the college when I get home.

Anyway, it was an evening full of all kinds of quirky stuff. Such as the money dance. Where some of the guys stood with baskets to take donations of any kind to have a dance with the bride or groom.  It may have looked gay, but it really wasn't. Just young people having a good time.

The evening progressed and the activities started to die off and it was obviously time to start thinking about leaving. Mom was pretty tired out by that point anyway. She is in her 80's and I was escorting her everywhere.  She dressed up for the occasion and was very beautiful, took a nice pic of her and posted it on my FB wall.  It was nice that Caleb's grandma could show up. Grace's entire family lines appeared to be there, including grandma and great grandma.

The thing that got to me was that Grace and Caleb were going to spend the night in one of the dorm hotel rooms.  I mean, I found that out as this was all happening in the reception, but then one of the young men came up and said don't worry, we have that covered. We are surprising them with a hotel stay overnight at a very nice hotel just down the road from here.  Awesome.  They had made a gift basket up for the occasion. Later on, Caleb asked what is in there. I smiled and giggled a little, uhh, son, stuff you will probably need tonight.

It had dawned on me that my ex was having her son leave the nest.  Yes, Caleb is 24 but he's been living with her since I left Phoenix and when he's been in town.  That obviously isn't going to happen now and she is going to be having an empty room. The Susan said no, I'm going to fix that room up. She helps out with people that need a place to stay that are affiliated with the church, I am going to see to it that she isn't living in an empty house.  I have no ill will against her.

I didn't intentionally set myself up to be living with people that love me as family, and they are currently in Georgia, but that's exactly what is happening in my life.  As it stands, my only real family are my mom and my son.  My brothers are pretty much permanently out of the picture. I found out yesterday from mom that my middle brother went into a tirade against her on Mother's Day, of all days.  I know mom can be a little bit difficult at times, but nothing worth blowing up over.  She's older, she is set in her ways, but she generally has a sweet demeanor about her. I can't even imagine what it was that set off my stupid brother on her special day and I don't really want to contemplate it, for it will just irritate me to no end. She was saddened by the fact that he hasn't spoken to her since then.  I doubt he's spoken to my oldest brother, so his prophecy about me when he went off on me was it earlier this year or late last year? Can't remember, but is actually coming upon his head.

His anger and hate are coming back upon him in ways I doubt he imagined.  Mom said because of his ego and pride, he won't apologize and so, because of that, he is stuck there.  I fully agree.  I made my apologies but he didn't accept them. He wanted more apologies and then went off into a 1,000 word texted tirade of how terrible I am, how I need psychological help, on and on and on.  I don't imagine a person in that sort of mind frame having much of a peaceable life.  I almost feel sorry for him, but now that he's done it to mom, I don't much care anymore.

Well, I probably should wind this one down.  I need to leave out of here in an hour to get to LAX which is about a 30 minute ride.  Need to find an Uber a bit in advance and leave myself a couple of hours at the airport to get everything taken care of. I am always apprehensive about TSA because you never know how long the line is going to be, how long it's going to take to get through it or what potential trouble they may give you.  If it weren't for that, you could easily arrive at an airport less than an hour from boarding time with no problems. It's not a chance worth taking, you don't want the airplane to take off without you.

I planned this particular day out so that I wouldn't have to be rushed early to get this all done, which mom apparently did not do.  I would have liked to go with her to the airport but she had to leave much earlier than me and I just wished her a happy journey back home. She had a great time though, she was all smiles and laughter last night until fatigue settled on, but she did remarkably well considering.

I will have more writing to do when I get home, but I think I better wrap this up, take a shower, get ready to go.

Final full day here.  The wedding starts at 4 eastern time today and probably will go on into the night as far as the reception goes.
Mom was exhausted last night and considering her age, I thought she did very well to be able to last as long as she did. In fact, for being in her 80's, she is doing very well indeed.

We met for for free breakfast earlier.  The golfing lady came in and sat down right next to us, so we got into yet another conversation. She is going to do some practice golfing today before the real deal starts tomorrow. I wished her good luck, she is in contention with 52 other ladies for 15 spots.  I dunno how good a golfer she is, she didn't too her own horn which I found very nice, indeed, especially in this world full of braggarts and self-exalted human gods floating around telling everyone how superior they are to everyone else.

I've had a pleasant time here.  The loud, obnoxious "neighbors" must have checked out, for I didn't hear a peep last night and I slept like a log.  I was seriously tired after a fitful night of not sleeping the night before.  Or very little sleep, anyway.  So, I got in 9 hours worth.  I'm enjoying my hotel room today, I'm going to go for a swim in a bit, have a lunch with mom a little later and then get out my wedding outfit, iron it nice and tight and get ready for the grand affair. I was contemplating going to the beach, but I suspect that would take too much of my energies away for the wedding ceremony and ensuing reception.

Caleb - isn't having a honeymoon afterwards which I found disappointing though I said nothing.  It is obvious the money situation is tight and they just couldn't afford one. From my perspective, and it's just IMO of course, but I think your wedding night should at least be a hotel stay at a fabulous resort and have the time of your life if you aren't going to do anything else.  I gave him the money I had to give him last month, it was the best I could do at $350.  Good thing I gave it to him then, I'm seriously going to be hurting after this trip lol, even trying to be frugal the expenses are adding up.  If it wasn't for Uber, it would really be costly.

Dangit. I just looked up the number of the dropped call from yesterday. It was an employer trying to contact me about a job. It was Chem-Air. They are a huge company hauling all kinds of products for various types of plant operations and such. I hope I didn't blow it, but the call kept cutting out until it totally dropped. I am pretty sure I would love to go to work for a company like that as long as the starting pay is good. Wait, this is a different job. They go around spraying chemicals out of helicopters, you pull up with a tanker filled with the chemicals they spray. The helicopter actually lands on top of the truck to refill. Pretty crazy stuff, but they are advertising a good pay package, definitely going to give them a call Monday.  I'll be back in town and I took off Tuesday as well. It makes little difference now in taking vacation time since we are stuck at 8 hours mostly and no OT.

Before, taking a vacation meant giving up the OT and taking a smaller paycheck, not anymore.

Dangit, I'm really not happy about that call dropping.  Best I can do is apologize Monday and hope that they see that I was very busy with important family stuff.

However, the tanker company across the street from work is advertising for CDL jobs.  I have no qualms going over there and at least inquiring about it.

Closing this one out to write a new one.

Well, interesting day.
I got up somewhat early and was trying to decide if I wanted to do anything - or nothing at all.
I decided on mostly nothing at all, because the people next door kept me awake half the night.  Or at least until 1:30 am and yes, I did make a complaint to management who got them somewhat subdued, at least the yelling stopped but they were being obnoxiously loud.  I actually don't know when they stopped. I suddenly dawned me at the hour of the morning that there is probably a youtube video that has fan noise on it - a thing that can help tune out that noise and help me go to sleep.

Sure enough. There were many of them, but I picked the one that sounds like my box fan and, extra added bonus, it's an 11 hour playing video, lol.  Yes, it is a YouTube video that goes on for 11 hours and plays nothing but the sound of a fan.

I got to sleep after that but still woke up early for unknown reasons.  So, I got up, made some coffee, went and had free breakfast, and then sat outside for several hours talking with a lady who is here on an amateur golf competition.  I dunno, man, this lady just sat down at the table, we started talking and it literally went on for 2 hours straight.

She got up and left, I saw a missed call from Caleb so I tried to call him back. Hunger hitting me, I decided I was going to walk half a mile to the nearest, decent place to get a good meal, but, there is a Chinese restaurant attached to the front of this hotel.  I opted for that instead.  This is a real Chinese food place, not one of those buffets.  I was the only white person in there, the place was full of Asians talking their languages.  I was brought a bowl of soup, a large pot of tea and a menu right off the bat.  I decided on double spicy beef, which turned out to be beef with a LOT of jalapenos mixed in with it.  They had chopsticks - fancy ones,  not the disposable kind - on the table and no, there was no silverware.

This turned into an instant adventure.  Can I actually eat this plate of food without a fork or a spoon?  I was determined to at least try.  I just wasn't getting it at first until I started observing other people using them. After close scrutiny, I mimicked them and sure enough, I started getting the hang of it.  Now I understand why they like their rice sticky - it's much easier to pick up with the chopsticks clumped together (but not gross like way over cooked or anything like that).

That fairly well killed the afternoon, got a text from mom: in Uber.  She flew in today, took an Uber to the hotel, but at the same time I got a call from Caleb: we are having a wedding rehearsal and dinner. I know he has a lot on his mind, so I didn't give him a hard time about telling us 30 minutes in advance of what was going on, lol.

It turns out they really should have had a couple of rooms for us at the college hotel facility.  People were surprised that we were staying in an off site hotel, but we weren't given an opportunity to stay at the next to free place.  It would have saved me hundreds of dollars on this trip.  But, it is what it is and I am not going to get pissy about it, it's his wedding let's have a good time.

Well, I saw a bunch of faces I hadn't seen in years. Well I see them on Facebook but not in person.  One of them was a kid I practically raised - who is not a kid anymore lol.  He's a budding actor, actually, trying to get his career off the ground.  He is now 33 years old, he informed me today which was shocking. Yes it was shocking. I mean, I've known him since he was 7 years old, I just had no idea that that kind of time has passed.

My pastors from Tempe were there, we visited for quite a while. My ex was there, though she gave me a very strange look when I first saw her. I said hi and she said nothing, so I figured I would just avoid her if that's the way it was going to be.  I'm not going to let someone else's "stuff" get me down, I want to be full of joy and happiness at my son's special day.  Well, I got to meet Caleb's bride to be, a very sweet girl with a nice family.  It was nice to meet everyone, excepting her dad who continued to ignore my mom and I, so, I just let that go as well. I don't even know the man, have never met him, no clue.

There was a nice dinnerprepared by the bride's mom, very tasty stuff.  We ate and then headed down to a grassy area where there were seats set up for tomorrow.  So it is an outdoor wedding.  I filled in for a person in the guy's side of the ceremony since he hasn't made it yet and got to talk to a bunch of Caleb's friends.  He's pretty popular guy.

The funny thing about this is, mom and I will be the first walking down the aisle.  I thought that strange, but we are to walk down to where our seats are and then take a seat for the rest of the ceremony. Well it was fun anyway.  All these young guys bantering back and forth, I joined in the fray lol.  Well this went on for several hours and mom was getting tired, so I got on Uber and we had a driver there in 10 minutes.  I kinda like Uber. It's much cheaper than a taxi, you don't have to call, you just input the addresses of start and end point, it gives you a price and you agree to it. That's it.  It puts out the search for the nearest driver.

I dunno what else. I get the feeling tomorrow is going to be an emotional day for numerous people.  Me? I dunno. I am just happy that my son is happy. Dunno if this is the best choice or not, it's not my life to live, I wish him the best and prosperity and a long and happy marriage.  And with that, I think this one is done and over with. I had no idea how late it actually is, we were there much longer than I realized.

Started at 2:50am our time over there and ended up here 15 hours later.  I can drive a lot of miles in 15 hours lol, actually 186 of those miles coming over here was driving.  But, no way I would have really wanted to drive a car clear over here for such a short trip.  I mean, I'm here til' Sunday but that really isn't that long.  The flights were uneventful, which is a good thing. The second flight wasn't even an hour long, I don't think, the hope from San Francisco over to LA. I was going to take a city bus to the hotel, but the darn bus station was over a mile a while. After getting up that early, I just didn't feel like walking that far.

So, I called Super Shuttle, parted way with yet another $25 plus tip and got myself over here to the hotel.

So, I laid down as soon as I got in the room and took an hour plus nap. Which made me feel much better.  Walked up to El Pollo Loco, the nearest food place, got some tacos and feeling much better though still tired.  But, I can try to sleep that off tonight.  Mom is coming over sometime tomorrow, not sure exactly when, and coming to this same hotel.

The hotel isn't bad. I don't think it's $100 plus per night quality, but I relented from finding another, cheaper hotel to help her out.  She hasn't done any traveling like this in a good while.

Now, getting on my facebook and seeing pics appear.  These pics are from old friends turned enemies turned acquaintances, is the best way I can put it.  And whose face was with the old friend'w wife, who are all over here somewhere now as well?  My 1st ex.  Of course she's coming, I knew that, he's our son.  But the thought of showing up at his wedding with her there is not really all that wonderful, to be honest.  We haven't talked in years now, after she said she never wanted to talk to me again, I said sure, no problem!  lol

I have no idea where they are staying, hopefully she isn't staying here. But if she is, oh well.  The registry lists this hotel as the one to stay at, but that's just suggestion, you still have to pay for it yourself, it's just the closest one to the facility apparently. I haven't even looked that up yet, another expenditure in getting to the wedding location. If it weren't my son getting married, I wouldn't be over here right now.  As it stands, I am going to relax tonight, try to meet up with my son tomorrow and maybe hang out at the pool here for awhile.  There are going to be a lot of faces here on the wedding day that I haven't seen in many, many years.

I guess the point is that I really don';t want to run into judgmental people that have that in their genes, apparently. I simply won't tolerate it.  You can take that stuff and pile it on yourself while looking into a mirror as far as I'm concerned, my life and my lifestyle are none of your business, thanks.  I'm here to celebrate Caleb's wedding and that is the only focus I will have with all of these people. I do hope to see some people that i had a good relationship with, I just really don't know who is coming.

Anyway, seeing her face almost was crazy. I was like, okay, we have to be in the same area together for much or part of a day. You see, my biggest beef with her is her lying tongue. She has always made up stories or exaggerated things that happened to fit a narrative. He's bad, I'm good type of narrative.  It's part of what drove me away from her.  But, we both have no choice but to put on happy faces, meet and greet whoever and everyone, and also the other people I was talking about.  I know some of them will be there and I doubt they have changed any.

Alrighty.  It's a good thing this hotel has free wifi cause ATT stinks here, too. The second this plan I am on with them is over, I'm switching, probably to Verizon.  I hate their customer service but their coverage is wayyyyy better than ATT.  I got almost another year to go, unfortunately.  But I'm in a metro area, there is no way that I should be having this bad of a service here.

Well anyway, that was my day. Tomorrow is just a lazy day too. This is sort of a vacation albeit I doubt I will get much of anywhere since it will just mean spending even more money to get there. Would love to go to the beach though. Still haven't ruled it out.  The ocean is about 4 miles from here.  The facility for the wedding looks to be about 5 or 6 miles.  I'll figure out what I want to do tomorrow.  The pool here looks inviting enough.  Just would be nice to have access to wheels without having to pay extra for it.

Well enough of this for now.