Thursday, January 8, 2009

Michael

Fin made a good point - it was a reply on one of my other blogs that I am using as a backup site.
The event of Michael moving out will start to see the reduction in food costs.
I had already thought about that, but - the cost savings go beyond that.

First, I have numerous new readers to this blog - probably a little light shed on Michael and who he is and what his relationship to me is would be good, considering the potential ideas people might get.

When I first moved to the property I am living early months of 2004, the house that was here was uninhabitable. I placed an RV trailer on the property to live in while I was basically tearing the house apart and replacing everything inside of it.

The first few days here were uneventful. Until one day, less than a week after living here, I do believe. My son was bored and I suggested he go out and find some new friends to play with instead of bugging me to death about how bored he was.

He left - and came home - several hours later with a kid in tow. This kid's name was/is Michael. Michael and Caleb (my son) came into our trailer, they sat down in the miniature living room and proceded to start playing video games. Michael didn't want to go home that night. I didn't let him stay - I didn't know his parents and thought it a little odd that a kid would stay overnight on his very first day of meeting my son.

Michael was over the next day. As is my want, I make dinner every night - well just about every night, sometimes I get lazy and just throw something easy together. I was making dinner that day while Michael and Caleb were again playing video games - Michael was making comments about the food and the good smell in the air. So, being an extremely hospitable person - just ask anyone that read my JS journal for the time it was there and you will hear from some people how I go way overboard on that particular subject - I offered him dinner. He gobbled whatever it was (I have no recollection of what I was making) down in a few minutes. I gave him more.

That was the beginning. It wasn't long before his "parents" came over - the father getting angry about his son being over here and -- well you would have to know this person, his drug use, his lack of care for his own children, the fact that he doesn't and won't work to support his family - a long list. I wasn't about to get into a fight with some guy over something as petty as a kid coming over to my house, eating my food and visiting with my son and I - so I just calmed the situation down and introduced myself.

From there - the rest is history. A rather LONG and ARDUOUS history, I might add, of my interactions with this family - all of them. All kajillion of them. Michael ended up moving in with us. The facts eventually came out that there was no or very little food in the house, electricity was on whenever they could afford to put money on the card reading device and the water was always shut off. Further, that Michael had literally been kicked out of his and his brother's bedroom so that drug users could inhabit it. They were sleeping on a carpetless floor.

It was a week or so after Michael showed up that he came one day with another kid. This kid turned out to be Anthony, his older brother, of which, I assume, Michael was telling him about the fact that - there's everything here. You know, things like water and electricity, on and on.

Now, it all sounds strange - but for me not really. I was a full-time missionary for 5 years and ministered in various capacities in a church for another 10 or so after that. Helping people has been infused into my blood. Seeing kids that aren't getting the things they need in life to - live - well, I didn't think too terribly long about it before just letting them stay.

Skipping over volumes of JS entries worth of stuff that has occured since those boys moved in with us and up until now. Anthony - I kicked out early in 2008. He was getting into drug use and was getting drunk - to the point of violence. The situation came to a head one day and I invited him off the property. I have not even considered him coming back - again - another long story. Michael, however, is the opposite of Anthony. He doesn't do drugs, doesn't want to do drugs and is basically a good kid. I had figured that sooner or later, his mother would put the pressure on him to move back. I figured right. He moved out - basically - 2 weeks ago. This week is the first that he actually hasn't been here at all. I miss the kid - yes, we have grown pretty close in that 4 plus years.

But - my expenses have gone down noticably. I was doing Michael's laundry, feeding him and he loves to take showers that drain out an entire 40 gallon hot water tank. He eats like a pig - literally. He is skinny as a bean pole but will sit there and eat, and eat and eat. Fortunately, he's not a picky eater and prefers "simpler" foods, read: cheap - but consuming that much of it still costs money. I have found this week that I have had to adjust the amount of cooking dramatically.

I was not, however, buying him clothing. Well, I wasn't buying him much clothing. He's into designer this and that, stuff that costs too much money. His mother apparently MUST have got on the free rent program, cause she is living in a place now and still has money to buy junk. I say junk because in their situation, one would think they would find better ways to spend their money. But, if you have read this blog on JS for any length of time, you know these people and you know what they do. For those that haven't been here - they are the most irresponsible, careless, reckless people I have EVER met.

It's amazing the amount of money it costs just to have a person in a house.

It's also interesting that with each financial blow, something seems to happen to help shore it up.
Unfortunately, winter won't last forever and those $350 plus per month electric bills will be coming back.

BTW, I did not ask Michael to leave, or even intone such. His mother basically told him he needed to come back. Purportedly, Michael will be coming over on weekends, don't know, remains to be seen. They moved into a place all of about 2 and a half miles from here, though their tenure at their new address remains to be seen.

Well, anyway, as I attempt to mitigate the "damages" with the loss of OT and now the proposed/demanded increase in mortgage of which I still have yet to be able to get through to anyone at this new mortgage "company", and other things - I MAY be able to survive this storm. Who knows? If I don't, plenty of apartments around for $700, $800 and more per month. Of course, they probably don't allow 4 dogs, 2 of them Great Danes...............no, I'll do everythingI can to save my place, stay in it and continue living the life I currently have. It may not be the greatest, but it's better than being homeless, dogless and a host of other things.

ben

9 comments:

Dorrie said...

I have been an avid reader of yours for a long time, but it was good to get the "beginning" told. I really admire your patience about everything!

silvertag said...

I agree! I've been reading you for a bit, but wasn't really sure who Michael was. Now I understand. You are a very generous person! Kudos to you!

On a side note - it's funny to hear you talk about how winter makes your bill goes down! Here in Canada - it's the opposite. Our heating bills go sky high in winter. Although we are lucky, we live in a modular and our gas bill has only gone up about $20 a month for heat.

Hang in there. Things will get better and turn around. I have faith!

Labetine said...

I'm glad to know the story also. I've always wondered but didn't want to ask. What a kind soul you are, Ben. God bless!
PS, I'm glad you're here on blogspot now. I never see you anymore.

BonnieBehave said...

I admire your willingness to help out. Bill and I have taken some people down on their luck into our home and sadly, it does cost extra. Even more so, sometimes ya get bit in the butt for it. But it's true, when you're helping others, help shows up for you, too. :)

Benita said...

I am touched by your generosity and your caring heart.

Anonymous said...

Dorrie: Wow - I thought you already knew all of that! Maybe a few other history things I'll go into as well.

Silver: Thanks. The winter bill goes down because I don't turn on the heat. There is no AC being used so there is no electricity being used for heating and cooling. 3 months of summer that will get bill up in the mid 300's and the other warmer months in the 200's.

Betty: I've been to your blog many times, I guess we can't see who has been to our blogs now so you don't know.

Bonnie: The last sentence says it all: give and it shall be given unto you (my version of what you said).
ben

Sunny said...

You really are a kind, compassionate, and generous man, Ben. Your faith shows :)

I admire you for putting up with people and things, and your courage to save what you've got!

Tammy said...

Ben, It will all work out for you. I am looking forward to the better economic times where you are able to help the people that you choose to help without it beating you down.
Even if Michael stays with his mom, you have made such a huge impact on him that she won't be able to change.
He was brought to you for a reason.

springbaby said...

Ben...Kudos on your ministry! There is nothing worse than a child with no food, no shelter, no love. You will be blessed with abundance -- have faith!

 Saturday - late afternoon I did not get up early since I had second load and was really deep in sleep again.  Like, this all seems to have ...