Monday

More rain.
It was overcast all day long, and then finally started raining again not half an hour ago.
It wasn't very surprising to hear the rumors of reduced hours, shut down stores and employee layoffs to start surfacing again at work today.
Though - it is pure speculation based on a little bit of fact. The fact was that management was definitely considering cutting everyone's hours back to 35 per week.
Speculation is that it will now happen. Further speculation that one of the outposts - a store that isn't doing very well - will be shut down and the 2 employees running it will be shipped back to the main branch.

More fact that salary-plus employees have had a new work shcedule introduced,they are no longer salary plus and I really haven't got an idea of WHAT they are on now.

Even further, the general manager of our division in AZ outwardly shows hope that we are going to ride out the storm, rumor that he is definitely wondering what's going to happen next. Corporate will make whatever decisions they decide to make - if any - and then we'll see what happens.

Reality? If the economy continues to go the way it does, I'm guessing a nationwide percentage layoff at our company. I'm also guessing they may just do away with both stores in the valley, the one I already spoke of an our store and go back to servicing all accounts out of the main branch. The cost savings would be substantial. We have the drivers and the trucks to be able to do so. Further speculation of local layoffs, meaning our division.

So, I sit here wondering what's coming next. I mean, the company isn't going to just continue on with their plans of expansion, instead, it's going to do whatever it has to to survive. This is only natural and for me - well - I will just go to work everyday and hope that I will have continued employment there.

I talked to 3 different drivers of 3 different trucking companies that come into our yard today. One driver rattled off a dozen companies that are laying off drivers, another said his company is doing well, the third the same as the first.

Of course this is cause for concern. I sit here and wonder what I am going to do if I get the axe. My brother - every time I talk to him - asks me what my backup plan is. WHAT backup plan? How do you make a backup plan in this kind of economy? I have none. Hit the streets and start pounding the doors for a job, that's all I can say. I hope it doesn't come to that. I know there are millions of other people that are wondering the same thing: will there be a job to go to tomorrow. Millions more have already lost their jobs. I also ponder what the American landscape is going to be after this collapse is over and done with.

The signs of inevitable restructuring/layoffs/whatever are the dismal numbers that are being posted. Or the days that there are no deliveries to make. 2 years ago this time we were going full-steam and the company was making plans for further expansion. I was working full days, non-stop go, go, go. Today? I did a return of some storm drainage pipe and did transfers. Tomorrow - not a single delivery for our branch unless something changed since I left work today - which it often does.

So, that's what my mind has been filled up with lately. It transcends everything else, even the situation with Mary. Without a job, I sink, period. I join the huge list of people losing their homes.

I have a backup plan, yes I do. It's a gruesome plan at best. It would suck, undoubtedly. But it exists. It might save my house. You might already guess what it would entail. I'd pitch a tent in my back yard and rent out every single room in the house if I had to - if it were possible - to keep from getting thrown on the street. My son would just have to stay with his mother. Oh yes, I have thought about worst-case scenarios. Food stamps, unemployment, a house full of tenants - a house FULL of tenants.

Whatever. I'm a survivalist. I always have been. I dream up answers where there are none. I wouldn't care about losing the car, but if I lost the house - it would be a LONG time before I would EVER qualify to get into another house again, and at the age of 45, that is a VERY unpalatable thought. I'm VERY glad I did not sell the old car. It's sitting there, and it runs. It needs a new battery now - but I got it running last weekend and had it running for quite a while to ensure lubrication of internal engine parts - and a new harmonic balancer. Oh, and it has a leaking wheel cylinder. Relatively cheap fixes.

On a lighter note - I have Friday off. Providing nothing big comes up - if work comes up that precludes me taking the day off, so beit - I get my birthday day off. So, a 3-day weekend. I came home this afternoon and slept for an hour and a half. I didn't sleep well last night - woke up at 1:30 am and didn't get back to sleep until 4:00 am, meaning I had about 5 hours of sleep last night. I'm thinking of taking a couple Ambien tonight.

I'm loving the 24 TV series and it comes on in half an hour. Watch that and go to sleep after it's over. Get whatever sleep I can and go to work tomorrow. When the rain lets up, I'm going to start working out hard. Not for the benefits of weight loss or whatever, but for the benefits of sleeping at night, releasing anxiety. I have my son's weight set here and I have the mountains behind me. That's all I need and neither costs anything. I intend on working out until I am so drained that I can't and don't care about thinking about such things as the economony. I've done it many times before - I have been working out since I was 10 years old - it's nothing new to me. It's an unbelievable high in itself without drugs or alcohol.

I've also thought about going on the 10-day Master Cleanse. Not sure if I can handle that or not - basically fasting, no solid food. I am also thinking of just pure fasting. Water only. But not for 10 days - probably like 5 to 7 days. I've done that before, the rejuvenating effects are crazy. Your body purges itself. You become mentally "crisp". You don't die in 5 or 7 days of fasting, trust me, you don't. You feel weak the first 3 days - that's a hurdle - after that, you start getting this "high". Whatever it is, it keeps you on it. You sleep well - quite well - after several days of eating nothing. I've done it many times, I speak from experience, at least for my own body.

So, then there's Mary, the other room I intend on renting out, and all kinds of OTHER things beyond what I have already written.

My dogs are currently living on $16.00 per 50 pound bag of cheap dog food compared to $26.00 per 44 pound bag of better dog food. I throw in cheap meats here and there. The stuff I bought at Fry's a while back - 10 pounds of chicken for $3.37 or whatever it was - feeding them that. Put a little chicken and some juice in it. They'll survive this with me, I hope anyway.

I'm going through this stuff because our world is being turned upside down. If it doesn't affect you - you must be in a good place. I'm not going to say I envy you, but I certainly don't hold it against you.

As for this entry, enough.
ben