Church

I seriously did not want to go to church today. I was pulling out of my driveway still feeling sluggish apparently from getting up too late this morning. I was not in a good mood. I got to church and nothing changed about that. The service began and I was still quite out of it and really was contemplating just leaving.

Nothing against the church or the people, I was just not into it today, at least at the beginning.
That attitude didn't change, either until at least 2/3rd's of the way through the service. I don't even know what's going on, I just woke up groggy and I am still having trouble with it now. But, I know that sleeping in too long always does that to me, and certainly sleeping in until 7:00am is WAY too long. If there is any added benefit to the sleeping in, it is completely outweighed by the feeling my body has all day long.

But I was spiritually challenged today. Sometimes, I hear a message and wonder if it was just for me. I know my need to get more involved in the church, but to be honest, I thought I was doing well to just get back INTO church. But it's not enough. I know that from my walk with the Lord, not because somebody told me. The daily prayer? I could have gone at least twice if not 3 times this week and I made internal excuses not to go to any of it. Wednesday night service? Well I have a better reason for not going to that: I am going to bed at 8:00pm now on weekdays - well actually I have started to go to bed that early on most night regardless if it's a weekday or a weekend night.

But this week? I'll consider trying to go. If I have to get up and leave early, well I hope no-one takes offense at it, but that's where I'm at right now. Prayer? I have to promise myself to make at least one of them. I haven't promised myself that yet - I am still in the "consideration" stage. When I make a promise to myself, I do not like breaking it. Breaking my word to my own self? How lame is that? I'm trying, that's all I can say.

I called my son about today's appointment. No answer. He just called. He said: "I thought we were going to do that next weekend". I didn't get on his case, but he asked me for this, I didn't ask him. I know what he said: it was for today. In reality? Where my head is at right now? Good thing to put it off anyway. He has a friend - his age/18 - whose baby is apparently dying. 2 years old. He and Caleb's friends are taking him to the fair today to try and cheer him up.

I simply encouraged Caleb in the Lord: if the Holy Spirit speaks to you to pray for him or even the baby, listen and act. So, this appointment is put off until next weekend. Not a big letdown, again, considering how I am feeling today.

What else? I sat in church today and quietly prayed for all of my neighbors involved in this ordeal that is going on between us. "Love they neighbor". Mostly prayed for 350 man. No, not that he would die and go to hell, but that he would come to find the love of the Lord and that somehow, someway, this whole situation could be changed by the power of God's love. I believe in that, so much so that I feel kind of stupid for not praying about this a long time ago.

Since my afternoon is now free, I am going to force myself to go outside and putter around with the landscaping stuff for a while. Nothing grand, just puttering. Maybe that will clear my head.

ben