So, a bit ago, I get a phone call.
Didn't recognize the number on the cell phone.
Hello? Hi Ben. It's Josie and she's calling me from a hospital down south.
She goes into this elongated - and somewhat unbelievable - story about how
she ended up in the hospital after her family believed she was trying to commit
suicide again. I listened for 10 minutes before her phone cut out and then I called
her back. She was in the middle of something, she is being detained at the hospital for
72 hours. She said she would call me back tomorrow and finish the story.
Obviously, she is not going to church with me tomorrow.
Before that, I get a phone call from my sister-in-law. I knew what this was going to be about:
Mary. Who started what with who? I wasn't there, I wouldn't know. Yes, actually, I would and
do know. Mary hasn't changed on iota since I used to hang out with her in our teen years.
Which isn't a good thing, in case you were wondering. Susan - my sister-in-law - tells me
a completely different story than what Mary had told me, including Mary's alleged and daily
use of marijuana.
At this point? If you want to smoke your brains out of your head, be my guest. I have absolutely no desire, whatsoever, to smoke dope and that's that. If true, it would certainly explain some things about Mary and her behavior that I observed when over there last week. I smoked pot for 7 years in my youth, I have a bit of experience with it.
I have come to believe that when you hear 2 completely different stories about the same incident from 2 different parties that were there, you probably don't necessarily believe that either party has given you the whole picture and you attempt to mesh the two stories together and find some middle ground and use that as a base reference point. Notwithstanding the fact that both parties are adament that they are right and the other is wrong. Or, more pointedly: that one party is telling the truth and the other is lying.
I'm going to limit my interactions with Mary at this point. Not that I won't visit again, but I am not going to be over there as much as she would like me to be. As for Susan, I started talking about church tomorrow morning. I throw out the lure and see if there are any bites. Yep, I do it on purpose: drag people into church if they are consenting and see what happens. She said she would meet me there at the start of the service. Whether that is actually going to happen or not, who knows. I just know that I fully intend on going to church in the morning regardless of what anyone else is doing.
Oh, and Mary allegedly told Susan that she is thinking about getting back together with her ex - even though she told me differently. Of course, that doesn't really bother me, I am not in love with Mary neither do I consider her a girlfriend nor am I involved with her in any way at this point excepting as old friends. And that is where it's going to stay. The part about her getting back with her ex is what doesn't bother me, the allegation that she lied to me about it - does. But, I had questioned her a couple of times about it anyway - it was odd to continue to see and hear her spending so much time with that guy and have her continue to tell me that she is "just" friends with him.
Whatever. Monkeys don't grow in barrels.
Goodnight.
ben
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2 comments:
Relationships are complicated, and I in no way consider myself to be an expert.
But one thing that fifty years of being in and out of them has made me accept as a truth is this: lack of basic and actually total honesty between the parties dooms it from the start. You may have something, but it will not be based on trust, which I consider basic to such a relationship.
Good luck to ya!! fin
You're right, relationships always get rather complicated - but fortunately not all of them are bad. I totally agree that honestly is a baseline in any relationship and without it, the relationship - sooner or later - is doomed. I have nothing with her, I already know this and therefore am not pursuing it from that angle. I have, in fact, no angles at this point, especially considering the conversation I had with my sister-in-law over lunch today about the situation and Mary and her's interaction. I can get along with Mary to a point, but when she starts cranking on other people to the point that it's embarrassing, I find myself wanting to leave and head home. Hence, the desire to limit my time over there - but - as a friend - I will visit occasionally.
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