Easily hands down the worst sickness I have endured in a couple of years at least.  That's because it wasn't just one thing. I started with bronchitis and coughing incessantly alllll day long for weeks but then this week, got hit by the flu on top of it.  Thursday night, a very foul headache took over and continued on allllllll day long yesterday.  I have had zero energy.  I took 3 days off of work.  I was hoping to get anything done towards the move and only on one day did I feel good enough to pack one box.

As I said before, this couldn't have hit me at a worse time.  I should be done packing boxes by now and just doing finishing touches and making sure all duck are in a row, instead, I am no-where near done. It's pressing on  me bad, but there is nothing I can do!  If I am sick, I'm sick, I can't just wish it away and I can't just magically ask for my energy back.  If I start on something, I get tired in 10 minutes and have to go lay down.  I completely gave up on it yesterday with that headache, in fact I gave up on everything. I just made a trip to the bank yesterday and that was it. It was soooooooooo unbelievably miserable.

It's one thing to get a headache that feels that rotten for an hour or something and take some pills and get rid of it.  It's entirely another to get on that won't go away regardless of what you do and the only thing that makes it feel better is to lay down and go to sleep.  To put it into perspective, I was sitting here in my kitchen on the computer yesterday with tears coming into my eyes, involuntarily the pain was that bad.  I was not having an emotional meltdown, it was just the constant, unending pain of it that would not subside for any reason, even acetaminophine or later trying the other stuff, which has completely escaped my mind what it's called now.

So here it is, the 2 week countdown,  the headache is all but gone - I can still feel it but nothing like yesterday - I have so much to do and so little time to get it done.  Hit the panic button because that's how I feel at this point.  And sitting here doing nothing is still  all I can muster.  This would be the third day of the flu so that makes sense, flu doesn't just go away in a day.

So, do I force myself to just get with it and get stuff done regardless of how bad I feel? Or sleep and rest and get better and then hope once I have my energy back that I'll have enough time to get at least the bare minimum done and dump the rest on Mark?  Guaranteed George and Susan aren't moving into my room until I leave, I had other plans but those were shot out the window starting with that bronchitis.

This is getting complicated, much more than it should or needs to be.  I still wonder if I there is a message in all of this that I am not hearing or seeing.  Is it the enemy fighting me before a great victory? Or God telling me don't go?  Well I am not one of those people that believes that God "makes" people sick, still, am I missing something here?

I dunno.  I'm pretty much headlong into the thing at this point, kinda hard - not impossible - but kinda hard to turn back and say, oh well, this isn't working, gong, let's do something else.  Besides the tentacles entrenched into that family at this point and her for that matter, I have all but quit my job here and slated to start over there later on this month.  I still haven't even found a place to live over there yet.  Which isn't the end of the world there is always extended stay places but I would like to get something sealed and done before I get there.  Ohhhhh how I wish I had that 401k loan paid down enough to pay it off and take out another loan against it, that would help this situation immensely right now.  Still got over $700 to go before it's done.  Take out a 5k loan and not have to worry about money issues.

This is all taking a step into thin blue air off a ledge a thousand feet up from the bottom and wondering where my foot is going to land.

Well I'm going to start stressing if I get off onto this subject too much and stress does not help get over illness, so I guess I better stop.  I have found, though, at least a couple of extended stay motels that would do if I find nothing else.  There is, of course, the tenting option in a campground right there in Longview.  Not as bad as it sounds since all I would be doing is sleeping there, the rest of the time either at her house or at work.  I'm going to call this an adventure and attempt to start treating it that way and care less where or how this adventure unfolds and if that means a campground then so beit!  Keep my expenses WAY down on living!  Look, there are plenty of rooms available there just the totally wrong direction.  I can't be living an hour and a half drive away from work.  45 minutes is bad enough.

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Long interlude.  And time for bed.  I'm feeling much better though, thank God Almighty!

ben