Monday, June 30, 2014

Well computer crisis averted at least.
I got a wifi adapter for my desktop and it works swimmingly well.
20 bucks cheaper than buying a new laptop of which I can't afford right now anyway.
I much prefer this computer anyway and really slowed down the use of the laptop away from home
after getting an iPhone - which kinda takes the place of it since it's much smaller and just
much easier to deal with.

But at home? I want a regular computer with a large screen.  This screen is 21 inches, much easier
on the eyes and pics a lot easier to see in detail, among other things, such as the use of a keyboard
instead of a microphone to type in entries and do other things on the internet.

So that makes me much happier.

As for yesterday's situation, didn't do any major work at the house, just a lot of cleanup and dealing with a particular 16 year juvenile that had a major attitude going, even though mom allowed him to get an iPhone 5s and took him there to get it plus his GF was over and spent the entire day with her.

And there-in lies the problem. That girl comes over and he is all over her.  He cannot be told to do anything without it turning into a major issue.  3 times asked to clean up a mess outside one of the dogs made, 3 times cleaned up a little bit and then rushed back into the house, attitude all over his face and tones.

_____________________________

Uhhh, started this one a few days ago and haven't had time since.  I cannot possibly envision a lifetime of what is going on now.  There is way too much contention in that house and I can't stand it.  There are only two responses I want to give in such situations - either shut my mouth and let them go at it or get up and walk.  I have no desire to be involved in arguments that get to the point that my insides feel like they are being ripped out and I am not even a part of the argument.  There are other options, obviously, that I could do but it just feels like a sharp rake being dragged in my inner man when stuff like that is going on and I just want nothing to do with it.

Yesterday, I was involved with a conversation with Josiah.  I was attempting to lead up to attitude issues that occurred this weekend - of which there were plenty - and she comes out, gets up on the trailer we are sitting on and then takes over the conversation.  Literally.  Then the two started going at it with each other - his gf was wearing short shorts, I mean shorts that show @$$ type of shorts.  The stuff people are wearing today..... Regardless, when they started in and she took over? I just shut my mouth.  After at least 10 minutes of it, probably a lot more I wasn't keeping track and just sitting there listening to them going at it with each other, I was finally asked my opinion.

After all of that and them getting into it they want my  opinion.  Yeah, right.  I just said no, it's time for me to go home.  You want control, he's your son, you said you wanted help but you don't really want help.  She wants me to try and fix things after the damage is already done. A one step forward and two steps back type of situation.  I finally told her she took over the conversation. Oh, yes, she says, you were talking to him about his attitude.  No, I replied, I never even got to that point with it, I was leading up to it until you came and started in on him about his gf wearing short shorts, which had absolutely nothing to do with what I was attempting to talk to him about.  It was time for me to leave.  I get out of there too late and then get back to my place too late and then my schedule is thrown totally off, I was trying to leave a little earlier so I could come back and get some things done.

Anyway, when I left, both of them were sitting on that trailer, one of them looking down at the floor boards saying nothing and the other looking out into the horizon, also saying nothing and looking very dejected.  What was I supposed to do?  I told them both: this conversation was hijacked and now I don't have time to get it back to where I was leading it.  It will take at least another hour to start all of this all over again and lead up to where I am going with it.  I don't have the time for it now, we will have to continue it some other time.

That was the end of my weekend over there.  She continuously says she wants to work together with me with him, yet she makes all of these decisions when I am not there and says nothing about them and then I end up finding out about it from the boy, not her.  Just for one minor thing (not going into major stuff here), she took the guitar that I let him and his brother use away from them.  I brought that up to her.  You took away that guitar and said nothing about it to me.  You want me to confer with you about everything when it comes to them but you just make your decisions and do whatever you please without even bothering to tell me even after the fact.  I have to find out from them about things?!!

That was pretty much the jist of our conversation last night after I got home, which went on too late so I didn't get enough sleep last night, etc etc etc, ad nauseum.  I left it at: You want control of everything, you want to make the decisions, have at it!  I will have nothing to do with it and I will have to think about what is next for me.  I can't live like that and unless this situation starts to change - even remotely a little bit - marriage is way off in the future if ever, not anything that is going to happen anytime soon.

Well here it is time to leave for work, so off I go.

G'day.

ben


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi. Good news on the puter and in some ways, good news on getting an accurate insight, before it is too late, about the kind of dynamics that are still being set up in that family, and which are presently, and maybe always, beyond your control.

Hearing ONLY your side of it, I am in total agreement with you about your reactions. She does not come over well in your descriptions of the interactions with them, which I am definitely taking on face value, as you have always been painfully honest in your writing here. {I sure understand this because I write to myself the exact same way, only don't share it online}.

Hope to catch you in chat soon. You have my respect and sympathy as well. So far, so good.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and btw, I made a comment about 4 entries ago you may not have seen. Still valid, I think. Cheers.

fin

BenB said...

Heya Fin. Yes I pretty much lay it all out on here, some of it my innermost thoughts and feelings, hence the reason I have never really tried to let anyone know about it excepting a few certain people. I'm trying to sort through all of this and get some kind of - normalcy - going here - but in this situation it is pretty difficult and elusive and may not happen for quite a while.

BenB said...

...when I say it, I mean my blog.

 Saturday - late afternoon I did not get up early since I had second load and was really deep in sleep again.  Like, this all seems to have ...