I know I just put up a post, but it really didn't get this all out of my system.
I am working through this entire situation in my mind.
How did I get to this point? Why did I agree to travel clear to
Mississippi for a job?  What is going to happen now?  Will I ever get home now?

Some of the numerous thoughts flooding my brain at this time. 
This place is just another trucking company.  Or is it? They certainly
take a personal interest in the drivers.  They have a vision and a goal.
They are at around 100 drivers right now, they claim they will double that
by this time next year.  Considering the rapid growth they have been making
up til now, I don't doubt them.  But, uhh, what is my part in all of this? I just
want to make a decent living and yes, get home.  Not 3 weeks, not 2 weeks.
Not even weekly. I want home more often than that.  This I made very, very
clear at the beginning of this. 

So I am hearing all this stuff and I have no idea what to think of all of it. 
What I will find out tomorrow is, where my first load takes me. Cause yeah, that's
where this is going. Get in a truck, get a load, drive.  Cept' there are loaded trailers
in the parking lot and they have the paper rolls that I was allegedly hired to haul
in them. In fact, the trailer I pulled today was filled with them. 

I'm just so - perplexed right now.  Not confused, perplexed.  I know why I came out here,
I know what the circumstances were that led me to quit, which will be reaffirmed tonight
when that pathetic paycheck comes through, I just am having a seriously hard time
digesting my decision.  I hated that place, but all because of one man.  Yet, that one man
has turned that place into a very undesirable place to work.  For everyone there. 

Of course he wasn't man enough to say goodbye.  Or anything at all.  I don't consider him a
man in the sense of a person that is mature, has some amount of wisdom, exercises some
restraints on their actions, gives thought to what they are going to say before they say anything.
He acts much like an impudent child. He has no empathy, no amount of concern for his fellow human being.  I much consider him like a dictator with the god-syndrome. 

And now, the other driver that quit a few months ago says the GM called him.  Why? But my thoughts went to: of course.  He's getting pressure from corporate. Why are all these people leaving? You may be able to dismiss one of them as a bad egg, but 3? And are there more considering quitting?  Well, they'll find out eventually, lol.

Yes, I would go back to that place - sans that manager.  No way will I consider going back under his management unless the price was right.  I'm not even saying they would call me back, but I did leave the option open.  Hey, I'll come back for the right money, if you ever decide to make me an offer, feel free to call me.

Whatever.  I"m bone dead tired.  I hope I sleep something tonight, cause tomorrow not only finish orientation, but pick up a load wherever and head out on the open road. 

Oh, the road test.  Lol.  The Safety officer - well, he was asking me questions to fill out on his form for the driving test.  I mean, he was totally kicked back in the truck, making small talk. If he was paying much of any attention to what I was doing, he certainly didn't act like it. But then again, perhaps he was just testing me to see if I can rub my belly and my head at the same time, ie: be completely comfortable behind the wheel and focusing as much thought on the conversation. I'm guessing that was it, but, who knows. 

I mean, the test was like, not even existent.  I had to keep asking him where to go next cause I want to know before I get to a stop sign or red light. Not that that bothered me, I just thought, well, with this dude all kicked back like this and barely even looking at the road, I'm pretty sure I'm passing this test. 

Alright. It's bedtime. Not really, it's over 9 hours til I have to get out of bed.  But I'm zoned out on all this thinking and lack of sleep and stress.  I am stressing, I will definitely admit that.  Paychecks solve my financial problems. Staying out on the road for seemingly endless spans of time isn't acceptable in order to accomplish that.  Weekends are off, yes.  But where will I be spending them? That is the question.