Thursday - semi early

On the day that I could  sleep in if I wanted to, of course I wake up early and can't get back to sleep.  Tuesday and Wednesday?  Woke up in a fog, had a headache all day from getting my sleep interrupted by the alarm and having to go to work early.

Today is different. I have the late load and I'm not really unhappy about that. I've been doing early loads for many moons in a row and tho it's nice getting done early, I don't particularly like that alarm going off in my ears that early in the morning.  I have an hour and 45 minutes before I have to leave, italics for I don't really have to leave that early, I just want to get things started. You never know how long you may have to wait at the washout at that time of day.  

Paycheck came in yesterday, of which I started to write a blog entry but was too tired to finish it so it will sit in the halls of "drafts" along with a thousand other entries I either never finished or forgot to post, lmao.  It was good.  The paycheck that is.  It was around where I wanted and needed it to be.  If I could get a paycheck like that every time or most every time, I would be sitting pretty in a few months, even if there are going to be ridiculously high electric bills at the park.  I am not going to want to do this double-work-life forever, for now it's a necessary - I won't call it evil, I am thinking in different terms nowadays as I try to get myself together with the Lord and not cave to the throes of fleshful thinking in terms of worldliness and anything but heavenly thoughts.  A blessing in disguise? I'm 8 months into working for that company and it hasn't been a joy ride by any stretch of anyone's imagination, at all, nilch, nada, nein, no thank you. 

Regardless, the money is necessary to pay my bills and try to get ahead to be able to go ahead and start park expansion.  I have no idea how much fixing that truck is going to cost, but I'll assume it's not going to be more than a grand and I'm just considering it "the cost of doing business" and a write-off.  In fact, the man hasn't responded to me since I affirmed I would pay for the damage the mower caused, that doesn't mean he isn't going to do anything about getting it fixed, simply that he hasn't gotten around to even reading my reply to him yet.  I dont need the kind of negative review I would receive from "this park put a small dent in my brand new pickup and refused to fix it", there are ugly reviews I can deal with, that isn't one of them.  People see that and they see "unethical business, steer clear".  I wouldn't have considered not fixing it anyway, but my mind tends to wander down all the rabbit trails of "what ifs".  

So the train horns on the truck.  I'm afraid I take far too much pleasure in dealing it back to idiots on the highways cutting me off, slamming on their brakes and driving like jackasses for no more apparent reason than their stupidity or perhaps they are playing chicken, let's see what it feels like to get run over by a fully loaded semi? And when my truck is fully loaded, we are talking the real deal at near 80,000 pounds.  Not every truck running down the road weighs that much, they like to talk like all trucks are at capacity but in reality, much of it is not.  So yesterday, driving back from Gurdon, this person comes flying around me, gets in front of me and I just let that one go.  Then another one, then another one. It was the third one that really cut me off to the point I couldn't even see the highway in front of me. That is a big-time cutoff. 

I didn't honk the horn or do anything, a bit irritated at the ridiculousness of it, what is the point of driving like that and taking those kinds of risks? I think some drivers out there are just plain stupid.  Others are playing on their phones or otherwise distracted, yes, but that doesn't account for people who are fully aware of what they are doing.....and do it anyway.

Well, we get off that highway, onto a short loop and onto 59. I get over in the passing lane immediately, there is a light ahead and the right lane always fills up.  No, the truck wasn't loaded, don't want to mislead on this,  I can get back up to speed quite fast when empty and already moving.  So it was, I got up to the speed limit and then a few, got past an oversized load truck that was going very slow  and then got back over into the right lane. 

I had, in that action, moved past this threesome of cars that also got off on that exit. So what does this threesome do?  The lead car passes, starts to get off in the center lane, then gets back into the left lane, than cuts over in front  of me.  Yup, you guessed it: the other 2 did the same exact thing and yes, the cutoff was severe enough that I got over into the passing lane, got right up beside the 2 trailing cars and hit the train horn switch.  And these horns aren't those fake train horns they sell at auto zones and stuff, these are actual train horns and yes, they are  very loud. I mean, if my passenger side window is open when I hit the switch, the noise is deafening.  

Hands start popping out windows, lmao.  Other drivers are laughing, I'm assuming they had seen what these "drivers" had done and thought the whole thing amusing.  I felt no small sense of "there, gotcha"...until this morning, when I realized that this is extremely childish behavior on my part.  At least, that's what I'm thinking and also the Lord "Uhh, we need to have a discussion" I am sort of feeling in my inner man. Like, why don't you just let it go?  I dunno, sometimes I get angry in traffic. Not road rage or revengeful type of angry, such as wanting to do physical harm, but just mad that people take such ridiculous actions in front of my truck and cause me to have to severally smash the brake pedal in hopes I don't rear end them.  You try to predict this stuff in advance, sort of the 6th sense of things. There are times, however, there isn't any forewarning. A person pops out in front of you that you just didn't expect they would take such a risky move in traffic.

So, maybe I'll go get some more counselling. I did it in my 30's, I think it was, it was very helpful.  This isn't psycho stuff, it's just a person that helps you walk through your thought processes and takes you back as far as it needs to go in your life to help you understand why you do or think some of the things that you do.  Then they make you do exercises in your daily life, such as in traffic, when something happens, you do whatever they suggest. Take a deep breath, do something different.  I might do it, I have lots of things I would like to sort out in my mind that seem to impact my life.  I wouldn't mind a business mentor as well. Don't know where you would find such a person, don't care about their age or gender, if they are a successful business person and know what they're doing? That's what I need.  I make decisions based on my limited knowledge of how business works and some of those decisions are definitive fails.  Really, a college course for business degree would be helpful, I'm thinking I'm getting a little old to go to college.

There are plenty of them around here tho.  An ever expanding Baptist university, they are taking over downtown, so to speak, have acquired several old buildings and ramping up their sports program to become more nationally recognized.  There is another mostly black college that is also a nationally recognized college and there is a TSTC, Texas state college.  I don't think that one would teach what I need and I don't think the black college would necessarily welcome me with open arms, the baptist university, however, that might be interesting.  I would imagine they have such courses?  

Why discuss this? Because it's on my mind.  I just really have no business experience beyond what I have been learning in the last couple of years with this RV park.  I feel like I'm at a huge disadvantage.  I mean, I know about supply-demand and how it works to be competitive with the other parks in the area.  To an extent.  I am limited in my amenities and that is a real disadvantage there.  It would take a truckload of money to install what I would need to bring in local money, an event center, large building with a full kitchen and probably a mini bar (event planners bring their own alcohol and servers of course, I want nothing to do with that, just make it available) to have weddings and giant parties and such.  I have plenty of room at the front of the property for just such a thing.  

I don't have plenty of money to afford that, tho, I just keep wishing I would have been able to start this venture like even 10 years ago, if not longer.  Where would this business venture be right now if I had that much time behind me and ever thinking about expansion, plus doing it when the cost of everything wasn't so high? 10 years ago I could have built 30 spaces for the cost of what these 14 cost me now.  

Anyway, apparently grandma is sick and she isn't coming tomorrow for the kids.  The best laid plans of men....that means we are probably not going to go to 6 Flags. I am considering offering to take them and the 2 adults can still do their thing while I deal with the kids. I don't remember if 6 flags has a ride area for little kids, but I'm sure I can find out by looking it up.  

Yup, if you have read this blog for any length of time, you probably expected me to pause here and look it up. Turns out they have numerous rides for kids that age.  I don't mind taking them there, I don't really feel like getting on all of these crazy rides atm anyway. In fact, I feel like this unexpected "she's not coming" is a lifeline.  I don't have to go. I wanted to go, but i didn't want to go, if that makes any sense.  It won't be cheap, but it's only one day so spending several hundred on a very rare outing isn't really out of the question.  I haven't been on a vacation in a while...I mean, I went to mom's house last year, that was the last time I was on a "vacation" and that wasn't really vacation stuff. It was seeing mom, visiting friends, etc.  

Yes, it's going to cost me going to AZ, or is it? I will be able to get free airfare with my credit card points, I don't have to pay for hotels and the only ride I will need is from the airport to my mom's house. About a $40-$50 uber ride. It's a long way from the airport to where my mother lives, lol, the Phoenix metro area is spread out, what 100 miles from east to west?  Maybe a little less  than that, but it gives you the picture, it's a massive, sprawling affair that I sincerely do not miss. I  do miss the mountains, I don't miss the "Valley of the Sun". 

Ok, it's going to cost me fuel driving that pickup home and I will spend the night in a hotel somewhere, I won't drive 1,300 plus miles straight through.  I'm not going to get a truck, that is an after-effect of going to see mom.  And friends.  One of which I have an open invitation with.  He's still off on a land of - grief, confusion, whatever you want to call it with his wife having passed away.  That was a few years ago, she had cancer that they were going to begin treating with chemo, but then she got Covid. If you remember, people that had cancer and then got Covid were at a high level of risk of death.  Like, extremely much so.  They were married almost 3 decades and were truly in love with each other, he has given up on life to some extent and is drinking heavily on most days.   I get it, I hope he can find a path through all of that.  Like, you don't really care if you live or die, your life as you know it has been stripped of you.  He may still be in depression and obviously alcohol isn't helping with that at all.  But I can't judge him and I won't, it's a hard place he's in right now.  

Anyway, I just texted Taylor with my option of just taking the kids.  We can go separately as we were going to do anyway. They have other things they are going to do over there as a couple, nothing I need to be involved with lol.  It was just a day trip, maybe going on to 2 days.  Monday would be back to work, but that could be worked out with taking them to daycare if they were planning on spilling it over into next week.  I can take them to daycare, pick them up when I get off work which is well before daycare closing time, I have first run Monday so that makes it easier.  I dunno if they'll even want to do this at all, but it's at least an option.  Or, they can just stay home with me and we can go see movies or something while they go off to do what they had been planning to do.

I guess the point is, I'm not let down by this interruption to the plans and I have stuff I could do if we aren't going to go at all.  Like, stay home, do nothing and enjoy a staycation.  Or, if everyone leaves somehow, go find my favorite hotel, they have one in Shreveport and they have one in Tyler and spend a night enjoying nothingness in a place I love to just hang out at.  It's a bit pricey, but again, I don't do that much recreation stuff beyond a few trips to restaurants here and there.  It's because I work so much I just don't want to do anything else but come home, take care of whatever and do nothing.  

I feel like I'm going to have to do this trucking thing until at I at least turn 62, but I also have resolved in my mind that it may have to continue on to Medicare age at 65?  Retire, run the park, yes, but nothing else.  

This workamper has ideas of using the riding mower to chop down everything up front. I had similar ideas until the thing broke down. I have the parts, he was supposed to fix it but he hasn't.  I'll end up doing it at some point sooner or later.  It's just more work that needs to be done.  He was then contemplating doing it with the push mower, I'm not sure how that would even work out, however. Probably ruin the mower, but it would be a good tradeoff to getting that ugliness out of there.  There is real grass growing there now, it just needs all the junk growing up there, weeds, to be hacked down.  

My real concerns right now are, who's leaving and when?  I know the family is leaving, actually they have already left, they just haven't moved their trailer out of there .  They had gone 2 months without paying, they were supposed to leave weeks ago and wanted pro rated balance due.  I was fine with that until we hit and entire month past due and then I started pushing for my money.  I don't know what they are going to do with that trailer, but since they are leaving, I want it out of there so I can find someone else to take that spot and get it off of my mind.  I  assume the farmers are also leaving when the rent is due. I didn't tell them they had to leave, I told them they can't be going around accusing people of shooting them with government issues laser guns.

They completely stopped, of course, I wasn't playing.  I actually used the words cease and desist or get out of my park.  They will move on to another park, I am assuming, and start their laser conspiracy theory with someone else.  So, I have at least 2 spaces that will need filled and another that needs filled but i think I have a renter for that.  He is the brother of a friend that lives maybe 7 houses away.  She runs a restaurant here in town, I won't mention the name of it, but it's a national chain.  He goes to her house all the time for reasons i also won't specify here.  Anyway, he wants to move closer and my park is only 7 minutes away from her house.  Hopefully that pans out.  I just can't rent out the space until after this week, I have both open pull through lots rented for short stays.  

One thing that I am grateful for: I may not have business experience but I have ample experience dealing with renters via my house and renting out rooms.  I've had all kinds in there and this isn't any different when it comes to dealing with people on a face-to-face basis and telling them they can't do this or that. It's in my rules, you can't do this, please stop.  If they get offended and leave, shrugs shoulders. I am running a business and this particular business, people expect the rules to be abided by and if certain people don't, others want me to enforce them.  I neither like nor dislike confrontation, it's just a fact of life and especially in the rental business where people are living. 

What else? I dunno, I still have time before I need to leave here. If I end up getting to the plant to load too early, they'll just make me wait. Might as well wait at home.  

Well, the boy is up.  He's feeling better already and doesn't have a fever.  Apparently that's not the case with grandma.  I take that back, he still doesn't look very good.

And finally? The tractor.  I've all but sold myself on it.  Just finding the time to get there and look at it, discuss finances, sign on the dotted line and get this over with.  It's something I absolutely need and I get tired of renting machines every time I need one.  I could keep the driveway constantly maintained instead of having to wait for rains to pass.  It's in horrible shape, I just am not going to pay for more than one rental a month.  If I'm doing that, I might as well just buy one, right?  Fix up the driveway, get the pads started in the back and at least get them looking like, wow, I have this much done, might as well find the money and do the rest!  

See how that works? You set goals and you take whatever steps you can to fulfil them.  Once you get the ball rolling, well, there may be flat spots where the ball stops, just give it a good kick and get it started again. I just really want to get this done before I get much older.  The old bones tell me about it after a day of working over there doing physical labor.  If I get the tractor, then I'll plan the rest of the park, or at least the next 15 spaces.  I'm not sure how I want to do it, but it seems that I will have to move the doggy park somewhere else.  

It's a lot of measuring I need to do and I'm not fooling with that until I have something in hand that makes me say, well, I have this now I might as well do that.  So, I have a tractor, might as well get this planned out.  However, I don't need to plan anything out to clear that land out again.  I definitely have space for 15 more lots back there, probably more like 25.  Any more lots beyond that? Would have to go up front. Not anything I would imagine doing any time soon. It would take many truckloads of top soil being brought in to help level it out and then have to build retention walls and serious storm drainage. Talk a lot of money just in that stuff alone.  It's just too steep of a grade to consider putting in rv lots.  Now, I could do other stuff like tiny homes and just clear out space as needed, leveling it and putting up small retention walls.

I dunno, that's just not something I have the money for right now and my plan is going towards the rear of the park with more spots.  I have to get the business well established and bringing in minimum amounts of money per year before I can take out a huge loan.  A huge loan would pay for an event center, a pool, more spots, maybe some tiny home spots, etc.  They want 2 years of income that meets their minimum amount to be considered for say, half a million. And a business plan, would need an expert for that.  Property appraisal as well.  

Yeah, this is what I face when I start thinking expansion.  Or, the piece-meal, do it small bits at a time as i can afford it type of deal.  I'm thinking the latter, at least for now and get ramped up for the Interstate construction that will be starting sometime next year and the almost guaranteed business it can bring to my park - if I have the room for more trailers.

That's enough for now. Just being a bit chatty today.  Watching the news as the lunacy of what we call politics in Washington careens on.  Like a bunch of zoo animals running the show, they only know what they want and they don't care what they have to do to get it.  Power/money.  "The love of money is the root of all evil".  Yup.  Especially in Washington in the halls of Congress and the White House. We have a Trump presidency looming, if nothing  changes before November, it isn't likely Biden is going to win (and neither do I want him to).  Trump is controlling the Republican party right now and that isn't going to change until November. If he wins, 4 more years of it, if not, I would think others will have to start rising to the surface.  I don't despise Trump as all of these people calling him a Nazi, white supremecist and all the other nonsense like to call him. I do think he could do a better job with his demeanor, but, that's New York and he certainly fits that descriptor.  I'm positive leftists have more tricks up their sleeves, one wonder what an October surprise might look like.  

G'day