Monday

So I'm sitting here watching TV and get another text (there's been lots of texts today): hey ben, sorry to let you know but your load canceled tomorrow.

A bit of a letdown.  I need to work, I didn't get this job to sit around all the time. Holidays have been fun for the most part, but it's time to get busy.

As for today?  Oh what fun!  I get a text this morning from mr grumpy informing me he's moving out.  I did not respond to him.  This is the 4th time in a month or longer span that he's informed me he's moving out and then goes into the current victimization he's experiencing with whoever at the park.  He's an eternal victim and a half decent manipulator.  Tired of it, I almost texted him back and said goodbye. 

Instead, I just waited. He then went into this lady that is staying at the park and calling her a bi*** and such and that he can't deal with it.  I called him and he went off on her, making all kinds of accusations and saying things I had my doubts about.  In fact, I didn't believe much of what he was telling me based on his demeanor, the way he talks, the vulgarity of his speech, the foulness of his mind, especially when he's been drinking.

So, I got all of that and then texted her.  She called me.  She went into a lengthy list of things he had been saying to her - all of which are easily believable including calling her a fuc**** c*nt (that word I particularly loathe),  following her boyfriend to the store, letting his dog s*** on her lot, cussing her out last night after she said something about them lighting off fireworks IN the doggy park and several other things.  

So, I called him back and confronted him on it, especially the part about calling her a stupid b**** and worse, a fuc**** c*nt.  He admitted he had, 2 sentences later after I started digging into him about it, he said he didn't.  No, you just admitted you called her that, where did you learn that it is acceptable to talk to ladies like that?  I handed him has @$$ on a platter.  I don't need his ilk in the park.  I'm tired of the drama, I'm tired of his mouth, vulgarity, foulness of speech, I'm done with it.  

It's exacerbated with his drinking.  He has been sitting around for quite a while now, laid off, not doing anything so he starts drinking out of boredom.  Then he finds someone to mouth of to. This is why he has a black eye, from the dude that was beating the s*** out of him.

The real, underlying problem is that he has spent time in a federal penitentiary - a thing I didn't find out about until after he moved in - and his mindset is still sitting in the facility.  I've tried to coax him to get that garbage out of his head, I am done trying to be his counselor.  He's paid up through the end of January. 

He then got quiet and then stated he would "keep to himself". Yes, you've TOLD me that SEVERAL times now.  Even if he isn't drunk, he still talks in a way using words that most people don't want to have to listen to on a continual basis.  

I texted her back and told her if he says ANYTHING else to you, let me know.  Like right now let me know.  This guy is the center of problems and I am done with him. 

Last night we stayed up very late, I was up until 2:00 am. Another family came over - 4 of them - and a couple - and we played cards and hung out until midnight, where we set off fireworks and ushered in the New Year.  James and his couple friend stayed up long after the family left and we went to bed.  Like, until 8:00 am this morning he was up, his friends left at 5:00 am lol. 

The oldest boy leaves in the morning with grandma who showed up some 5 hours ago.  The middle one is sick and the youngest is going stir crazy. I took the 2 that aren't sick to the property today to walk off some energy.  Helped a bit I guess.  While we were going the sick one was throwing up but also had a meltdown because he couldn't go with us.  Yeah, sorry, but being sick and it being very cold outside today with a crisp wind giving a pretty good wind chill factor, he needed to stay home.

So what to do tomorrow? I haven't decided yet.  It may be that I will stay home with the kids who are off until next week. They were going to take them to daycare tomorrow since we are all working, but now both James and I have had work canceled.  I am thinking of trying to burn off those weeds tomorrow tho. It's worth a try, just put some gas on some of the weeds to get them going and see what happens.  I'm definitely not going to be paying anyone to do anything right now, I don't have the finances for it.  It's fire, a scythe, or possibly trying to mow it down.  It's what I have available, it's what I can afford - nothing, lol. Nothing more than what I already have anyway.  

If I can't get it done with any of those methods, it just isn't going to happen right now.  Just would love to get them cut down, put down a spartan layer of seed and get something growing in there besides weeds.  And have that grass in there and in place when weed season starts up again.  Just set the spreader at a much lower setting. It's more about the view you see when you come to my park.  You see 2 signs, trees and then a field full of weeds.  Ugly, not a good first impression, I'm tired of it.  

Keto. I've been off 3 days again for the holidays.  Tomorrow I will start back up and then there won't be any excuses to cheat. Christmas is over, New Year's is done, I'm good with going a couple of months without any cheating.  It's not a New Year's resolution, I don't really even do those anymore. I always break them and feel foolish for having had made them.  This is something I've been doing for 3 years now, on and off, I'm ready to get back on it and stay on it for quite a while.  I could see, now that I'm thinking about it, taking my birthday off of it to go get ice cream.  

I guess there's more, but right now I'm a little preoccupied with the situation going on a the park. I didn't sign up to be a counselor, mediator or having to be an adult man's nanny.  Just going to relax, take it easy for the rest of the night and eventually go to sleep.