Sunday - morning

Well, I did sleep in and I did just lay in bed after I woke up.  As I promised myself I would do after 6 straight days of getting up at 5 - 5:00 am. Unfortunately, tomorrow is right back at it all the way up to Thursday, after that? Well I'll probably get dumped with another one.  If that happens, I'm going to be asking for Sunday and Monday off. I need 2 days off at some point to recharge.

As for the box blade with the rippers? There are some pins missing. Junior, as I like to call him, is going to his farm today or he might have gone last night, who knows, to get the pins needed - versus spending money on things that someone already has.  The farm is like 40 miles away.  He likes to visit there, he doesn't want to live there and hence a trailer in my park. 

The lady that was an RV park manager is supposedly moving in - tomorrow I think it was.  Yes, tomorrow.  How is that going to work out? How does anyone work out? You let them in, you see what happens and you deal with any aftermath.  She won't be getting a job from me, that's a fact.  I already have 1-1/2 non-paying lots and it's not going to be anymore than that.  If I were a 100 lot park, I would consider it for the office help. 

So, it came to pass this morning, that trouble was brewing.  It's pretty common in a house with young kids and especially one of them that likes to get into trouble and blame it either on the other one or just say he didn't do it, effectively saying the other one did it. 

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So, I went to the adult meeting.  Not my style.  Old people acting old. Sorry, I know I'm getting old but I just don't go around acting out that way.  Maybe because I'm around kids and a younger generation of adults as well, but there is a reason for that. I've seen it all my life and I just don't agree with it.  If you want to "be" old that's fine and that's your choice. I'd rather live my life to the "gusto" as much as possible whatever age I am.  That's not childish and it's certainly not wrong.  To each his/her own.

I didn't much care for the leadership style either.  They didn't encourage people who weren't speaking and have obviously been going to those meeting for a long time - to speak.  Instead, you have a couple of outspoken individuals speaking their minds and obviously everyone else not enjoying that part of it.  Good leadership can get past that stigma.  Everyone has an opinion, don't just let a few people dominate the conversation.  That's ridiculous and condescending.  

I know, judgmental.  I've been watching these settings all of my life and yes, I have run meetings and I have never allowed one or 2 people to take over. There are many people that don't feel like they should speak up, they need to be encouraged, it needs to be dragged out of them.  You don't just open up the floor, you call people out.  Hey so and so, what do you think?!  I could have opened my mouth and spoken my opinion but I was a "guest" as described by the group leader.  There wasn't any attempt to identify me as a member of the church - I've been going there 3 plus years now.  It was pretty strange stuff. 

They had free breakfast which I assume is the appeal to many who otherwise said nothing. It looked good, it was nice spread. I didn't eat any of it by my own choice, tho I did have coffee.  

So, there are several other groups that occur during the first church service, one of them I can identify with even tho it doesn't bother me, at all.  "Empty Nesters".  I can legitimately say I'm an empty nester since my son is off 1,300 miles from here, tho he's not living on his own, per se, he's living with his mother. And paying all of the bills there. This isn't a college student going to college and moving back in with mom and dad situation.  

I may just give up on this church altogether.  I've never much cared for giant church settings, just hard to leave with the kids loving it.  Most churches do not have the kind of setup they have for kids at this place.  I have no idea, really, what to do.  I just think I could try another group and if they don't like me there, I don't care.  It's church, deal with it.  I imagine an empty nesters group being filled with 40 somethings, but it's also listed as moms and...I don't remember the third one.  I'm trying to make new friends is the real deal and I didn't see anyone even trying to take an interest to actually make the guest feel welcome. 

In fact, I caught some people staring at me with a rather - interesting - gaze. A frown on their mouths.  What? I literally said nothing to offend anyone, in fact, I didn't speak much at all.  Just lay low and check out the scene was my approach. I wasn't invited back, when it was over I just sort of looked around, got up slowly and - left.  This church really isn't my style.  But I may just swallow all of that to keep the kids engaged.  They wouldn't like it near as much anywhere else after being exposed to all of that.  

I'm just saying me "best" church experiences have been in small churches where you can't get away from engaging with people.  It's just the way the setting is and people will get to know you whether you want them to or not.  Ok, not always but most of the time that's true.  The American version of church is nothing like what goes on in other countries where it's "real". We have too much money, too much security in our worldly income, houses, cars, running water, electricity, more than sufficient food supply.  We don't "need" God and you don't really get the kind of experience I have had without going on the mission field.  It changes your life and view of things forever.  

I'm actually going to start looking around at other churches with a bit more flare.  The type that really get into it. I was doing well to just go to church for a long time at this place.  I will be thankful for the non-intrusiveness for that, but it's time to start looking for something more engaging, I do believe - but - have a kid's ministry that is also vibrant and keep the kids engaged.  Not much is going to equal this church's kid experience unfortunately.  I actually think their children's church is far better than the adult version in terms of keeping people engaged. 

Anyway, after 2-1/2 hours at church, it was time to leave. The oldest boy was visibly - something wrong with him.  He didn't say anything, but Applebee's was on their minds.  So, we went to the park, the kid had put the box on the tractor - without the pins, it's not attached without them, there's another linkage that he had hooked up - then off to Applebee's.  We sat on the high seat chairs for a while, the boy was not looking good.  What's wrong with you? I'm not feeling good. Well we can go home?  No! 

But after another 15 minutes he had visibly declined.  He was obviously not feeling well. We moved to a booth to have more comfortable seating but it was time to eat and go home.  He has a low-grade fever, mom told him to get into his pajamas and took him to her bedroom. She isn't feeling well either.   

I'm afraid what the means for me.  It's at least 90% rate that everyone in this house gets sick, I get sick as well.  I can't really afford that right now, I've been busting @$$ got get back up in the money department.  As of right now? I feel fine and going to work in the morning and hoping it stays that way. Because if I get sick, it's likely I will force my way through it while working unless it just gets terrible.  

I am sorry if this sounded like a whining session against churches. I am not against church, I just don't like the facades and sugar-coated stuff that doesn't directly deliver the reality of the Gospel and the Word to you.  We need it all, not just a part of it.  We need lives that are beyond just going to church and sitting around telling people what we think.  I help people frequently. Outside of the church pews and walls, it's a personal thing for me, I feel like God would have us do things to help each other - because He says so.