Thursday

An absolutely beautiful day this morning.
Sky is overcast, temp is nice, looks like it might rain.
Hope it does.
I always get to work early so I can sit and drink a cup of coffee or 3 and peruse the news on the internet before going to work.
Not much in the system in terms of deliveries - which is the first time this week there hasn't been a full day's worth of stuff in there. Just one delivery and that's it.
I am not going to work tomorrow so that I can digest all of the information I have, get it into my head and also write down notes on the volumes of different things I would like to address in court in order to prove my case. There IS a lot.

So, anyway, today is sort of my Friday, cepting' court is usually not a barrel of fun and games.

Amazingly, school is already out for the summer. Seems like it gets out earlier now but definitely starts back up earlier as well. I think last year school got out at the beginning of June, today is what, the 21st of May? Definitely, they ended the school year earlier than last year. I am going to ask Michael to see his final report card. It should quite interesting, to say the least. For as much school as he missed, I have no doubts that he must have failed several or even all classes.

The guy that did the news story - called again. I have not done any parties and really, don't plan to any time soon. I have been giving out food, but I have cut that back as well since my hours have been cut at work. I have not, however, stopped handing out meals. I had 2 people over 2 days ago. I'm just one of those persons that believes in giving back to the Lord - this is the way I'm doing it. The 2 that were over were definitely some hungry individuals. One was in a wheelchair - a paraplegic and the other was his friend. I made them some chicken and a mess of other stuff - they consumed nearly all of it.

In fact, I haven't had anyone over yet that wasn't extremely hungry. Many of these people do not get the opportunity to eat meat - which I have plenty of and which I still wish I had a freezer because there are some awesome deals this week on both chicken and ground beef. If my situation weren't so limited, I would definitely buy a freezer and fill that thing up. As it stands, keeping power on the power reader and paying the bills are the priority of the day.

Well, anyway, I need to get started at work here - hope you all have a great day!
ben

Wednesday

Sometimes, my writings in this journal are nothing more than a vent - an exhaust system if you will - get the stuff out of my system so it doesn't build up too much.

For example, coming home from work today and finding the AC set at a temp has it at 70 degrees in here. Actually, the thermometer I have in the living room read 68 degrees. I am cooling - dogs - for - what purpose?

Michael informed me that one of the tenants comes out here after I leave and changes the setting on the thermostat.

Nice. Just sent a rather long email to both tenants explaining my situation. It matters not of a situation, there is absolutely NO good reason to set the AC that low during the heat of the day - WHEN NO-ONE IS HERE.

The gate - has been left unlocked several times recently this week and last. Michael does not have a key to the gate, therefore, the kid can't be blamed. Caleb isn't here during the week, can't blame him, either. AC - I know who is doing it. I simply reiterated my "threat" to put a locking cover over it.

Anyway, it just gets old having to deal with the same issues, over and over and over.

So, I was just sitting here reading a notice from the court about the hearing concerning the order of Protection. Mary had to write up her reason why the order should be dismissed.

She said in it that I just wanted to get her out the "easy" way and didn't want to have to go through the "regular" court process to evict her. Of course, I have the full-fledged paperwork where I DID go through the process with her ALREADY. That story isn't going to fly. She makes up a bunch of stuff that - I will be able to dismiss in court without a problem. I have all kinds of paperwork, yes, but I just remembered I wanted to get that police report.

So, I am going to call over there, like right now, even before finishing this, so I can get the report number - that department closes in 25 minutes.

No report. Just an incident number. The lady stated that if the judge wants more info, he can call the police and find out the officer's name and contact that officer.

Somehow, I doubt that will happen. I wanted a report showing the Mary had stated to the officers that I had shoved her, since I have the entire incident on CD-ROM, ready for the judge to review if necessary.

Cancel that - Mary wrote in her reply to the court that I had shoved her. I now have HER own written statement that I shoved her. NOW I have something to destroy any credibility she might have had with the court.

Well, a couple of hours have passed since starting this entry. Lots going on around here, including Karen showing up to discuss this matter. No coaching, Karen has "solid" views about Mary with her own, personal experience with her.

Now about today. Yesterday, the semi started pouring fuel out of the bypass/overflow tube. I was at a vendor's yard when it started that. It continued on at the main branch and then, of course, back at the yard.

This morning, I turned the semi on long before I had to leave - I wanted it to warm up and see if it was going to continue. I took the caps off the fuel tanks. Got up to running temperature - after a LONG time of idling. Then, I screwed the caps back on. A while later - fuel coming out of the bypass. No way I am driving a truck down the road, leaking fuel.

It started series of phone calls to find a rental truck to replace the semi because we had several deliveries going out today. Long story short: I ended up going to a Penske yard and driving off in a 2 axle tractor with an AUTOMATIC transmission. LOL. I do not do semi tractors with auto's in them. I am all about sticks. Autos are goofy at best, the upshift and downshift at mostly unwanted intervals. I plain don't like them.

My foot was automatically going for a clutch pedal that wasn't there. I float the gears, yes, but you have to use the clutch to get moving from a complete stop. And note that I said a complete stop. I could be going 2 miles an hour and be able to get the truck into gear without use of a clutch and without grinding gears.

"Floating" simply means the truck is moving, I don't care what speed - and you have to shift gears. The clutch is not used in such a maneuever. It's a learned "art" and many or most truck drivers learn it, certainly a vast majority of local drivers that are in city traffic all day long. I would go into it, but I am tired - it simply means the engine rpm's and the transmission are at the same "speed" - a thing a truck driver learns by looking at the tachometer - and eventually learns by sound - you shift gears without pushing in the clutch. You push the shifter into neutral and then into the gear you are going into.

Umm, anyway, I'm done for the night. I have found most of the paperwork for court on Friday, there are some things I need to print out from my work email tomorrow that Mary sent me at work.

And with that, -------- ............ G'nite!
ben

Wednesday

Just a short update.
The ex-tenant finally wrote back - I thought she just didn't want to go to court and I wasn't going to get pushy about it, she don't wanna go, she don't wanna go.
Nothing of the sort, apparently.
She wrote back and said date/time/place.
She called me later and even offered to drive me over there!
This will be very good to have at least one person backing up my statements, as I don't wonder if Mary will show up with a gang as well.
I have other, documented evidence I will be prepared with as well.

Regardless, yesterday was 9 hours of straight driving, delivering, this that and the other thing, topped by a leaking fuel tank.
The overflow on one of the semi's tanks began dumping fuel yesterday after I filled the thing up. The tank was hot and there was a lot of pressure inside of the tank itself. I ended up having drain out a lot of fuel letting out the pressure (you know, just before the thing blows up?) and then even went as far as pumping some fuel out. I was downtown when I did that, when I got back to the yard here, same thing all over

It has had all night to cool down I'm hoping whatever happened it was just from filling it up and heat related.

Meanwhile, the sky is dark/overcast - a very welcomed sight. A nice rain would be awesome - though it might not help in making any deliveries today.

Ummm - that's enough for now.
Hope you all have a great day.
ben

Monday

So, the sargeant called me back today. He listened to my rather detailed voice mail I left him, he was not sympathetic to the officer's statements towards me. I told this sargeant that the cop had told me Mary could return as many times as she wanted, totally contradictory to the paperwork. That the cop told me I couldn't pack her stuff in the kitchen up in boxes. That the cop said I couldn't enter her room.

The sargeant said he would deal with the officer, that if there are any disputes, it's totally a civil matter and would have to be handled in the courts. THAT'S what I wanted to hear. If I win against Mary in court this Friday, I will let her come over at the scheduled time, anyway, just so I can get her stuff out of here. But the notion that I can't do this that and the other thing is totally bogus, I knew it was when the cop was speaking it to me, nothing has changed my view of that now, and even more strengthed by this cop's superior telling me that I was right, he was wrong.

Nice. Went to get 6 44-pound bags of Iam's for $20.99 at a grand opening, as the lady had told me I could. I get there - sorry, we can only sell one bag at that price. Not exactly happy about a person from a store telling me one thing, and then driving all the way over there and finding out something else. I just bit my tongue, bought the bag of food and left.

I'm still tired. I slept okay last night, but there's just too much on my plate right now. I'm moving and grooving, no doubt, but today? It's HOT outside and I am waiting until a little later to try and get anything done - such as watering.

The remaining female tenant is concerned that if Mary has been smoking meth in the bedroom she is now in, what kind of toxicity remains in the room? Well, I read the article she sent me about meth smoke - it appears that it dissipates over time. It's been almost, what, 4 months since Mary occupied that bedroom?

That's it. I just don't have it in me to go on any further - I am going to go take a nap.
ben

Even More

So, Mary shows up with the police, I'm not even here. I get the call - ladeedahdeedah - okay, I'll be home in 10 minutes.
Mary is standing out in the street - with a very foul look on her face.
Expected.
Police are congenial enough - sometimes expected, sometimes not.
They don't know landlord-tenant law, at least not these 2 individuals.
I did not try to educate them, they were saying things to me that I KNOW are not true.
They also said Mary can come back as many times as she wants to get her stuff.
Wrong.
In big, bold letters on the Order, verbatim:
LAW ENFORCEMENT STANDBY. Defendant may return once with law enforcement officer to obtain necessary personal belongings. Neither law enforcement nor this protective order can resolve conflicts over property, title, furniture, finances, real estate, or other ownership issues.

Pretty clear to me. My point: I don't want her thinking she can just show up and come and go as she pleases with police. She has had her one time, but the officers mandated that I agree to her returning again, next weekend. Just another issue to be brought up in court - but only if I win. If I lose, she can come back and occupy the room, legally. Which would be a horrific thought at this point.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to keep her stuff from her, it's just that Mary has made a lifestyle out of doing things her way, always, all the time. Truth, morals, law be damned, she can have her way and if she doesn't get it, she blathers on and on and on. Mary owes me $200 rent right now - if this situation gets any uglier, I am going to take her to court for it. But, if I can ever find 99% pure rubbing alcohol somewhere, I am going to do the drug tests off the walls in her room, have the test done and see what the results are. I'm fairly sure she was doing it in her bedroom, I'm absolutely sure she was doing it in the bathroom. The bathroom would be a hard point to prove - everyone else uses it, anyone could have done it. Point - force her to pay for the removal of that contaminent off the walls - and I have absolutely NO problem taking her to court on that point.

Anyway, she was here 45 minutes or so. They had 2 police here, but one left shortly after arrival, it was obvious I wasn't going to start trouble - and Mary's a lady that the male officer could easily take down on his own if she started stuff, so - only 1 was necessary.

It's unfortunate but true - I need 3 tenants right now, absolutely MUST have 3 paying tenants. I can't read minds, I can get gut instincts and such - it's never easy to tell about a person until they're actually in here. I can do background checks - again - there is no absolute for determining what a person is REALLY like until they're flesh and blood in your house, living there. I have to be tolerant of some things, most things really, but definitely not when it comes to drug use.

So, I wrote a room rental ad up the other day - but - those are usually not very productive because I have it listed for move-in date of June 1st. Since Mary is obviously moving out of here regardless of who wins in court on Friday, I am going to plan on a move-in date of 2 Wednesdays from now. See what kind of replies I might get with that. That's 3 days to do whatever necessary in that room to get it ready for a potential roommate, if I can find one for such a time-frame.

I find this kind of stuff to be very draining, to be honest. It's a pretty simple thing for a person that is moving out on good terms, but this is - the third time actually - that someone has been moved out of here on police terms.

1st was the tenant-from-hades. Long, long story. 2cd was the tenant that Mary initiated the fight with - Mary got the right wording on her Order of Protection, the other tenant did not, Mary won. And now Mary. I have many more move out without any problems excepting maybe George - the slob who I gave a notice to that he could either start cleaning his own dishes; or; I would clean them for him and charge him for maid service; or; he could leave. He chose to leave. It wasn't really that bad of a deal - but my room rental ads specifically, clearly state that I do not want slobs moving in here.

Onto another age-old issue. Michael's mother lost her job - though not due to absences and such. Another victim of the economy, she was laid-off from work. Their predicament, I am assuming, is better than it used to be: their housing is now paid for by the Federal Government. They don't, therefore, stand to end up on the streets. However, electricity and water are not free. They get food stamps, but by this time of the month, I assume them to be gone - that from ample, prior, personal experience with these people.

I do NOT find anything entertaining about this woman losing her job, despite the unbelievable, horrid history with them. In fact, much to the opposite, I fear the same things that used to happen in the past. I'll have to keep my eye on Michael - I do not want him taking stuff out of here to give to them. That doesn't sound right for a Christian - the Lord commands that if any man asks of you, give to them freely. He also declares that we are to feed the hungry. So, if I were asked, I would not turn them down. I am sure that doesn't set well with particular people on here, but I take the Word of God very seriously in my own personal life, and I will follow after what I believe are the Lord's teachings and commandments over what mankind might have in forms of opinions about any given matter.

Remember, forgiveness is one of the great keys to eternal life. Christ forgives us, we forgive "those that have transgressed against us". In my case, even Mary. Though that really isn't that difficult for me, Mary has a serious addiction problem and if she ever got off of it, her eyes would be opened. Meth addicts in particular are known for living a life of lies and denial. No, if I had a problem in the forgiveness department, it isn't even Michael's family. My real issues, that I struggle with, is the church that shunned me. New reader? WAY too long a story to go into here. Trust me, to be shunned by a church, when you are a Christian trying to follow hard after Christ, is probably the most devastating thing that can happen to you in your life, ESPECIALLY with a whole congregation of people that you have known for a decade.

I have absolutely no desire to go into any of that here and now. As for Mary, she is a very troubled person - and most of that trouble undoubtedly stems back to her husband killing himself. I have learned - not in school but out of much personal experience - that there are always roots to people's problems. Many times a traumatic event, or a series of events that lead up to a person having serious trouble in dealing with life. I can't even imagine what it must have felt like for Mary to discover her husband was dead, and not only was he dead, he killed himself. The questioning of oneself - why did he do it? Was I THAT bad? that kind of thing could go on forever if you let it.

Ummm, I just remembered that I have a half ham in there that has a sell-by date of today. I must get that thing cooked, so, I must get off of here and get it into the oven. I refuse to lose good food to expiration dates. Anyway, I made my trip to Home Depot and got the new double-key entry. There was a woman there that was having a bad day. I don't know what happened to her, but - she was sitting on one of the self checkout counters, her foot covered with a cloth, blood spilling onto the floor. I am assuming that with all the employees standing around, they were waiting for paramedics/fire to show up and treat her wound. With THAT much blood, I would expect stitches. She was an older woman, too, I hate seeing people going through stuff like that.

That's it for me, for now anyway. I have been writing alot lately, mostly a release for me but I do appreciate the comments.

ben

So Here We Go

I called the police this morning, I decided that the only good route for this was to have certified of Mary's non-compliance with the order.
The officer said that the department that does that over the phone was closed today, that I could either have an officer come out right now, or wait until the morning and call it in.
It sounded like in this case, since she didn't make any real threat, it would be documented and sent to the court. Okay, well, I thought, I'll just wait until tomorrow morning.

I NO MORE than hung up the phone than it rang again: Mary. I immediately informed her that she was violating the Order and that I could have her arrested just for calling me. I started telling her that she should have had a friend call and that I would let the friend come over and that person could get her clothes - but she hung up on me.

I am not going anywhere today. Well, at least not for long. I already went and had my propane tank filled - I want to do as much cooking outside as possible to keep the heat levels down in the house, and I like grilled foods better, anyway. I have to go buy a double-deadbolt for the rear door. Anyone can just reach in through the doggy door right now and open up the door with no problem. With the threat of Mary - I cannot leave that that way for the coming week. I think Mary did hear the part about me telling her she should call the police if SHE wants to come over here, just as the police informed her, I heard them telling her that.

My documentation for past events has been located and I will spend portions of today going through that stuff to get out the pertinent documents. I have not heard back from Karen - perhaps asking too much for her to go to court? Dunno. Sometimes, though, she doesn't read email for days at a time.

I have accomplished nothing more than getting some groceries and getting the propane tank filled today - but there's still time to get other stuff done. Just that my mind was filled with this issue of whether to report Mary or not - definitely and obviously made up my mind to go ahead and do that.

As for all of you- hope you have a great and peaceful Sunday.
ben

Jail?

I went to see Star Trek again with Ken.
So, anyway, I shut my cellphone ringer off, of course, for the show. Nothing worse than people's cellphones ringing in theatres - well, there is something worse - people taking the call and actually talking.

Star Trek is a great show, I highly recommend it even to non-Trekkies - it's a much different format and - well it was cool. Won't be going to the theatres again for quite a while, sort of my summer vacation. Really - it is.

Anyway, I get out of the theatres, go to Fry's and buy some dog food.

Get home, look at my phone. There is a missed call on it.
I call the number back on my home phone, it's Mary. She didn't answer.
MARY CALLED ME - WITH AN ORDER OF PROTECTION?!!!
Worse, she left a message! She informed me in this message that she doesn't have any clothes for work and "you need to call me back".

The Order I have against her includes NO - CONTACT - not by phone, email, nothing. I could call the police, right now, show them the number and let them hear the message, and then have her arrested. She would sit in jail until Monday when a judge would probably release her - whether with bail or own recognizance, I dunno.

Mary's tones towards me is what causes me to want to just be totally brazen towards her. She didn't even ask nicely, it was like mommy talking to her offspring.

I'm tempted, I'll tell you that. A person that is willing to break an order of protection - just defy the judge and the court - is a person that has several screws loose, at best. It states CLEARLY on the order NO CONTACT. I'm actually shocked that she crossed that bridge, really, I am.

I'm really not sure if I want her to spend the weekend in jail or not. As I said, it was the WAY she said it - a directive, I MUST get her clothes, I NEED to call her back. If it were me, I would have had a friend call - a friend that can be nice regardless, and have that friend go over and get the clothes for me. That's what I would have done.

What say ye?
ben

Saturday

I went to bed early last night and just got up 30 minutes ago. That's about 10 hours of sleep. I needed it badly after the ordeal Thursday night/early Friday morning. I'm just about to head outside and get some watering done - the temps are heating up considerable and more watering will need to be done.

However, even with me doing more watering, the amount of water being used on a monthly basis will undoubtedly go way down without Mary here. She would sit out there and let the hose run for literally hours. I am pretty good at keeping plants alive and healthy - they don't need NEAR as much water as she was dumping on them. I had another $83 water bill come in yesterday - well higher and normal.

So, I just wrote a note to Karen - the lady that moved in here temporarily while she could find herself a house to live in - and asked her to show up to court as a witness against Mary. Mary had admitted to Karen about her meth use and also Mary started QUITE a lot of trouble with Karen. I'm guessing Karen will jump at the chance to show up in court and let it all out before the judge. I NEED a witness, there's no doubting about that. I would ask Justine - but she didn't leave on great terms, either. Mary had her put out with a restraining order as well. Although, I can say that it's human nature to want revenge, it wouldn't surprise me if Justine would show up as well just to cause any kind of trouble she can against Mary.

But I think I'll just wait and see if Karen will go. Karen is older and can show more calm, wisdom and respect than Justine, who is like 21 years old, I think.

Anyway, we're going to see Star Trek again this morning. Ken wanted to go twice - I paid last time, he's paying this time. Caleb wants to go as well. It is a great movie and one that I don't mind seeing twice - a thing a rarely ever do.

I have projects to do around here as well, though I also have to go through a pile of paper and pull out pertinent paperwork for court on Friday - something I am not going to just let go into this coming week. Bring all that paperwork in here, mull through it and find everything.

That's it for now - I'm still trying to wake up and I'm going outside to get the watring done before it gets too hot out there.
Have a great day!
ben

Friday

I'm totally exhausted. I struggled all day long trying to stay awake, alert and do my job. I simply did not sleep after the ordeal with the police last night - I might have gotten 3 and a half hours of sleep total. Now that I'm home, I have no pressures, can sit here and write this or just go take a nap, plus the weekend is here.

To be honest, I did not want to have to have Mary served with that order last night. I only got it as protection in case she held true to her word and was going to see the judge, in her words. This meant only one thing to me: she was going to get an Order of Protection, and the ONLY way to defend yourself against that in this kind of situation is to get one first. That way, if she calls the police, whips out the Order, I whip out my Order as well and then the police can figure it out from there. To think about being removed from my own home based on the lies of a meth-addicted person was more than I could bear.

Last night, her mouthing off to me was absolutely the end of it for me. SHE left the stove on, that's why I did what I did - put the pot away and put her macaroni away. She was just itching for any excuse to scream and get irate. I have NO clue what kind of complaint she was going to make to the police, but since I stood there and listened to her telling the police that I shoved her - it would have undoubtedly been a complete, fabricated lie. The police gave absolutely NO merit to her claim that I shoved her and did not want to see the video surveillance.

One of my next steps is to get a copy of the police report - I am hoping they put in there that she claimed that I shoved her. That way, I can present that to the court and also a copy of the video surveillance, which shows the entire thing, all of it. I'm going to burn a DVD with that video on it.

There will be a few things that will change with Mary's absence. First, the unbelievable amounts of laundry will disappear. There will still be plenty of laundry going on here, but I bet the amount of loads being done is cut at least in half.

There won't a particular person staying up all night long, keeping other people awake at times.

She won't be in the bathroom for up to an hour at at time, keeping everyone else that wants to use it out. There will be plenty of positives - but a few negatives as well. She won't be doing projects around here anymore. I will have to water the plants out front as well. I will have to finish a project that she just started - which isn't a big deal excepting it's getting pretty warm around here.

I am also definitely going to have to find a replacement renter. I can't even think about re-renting that room until court next Friday. I also don't know if the other renter is still going to leave or not. She hasn't stated this yet, though I have asked her in emails. Losing any renters right now - not a good thing. That particular thought was flooding my mind last night as the police were escorting Mary out of my house - but there are certain lines that I just won't have crossed. Having kids/dogs/tenants/me exposed to meth fumes being distributed all throughout the house via the AC system is definitely one of them.

Anyway, as I said at the beginning of this, I am totally wiped out.

I don't want to write anymore, so I won't.

C'yall later.
ben

It Is Done

So, I'm sitting here at Midnight Thirty - wide awake.
The reason?
Mary put a pan on the stove with water in it - and then left the house.

I was sound asleep.

The smoke alarms went off. I say alarms because they are all wired together - when one goes off, they ALL go off. My bedroom, the other 2 tenant's bedrooms, my son's bedroom, the living room.

I come out here. How do you turn on a stovetop and leave the house? Are these the actions of a normal person?

Regardless, I took the pan, dumped the water out into the sink, poured cold water into the pan to cool it down. Put the pan away, put her box of macaroni back into her portion of the reach-in pantry.

Mary then comes in with Ken, the other roommate.

She raises her voice at me - then starts screaming. I told her if she didn't calm down, I was going to call the police. She yelled at me to "go ahead, call the police, call them, call them..........on and on". I looked at her. I will not tolerate tenants screaming at me in my own home, especially when I have an Order against them.

I call the police - turns out SHE --- ALREADY called the police against ME. I inform them I have an Order of Protection.

Police show up, the rest is history.

Mary is gone. If I weren't so sleepy, I would have recorded her "outrage". She did not get over the 'final' shock, she went on and on. It's a given she is going to go to court to try and have this thing removed. It's a given that I will be contacting my former tenant to please come and be a witness in court against her. I will have the police report from when Mary started the fight with Justine.

Mary stood there and told the police that I shoved her. Ummmm - okay, thank God for video surveillance. I will be burning a CD that will show her putting the pan on the stove, turning it on, leaving the house. It will go forward for however long it takes to show that she left the house. It will show me coming out.

I'm very tired, very sleepy. I wanted to write this to keep the story clear in my mind, though I have it on video, that's more clarity than anyone can come up with.

I'm quite sure this is only the beginning. The cops took her keys away from her and advised me to call them if she shows up again. She cannot get a court date for a minimum of 5 days. There may be other consequences to this - that I have thought about - but since she called the police on me, this was going to be a done deal anyway. I may be dealing with this in a multitudinal of ways.

Regardless, I am going to bed.
ben

Thursday/Venom

Umm, well at least the work day went by quickly. I was driving all day long - yesterday too, in fact, since I forgot to mention that on here.

I actually blotted out the thought of Mary and all that could potentially happen here - I'm not sure how I managed that, but I did.

However, after I got off work, I headed straight to the Maricopa County Superior Court. Mary informed me when she got that Order against Justine (a former tenant) that the Superior Court Order over-rides an Order from a Justice Court (allegedly the Judge told her that), I didn't even know you could GET an order of protection in Superior Court. I thought they handed all of that stuff down to the Municipal and Justice Courts.

Well, sure enough. It was much easier, too. You don't have to fill in everything by pen, they have you sit at a computer and fill in all the fields and the reason why the judge should grant your request. Hey, I can fill out those forms in a flash, I was in and out of there in less than 10 minutes.

To the counter, I offered the paperwork. OF course, that took longer than my writing up numerous pages worth of information. Then, up to the courtroom. I waited out in front of the courtroom - as instructed - for about 10 minutes. A lady came out, took my paperwork and told me to go inside.

I waited there for maybe 10 minutes, probably less. The Judge came out, called my name first! Wow, finally a day at court that isn't a long, drawn-out ordeal! He read my statement, said he was issuing me the order, walaah. I was quite amazed that he didn't even ask me ANY questions, he just read my statements at face-value and that was that. He understood that the order would have her put out of my home. I didn't tell him I wasn't going to have it served unless it becomes imminent. The woman needs to keep her mouth shut, find a new place to live and get out of here.

It is done. I did this because Mary informed me a long time ago about an Order she got against a boyfriend. It was the boyfriend's house - she had him removed out of his own home! NO WAY was I even ABOUT to let that up to chance. I spent less than an hour getting that order - time well spent and it is free. Having it served is free, too, just have the cops come out, they will inform her that she has to leave, buh-bye.

I would have absolutely no peace right now if I didn't have that paperwork safely stashed away in my bedroom.

Anyway. Granted that Mary is no longer going to water the plants out front, I will be taking over those duties. I was at a place that sells all kinds of piping for watering today - the price of 100 feet of that drip system pipe is $6.50. The "good" - whatever the name of the thing that lets out the water - is 49 cents each. I could install the system for around $40 to cover the front and most of the side of the house. Taking on watering ALL of the plants is a considerable thought - summer is basically here and they need watered every 2 to 3 days. Actually, some of it needs watered daily - 2 days max.

Did I say Roscoe is here? He's the German Shepherd - mix - I have watched over here too many times to remember now. He's here until Monday, and yes, his owner paid in advance. He always does : )

Umm, well, it's been 3 days since last watering, so I must go outside and start on that. A good hour should knock it out. Mary did not say anything nasty to me when they were walking out, and I did not and will not inform her of the paperwork I have acquired unless the situation digresses. Wait and see.

ben

I did this as a preventative measure, not as something I am going to have done right now. She did tell me to F off last night, wrote me some extremely venomous emails this morning, and proclaimed a lot of things that she is going to do. Her attitude is s*** at best.

More

2 Benedryls was WAY too much. Yes, the dosage says 1 to 2 tablets for adults - I was having some issues this afternoon after taking 2 of them. Like - feeling very funny. There are numerous drugs that do this to me that do not have the same effect on most other people. I take drugs sometimes because I have to - but the side effects can be very disturbing.

For example, I do not get flu shots. I can't. Last time I took one, I got up from the table - they were giving them in a resort golf club in their giant conference room - walked out into the hallway and fell down on the floor. I dragged myself to a couch in the lobby and laid there for quite a while. A person eventually approached me - I was totally out of it. They ran for a nurse, who came barging out the doors and started doing all the "stuff".

The nurse concluded I have a fear of needles. No, Mrs. Nurse, I do NOT have a fear of needles. Needles have never bothered me. I informed her that I could feel whatever it was going through my system. Literally, I could feel it.
After a certain point, I got dizzy and nearly passed out. Well then you are allergic to eggs. No, Mrs Nurse, I am not, I eat eggs frequently without any ill effect.

I imagine her extreme reaction was one of fear: this guy's going to sue. I was NOT going to sue anyone, I just wanted to feel better. For THREE MONTHS after that injection, I was not right. I had no energy and I felt terrible every single day. I spent all day and night in bed at home excepting for dragging myself to work. Lesson learned: BenB is NOT to take flu shots.

Same with pennicillin. I had an extremely allergic reaction to that when I was 10 years old. I could go on, but you get the pic. For whatever reason, my body doesn't like most drugs and I therefore do not subject it to much of it. The only thing I can say about the Benedryl is, regardless of the extremely bad side effects, it IS having an effect on the huge swelling on my right forearm.

As for the tenancy issue going on in here with drug users = interruption. Mary just walked through here, told me to f*** off and said she already found a new place to live. Great, I responded, buh-bye. Mary's issues are going to follow her everywhere she goes. She said: "There's your smell", pointing at my plate with brats on it. She is going to have a comment every time she passes through here, I'm guessing, so I am going to carry my camera with me and run the video segment so that she can both be seen and heard for her comments if they go too far or if she starts making threats.

Okay, well I just also got done reading her emails to my work account. She is stating she is going to see a judge. I will have to go to court tomorrow after work and get a restraining order against her, because I have no doubts that if she is going to see a judge, that is exactly what she is going to do against me. Fun - fun. She is NOT going to have me put out of my own home by use of a restraining order like she did Justine - the ex-tenant that Mary was fighting with. Mary told me some time ago she had her own boyfriend put out of HIS house with one of those orders. I take a threat like that seriously - enough to go to the courthouse and get this done before she can play her games on me. Where would I go? How would my dogs be taken care of? No, that ain't gonna happen.

As for now, I am still feeling the effects of that stuff and I need to head to the bedroom.
ben

Wednesday

I just took 2 Benedryls and am feeling very sleepy, figured I would write an entry before I go pass out.
I was bitten by something 2 nights ago - my right forearm is swollen so large, it looks something like Popeye's forearms in the cartoon. I wasn't feeling good, either, though I made it through "all" 7 hours of the work day, minus 4 minutes - took off from work and then bought the benedryl.

The boss was asking if I would be in tomorrow - darn straight I'll be in - there isn't a lot that's going to keep me from going to work right now. I don't want to give any thing in terms of reason to be the next to be let go.

Undoubtedly, by now, Mary has fired back at least 1 email in reply to my statements to her about why I want her out. Her wires have crossed, she has short-circuited and she is plenty upset about all of this.

But - the facts cannot be dismissed.

Wow- I just had a wave overtake me, I'll try to get back on here later, I'm going to go crash.
ben

Enough

I just wrote up my first 30-day notice.
I can't take one individual driving out mostly good tenants anymore.
The tenant that is leaving is a good tenant, I would FAR rather her stay than Mary.
This tenant has good points.
Mary frequently stays up ALL night long and then goes to work the next morning. I see her coming home - like nothing at all.
I go through sleeplessness here and there - it isn't fun the next day at work, and when I come home, I go and pass out on the couch or in my bedroom.
Mary goes through mood swings. Uncommon, perhaps not. But - start adding things up.
Prior tenants and others in the neighborhood saying the same things.
I admit that some of my reason for keeping people here beyond desired lengths is for the rent money.
Again, I have already placed and ad for another tenant. Whether for Mary or for the newer tenant - or for both - well, whatever happens happens. Tenants are keeping me at least somewhat afloat right now.

I fully expect Mary to attempt to refute the notion that she is a drug user. I fully expect to refute her. If she wants to prove it, then let her take a drug test immediately - no time to use all those things you can supposedly use to clean up your urine - at her expense. If I'm wrong, I'll pay her back, if she's wrong, I expect not to even see the results - what would be the point.

I don't have to and didn't give a reason for the termination of rental agreement in a 30 day notice. I've just had enough of this. Even in light of my economic disaster, I just can't go on with her disrupting people's lives that come to live here.

So it is, and so beit.
ben

Tuesday

Sooooooo, never a day in paradise around here. Well, I have good days, no doubting that, but with tenants?..........never know what's coming next.

The latest round: The newer tenant believes that Mary is smoking meth in her bedroom. She says that Mary is up all hours of the night and then goes to work all day long, and then home, up all hours of the night. Further, that her dog starts, well, this is an excerpt: "my dog waking me in the middle of the night crying to get out of the room, literally trying to go out the window from what ever is coming in here is really becoming untenable. I then must proceed to close the vent, block it with towels AND a container, crack my window and aim the fan for exhaust rather than cooling purposes."

First off, I put nothing past Mary. Nothing.

Second, this tenant has complained about this before, I have asked her several times to come wake me up whenever it happens so I can go bang on Mary's door and confront her. I know Mary well enough that if I were to confront her on this, she would deny it and that would be the end of that. I could request that she takes a drug test - like within the hour that I ask her to take it - but I cannot force her to do that, either. I could also do a test off the walls in her room - but I have to legally gain access to her room to do so.

So, unless the newer tenant comes wakes me up when the alleged activity is occuring, there is absolutely nothing that I can do about it. She gave me her notice via email today, I have already placed an ad on Craigslist for another tenant.

I responded to her email that I would appreciate it if, regardless if she's leaving or not, that she comes wake me up when this s*** is going on, if it is indeed going on, so I can get it OUT of here. I will not tolerate Mary doing drugs in my house - but you have to be able to certify that it's actually going on.

Look, I went through all kinds of crap with Mary before - but that was about the rent. She has paid her rent, on time - every time - since the court hearing. Now, if she really IS doing drugs in here, rent takes a nosedive on the priority list.

Anyway.........if the newer tenant doesn't write me back, I will definitely address her when she comes home today. I have to get this issue settled , that's all I'm saying.

I have plenty more to say - but this little deal here has me going.
C'ya later.
ben

Monday

Although it's warmed up considerably (and the forecasters are saying it's 8 to 10 degrees above the normal highs for this time of the year), I am not really feeling it yet. The excessive heat - usually anything above 105 - is when I start feeling it and needing some time to readjust. Get to 110 and all bets are off. Every year, the news stations warn newcomers about the excessive heat and what you need to do to protect yourself - and every year, people ignore those warnings and they end up in the hospital. Usually at least a couple of deaths as well. And then there's the idiots who leave their dogs and even their babies in their cars while they're in a store - or last year in a bar drinking.

Those people go to jail. I have never seen a baby left in a car in that kind of heat, but I did happen upon a dog that was left in a vehicle with the windows up last year and was going to do something about it when the owners showed up. I gave those people a HUGE ration of s***, and told them they're lucky they showed up, as I was going to call the police. I also happened upon a dog left in a car that others had already found and were doing something about it. What were they doing? They smashed out one of the windows to let the animal out of the 130 plus degree heat that had built up inside of that car.

I think I would dial 911 first and "get permission" to do that first if it were an animal, if it were a baby, hesitation wouldn't be a factor - one of that's vehicles window would be getting broken out and whoever's baby that is would definitely be getting hauled off in a police cruiser.

Regardless, it's just a thing that happens here. Recently, the news reported that people were hiking up in the local mountains - without water! Several people had to be rescued because of it. Again, the warnings are everywhere, you simply can't go out into the desert without water, well you shouldn't, anyway. When I was a kid, I thought I was invincible and would go for long hikes without any water. I would sit in a car in 115 degree heat - and see how long I could stand it before having to get out of it.

Anyway, there was an encouraging bit of news at work today (versus the news that yet another co-worker had been laid-off). My boss was going through the computer system and was looking at orders. These are orders that are there, eventually will be going out, just no solid idea of when. This month, next month, who knows. In recent times, those orders have totalled a very low number, but today, it was showing over a million dollar's worth. That's a GOOD number for our store.

That doesn't mean job security for me, it doesn't mean that for anyone, but it gives me a ray of hope. One thing I cling to in life: hope. Without it, I get depressed. I don't get depressed very often because I tend to remain optimistic about things that are concerning my own financial health, even when the scenario is very dismal. I remain optimistic because I am a believer, and I have always believed that God would take care of me, and frankly, I can't say that I could point a finger at any time of my life and say: Where was God? I can point at numerous points in life where I was broke, didn't have much of anything, but - I always had something to eat, I always had some kind of roof over my head, I was always clothed.

When I'm in the position I am in now, the "finer" things in life have no relevance for me. I've been here too many times, have had to tough it out, I know what it feels like. I have a roof over my head for today, anyway, there is electricity, the house is cool enough, I have plenty of food, the dogs have plenty of food, I have clothing, a job and transportation.

I may or may not be taking in enough to cover everything, I really will only know that when I get my first paycheck at 7 hours a day instead of 8. I have the option of another 401k loan coming up very soon, I owe just a little over $100 on the one I have now. My 401k has almost totally recovered from the enormous leap off the edge of the cliff, which I find very surprising. Then again, I only had 7k in there, so - not a lot of money. I put the whole thing in a "stable value fund" and have determined to leave it there until this crisis is over.

So, what do I say when things look dismal, sour and dark? God is good. He always has been, He always will be. I trust in Him, and that's really all I need. My peace comes from Him as well. I still have emotional reaction to things - people getting laid off and losing money is certainly not the greatest of events to take place, but it isn't the end of the world, either.

As for here - Mary took out a 401k loan last week and is trying to buy a car today. She wanted me to go along with her, but changed her mind and had a co-worker go instead. Mary is a total pushover. She is not good at the bargaining table. The ad for the car she wants is asking $2,200.00, I told her to offer them $1,500.00 for it. Kelly Blue book is $2,200, yes, but - people are dumping things right now in desperation.

I still have several things to do around here that I have already obtained the stuff for, I spent time this weekend working on getting some of it done. The next trellis MAY be ready to hang today - not sure yet. The cement probably needs a little more time to dry/set/cure. The laundry line should be able to hang, but - I ran into a small snag. I need to drill a hole for each eyelet - I tried just screwing them in there, no go. The wood is too hard and the eyelet thread size is too large. I am certain I had some drill bits around here......somewhere........

I also have more styrofoam, and I may go ahead and do that today if the other 2 deals are no-go's. I also still have 10 plants that are STILL in the pots from the auction I got them at last year. They are doing quite well, actually. I have just put it off because I have not identified a place where I really want to put them. I also put it off cause' I HATE digging in this dirt around here-----full of rocks and the ground is hard as well.

So, it's getting late and I want to get something done today. I'm off to see the wizard.......
ben

Watering

I started watering my neighbor's tree. It's a huge pine tree that stands at least 60 feet tall that they simply never water. Granted a tree that large is going to have a deep root system, but - there are times around here where it doesn't rain for 3 months running. I dunno - I think the reason some of the branches are dying off is cause' the thing simply ain't watered. It provides my yard shade in the morning, it's a nice looking tree and it's trunk is going up at a steep angle.

So much of an angle, the tree has huge, fat limbs growing the opposite direction of the angle to offset the angle of the tree. The limbs coming off the angle side are VERY small. I'm always amazed at how nature adapts to whatever cards it is dealt. Now WHY someone would start growing a tree at an angle is unbeknownst to me, but - I don't want to see the thing die. I gave it a slow, 8 hour watering overnight.

Anyway, I got out there and sweated the biggest sweat I have done since the heat came in digging out 2 more holes and sticking 2 beams in the ground - this is for another trellis. I've determined that the trellises will end precisely where I want them to - right next to the back door. I also removed the doggy door - it broke - and took it back to Home Depot. Misplaced the receipt - have it around here somewhere - but I did have the original box. They gave me a store credit - which was fine with me, I got another one and already installed it. I'm afraid this one isn't going to last very long, either and that I'm going to have to end up going to another store to buy something better. Or - I could just keep taking the broken ones back to Home Depot - I kept the receipt this time IN the box.

While there, I bought 4 more bags of concrete for my trellis project and that was the end of that - spending money is not a big hit on my list at this point unless it's to pay bills. Ken - the tenant I took to see Star Trek yesterday - we're both huge Star Trek fans - is going to take me this coming weekend to see it again. Don't have to pay a dime and yes, I will gladly watch that movie twice.

Oh, and dumped a bunch of money onto the card reader today while at Fry's doing shopping for the coming week. Plus continuing on with my emails to a lady - friend - that I met through a Craigslist ad a couple of months ago. I'm just human, I need a mate. There is no getting around it. Try to find someone compatible with your views/compatible with their views and find the chemistry - if it's there - and go on. I have had dozens and dozens of emails with her, and finally - yesterday - we talked on the phone for about 45 minutes.

We seem to be connecting very well.

There is a catch.

She lives in Flagstaff, I live in Phoenix. She's living in a place where I would love to live. I'm living in a place where I would love to leave. She's living in a place she doesn't want to leave, she's in a job/career that may end due to government budget cuts and may have to move. Nothing is - ever - perfect. Or even close to it. In a few emails, she has hinted at my visiting her up on her property - which sounds absolutely gorgeous. We are both from extremely unfortunate situations, I'll call it, in past marriages.

That's my "coming-out" party for today. I have written nothing about this prior to this on here because - I simply have had bad luck with CL encounters. Could this one go the same route? Of course it could. No doubting that. But I'm going to continue to take the risk until I find someone. I'm not in a hurry - I just don't want to go into old age alone. I think that would suck, terribly.

So there it is. I am not putting up the lines for the laundry today - the cement is still dark and obviously not ready for stresses to be put on it. I'll wait 2 days before putting another trellis up, but when I do, I'm going to stretch out my shade screen along the backs of the 3 trellis and get at least that much of the southern wall covered from the sun. The next set of trellises will be - interesting. I have an access opening to the underside of my house where the next trellis should go. I'm going to have to cement posts into either side of that opening - about 4 feet wide - and then either put 2 trellises on top of each other horizontally, or - put in lumber between the posts. I'm opting for the latter, as the other 3 trellises are/will be vertically installed.

Well, take that back - on the laundry lines, I could at least screw in the eyelets for the lines - but I just don't trust stringing lines with a lot of tension on them yet.

I'm done.
ben

More Layoffs

Not unbelievably, the GM of our area announced in an email sent to everyone that another person has been let go.
There is no end to this kind of action in sight.
To say that I'm uncomfortable right now is an understatement.
Go to work everyday, stay as optimistic as possible, put on the work hat, do everything you can to make yourself as valuable an asset to the company as possible.

But at the end of the day, no-one knows if that will be enough. I have serious doubts that my company is facing any kind of bankruptcy or going out of business. It's just a matter of who survives it and who doesn't - there is no calculation that I know of that will determine that. My crystal ball isn't working too well right now, I cannot see the future - only God can do that - so, I trust in Him to take care of my daily needs regardless of what's going on all around me.

But everytime I see another layoff, I certainly have to wonder if my name is going to end up on that list or not. I don't doubt that most if not all of my co-workers are thinking the same thing. Drivers are hardly immune. The company must have drivers - yes - but who stays and who goes - if any more drivers are on the axe list - no telling.

Changing the subject, yesterday I went with the girls to Dennys for breakfast. Yes, this is another bad-service deal, but I was mostly keepinp my mouth shut about it, as the girls were definitely unhappy with the level of service we were receiving.

To put a face to it, the man that was serving us was no-where to be seen after he took our orders and came back with our drinks. The lady that was serving tables next to us was in and out and in and out - checking on her customers quite frequently. I'm not one well taken to having to wait and wait for a refill on coffee - one of the main reasons I go to a restaurant to experience the "bottomless cup".

The girls kept asking the lady waitress - who was not our server - to please get us this and that. After we ate - the food was good if nothing else - I went up to pay at the counter my portion of the meal. The man behind the counter was clearly a store manager. He asked how the service was. I sort of paused for a moment, thinking about how to word that reply - and ended up saying it was okay. This manager saw right through that, apparently, and asked what was wrong. I tried not to make a big issue out of it, just referred to us having to ask another waitress to get stuff for us, as our waiter seemed to do a good disappearing act.

He proclaimed his loud disgruntlement with the waiter in question, said he was going to comp me and left the counter for a minute to go talk to another manager, apparently. He came back and I flatly told him I did not say anything about the waiter to get a comp. He said he knew, gave me $5 off the meal anyway, and that was that.

It appears to me, at least - in recent times - that management is taking a much more serious approach to customer relations than they have in the past. I've noticed it at many stores. There is one type of industry that seems immune to giving out good service, however, and that is all the large companies of which you have to call an 800 number to get through to them. More specifically, DirectTV; Qwest Communications and really, a host of others just like it. I'm more referring to the stores where you walk in and buy something versus the faceless entity where you call in and contract for services "rendered" in terms of receiving improved service. Home Depot takes the nomination and prize for most improved as far as I'm concerned.

When I walk in there nowadays, all employees apparently have been instructed to greet customers. I mean ALL of them. You walk by one and they're "how's it going?" or "Hi, welcome to Home Depot" - stuff like that. You ask them a question, they don't point you in the direction of what you need, they take you over to it and show you. I'm telling you, from the years and years of terrible, horrendous service they used to give, it's a dramatic, palpable - and nice - improvement. Even nicer that there is a store location only 2 miles away from my house.

Anyway, I'm sitting here mulling my options for today. The ex-tenant still wants me to come over and dig out that tree, but this time included the option of not having to dig it ALL out in one day. Maybe I could go over there and get the prelim stuff done - an hour and a half or so - and then come home. I really don't feel like going over there at all, as I'm about to take off to Fry's for some food, go to Home Depot for 4 more bags of concrete and a cheap paint brush to apply more Thompson's Water Seal to the trellises, and also do at least one more window with the styrofoam treament.

Dunno.

I do know that I'm - outta here!
ben

Sunday

Walked out in my living room this morning to find a guest laying on my floor. I had no knowledge of this guest even coming over last night - I went to bed early as I was tired and wanted to catch up on my sleep.
It's just Kyle - one of the boy's friends who comes over maybe once a month to spend the night, sometimes the weekend. It's also the same kid who has an almost full time job working at the raceway - considering he's 14 - I'll give him kudos for earning his own money and helping out his parents who have been hard-hit by economic chaos created by the current state of affairs in this crisis going on right now.

The T posts are in the ground and I'm just waiting for the concrete so set enough that I can install the eyelets and string the line. I figure later on today I should be able to do that without worrying about the concrete giving way to the pressures applied against it with running the line.

Which leaves a couple of other projects to finish up that I have been putting off for various reasons. I still have 2 more trellises to install on the south wall, along with putting up the shade screen behind those trellises and I have more styrofoam to put up on a couple of windows. I have enough material left over from the sliding glass door project to be able to cover everything else. Meaning it won't look so bad - styrofoam versus southwest style material, take the latter any day.

Today is Mother's Day, want to wish all mothers a great day and hopefully your kids - however old - will give you the honor deserved for filling such a vital, irreplacable role in all of our lives.
ben

Star Trek

So I went with Ken, one of my tenants, to see the new Star Trek movie. As I said, I was going to spend the $7.50 - turned out to be $7.00 - and call it quits on "obnoxious" spending. That is a thing of which I do very little of. The movie FAR exceeded my expectations. Having had watched Star Trek since I was a little kid, I knew the whole thing would be different with new cast. I went in with an open mind - but - they had the whole original cast, just new faces filling them and starting at the beginning of their careers instead of advancing into the future. It isn't really a movie you can explain without going into great depth, so I won't.

I was surprised to see Spock - the original Spock, ie: Leonard Nimoy, making an appearance in this movie. He faces up with his youthful self. Again, the movie was incredibly good, certainly if you're a Star Trek fan. I'm definitely hoping they make a series out of this, it was that good.

Back to earth/reality. Coming home to the dryer being used in the middle of a hot afternoon did not set well with me. I mean - the "experts" have stated for decades now that you do laundry in the mornings or the evenings when it's summertime. Inference is obvious: You don't need to heat up the house anymore than that sun is already heating it in the middle of a hot afternoon. I did say something to the offender - in a way that wasn't too terribly confrontational, but - knowing my situation, I would hope that tenants would have a little more empathy than that. It's 103 right now and the AC is cycling on and off, versus staying on continuously, which is a good sign.

Anyway, I am apparently going to have to write up some "lessons" in energy conservation and distribute to all tenants. I am burdening myself with the same things I am burdening everyone else with, including hanging up laundry outside to dry. Yes, a pain in the @$$, yes, a HUGE savings in electricity. Then again, I don't do 10 loads of laundry per week, not as big a deal to me, perhaps, as to "others".

Well, my lolligagging for today is over. I found my level and am heading to the great, hot, outdoors in order to pour some cement and finish up the laundry line project. Or at least, get the posts cemented in the ground and then finish up with the hooks and line tomorrow after the cement has set.

Time's a wasting, c'yall later!
ben

Saturday

Today's high expected to be 104 degrees. 5 days from now, the forecast shows 108. Welcome to - the Sonoran Desert in summer. Is it even summer yet? I dunno what day denotes the first day of summer - if we haven't hit it yet, we SHOULD have. Lol.

I felt it in the semi yesterday - it took a while for that thing to cool down after it sitting in the hot sun. I have the AC set on here that is cycling on and off all day and night long. It's not getting cool enough at night now to shut it off and open the windows : ( Well, I knew it was coming, just hoped maybe a little later in May instead of earlier.

As I said, minimum $100 of casino winnings from yesterday are going to the power reader - maybe more.

I have projects to do today, but Mary asked me to take her all over the place to find a car. Note that cash was offered to motivate me. Like, $100 cash. Wheels grinding, doing that with yesterday's casino winnings would net $200 for the power reader. Soooooo, guess I'll be driving around town today, as an offer like that right now is too good to turn down.

I am still going to get those posts done, regardless. In fact, I have half a mind to get out there right now before it gets too hot and pour the concrete. Oh, I remember what's holding me up: my level has disappeared somewhere and I can't find it. I'm kind of a nut about making sure things like that are as perfectly level in all directions as possible - both vertically and horizontally. I think I did something with it.........just can't remember what!

Well, I don't want to get too involved with this entry, just a hello, how ya doin'? and have a great day!
ben

Riding Out The Wave

..........I am a firm believer in riding out casino winning streaks until it's gone. It ain't gone yet.
$600 plus 2 weeks ago; between $70 and $100 last week (I just haven't figured that one out, but I KNOW it was at least $70) and $175 tonight. I wasn't really even having that great of a time - I sat at 3 different blackjack tables. The first 2 were just not the right crowd.
The "right" crowd has the right attitude. Potentially inexplicable, so I won't try.
The third table wasn't any better, but I forced myself into the right mind frame regardless, closed everyone else out, and came back from behind. At $175.00 ahead and not feeling like sticking around all night long - well actually I was $185.00 ahead - I pushed all my chips forward, gave the dealer a $10 tip - he gave me a winning streak of which I was betting minimum $20 bets every hand that went on for a while to get me ahead, headed to the cashier's window, changed up and got out of there.

I decided to get the boys some Jack-In-The-Box food - they love the tacos - 2 tacos for 99cents. Got 12 of those and ordered 2 Jumbo Jacks without mayo or cheese. I get home - yes, there are 12 tacos, no there are not 2 Jumbo Jacks, there's one. This particular store has stiffed me before and I should have known better - dump the bags out onto the counter and count everything. I called them up. Yes, the manager already knows about it - whoever the person was that was supposed to get my order right, realized the mistake and reported it to the manager. I am NOT driving back there to get one single friggin' Jumbo Jack. The manager beat me to it: I'll leave a note in the office for the manager (GM) and it will include the Jumbo Jack plus freebies.

Yes, that's the reply I want to hear. I was cool with that and hung up after giving my name for that note. Still............

I got another freebie today as well - free car wash. It's a place that changed owners - new owners decided 2 weeks of free car washes and then after that, some good deals as well. They have the right idea, I'll give them that. I drove up, got in line. I was pretty wary - what's the catch? Basic wash is free, I expected that. Premium wash - 4th tier up - is also free. Now what's the catch with THAT? You have to buy a $60 wax job. No thanks. We'll give you the wax job for $30 plus 2 free washes. Nope, just want the basic wash. The guy gave up on me. Lol. He did end up getting $7 from me for upgrading from the basic wash to an interior job plus tire treatment and other add-ons. Hey, that wash job was a $20 deal for $7, I wasn't complaining and they did a great job. Included shampooing the floor mats. The guy at the "end" of the wash spent 20 minutes on shining my wheel rims, scrubbing the interior and so-forth, I definitely tipped him. You know, if I weren't facing frickin' financial chaos, I would have definitely gone for the $30 wax job - it's HAND waxed PLUS 2 free PREMIUM washes. Okay, I know, I can wax it myself for $5. Whatever. I left there happy, is all I can say about that.

So, my winnings. I spent $10 at Jack's Crack, the rest is going towards bills. Umm, well - I should say, $100 into the M-Power reader (electricity) and $50 towards the water bill. Darn, I lied now that I think about it. The new Star Trek movie is out and I have been waiting for that thing for a while now. So, $7.50 for the matinee, probably tomorrow. I will drink water and buy nothing and be happy to see it on the casino's dime. THEN the rest goes towards bills.

In light of extremely bad news this week, I've had a good day, and darn I'm tired. It's WAY past my bedtime.
G'nite.
ben

Friday

The weekend is finally here, and for that I am VERY thankful. I need some time alone - away from people - to contemplate my next moves. I can't say that I can really do that until I actually SEE a paycheck with all these hours removed from it. That because I increased the exemptions by 1, but am considering going to 2. In fact, I'm definitely going to move it up to 2 more exemptions. I have no idea what impact that has on a paycheck.

Regardless, I have come to a bare minimum number that I must see on any given paycheck to be able to float - and I mean just barely float. Like having a boat in the water with a hole, the pump is on and it's pumping out the water as fast as it's coming in, but you turn that pump off for a minute and that boat is going to sink, and sink quickly. I have been considering my options, not particularly fond of any of them.

The reason I want time alone - away from everyone - is to get my thinking back to the days when I had nothing. Life had a different meaning then. I was a missionary and really didn't care that I had nothing. The things I was doing had it's own fulfilling qualities and whether I ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or spaghetti without meat really hardly concerned me. The society we are living in today is so self-centered and self oriented - we have gotten used to it and don't see it that way. I need not go into it much more than that - the point is to prepare myself for a way of living, if only temporarily - that does not succumb to any kind of gratification that costs money.

I may find myself looking for the doors of a church that are unlocked but having no services, to find time in solace and quiet before the Lord. I don't find that in my house on weekends for the most part, as soon as the boys are here - which my son already is - that goes out the window.

Speaking of my son - he had to put his dog down today. This is his dog at my ex'es house. They put him down this morning - I get a call at work and I heard great anguish and grief being expressed. That's pretty normal stuff for a doglover - but - it's also pretty normal at least for me to get over it quickly and move on.

Anyway, hope you all had a great/good/as best as possible week.
ben

More

My newest tenant was in here - the kitchen that is - and we were discussing things of all natures. Mortgages came up and I explained to her my situation. I thought I had told her before. She wasn't shocked - I'm not about to lose my home or anything - but she did refer me to the FHA's site where she had seen something on TV about loan modifications. She directed me through what she had seen them doing on the TV.

After inputting the info, I was taken from a loan refinance to a loan modifcation screen. Okay, well - it informed me that a loan specialist would be calling the number I supplied them.

Worth a try, at least. I can certainly justify the need for such in losing OT hours and now, even regular hours. I feel very bad for one of my co-workers who wife just got laid off this week plus he lost 5 hours per week in pay. The unemployment benefits don't kick in for 4 to 6 weeks now. It never used to take that long, but apparently there are so many people applying for the benefits, it's taking much longer to process.

Well geeze - who has 6 weeks to wait for that money? It's the government - they are printing money like it's free - why not hire more personnel? It's almost laughable the way the government looks at money. ALMOST. It's not, really, that's just the way I like to react to things that make me blood-boilingly angry. Better to laugh it off than die of a heart attack from stress.

It's quite unfortunate that the federal government is so intwined with garbage and regulations and junk, that there isn't much that anyone can do to change it at this point. Tea parties are great - but are they really going to effect anything? I have serious doubts. If you could go in and just get rid of EVERYONE in an elected or appointed office in the Federal Government and start from scratch, what would you end up with?

We humans are seemingly inherently evil - we would just end up with the same friggin' thing. It's not just a caustic situation, it's embarassing. The IRS comes after tax evaders like they're - the WHO going after the swine flu - yet it's the same government that operates the IRS that seems to care less about the people that pay their bills' financial well-being. Do we really need $500 hammers and $1,000 toilet seats? Or a glorified $1,000,000.00 out house in a national park?

But, it falls upon deaf ears. I do not resign myself to hopelessness in this situation, I just await someone or a group of someones to come along that gain national favor that might be able to do something in order to reverse this b***s*** we call a government. I sometimes wonder if this situation would ever end up in anarchy, or even a civil war? When will we all get tired enough of that s*** going on before we stand up, stand together and stand against it?

Never. That's my guess. Old-school, maybe, but new generation? Highly doubtful. The sad part about all of this is, it isn't a matter of violence or threats, it's just a matter of educating the masses - and somehow finding real people to take the positions that need honest, moral and ethical people in those positions. I wonder if that's possible.

Meanwhile, and totally changing the subject, the washing machine is making untowardly noises. It doesn't sound good. It isn't a good time for appliances and things to start breaking. The poor machine is used too much, is the honest truth about it. People doing pint sized loads of laundry. I just tookalookit the load in there - it's about 1/3 the capacity of the machine. Meaning that 2/3rds more laundry could have been done in there. If there's one area of waste going on in my house, it's definitely laundry, and it's definitely the ladies doing it. I do maybe 3 loads a week, sometimes 4, sometimes 2. The girls? I can't say for sure. 15 to 20 loads is my guess between them. I don't really understand the need for one person to be doing laundry that often? At least, by this weekend, I will have half the situation removed entirely. I was out there putting together the T-posts, digging out the holes deeper. I got distracted by other things and now it's later than I want to deal with. No big deal. Tomorrow I hope to get them both in the ground. If not, DEFINITELY Saturday. Wow, the work week's almost over!

Edited: In my view, another fine example of government waste: WHY do they need Two Thousand, Two Hundred acres of land to build a memorial for a memorial of Flight 93? I am totally FOR a memorial, don't get me wrong, but over TWO THOUSAND ACRES of land? And they're talking about emminent domain to get it? And the story of the landowners saying the government has done nothing they said they would in appraisals and determing costs for moving? I'm sorry, but I just don't get it. Maybe one of you can educate me.

Yeehawwww!
Oh, well, I will only have worked 35 hours this week.........
G'nite.
ben

Thursday

Basically donating time at this point. I was out all day today, got back to the shop, filed my paperwork and then logged out. Then I realized I had to count the cash drawer - which usually takes 10 to 15 minutes depending on what's happened. Tha doesn't have to be done every day, only when a cash sale is made, which is rather infrequent at this point.

The antibiotics are working on both dogs - thank God Almighty. The swelling in Duke's neck has subsided considerably and Prince's paw is looking better as well. I was reading online several sites about giving antibiotics, several say a minimum of 7 days even if the wound looks better, and better 10 plus days. Apparently antibiotics can stop working if you don't give enough and for a long enough period of time. No worries, I have enough to last both of them for a while. I bought enough last time to cover any emergency that might come up, plus I just received another 100 count bottle in the mail yesterday to cover any lack that the first bottle may have.

The savings is substantial. I don't have to go pay a vet $50 to tell me what I already know: the dog needs antibiotics. I also found out the name of the good stuff: fish-flex. I have researched this enough to satisfy my requirement to know whether this stuff is REALLY being sold for dogs or is supposed to only be used in fish tanks. The providers bypass the need for a prescription by labelling/packaging the antibiotics under the pretense that it's for fish health in fish tanks. Cephalexin is the good stuff - I am using Fish-Mox right now, but next time I will switch to Fish Flex. It's a generic name, they all use it. Fish Mox is amoxicillin.
Anyway, I'm just very happy to have found all of this and the required info to go along with prescribing antibiotics for my own dogs.

Next? Dug the holes yesterday, but - the ground is so hard and full of rocks around here, I ended up filling the holes with water and wait until today to finish the dig and hopefully, put in the beams for the laundry-line setup. I have decided that instead of removing the electrical cord to the dryer, I will simply unhook the heating element/s inside the dryer. That way, those that want air-fluff can do so at-will, those that want heat-dry - can take it outside, cause' it's plenty hot out there - ie: right now it's 103 degrees.

Fry's called me today. It was the "meat manager", don't remember his name. He was from corporate, I believe. He informed me that there is a chicken sale going on right now and that there's plenty of chicken available. Yes, I know there's a sale, and yes, I know there's plenty of chicken. Informed him that another individual named Chad from his company had already dealt with this situation - seemingly a LONG time ago and that I was satisfied with the result. It kinda irked me that this guy called me after how long? ---- over a week since I filed that complaint online? Better not to call at all, considering the problem had been dealt with at at least a couple of levels. I didn't bother to tell him I wasn't particularly happy with the latest chicken sale: it has pics of chicken drumsticks - which is what I went to get, and then find out it's chicken legs - the whole thing. What can I say, I'm a fan of drumsticks and thighs after chicken breast. I don't like buying the whole leg, I prefer to buy it already cut up. Lazy? Maybe, just me I guess. Overall, Fry's is a great store so no big deal. I was going through the flyers yesterday and found nothing of great interest in any of them from any of the stores. The "good" stuff comes and goes, gotta jump on it when it comes.

I haven't spent that gift card yet - hopefully it doesn't have an expiration anytime soon, I'm waiting for certain things to come on sale and the swoop in, spend the entire card, and have a good take on it.

I dunno. I have no desire to traipse out into 103 degree heat and start installing things into the ground. Wait until later, I think. Maybe get one done today and the other done tomorrow and finish the project on Saturday. I'm thinking of applying at grocery stores - Albertson's/Safeway/whatever for a cashier's position. Maybe there aren't any openings, but I am going to at least try. I would try at Fry's, but I would have to go to a store I haven't started "trouble" at, lol. There's one down the street not too far away - but again, my name is probably "flagged" at that place. Jobs are scarce right now, nothing else to say about it.

With that, I think I will end this one and - take a power nap.
ben

So, today I'm at the main branch............

...........downtown, still thinking about buying some 4X4's for posts for the clothesline I want to put up, when it suddenly dawned on me that we have literally PILES of 4X4's used for dunnage from trucks bringing in product. Instead of throwing it away, it gets dumped into a pile. Well, the pile had grown considerably, a sign of the times perhaps, there was FAR more in that pile than anyone needed.
It didn't take long to find 3 - good - 4X4's long enough and straight enough to fulfill my need.
I was glad that was free, cause' the hardware and nails and such to put the thing together was over $30. I guesstimate less than 2 weeks after I get that setup - up - to pay for itself.

Today was a non-productive day. No deliveries and I didn't see a single counter sale from our branch. Maybe there was one - I wasn't there for it if it occured. I have braced myself for whatever is to come - and it is undoubtedly true that there will be more coming. Sure, we all took a 5 hour per week cut, I have serious doubts that's the end of it. I'm - unfortunately - fairly certain that there will be another round of layoffs sooner or later. What I'm more "fearing" is if our store would to be shut down - would they keep me and transfer me downtown, or just hand me a pink slip? I can't dwell on it - whatever happens, happens and it's almost totally out-of-my control. The only thing I can do is make myself as valuable to the company as I possibly can. Whatever happens beyond that? I put it in God's hands.

As for my home? Lol. I mean, I dealt with the loss of OT and hoped that I wouldn't have to deal with anything else. Now - how do I deal with this? I simply haven't got any answers yet. I could certainly take on a part time job - if one were available. You know this is what is consuming my thoughts right now - and probably will be until I get something definitive going. You can't sit back and give a sigh of relief when ---- relief hasn't shown up yet. I did have an interesting email exchange with the general manager, starting yesterday and carrying on into today. He wrote a pretty good message to everyone about the 5-hour reduction and then did his best to explain why it's happening. Included was a statement that he would wager that people would rather lose hours than lose their jobs altogether.

I wrote him back and totally concurred and thanked him. I would FAR rather have "only" 7 hours per day right now than...........NOTHING........and plainly stated so, including that there are no jobs out there, if there are, there are 1,000 people applying for one position and a few other things. I was a bit astounded when he wrote back and said I was the only one that had said anything to him about being appreciative for his efforts in helping us all keep our jobs, and was wondering if his point had been made that he is trying to HELP everyone, versus just laying off more people.

You have 2 options in most things in life: The glass is half full or the glass is half empty "theorem". Positive outlook or negative. It's up to each individual. I take an extremely negative view on some things - and most of it has to deal with customer service (bad) received from whatever business or corporation. But I almost always don't just bitch about it, I do something about it. I would say at least 85% of the time my efforts end up getting something back for the effort. Sometimes I get stuff totally unexpectedly. Regardless, when it comes to employment, I always try to take a positive approach. So, people can bitch, moan and complain about the loss of hours, or, they can be thankful they still have hours to be had, it's just that simple. I'll take the latter and have voiced that stance already numerous times within the company. The loss of hours is certainly not the greatest thing in the world, but it FAR exceeds what I would be getting in an umployment line.

So, I have decided to look for a part-time job. I know, it's an uphill battle, but I have to try. I have all weekends and hours available from 3:30 pm on into the night. The time is available, might as well give a shot. I'm thinking of looking into finding a cashiering job, since I have some experience in the past with that (albeit far in the past) and I am responsible for the cash drawer at work, reconciling both cash and credit transactions. I do believe I excel at customer service, anyway - I give my best face and effort and I can take people getting ugly and nasty with me - it happens frequently in the construction business. Customer service is certainly a factor in the making or breaking of a lot of companies right now, I would have to imagine. A person taking their business elsewhere means a LOT more nowadays than it might have just a few years ago.

Ummm, well enough. I am going to wait for the sun to dip in the sky a little and then go out there and look at where I want to place the clothesline setup and dig the holes for the beams.

Hope you all had a great day!
ben

Random Thoughts

It occured to me that there is no absolute necessity for metal poles to build my own posts for a T setup for hanging laundry.
Wood will do just as nicely, I will be able to do the project myself and it will cost less than the pre-made setups found at any of the stores.

Everything I saw either on-line or at the stores were nothing but junk. The stuff would last - not very long especially with heavy usage - and then I would just be out that money. No, a couple of posts, 2 top pieces, cut them to size, drill holes, put in eyelets. Concreted into the ground. Good to go. Get it down in 2 days - 1 day to set the posts in the concrete and the next day to pull the lines tight.

Solace in the fact I am not the only one facing severe economic times. Not that I wish that on anyone, but at this point, I'm on the same boat as everyone else - that boat must be HUGE to accomodate that many people.

I've run a budget 10 times at least. Float? Maybe. Depends on monthly expenses that I have some control over - mostly electric and water. Time will tell - also really don't know how much my checks will be. I added an exemption to reduce my taxes, so - it will be 3 weeks before I find that out, I am getting paid tomorrow at the "full" rate.

Work - very slow right now, VERY slow.

Hope you all are having a great day.
Prayers are with those that need them.
ben

Tuesday

So, I go to the main branch today. I'm talking with a co-worker who got a double-whammy yesterday. Not only did he lose the same 5 hours a week I am losing, his wife was layed off from her job yesterday as well. I wonder how many thousands or even millions of times that scenario has been played out in this nation?

I still have no answers to my dilemna, but after handing out notices yesterday, I noticed that the power consumption has quelled dramatically. Shoulda done that before.

I spoke with both my mom and my dad about this - they have told me they want to know. Mother called back after I had discussed the situation with her and offered to take the 2 "smaller" dogs if it comes to that. In other words, she would take care of them, feed them, all that until - whenever something dramatically good happens that I could get on my feet. She would not take the Danes - citing the fact that she simply couldn't handle them. I don't disagree, those dogs have to have a very dominant person to keep them in check. They are good dogs, but they will push - see how far they can go with anything.

My dad has offered some money he's receiving for whatever it was. I guess I don't really feel good about taking so much of his money, and I don't want to become a burden to him, so I wrote back and thanked him for the offer - but - as I said, I don't want to become burdensome. He's experience numerous health issues - nothing major but enough to keep him busy with doctors and such.

I'm just working on cutting costs around here - and the main one is electricity. Number 2 behind it is water. The water situation could be reduced significantly if I could get enough bills put together to install a drip watering system for all of those plants. Okay, it isn't THAT bad on the water bill, but I know I could reduce it probably a good $30 per month. Drip systems are much more effective for the plants, anyway.

I have beem looking for T posts for laundry - can't find them. Take it back, found some on Target's website - something like $25 a piece. I don't wonder if I could find someone to just make them for me. Metal post, a cross section on the top. Weld it together - times 2 (need 2 posts, obviously), put some rungs on them to hold the line, done. I don't know if I could get that for the same price as what they want online - but it would definitely be a much more solid setup and would last a LOT longer.

There's more, but there are a lot of things I need to get done or started on around here today, the sun ain't gonna stay up any longer than it has to just for me, so I'm gonna get to it.
ben

Contemplating/Thinking/Gears Turning

First off, Bobby's suggestion was excellent. I hadn't thought of it and I'm not sure I would have. Thank you, Bobby! I don't know how much more I will get on my paychecks for lessor taxes being taken out, but at this point, every penny is going to count.

Now then, the options.
A lot of this is ugly.
1. Move out of my master bedroom, rent it out at $500 per month. I would be living in Caleb's room - who would have to decide whether he would still want to come over or not.
2. Bankruptcy. Last case scenario. Only way I would do that is if creditors were garnishing my wages. I will fight and claw to keep away from doing that - it's a LONG time before that stuff goes away. In fact, April (last month) is the 10-year mark for the first and hopefully only bankruptcy I have gone through.
3. Lose the car. $223 per month payment. I don't think that's a great idea. They take the car, sell it at auction and then come after you for the difference.
4. Part time job. I tried for a while a few months ago to find something, never panned out. Might try again anyway.
5. New full-time job. Good luck. Obviously the market is over-saturated with millions of qualified workers (nation-wide of course) - all looking for work.
6. Begging. My mother wouldn't help me if it meant my life, my dad, however, is a very giving man. I can't really think about taking advantage of him, so I won't. He sends me a $100 per month check to help out - I'll take that and be very happy with it.
7. Cut expenses at the house. Yes, I can still do more of that around here. Computers shut off when not in use. Ceiling fans the same. Until 10 minutes ago, I was leaving the AC fan on 24 hours a day. It's just a fan, but - it's costing electricity. I already tried to find a T at Lowe's for drying laundry today, no-go there. The man suggested Ace Hardware, be giving them a call in a little bit. Finish the trellis project - it will save on cooling by keeping the sun off the house on the southern side. Amazingly, Mary actually suggested asking each tenant for an extra $20-$25 per month for summer month electicity - as long as it is across the board. I think the newest tenant might consent, I don't know about Ken. His finances are already screwed.
8. Ride a bike to work. I'm not sure I can deal with that, either. I don't have a bike, first off and then - it's 13 miles each way. Going to work would be okay, coming home in the hot sun - not very much fun. It would save, obviously, on fuel expenses.
9. Another 401k loan. I'm $138 away from being able to secure another 401k loan. I was hoping to stay away from it, though, and have the bi-weekly payment money available for use. It's a total of $54 a month that I'm paying on that loan. Obviously, I WILL do it if I have to. I could get around a 2k loan when this loan is paid off. The amount is actually going up as the stock market has been rebounding and my 401k account has rebounded right along with it.
10. Get rid of the dogs. In a pig's eye. When freakin' hell freezes over. Stuff like that. I don't CARE what anyone thinks, losing my dogs to me would be like losing a part of my family. Coco would end up in a pound and would end up dead - she was handed around to fully FOUR families before I got her. The Danes - might be able to find a place for them. The Rat Terrier - eats so little food that if he were the only dog here, I would just feed him table scraps and that would be enough. I'll be getting kicked out of my house in foreclosure before I get rid of my dogs, that's how much they mean to me. For the naysayers - keep it to yourself, I don't even want to hear about it - I really DON'T. There are some things in life that a person must and should take a stand for. Dogs - are not life and death material, of course, but I am facing a huge void of nothingness in my life. I already do very little in terms of entertainment that costs anything. My house is my life - so to speak - at this point in time, though I don't want to confuse that with the Lord - who really IS my life - always has been and always will be. I could go on about the dogs, but I feel no need to "defend myself" about my desire to keep them, so I won't.
11. Get rid of DirecTV and Internet. Tenants are my lifeline, certainly now. Make tenants unhappy, they go away. 2 tenants use the internet to the extreme. 2 tenants watch DirecTV to the extreme - 3 tenants, 2 mixes. Turning it off would mean their departure, I'm sure of it. In fact, I'm positive of it. I wouldn't be able to attract anyone here for the money I'm asking, it's just out of the question. For the sake of the argument, I watch very little TV so it would barely affect me to get rid of DirectTV - I do spend ample amounts of time on the internet, but I could get used to dial-up again for $10 per month and be done with it. That's my case for those that would think I want to keep it for myself. I am floating around the idea of decreasing DirecTV service, though, to fewer channels, I am going to ask everyone what channels they are watching and see if a decrease would affect each person or not.


I could come up with more, maybe. Maybe not. Attacking the electric consumption around here will definitely be worth the effort in savings.


I am concerned about my current financial status as has been handed to me today. Yes, I am.
To be quite honest, I would definitely rent out my bedroom to save my house. To lose this house would mean losing any opportunity to have my own home for a long, long time. Throw money away to rent every month. Living in apartments with people making noises and complaining and whining about everything. No dogs or a very limited list of dogs you can have. No diss on anyone that reads this journal - but apartment living is a total NUISANCE. I HATE it.

Umm, well that's enough for now.

I must do something at this point to take my mind off of all of this.

ben

Bad News

My company - at our AZ branches anyways - just made a major announcement that is going affect me severely: "Reduced Schedules". Starting today, I am facing another $460 per month loss in wages.
They are taking away 5 hours per week from all hourly associates.

I have no idea how I am going to jump over this hurdle and land on my feet.

My mind, after reading this email sent out to everyone, immediately went into survival mode.

I have no clue.

I have cut most things out of my life that can be cut.

Lose the car?
Go bankrupt?
I'll do anything to save my house. Everything else can go to the pot.

I even had this idea from a few months ago of renting out my master bedroom and moving in with my son in his rather small bedroom.

He would hate it. I wouldn't much care for it either, but - again - when it comes to survival, I am willing to do things that many people are not. My son - could stay at his mother's if he didn't like it. I suppose he could just sleep out on the couch in the living room as well - he likes doing that anyway.

I have very few options at this point. Having 3 tenants from this point forth is a given. Until this thing clears up, anyway.

I am not defeated, gloomy or depressed. Survival mode doesn't do that to me, it makes me much more sharper focused, actually. This kind of news DOES have it's effects on me, there is no doubt. Give me a few days or a week or so and I will adjust to it, today? I'm just going to be in automatic mode.

There are no jobs out there to be had - in thinking of getting a second, part-time job, a thing I already tried to acquire a while back and got nothing but a bite from the Phoenix Zoo for a $7.25 per hour job. I'm thinking I could do pizza delivery for awhile - if even that stuff is doing anything right now.

I have a lot to think about.

Hope you all have a great day - I'm not sure how mine's going to go after this.
ben