Friday

The weekend is finally here, and for that I am VERY thankful. I need some time alone - away from people - to contemplate my next moves. I can't say that I can really do that until I actually SEE a paycheck with all these hours removed from it. That because I increased the exemptions by 1, but am considering going to 2. In fact, I'm definitely going to move it up to 2 more exemptions. I have no idea what impact that has on a paycheck.

Regardless, I have come to a bare minimum number that I must see on any given paycheck to be able to float - and I mean just barely float. Like having a boat in the water with a hole, the pump is on and it's pumping out the water as fast as it's coming in, but you turn that pump off for a minute and that boat is going to sink, and sink quickly. I have been considering my options, not particularly fond of any of them.

The reason I want time alone - away from everyone - is to get my thinking back to the days when I had nothing. Life had a different meaning then. I was a missionary and really didn't care that I had nothing. The things I was doing had it's own fulfilling qualities and whether I ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or spaghetti without meat really hardly concerned me. The society we are living in today is so self-centered and self oriented - we have gotten used to it and don't see it that way. I need not go into it much more than that - the point is to prepare myself for a way of living, if only temporarily - that does not succumb to any kind of gratification that costs money.

I may find myself looking for the doors of a church that are unlocked but having no services, to find time in solace and quiet before the Lord. I don't find that in my house on weekends for the most part, as soon as the boys are here - which my son already is - that goes out the window.

Speaking of my son - he had to put his dog down today. This is his dog at my ex'es house. They put him down this morning - I get a call at work and I heard great anguish and grief being expressed. That's pretty normal stuff for a doglover - but - it's also pretty normal at least for me to get over it quickly and move on.

Anyway, hope you all had a great/good/as best as possible week.
ben