The title of this entry is the kind of day that has happened.
This morning, early AM, a co-worker was on I-40 eastbound heading to New Mexico on company business - usually they send him out to fix fire hydrants or to do pipe welding projects - when he hit an ice patch. There are no more details at the moment about what exactly happened as far as what he ran into, but he died at the scene of the accident.
I knew this guy well, we talked frequently about nothing in particular whenever I saw him at the main branch, which was frequently enough. He's one of those guys that everyone loves. Dedicated, loyal company-man. Hard worker. Loving father, grandpa and husband. 52 years old, in excellent health, a man that left for work in the morning but will never return home. The "glue" that held his extended family together, he was basically raising his daughter's kids.
Everyone at work in shock and disbelief. The reality of it not really setting in - yet.
I begin praying for the family. I have experienced enough grief in my lifetime in lost loved ones to know what they are going through. Yet, the element of an untimely death, unexpected, surreal, just unbelievable. But that's the same thing that happened to my best friend some 3 years ago now - heart attack out of the blue that took his life right there at his house.
I get home and definitely commit to the idea of going to the church prayer meeting tonight. I was going to leave early, just wanted to sit in a quiet place and seek the Lord. The neighborhood kid had taken Sophie out for a walk and then came back for Duke - I don't allow Prince on walks anymore, his bum leg is only going to get worse with extended walks.
I'm waiting for the kid to get back with Duke so I can leave for church. He comes knocking on the glass sliding door to the kitchen. I'm looking at him wondering why he just didn't come to the other door? I open it up and ask him where Duke is? Well Duke was attacked by 3 Pitbulls, was his response. Now I'm freaking out, well where IS he? He's over there where I left him. What are you talking about, why did you leave him over there?
Turns out the people that saved Duke's life were holding him, the police had been called and the police had brought the kid to my house to get me to come back to get Duke. This day getting more surreal by the hour. I follow the police car to where Duke is, jump out of my car and run over to him. He is a bloody mess. He had been bitten all over his body, and when I say all over, I mean his neck, all 4 legs, his left ear had been bitten so many times you couldn't tell how many bite wounds. His back, chest, everywhere.
I'm just dumbfounded at this point. The men that saved Duke - they beat those Pitbulls off of him, Duke had NO idea what to do with 3 vicious dogs attacking him out of the blue so they said he just laid down on the street. I have no doubt in my mind those dogs would have killed him if there hadn't been human intervention. I had to wait until they were done with my information, the owner's of the Pitbulls information and waiting for Animal Control to show up. Duke is standing there shaking blood out of his head every few seconds, in obvious pain. Well I patiently waited and Animal Control finally showed up. The guy comes over and tells me the animal hospital on Hardy drive is still open and is the closest place. Good, cause' I've taken my dogs there before, they will have my information on file. I thank the officers for their help in the matter, shake the men's hands and thank them for saving Duke's life and then take off to the hospital.
I could have dealt with a couple of bite wounds myself, but this was too much, especially his ear. They take Duke into the back and then take me to a waiting room, where the vet comes in and hands me a prepared paper with the "news" on it: $520 to knock him out, deal with all the wounds, put staples in him, give him a shot of antibiotics, give me the antibiotic pills and the pain killer. I have antibiotics at home, but I just decided to go ahead and just do the whole thing there. They sent me packing - told me they would call me when they were done.
Well, I left and headed straight to church. Going home made no sense to me, going to church and seeking the Lord did. I was there 5 minutes before it all hit me. Waves of grief came over me for the man that died and his family. I felt the heart of the Lord going out to them. I prayed and prayed for that family and shed no small amount of tears. I thought of all the times we laughed together about different things at work and the last time he had been over at our branch, spending the day helping us get ready for the inventory - he was there last week. I had just talked to him yesterday. I thought about Duke - but I knew he was going to be okay albeit probably a bit messed up in the head after that kind of attack.
Well, I asked everyone at church to pray for the family of the man that died today, in a vehicle, alone, on a cold stretch of highway on Interstate 40, out in the middle of nowhere.
I had talked to a salesman at work on the phone earlier, he was all messed up about it. He continued to exhort me over and over to be safe out there on the roads in the semi. It was amazing that he actually sounded like he cared for me, a person I hardly ever talk to. It's the reality of death, especially a sudden , unexpected death. It hits home, you start thinking about your own life. When is it going to end? How is it going to end? My manager and the lady that works in a different department in our company but uses one of our office spaces were totally out of it. I could tell my manager wasn't really being able to deal with it all that well.
Well, the prayer service was at the end and the pastor called everyone up to pray together, but I had to leave. It was almost 8:30 and that's when the hospital closes - they called me during the service telling me to be there no later than 8:30. I didn't want to leave Duke there overnight, so I rushed back. He was still out of it from being sedated, not even close to being fully awake, in fact they said he probably couldn't even see yet. He had to be carried to the car. I had to lift him into the car and then lift him back out. He couldn't walk so he laid down right next to the car on the driveway. Well that isn't going to work, I needed to get him inside on his bed. I coaxed him up and he was wobbling all over the place. Took about 5 minutes to actually get him into the house and onto his bed. I left the bedroom to go turn things off and h started crying. At least for right now, he won't let me out of his sight.
It's way past my bedtime. I'm attempting to wind down, I figured writing out this entry would help and so it is. Finally getting sleepy, Duke has settled down though shaking, but I think (hope) he'll go to sleep after I shut off the light.
It's been quite the day.
ben
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Final week of fasting. Yesterday was certainly a test. Lots of meat being served in my kitchen by various tenants who were attempting to entice me to "fudge". No thanks, I made it this far, only 7 days left to go, I'm gonna make it through this.
But the giant meatloaf sitting there on my kitchen counter was not just a little bit tempting.
For the final part of the fast, I'll be spending some serious time in prayer attempting to hear/see what direction God wants my life to go. I'm not really sure, to be honest. At least many times, things you pray about and seeking answers for have various little confirmations sent your way if/when you finally believe you have heard the still, small voice of the Lord and want to start acting upon it.
I say "usually" because any time you try to cage God into a the box of "He always does it this way", well, then it most certainly will not happen that way. He's God, after all and we're mere mortals. His thoughts are far above ours. He says the whole picture, we only "see through a glass, dimly", as the scripture so succinctly puts it. No-one can see the entire picture, certainly no-one on this earth, besides God Himself.
So, a certain amount of trust and a lot of faith is necessary to simply, blindly, follow after God not necessarily knowing where the next step is going to lead you. But that's the beauty of following after Christ. You don't know, He does! He isn't going to lead you into death traps and situations that are mortally challenging - unless of course that is your eventual ending in life for His glory. How can your death lead to Him receiving glory?, you ask. This isn't really that hard of a question - there are many things that can happen through a person's death with others seeing it and God using it as an opportunity for more souls to be brought into His kingdom.
Not that I am seeking to die, lol. Not at all. At the same time, I just got through reading the news and you see all kinds of people in the news that have died sudden deaths, such as the hundreds of people that died in that far in that bar. I can't even imagine the horror of that scene. Well I can imagine it to some degree, I can't imagine burning to death in a fire - while being able to see an exit in front of you and not being able to access it.
If you are going to die, which we all must, then might as well see that eventual ending be used for the glory of God, is all I am saying. But that's an entire story and entry in itself and I have to leave for work in a few minutes, so put that one on the shelf.
Speaking of work, it has rained for 3 days now. Saturday it rained all day long without stopping. This probably means that most if not all contractors will be shut down since most job sites will be too muddy to do much of anything on.
Which means work today? Probably going to be the longest 8 hours I have spent at work in any recent times, considering there won't be much to do.
G'day.
ben
But the giant meatloaf sitting there on my kitchen counter was not just a little bit tempting.
For the final part of the fast, I'll be spending some serious time in prayer attempting to hear/see what direction God wants my life to go. I'm not really sure, to be honest. At least many times, things you pray about and seeking answers for have various little confirmations sent your way if/when you finally believe you have heard the still, small voice of the Lord and want to start acting upon it.
I say "usually" because any time you try to cage God into a the box of "He always does it this way", well, then it most certainly will not happen that way. He's God, after all and we're mere mortals. His thoughts are far above ours. He says the whole picture, we only "see through a glass, dimly", as the scripture so succinctly puts it. No-one can see the entire picture, certainly no-one on this earth, besides God Himself.
So, a certain amount of trust and a lot of faith is necessary to simply, blindly, follow after God not necessarily knowing where the next step is going to lead you. But that's the beauty of following after Christ. You don't know, He does! He isn't going to lead you into death traps and situations that are mortally challenging - unless of course that is your eventual ending in life for His glory. How can your death lead to Him receiving glory?, you ask. This isn't really that hard of a question - there are many things that can happen through a person's death with others seeing it and God using it as an opportunity for more souls to be brought into His kingdom.
Not that I am seeking to die, lol. Not at all. At the same time, I just got through reading the news and you see all kinds of people in the news that have died sudden deaths, such as the hundreds of people that died in that far in that bar. I can't even imagine the horror of that scene. Well I can imagine it to some degree, I can't imagine burning to death in a fire - while being able to see an exit in front of you and not being able to access it.
If you are going to die, which we all must, then might as well see that eventual ending be used for the glory of God, is all I am saying. But that's an entire story and entry in itself and I have to leave for work in a few minutes, so put that one on the shelf.
Speaking of work, it has rained for 3 days now. Saturday it rained all day long without stopping. This probably means that most if not all contractors will be shut down since most job sites will be too muddy to do much of anything on.
Which means work today? Probably going to be the longest 8 hours I have spent at work in any recent times, considering there won't be much to do.
G'day.
ben
Saturday, January 26, 2013
The Giant Spool
It's still raining! I mean, the ground is getting saturated and it's just wonderful outside! My fishies in both ponds are all over it!
Unfortunately, I frequently run into construction workers and their bosses who have not much of a clue on how to load or unload trucks. Such was the case the other day in loading a giant spool. A piece of pipe with a flange attached to the end or both ends. In this case, 36 inch diameter pipe, one flange, cement lined, asphaltic coated steel type of pipe. Around 4,000 pounds - conservative guess. I can look it up on our system, but you get the point: very heavy.
So, he puts the spool down on the boards on the trailer, but what I couldn't see and didn't know was that he had the forks tilted forward. Ideally, with an object that large that also rolls, you attempt to get your forks level and set it down gently. If it begins rolling, then you simply tilt the forks in the opposite direction.
Well, the spool begins rolling - right at me. I grabbed a hold of it in an attempt to stop the thing from rolling right off the side of the truck, which would have destroyed it (we're talking between 10 and 15 grand for this thing). I was pushing with all my might, my right hand was getting gouged by the sharp corner on the flange on the spool (didn't realize it at the time, adrenaline pumping type of thing) and I was preparing myself to jump out of the way of the thing.
But, I managed to get the momentum of the thing stopped and got the spool to stop rolling. It was then that I realized he had the forks tilted forward and STILL had them tilted forward. It took all that is within me to not start cussing the man out and give him an education on forklift operation at the same time. Instead, I didn't say anything, he let the thing down off the forks and then there was no pressure.
Only then did I also realize that my right thumb had a deep gouge in it, bleeding and it appeared the meat inside the thumb had been smashed to the side of where the metal was pushing against it.
Although I was in no danger - well I was and wasn't - I was quite ready to jump off the side of that truck and out of harm's way - I don't think I will ever do anything like that again. They can have THEIR people up on the truck and attempt to stop a giant, rolling object that is gaining momentum and hard to stop and see how they like it. If it were me operating that forklift, the situation would not have evolved into what it did.
As for today, I rented via pay-per-view on Direct TV the movie Taken 2 with Liam Neesom. I read the "critic's" reviews. The ones I read gave it such a low rating that I pretty much figured I would like the movie since I loved the first one and I wasn't wrong about that. Yes, there are some very unrealistic scenes in the movie, I'll give the critics that much. But what action movie doesn't? Take those with a grain of salt. Lots of interruptions, though, with people traipsing in and out of the kitchen - making a lot of noise and so, I am going to watch it again. I have much of nothing to do today, one more weekend I have decided to take to try and get completely beyond this illness that had beset me.
And - after taking a long break from writing this entry, yet it is still raining outside. Absolutely gorgeous weather. I had windows and doors opened, but closed them because it was getting quite cool in here.
As for the fast, still on it. Meatless Daniel fast. I'm figuring that by the time sundown of 2 Sundays from now gets here, I will be ready for a fat, juicy steak and all the trimmings. Or a delicious, thick burger. In the meantime, praying and seeking the Lord. The prayer meeting last night was very good.
Enough.
Unfortunately, I frequently run into construction workers and their bosses who have not much of a clue on how to load or unload trucks. Such was the case the other day in loading a giant spool. A piece of pipe with a flange attached to the end or both ends. In this case, 36 inch diameter pipe, one flange, cement lined, asphaltic coated steel type of pipe. Around 4,000 pounds - conservative guess. I can look it up on our system, but you get the point: very heavy.
So, he puts the spool down on the boards on the trailer, but what I couldn't see and didn't know was that he had the forks tilted forward. Ideally, with an object that large that also rolls, you attempt to get your forks level and set it down gently. If it begins rolling, then you simply tilt the forks in the opposite direction.
Well, the spool begins rolling - right at me. I grabbed a hold of it in an attempt to stop the thing from rolling right off the side of the truck, which would have destroyed it (we're talking between 10 and 15 grand for this thing). I was pushing with all my might, my right hand was getting gouged by the sharp corner on the flange on the spool (didn't realize it at the time, adrenaline pumping type of thing) and I was preparing myself to jump out of the way of the thing.
But, I managed to get the momentum of the thing stopped and got the spool to stop rolling. It was then that I realized he had the forks tilted forward and STILL had them tilted forward. It took all that is within me to not start cussing the man out and give him an education on forklift operation at the same time. Instead, I didn't say anything, he let the thing down off the forks and then there was no pressure.
Only then did I also realize that my right thumb had a deep gouge in it, bleeding and it appeared the meat inside the thumb had been smashed to the side of where the metal was pushing against it.
Although I was in no danger - well I was and wasn't - I was quite ready to jump off the side of that truck and out of harm's way - I don't think I will ever do anything like that again. They can have THEIR people up on the truck and attempt to stop a giant, rolling object that is gaining momentum and hard to stop and see how they like it. If it were me operating that forklift, the situation would not have evolved into what it did.
As for today, I rented via pay-per-view on Direct TV the movie Taken 2 with Liam Neesom. I read the "critic's" reviews. The ones I read gave it such a low rating that I pretty much figured I would like the movie since I loved the first one and I wasn't wrong about that. Yes, there are some very unrealistic scenes in the movie, I'll give the critics that much. But what action movie doesn't? Take those with a grain of salt. Lots of interruptions, though, with people traipsing in and out of the kitchen - making a lot of noise and so, I am going to watch it again. I have much of nothing to do today, one more weekend I have decided to take to try and get completely beyond this illness that had beset me.
And - after taking a long break from writing this entry, yet it is still raining outside. Absolutely gorgeous weather. I had windows and doors opened, but closed them because it was getting quite cool in here.
As for the fast, still on it. Meatless Daniel fast. I'm figuring that by the time sundown of 2 Sundays from now gets here, I will be ready for a fat, juicy steak and all the trimmings. Or a delicious, thick burger. In the meantime, praying and seeking the Lord. The prayer meeting last night was very good.
Enough.
Friday, January 25, 2013
A few sniffles left, a clearing of the throat here and there, an occasional coughing bout in the middle of the night, that's what's left of this coughing cold. I now hear there is a stomach virus going around and please, Lord, keep me away from that one! I have had TWO already, I don't WANT a third!
It's raining. A nice little sprinkling. Okay, I prefer a heavy, hard raining/drizzling, but around these parts, I'll take what we get and be happy and content with it. The rain forecast came out of the blue, since the forecasters hadn't said anything about rain until the night before it started. Lol, the life of a weather forecaster. I think they have a bulls eye target and they throw arrows at the target. Whatever word for weather it lands on, that's what the forecast is.
I found out yesterday that I am getting the Safe Driver Award. That's 2 weeks worth of pay for - free. I'll take it. It will be nice to have a buffer once again for any problems that come up.
Prayer meeting tonight. I came home from work incredibly tired. I had no choice, literally, but to go to the bedroom and take a long nap. I would have fallen asleep out here, at my desktop in the kitchen, had I not. I was that tired. Just not sleeping well since I got sick. Well, I haven't really been sleeping well for 8 years, but that's another story. It's been even worse since these 2 viruses I contracted, one ending and then another starting a week later. Hopefully my sleep will return to me soon. Regardless, I can sleep in tomorrow if need be.
Oh, the prayer meeting - well I'm definitely going. I need it.
My 4 version Bible came today. I looked on Ebay to track it, it said it was going out for delivery today. Yes, and it's RAINING out there. I ran outside to find the package had been chucked under a bush in the front yard. Geeze. Well I got it in time, the box was drenched but the bible was wrapped in plastic and the inside of the box was still dry enough that, coupled with the plastic, the Bible was intact without any water damage. It has 4 version of the Bible on each page, side by side. It is in fine print, the only real bad part about it - meaning having to use reading glasses to read it. It is almost 3 inches thick! So home use only, but I expected that anyway, I need to get another one to carry with me.
Well, time to take a read in the new Bible and then head off to church.
G'day.
ben
It's raining. A nice little sprinkling. Okay, I prefer a heavy, hard raining/drizzling, but around these parts, I'll take what we get and be happy and content with it. The rain forecast came out of the blue, since the forecasters hadn't said anything about rain until the night before it started. Lol, the life of a weather forecaster. I think they have a bulls eye target and they throw arrows at the target. Whatever word for weather it lands on, that's what the forecast is.
I found out yesterday that I am getting the Safe Driver Award. That's 2 weeks worth of pay for - free. I'll take it. It will be nice to have a buffer once again for any problems that come up.
Prayer meeting tonight. I came home from work incredibly tired. I had no choice, literally, but to go to the bedroom and take a long nap. I would have fallen asleep out here, at my desktop in the kitchen, had I not. I was that tired. Just not sleeping well since I got sick. Well, I haven't really been sleeping well for 8 years, but that's another story. It's been even worse since these 2 viruses I contracted, one ending and then another starting a week later. Hopefully my sleep will return to me soon. Regardless, I can sleep in tomorrow if need be.
Oh, the prayer meeting - well I'm definitely going. I need it.
My 4 version Bible came today. I looked on Ebay to track it, it said it was going out for delivery today. Yes, and it's RAINING out there. I ran outside to find the package had been chucked under a bush in the front yard. Geeze. Well I got it in time, the box was drenched but the bible was wrapped in plastic and the inside of the box was still dry enough that, coupled with the plastic, the Bible was intact without any water damage. It has 4 version of the Bible on each page, side by side. It is in fine print, the only real bad part about it - meaning having to use reading glasses to read it. It is almost 3 inches thick! So home use only, but I expected that anyway, I need to get another one to carry with me.
Well, time to take a read in the new Bible and then head off to church.
G'day.
ben
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
First off, the Daily Grind:
I am feeling MUCH better today! Yeeeehaww! Yesterday I was a coughing machine, relentless, on-going all day long. Last night I put the humidifier on in my bedroom and after it drained out the entire water reservoir I filled it up again. This morning? Hardly coughing at all and starting to feel better.
Work - is work. It has it's interesting points, but that because I am not chained down to a desk all day long, I am outside working or in the truck driving. It kind of reinforces the idea that an inside sales position and I? Probably not a good mix. Outside sales would be awesome, but - you have to go through the inside thing first to get that kind of promotion.
Now onto more important matters, namely, the Daniel fast that I am on. It's been 10 days since I have had any meat and up to this point, it has hardly been a "chore" at all. I don't dream of hamburgers and steaks all day long, those thoughts don't even occupy my mind at all. I get hungry, I just eat what I am allowed to eat on this fast and that's that.
But the real stuff is in the prayer and the denial of self. There are other things that I am engaging in for this fast that are also having a real effect. I so much feel that I have simply squandered away my days since I got divorced, hiding in my cave, becoming almost hermit-like in recusing myself from ministry and simply leading a life that is not fit for the calling that God has upon my life. Not that I am anything special, but I know there is so much more that I am supposed to be doing for the Lord. I have no good excuses, just lame ones.
But even now, I remember a word I got after I got divorced and had this feeling that God wanted nothing to do with me in terms of ministry, a word that has been sitting on a dust-filled shelf in my memory banks that just suddenly came out today: You are NOT disqualified from ministry! The word disqualification had been churning over and over in my mind, but I spoke nothing of it to anyone. A woman of God from an online ministry wrote to me one day on her internet site and proclaimed those and many more words from the Lord that I had been thinking over and over. The word she gave me was so precise, accurate and directly aimed at what I was then-experiencing, there is no way I could adjudge that as anything else but from the mouth of the Lord Himself.
Yet, I wandered off that path and basically did nothing. Work, that was it. I did look for a church a few times and started attending one but ended up leaving and then attending another one - which I also left. The pastor was a nice man and all, but I couldn't help but think this guy really was well out of his calling. Only when Caleb came alive in the Lord did I come to grips with reality and come to terms that my life had drifted far away from what I was and am supposed to be doing in and for the Lord.
I couldn't possibly sit here and tell you what, or perhaps more to the point: where I should be at right now in terms of ministry, but I can say that the starting point, at least for me and for now, will be through the church I am going to. They have been very patient with me as I have worked to deal with the issues that life offers - which usually are not all that pleasant thank you - but I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Ask me about that light last year and I would have told you I still only see darkness, no where near the end.
Okay, backtracking a bit: I did do some things that I have always felt the Lord wants me to do during these years after the divorce. I have given large quantities of food to hungry families. I have helped people keep their lights on - easy to do if a person has a M-Power card, you don't give them the money you simply put it on their card. Jesus simply said to feed the hungry, that's something, at least, that I have kept doing throughout this time.
Well, anyway, this fast is having a serious effect that I did not expect in renewing my desire to get back into some form of ministry - whether in the church or not - and also simply digging into the Word and trying to keep my mind stayed on the Lord all day long. Can't say that is happening 24 hours a day, but certainly I'm feeling better about myself in this regard.
On a slightly different topic, I won an Ebay auction a few days ago for a Bible that has 4 different versions of the Bible side-by-side. A great study Bible, you can read the same scripture in 4 different versions and get a much fuller perspective of what is actually being said - and imparted. I don't actually HAVE the Bible yet, paid for it but don't expect to receive it for another week or so. I am far more confident using Ebay these days because of their "Buyer Protection" plan. If you don't receive an item you paid for, you WILL get your money back as long as the auction says that the purchase is covered by that plan. Or if the item received is not what was listed in the auction (which happened to me last year when I bought a pond filter and it turned out to be something completely different and worth far less in value than what was advertised: I eventually got my money refunded to me). Ebay didn't use to have that protection and it was a gamble every time you bought something.
Well, that's it for now. It's time to go to bed. Worked an 11-1/2 hour day today and I am bushed.
G'nite.
ben
I am feeling MUCH better today! Yeeeehaww! Yesterday I was a coughing machine, relentless, on-going all day long. Last night I put the humidifier on in my bedroom and after it drained out the entire water reservoir I filled it up again. This morning? Hardly coughing at all and starting to feel better.
Work - is work. It has it's interesting points, but that because I am not chained down to a desk all day long, I am outside working or in the truck driving. It kind of reinforces the idea that an inside sales position and I? Probably not a good mix. Outside sales would be awesome, but - you have to go through the inside thing first to get that kind of promotion.
Now onto more important matters, namely, the Daniel fast that I am on. It's been 10 days since I have had any meat and up to this point, it has hardly been a "chore" at all. I don't dream of hamburgers and steaks all day long, those thoughts don't even occupy my mind at all. I get hungry, I just eat what I am allowed to eat on this fast and that's that.
But the real stuff is in the prayer and the denial of self. There are other things that I am engaging in for this fast that are also having a real effect. I so much feel that I have simply squandered away my days since I got divorced, hiding in my cave, becoming almost hermit-like in recusing myself from ministry and simply leading a life that is not fit for the calling that God has upon my life. Not that I am anything special, but I know there is so much more that I am supposed to be doing for the Lord. I have no good excuses, just lame ones.
But even now, I remember a word I got after I got divorced and had this feeling that God wanted nothing to do with me in terms of ministry, a word that has been sitting on a dust-filled shelf in my memory banks that just suddenly came out today: You are NOT disqualified from ministry! The word disqualification had been churning over and over in my mind, but I spoke nothing of it to anyone. A woman of God from an online ministry wrote to me one day on her internet site and proclaimed those and many more words from the Lord that I had been thinking over and over. The word she gave me was so precise, accurate and directly aimed at what I was then-experiencing, there is no way I could adjudge that as anything else but from the mouth of the Lord Himself.
Yet, I wandered off that path and basically did nothing. Work, that was it. I did look for a church a few times and started attending one but ended up leaving and then attending another one - which I also left. The pastor was a nice man and all, but I couldn't help but think this guy really was well out of his calling. Only when Caleb came alive in the Lord did I come to grips with reality and come to terms that my life had drifted far away from what I was and am supposed to be doing in and for the Lord.
I couldn't possibly sit here and tell you what, or perhaps more to the point: where I should be at right now in terms of ministry, but I can say that the starting point, at least for me and for now, will be through the church I am going to. They have been very patient with me as I have worked to deal with the issues that life offers - which usually are not all that pleasant thank you - but I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Ask me about that light last year and I would have told you I still only see darkness, no where near the end.
Okay, backtracking a bit: I did do some things that I have always felt the Lord wants me to do during these years after the divorce. I have given large quantities of food to hungry families. I have helped people keep their lights on - easy to do if a person has a M-Power card, you don't give them the money you simply put it on their card. Jesus simply said to feed the hungry, that's something, at least, that I have kept doing throughout this time.
Well, anyway, this fast is having a serious effect that I did not expect in renewing my desire to get back into some form of ministry - whether in the church or not - and also simply digging into the Word and trying to keep my mind stayed on the Lord all day long. Can't say that is happening 24 hours a day, but certainly I'm feeling better about myself in this regard.
On a slightly different topic, I won an Ebay auction a few days ago for a Bible that has 4 different versions of the Bible side-by-side. A great study Bible, you can read the same scripture in 4 different versions and get a much fuller perspective of what is actually being said - and imparted. I don't actually HAVE the Bible yet, paid for it but don't expect to receive it for another week or so. I am far more confident using Ebay these days because of their "Buyer Protection" plan. If you don't receive an item you paid for, you WILL get your money back as long as the auction says that the purchase is covered by that plan. Or if the item received is not what was listed in the auction (which happened to me last year when I bought a pond filter and it turned out to be something completely different and worth far less in value than what was advertised: I eventually got my money refunded to me). Ebay didn't use to have that protection and it was a gamble every time you bought something.
Well, that's it for now. It's time to go to bed. Worked an 11-1/2 hour day today and I am bushed.
G'nite.
ben
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
A trip to the doctor yesterday resulted in not much of anything. They claimed it is still viral and not bronchitis. Offered me cough medicine with codeine. All nice and fine, but I can't take that stuff during the week. Even with a prescription, it simply isn't a risk I'm willing to take at work having had taken it the night before. Certainly, I couldn't use it while working. And anyways, I am running a humidifier at night which fairly well reduces and for periods of time eliminates the otherwise constant coughing.
So, grin and bear it. As it stands, there is a prayer meeting tonight - which I won't be attending since it started 5 minutes ago and I am heading to my bedroom in a few minutes to crank up the humidifier and get my lungs feeling "good" again.
The doctor informed me to come back in 3 days if I am not getting better by then. Hardly. I'll wait up to a week - at least - before going back. I have too much of a lifelong history of bronchitis, a condition I would like to completely avoid at this point in time, but if it happens, I will be asking the doc for a steroid injection.
More? Sure, but I don't have time for it now. I'm heading off to the bedroom.
ben
So, grin and bear it. As it stands, there is a prayer meeting tonight - which I won't be attending since it started 5 minutes ago and I am heading to my bedroom in a few minutes to crank up the humidifier and get my lungs feeling "good" again.
The doctor informed me to come back in 3 days if I am not getting better by then. Hardly. I'll wait up to a week - at least - before going back. I have too much of a lifelong history of bronchitis, a condition I would like to completely avoid at this point in time, but if it happens, I will be asking the doc for a steroid injection.
More? Sure, but I don't have time for it now. I'm heading off to the bedroom.
ben
Sunday, January 20, 2013
I don't know what came at me - a resurgence of the flu or just a head cold, but whatever it is, it's pretty much unbearable. It's easy enough, I guess, to lay in bed and do nothing. But, to go to work and be productive, a different story altogether. Friday, I left work at around 12:30 pm - 6-1/2 hours of work and all I could handle. My manager was home with his daughter, who has strep throat. The operations manager simply told me to leave, it was obvious to anyone that I wasn't feeling well and that I wasn't really doing that well, even though I was working.
I have no idea about tomorrow. I forced myself out of bed this morning, at 8:00 am which is wayyyyyyy later rise-time for me than normal, took a shower and got ready for church. I wanted to go in for prayer if nothing else. I ended up staying for the entire service and getting prayer at the end.
Well whatever. I believe in prayer, the ability of believers to pray for each other for people to get well and that I stand on. I am feeling better, but certainly not anything near 100%.
This is day 7 over the 21 day Daniel fast and surprisingly to me, I have not missed meat at all. I did not know the selection of meatless foods that are available.
It's very nice outside - much different than the temps last week - the temp is 72 degrees outside but standing in the sun it's much warmer. Pond temps have risen a good 12 degrees since last week, an encouraging sign as I don't necessarily think 40 plus degree temps in the water are all that good for them. The dogs - will spending quality time back outdoors now that morning temps are back up in the bearable range.
Done. Intend on going to bed very much early today.
I have no idea about tomorrow. I forced myself out of bed this morning, at 8:00 am which is wayyyyyyy later rise-time for me than normal, took a shower and got ready for church. I wanted to go in for prayer if nothing else. I ended up staying for the entire service and getting prayer at the end.
Well whatever. I believe in prayer, the ability of believers to pray for each other for people to get well and that I stand on. I am feeling better, but certainly not anything near 100%.
This is day 7 over the 21 day Daniel fast and surprisingly to me, I have not missed meat at all. I did not know the selection of meatless foods that are available.
It's very nice outside - much different than the temps last week - the temp is 72 degrees outside but standing in the sun it's much warmer. Pond temps have risen a good 12 degrees since last week, an encouraging sign as I don't necessarily think 40 plus degree temps in the water are all that good for them. The dogs - will spending quality time back outdoors now that morning temps are back up in the bearable range.
Done. Intend on going to bed very much early today.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Friday.
I have a full blown head cold with chest congestion.
Yuck.
Worse is my manager is out again today, so operations manager is in taking his place. Not that that's bad, but I want to get out of there as early as possible. We'll see. I foresee another weekend at home, laying around, attempting to recover as I was a few weeks ago with that flu junk that is going around.
ben
I have a full blown head cold with chest congestion.
Yuck.
Worse is my manager is out again today, so operations manager is in taking his place. Not that that's bad, but I want to get out of there as early as possible. We'll see. I foresee another weekend at home, laying around, attempting to recover as I was a few weeks ago with that flu junk that is going around.
ben
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
The damage is done.
I didn't really figure that going through a 25 degree night would end up with no damage to my plants, but I was hoping that it would be minimal - for whatever reason I don't know, just hope.
So it is, actually. We had a frost go through here 3 years ago that wasn't near as bad as what we just went through and that almost killed a large number of my plants. In this case, yes, some serious damage, but given enough time they will come back. Well, excepting the small ficus trees. several of them 2 to 3 feet tall have all their leaves dying, which isn't a good sign. The 2 large ones - well, one that had more exposure, the entire top of it is damaged and will die. The other one has a much taller tree hanging over it and it didn't experience any damage at all, that I could see.
The front yard had some hits as well, but nothing I don't think that can't come back, eventually, come Spring and new life.
Fasting and praying. I haven't had meat since Sunday afternoon but strangely enough, at least so far, I haven't really missed it that much. It is noticeable, however, that you don't get the full feeling of eating vegetables and such that you do after eating pretty much any meal that includes a portion of meat in it. I started dieting at the beginning of the year, but with this meatless diet I am now almost 7 pounds lighter. I have read and heard that eliminating meat out of your system for a while definitely helps your body to cleanse itself and also to lose weight. I'm eating more oatmeal than anything.
Well, enough for one day.
ben
I didn't really figure that going through a 25 degree night would end up with no damage to my plants, but I was hoping that it would be minimal - for whatever reason I don't know, just hope.
So it is, actually. We had a frost go through here 3 years ago that wasn't near as bad as what we just went through and that almost killed a large number of my plants. In this case, yes, some serious damage, but given enough time they will come back. Well, excepting the small ficus trees. several of them 2 to 3 feet tall have all their leaves dying, which isn't a good sign. The 2 large ones - well, one that had more exposure, the entire top of it is damaged and will die. The other one has a much taller tree hanging over it and it didn't experience any damage at all, that I could see.
The front yard had some hits as well, but nothing I don't think that can't come back, eventually, come Spring and new life.
Fasting and praying. I haven't had meat since Sunday afternoon but strangely enough, at least so far, I haven't really missed it that much. It is noticeable, however, that you don't get the full feeling of eating vegetables and such that you do after eating pretty much any meal that includes a portion of meat in it. I started dieting at the beginning of the year, but with this meatless diet I am now almost 7 pounds lighter. I have read and heard that eliminating meat out of your system for a while definitely helps your body to cleanse itself and also to lose weight. I'm eating more oatmeal than anything.
Well, enough for one day.
ben
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