Attempting to face the reality that I am going to have to drive up north this weekend and deal with the RV and drain out the water system.  I just don't want to go up there because I have other things I would really like to get done this weekend - selah.

So, hopefully head up Friday, stay overnight and come back Saturday?  I dunno yet.  Probably, though.  I want to hit church on Sunday morning and it's easier to get back the day before for that than to get up early on Sunday and attempt to make it home in time to get the dogs out, get showered, dressed and there on time.

Facing yet another tenant leaving - and this guy has been good about paying his rent and really, hasn't been here that much since he moved in - I don't know how long ago, maybe 4 or 5 months. He's headed back to Atlanta and I am headed back into the waters of attempting to find a decent person to take his place.

But, I have been preoccupied and I must find time to get these things done, lol.  I gotta have that income.
Anyway, just a short blip, on the way out the door for another day of work.

G'day.

ben

What do you do with a weekend where you are intentionally trying to not exert energy so that you can get better?
Sit and here be driven half mad by people walking in and out and in and out.
I've had bronchitis too many times to remember in my life time, if there is one thing I remember about getting over it: DO NOT EXERT.  Do as little as possible until it passes.  I have had it last up to 3 months because I just wouldn't stop.  Well screw that, I don't want to be sick for months and I am doing what I can to get past this.

It does seem as though I am getting better, though, less coughing and stuff coming up, good signs I think.

But I do have things I want to get done today.  Haircut is really needed.  Would like to get a few new shirts maybe some casual slack type of wear.  I really like to go out and eat once a month or so and my favorite place to do that is Applebee's, just a couple miles down the road.
______________________________

Long interlude.  HAD to get out of the house!  Went to a clothing store and bought a couple of nice shirts - I am going to dress up for the flight to Texas, I don't believe in getting on an airplane looking and smelling like a slob.  Went to Great Clips and got a really good haircut :)  Not to mention a really nice hair stylist, lol.  I can talk forever with those people.  Then I get a phone call from home - can you pick up Mountain Dew.  Whatever.  Over to Applebee's, waiting for my ---- nix ----lunch just showed up. I actually come here not only for the food but there is a really cool bartender that I just get along with.   No, nothing there, she's married we just click is all.  I am not getting drunk, either, you can sit at the bar and have dinner without drinking.

Next, stop at the grocery store, pick some stuff up - my refrigerator is empty and my cupboards are getting bare after having a tenant - who asked to help for unknown reasons - and threw out a bunch of stuff out of date.  Which didn't bother me, I will just go get more and get the reserves built back up.

2 weeks to the day til' I head out to Texas.  She doesn't want to text anymore, lol, she just wants to talk on the phone, which is cool excepting where I can't call her and then I want to text her!  We cannot get enough of each other, even after talking on the phone, FB messaging, texting all day long.  I went to bed last night with the sound of her voice in my ears.  The only thing that could possibly be better if she was here with me.

Give it time.  Give it a visit to Texas - though at this point I am not concerned how that is going to turn out.  If it really turned out bad for whatever reason, I would be shockingly surprised.  If you think the talk about a woman in Texas is going to change for any reason, anytime soon, prolly think again, lol.  Her kids found me on FB - she has been trying to keep this from them but one of them looked over her shoulder while we were talking on FB, saw my name, told her older brother who then frantically started looking for me on FB - not hard to find me if you have my name - and then the next thing I knew?

I had an FB message from him.  Lol.  You want to talk about a kid looking for male attention that hasn't had that in his life.  He's asking me questions and then gives me his stamp of approval and then really blew me away - cause' this wasn't a long, extended conversation - we're talking a teenager here with a girlfriend - says: "BTW, I love you!"

That wasn't gay stuff, that's coming from a person who is starving for attention from male attention.  I get that, but it was very surprising to hear that from him. He doesn't even know me and goes from a conversation of what he likes to do to that.

Well, anyway.  I better get out of here, get to the grocery store and get on the phone! Last night's conversation? LOL, 3 hours and 32 seconds!

G'day

ben

Haven't posted anything since Saturday because I have been sick.
I trudged myself into the doc's office on Tuesday to find out that I have
bronchitis.
Longest doc visit I've had in quite some time, because first they wanted me to do
tests to see - whatever, how much air getting down into the lungs - and then after
they determined it was  bronchitis,  breathing treatment, then another test, then
a cocktail of drugs for a prescription.

I am finally, I think, starting to feel better.
This stuff has just zapped my energy and when I am like that, writing in a blog
or doing much of anything else for that matter goes by the way side.

I haven't even been talking to her on the phone until today.
Of course we talk endlessly doing the texting routine or messaging
on facebook - up to 12,000 messages, lol, just on fb alone!

I've also tried to get off work early every day but not working out.
Finally, business is picking up again, just not the greatest week for that
to happen!

Met up with the ex at a mail place today and we sent out a package to our
son.  A bunch of knick knacks and stuff that I got at Walmart plus a book
of stamps so he can write to those that supported him - wanted the stamps, lol,
not coming from a nagging parent wanting him to write! Thou getting an occasional
letter from him would be cool.

Well, it's past midnight, just woke up like I always do, decided to hammer out a few
words here, maybe make me sleepy enough to get back to sleep.

Yes, definitely getting sleep again! It's Friday, one more work day and then I can
spend the weekend doing  much of nothing so I can try and get better!

ben

I finally started weight training again this week.
The temps have come down enough that there are no more excuses.
What happens when you let a lot of time pass and then start over again?
You can't lift near as much as you used to!
No wonder my chest was getting flabby!
Give it a few months, that should begin to reverse itself.

Actually, you begin to see results relatively quickly, but anything noticeable takes more time than that.

The misses has worse sleeping issues than I do, which is amazing in itself.
She is also a light sleeper, but apparently doesn't embrace the idea of white noise, such as having a fan running or using ear plugs.  Well I am going to start talking her into it.

Anyway, I am going to pay tomorrow for the workout today, I can already tell that!  My chest and arm muscles will probably be sore!

As for today: I really do NOT want to spend 2 more hours walking around handing out flyers today, but the time to leave to go do it is fast approaching and I will have to make up my mind within the next half hour.  Arrrrgh.  Not that there's anything worthy staying home for.......

G'day.

ben

This is all uncharted territory for me.
Regardless, I found my hotel accommodations for cheap in a newer hotel.
I do hope the place isn't a dive, but the pics at least make it look like it's a decent place.
I'll find that out in a little over 3 weeks.
They give extended stay pricing when staying 7 or more days, which brings the price WAY down.

So, it's Friday.
Bonus showed up in my bank account.
As expected, the Federal Government took out a whopping $600 of it.  Pretty good for an entity that is shutting itself down.  It's a bit disappointing to see them take that much out of it, did they work for that money? How did it come about that the Feds get to take a whopping 40% of a bonus that I worked my @$$ off to get?

I want to find out when that particular piece of s*** was instituted, who did it and what excuse they came up with to take that large of a chunk of a person's check.

Weekend is almost here, I only had planned to go out and hand out flyers with the rest of everyone else tomorrow, but if pink eye is still an issue, I won't go.  Yes, I have pink eye and everyone knows it's highly contagious and I don't want to be around other people and their kids and potentially pass it on.  Not sure about that one yet.

I am going to go to a few garage sales and see if I can find a larger suitcase.  I don't travel much anymore and I do not have a large suitcase.  I don't want to spend a small fortune on a piece of luggage that may or may not get much use, who knows.  What I do know is that the small suitcase I have is not large enough for a week's worth of clothing!

Today and by now already started or they are heading that way, is the trucker shut down of the D.C. loop.  It's an interesting idea, but the reality of it is - truckers, stay home for a week.  All of us.  Call in sick, do whatever, just stay home.  Turn off the trucks, that will do more than just get attention.

Whatever, enough.
The lady isn't feeling well this morning, she only got 3 hours of sleep last night, so she's not too talkative, at least this early, lol.

G'day

ben

I never understood people that were "hopelessly" lost in love.  Not that I didn't think it was cool, or wonderful, I just couldn't relate.

I am hopelessly lost in a land of love that I have never known before.  I don't even understand it, it is beyond the mind.  Analytic thinking serves no purpose.  I can only think of her. She consumes my mind all day long.  When I wake up at night - which I always do - she is the first thing that comes to my mind. When I wake up in the morning. On the way to work. At work.  When people are talking to me.

I can never remember a time loving anyone like this.  Only when I found the Lord and still love Him, but that is a different love and on a much different level - though greater, yes.  God first.  

She is so beautiful and lovely.  Intelligent and motivated.

I am lost.

So, my next-door-neighbor returned yesterday from Michigan.
One of my tenants was out there showing him the video I took of his neighbor on the other side installing the fence parts on the already installed posts that have been sitting there like that for - a couple of years now I think.
I went over and visited with him for quite a while.  I will not go into specifics of that conversation since this blog is not limited to anyone finding it and if that creep that lives next door to him has found it, well, you won't get any information here.  But the conversation eventually steered off of that situation and onto other things, such his property up north of which he has plenty of photos of, pretty remarkable and beautiful place.

Time will tell what will become of the situation with that war and the fence and the stolen property.  Even the Bible, in the Old Testament, has some pretty strong language about neighbors moving property lines and/or attempting to take land from their neighbors.  I'll have to find the specific scripture to refresh my memory.

14 “You must not move the stones that mark your neighbor’s property. People put them there in the past to mark each person’s property. These stones mark the land that the Lord your God gave you.

That's one of the scriptures but not the one I was thinking of.  Maybe look it up later.  

As for the lady, well, we haven't backed off from each other one iota.  It only continues to intensify as the days pass.  But I still have this "guard" up until I meet her in person.  I don't want a huge letdown if that is even possible, but it is possible and anything can happen.  

I am not going to go too far with this entry today, my keyboard is messing up for some reason.  Time to replace it. It stops working, then starts, then stops, gotta get a new one.

G'day.

ben

Sunday.
We talked via FB messages all day long yesterday.
Excepting the 1-1/2 hour time with my pastor at Smashburger.
I do love Smashburger!!
But I wanted to submit all of this going on to him for prayer and godly counsel.
Because the lady and I are both Christians, we had already set some pretty distinct
boundaries in terms of where conversations can go and such, so everything I told pastor
didn't raise any alarm bells with him.
It was a good meeting and in the end - bypassing a lot of conversation going back and forth -
he said he would discuss with his wife and they would "bathe this in prayer".

That's a good thing.  It's amazing how busy pastors stay all week long!  I think his day off is Monday.

Anyway, pastor asked if we were planning on meeting - encouraging it actually - because you don't really know if 2 people have that spark until they actually meet in person.  So yes, I have purchased the airfare.  I spent days looking around for the cheapest I could find and finally found a flight that goes through Houston instead of Dallas and saves a lot of money in doing so.  Almost 3 hour layover in Houston, though.  Oh well.  Then a short flight to a small airfield one town away from where she lives.  I was going to catch a bus for the rest of the trip but she said she would come get me since it isn't that far away.

I should have bought the insurance, but it forces me to go, lol.  The date for the days off are on the work calendar and so it's a go.  I asked her somewhat pointedly yesterday if she really was ready for me to come out, cause' honey, I'm buying the tickets and there's no turning back after that.

Onto other things.  Such as Safe Driver Award bonus.  I have to make it until January to get it.  That means no tickets, no warnings from ADOT or other police agencies and that also means attempting to make it just short of 3 more months to get it.  Never any guarantees.  I have been eye-balled in the semi numerous times by ADOT officers sitting on the side of the freeways, looking for their next victim.  You see them looking at you and then you start to get nervous.  The thing that might save me is that I am driving a brand new tractor and yes, it looks brand new.  It's clean, it's shiny and it is obviously not 10 years old.  The mal factor in this is that our company has a bad rating in the CSA system so ADOT officers are inclined to pull over any of our trucks that they see.

Well whatever.  I'm not stressing over it.  Haven't been pulled over in the semi in 3 years as of November.

My current dilemma:  I gotta get back into the habit of using cologne!  Ha.  I don't smell bad, take showers every day and all that, don't get me wrong, but I am going to want to put on something that smells good when I go to see her.  I haven't used cologne in so long, I don't even know where to begin!  I, uhhhh, go to a store somewhere I guess that sells it and ask for opinions on what smells good on a man.

I haven't comment on the politics of the day because it's absurd, outrageous and a carnival-like atmosphere, as far as I'm concerned, concerning what's going on in Washington.  The continual blame-shifting game coming from all of them is juvenile at best.  But some of the specific verbiage coming from Reid and his ilk is just unbelievable.  Jihad? Terrorists? Arsonists? Blackmailers? Running around with bombs strapped to their chests? Reid calling them anarchists and monkey-wrenchers and even much more.  The Democratic Senate and Obama and the democrats in the HOR apparently believe that the GOP is somehow constrained and obliged to bow to their demands.  There is a reason that the government is broken up in to 3 branches and there is a reason there are 2 parts to Congress with each part having it's own leadership and who is in control  being totally dependent on what party has the majority.

That's it.  Grow up.  If these people want to go around talking that kind of trash, let them do so from a different position in life because even in politics, that kind of crap talk is completely unacceptable as sitting Senators and Representatives who are allegedly "running" this nation.

And with that, I will end this one cause' I have to take a shower and myself ready for church.

Happy Sunday.

ben

You didn't think you'd read anything different today, did you?
LOL
It's the same scenario being played out every day now!
Thursday.  Already.  And a lot to do at work this morning, which for me is a really good thing.  We have been so slow.
Finally found out yesterday that yes, indeed, we will be allowed to crank up the speed on the new truck.  About time.  Not only that, but when we have the speed settings changed, I am also going to have the power settings upped. That truck has a sticker on it saying up to 500 horsepower on the engine, there is no WAY that engine's settings are anything close to that.

I am thinking about going up north this weekend, I haven't been up there in a while, but only thinking about it.  I'll be making a trip up there soon enough.

Time to be off to work!

G'day
ben

So, we graduated Facebook school and moved on to the first phone call yesterday.
I haven't talked that long with anyone on the planet in at least 10, maybe 15 years.
We were steaming full steam ahead until we got to this issue she has was passive men.
She likes and assertive man and is not into passivity at all.
No-one that knows me would call any portion of my existence to be passive, at all.
But who knows?
She wasn't saying I am passive she was simply telling it like it is as far as her preference.
I - don't know.  I simply do not consider myself  a passive person, I know what she is talking about
and that simply does not describe me, at all.
But, who knows.
Well, I got up late this morning cause I stayed up late talking to her, so, cut this one short.

G'day

ben

Going through the complexities in my mind of what it would take to up and haul off, leave Phoenix, Arizona behind and start a life in a different place.
That's called a lot of stuff to do if it gets that far.
So much so, in fact, that I stopped my mind from going there.  House, dogs, ponds, car, job, houseful of stuff to get rid of or just continue to rent out rooms with the older couple in charge - I have started down that road in the thought processes, but had to put the brakes on.

What if this wasn't meant to be?  Lots of questions swirling around in my mind about all of this.  The confirmation from the Lord is what I really seek and until I get that, well, I will let this relationship go where it will, but any plans to actually move there or re-marry will be sitting there, waiting for the arrival of that confirmation.  I don't really know the Lord's will in any of this and that I must know.  Confirmation can come in many forms.  Usually it is more than one "thing" or "event" or words spoken by someone.  I'm praying towards that end.

However, I am still going to pursue this until it either bears fruit - which in the end would be marriage - or the train runs out of diesel and stops in it's tracks.  To that end, I have found some pretty cheap airfare to DFW and then a Greyhound bus for the 3 hour ride or however long it is to her place in eastern Texas, not far from the state line.  In fact, Spirit Airlines runs out of AZA, is probably something like Southwest Airlines in otherwise being known as the cattle carrier airline - herd em' in there and pack em' in like sardines - but it's less than 3 hour flight, I can deal with that to get a $196 round trip ticket!  That's right, 200 bucks round trip to DFW and the Greyhound is $52 round trip as well.  I was knocking my brains out trying to find a cheap flight into her town or one near it, including SHV, and though I found lower priced bookings, nothing in the range that I was looking for.

I truly hate and despise Greyhound buses.  Not because it's a bad busline or something, but because of all the noise and usually kids screaming and making all kinds of noise. But I learned a long time ago how to deal with it - I have taken a LOT of Greyhound bus trips my lifetime: get out the earplugs and go to sleep.  Wake up every 30 to 60 minutes, look around, note that the nightmare continues on, and go back to sleep.  If I don't do that, I tend to start feeling like I am going to go insane.  Heck, some flights I have taken haven't been all that great, either, especially the time sitting next to a man that was somewhere between 350 and 400 pounds.  This was before they started charging extra heavy people 2 seats worth of airfare.  This guy's blubber was all over my left arm and he was also sweating.

It was pretty gross.

Well, I'm going to have to finish this one later, looking up at the clock? It's time to leave for work!

G'day.
ben