First off, the Daily Grind:
I am feeling MUCH better today! Yeeeehaww!  Yesterday I was a coughing machine, relentless, on-going all day long. Last night I put the humidifier on in my bedroom and after it drained out the entire water reservoir I filled it up again.  This morning?  Hardly coughing at all and starting to  feel better.

Work - is work.  It has it's interesting points, but that because I am not chained down to a desk all day long, I am outside working or in the truck driving.  It kind of reinforces the idea that an inside sales position and I?  Probably not a good mix.  Outside sales would be awesome, but - you have to go through the inside thing first to get that kind of promotion.

Now onto more important matters, namely, the Daniel fast that I am on.  It's been 10 days since I have had any meat and up to this point, it has hardly been a "chore" at all.  I don't dream of hamburgers and steaks all day long, those thoughts don't even occupy my mind at all. I get hungry, I just eat what I am allowed to eat on this fast and that's that.

But the real stuff is in the prayer and the denial of self.  There are other things that I am engaging in for this fast  that are also having a real effect.  I so much feel that I have simply squandered away my days since I got divorced, hiding in my cave, becoming almost hermit-like in recusing myself from ministry and simply leading a life that is not fit for the calling that God has upon my life.  Not that I am anything special, but I know there is so much more that I am supposed to be doing for the Lord.  I have no good excuses, just lame ones.

But even now, I remember a word I got after I got divorced and had this feeling that God wanted nothing to do with me in terms of ministry, a word that has been sitting on a dust-filled shelf in my memory banks that just suddenly came out today:  You are NOT disqualified from ministry!  The word disqualification had been churning over and over in my mind, but I spoke nothing of it to anyone.  A woman of God from an online ministry wrote to me one day on her internet site and proclaimed those and many more words from the Lord that I had been thinking over and over.  The word she gave me was so precise, accurate and directly aimed at what I was then-experiencing, there is no way I could adjudge that as anything else but from the mouth of the Lord Himself.

Yet, I wandered off that path and basically did nothing.  Work, that was it.  I did look for a church a few times and started attending one but ended up leaving and then attending another one - which I also left.  The pastor was a nice man and all, but I couldn't help but think this guy really was well out of his calling.  Only when Caleb came alive in the Lord did I come to grips with reality and come to terms that my life had drifted far away from what I was and am supposed to be doing in and for the Lord.

I couldn't possibly sit here and tell you what, or perhaps more to the point: where I should be at right now in terms of ministry, but I can say that the starting point, at least for me and for now, will be through the church I am going to.  They have been very patient with me as I have worked to deal with the issues that life offers - which usually are not all that pleasant thank you - but I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  Ask me about that light last year and I would have told you I still only see darkness, no where near the end.

Okay, backtracking a bit: I did do some things that I have always felt the Lord wants me to do during these years after the divorce.  I have given large quantities of food to hungry families.  I have helped people keep their lights on - easy to do if a person has a M-Power card, you don't give them the money you simply put it on their card.  Jesus simply said to feed the hungry, that's something, at least, that I have kept doing throughout this time.

Well, anyway, this fast is having a serious effect that I did not expect in renewing my desire to get back into some form of ministry - whether in the church or not - and also simply digging into the Word and trying to keep my mind stayed on the Lord all day long. Can't say that is happening 24 hours a day,  but certainly I'm feeling better about myself in this regard.

On a slightly different topic, I won an Ebay auction a few days ago for a Bible that has 4 different versions of the Bible side-by-side.  A great study Bible, you can read the same scripture in 4 different versions and get a much fuller perspective of what is actually being said - and imparted.  I don't actually HAVE the Bible yet, paid for it but don't expect to receive it for another week or so.  I am far more confident using Ebay these days because of their "Buyer Protection" plan.  If you don't receive an item you paid for, you WILL get your money back as long as the auction says that the purchase is covered by that plan.  Or if the item received is not what was listed in the auction (which happened to me last year when I bought a pond filter and it turned out to be something completely different and worth far less in value than what was advertised: I eventually got my money refunded to me). Ebay didn't use to have that protection and it was a gamble every time you bought something.

Well, that's it for now.  It's time to go to bed.  Worked an 11-1/2 hour day today and I am bushed.

G'nite.

ben

A trip to the doctor yesterday resulted in not much of anything.  They claimed it is still viral and not bronchitis.  Offered me cough medicine with codeine.  All nice and fine, but I can't take that stuff during the week.  Even with a prescription, it simply isn't a risk I'm willing to take at work having had taken it the night before.  Certainly, I couldn't use it while working.  And anyways, I am running a humidifier at night which fairly well reduces and for periods of time eliminates the otherwise constant coughing.

So, grin and bear it.  As it stands, there is a prayer meeting tonight - which I won't be attending since it started 5 minutes ago and I am heading to my bedroom in a few minutes to crank up the humidifier and get my lungs feeling "good" again.

The doctor informed me to come back in 3 days if I am not getting better by then.  Hardly.  I'll wait up to a week - at least - before going back.  I have too much of a lifelong history of bronchitis, a condition I would like to completely avoid at this point in time, but if it happens, I will be asking the doc for a steroid injection.

More?  Sure, but I don't have time for it now.  I'm heading off to the bedroom.

ben

I don't know what came at me - a resurgence of the flu or just a head cold, but whatever it is, it's pretty much unbearable. It's easy enough,  I guess, to lay in bed and do nothing.  But, to go to work and be productive, a different story altogether.  Friday, I left work at around 12:30 pm - 6-1/2 hours of work and all I could handle.  My manager was home with his daughter, who has strep throat.  The operations manager simply told me to leave, it was obvious to anyone that I wasn't feeling well and that I wasn't really doing that well, even though I was working.

I have no idea about tomorrow.  I forced myself out of bed this morning, at 8:00 am which is wayyyyyyy later rise-time for me than normal, took a shower and got ready for church.  I wanted to go in for prayer if nothing else.  I ended up staying for the entire service and getting prayer at the end.

Well whatever.  I believe in prayer, the ability of believers to pray for each other for people to get well and that I stand on.  I am feeling better, but certainly not anything near 100%.

This is day 7 over the 21 day Daniel fast and surprisingly to me, I have not missed meat at all.  I did not know the selection of meatless foods that are available.

It's very nice outside - much different than the temps last week - the temp is 72 degrees outside but standing in the sun it's much warmer.  Pond temps have risen a good 12 degrees since last week, an encouraging sign as I don't necessarily think 40 plus degree temps in the water are all that good for them.  The dogs - will spending quality time back outdoors now that morning temps are back up in the bearable range.

Done.  Intend on going to bed very much early today.

Friday.
I have a full blown head cold with chest congestion.
Yuck.
Worse is my manager is out again today, so operations manager is in taking his place.  Not that that's bad, but I want to get out of there as early as possible.  We'll see.  I foresee another weekend at home, laying around, attempting to recover as I was a few weeks ago with that flu junk that is going around.

ben

The damage is done.
I didn't really figure that going through a 25 degree night would end up with no damage to my plants, but I was hoping that it would be minimal - for whatever reason I don't know, just hope.

So it is, actually.  We had a frost go through here 3 years ago that wasn't near as bad as what we just went through and that almost killed a large number of my plants.  In this case, yes, some serious damage, but given enough time they will come back.  Well, excepting the small ficus trees.  several of them 2 to 3 feet tall have all their leaves dying, which isn't a good sign.  The 2 large ones - well, one that had more exposure, the entire top of it is damaged and will die.  The other one has a much taller tree hanging over it and it didn't experience any damage at all, that I could see.

The front yard had some hits as well, but nothing I don't think that can't come back, eventually, come Spring and new life.

Fasting and praying.  I haven't had meat since Sunday afternoon but strangely enough, at least so far, I haven't really missed it that much.  It is noticeable, however, that you don't get the full feeling of eating vegetables and such that you do after eating pretty much any meal that includes a portion of meat in it.  I started dieting at the beginning of the year, but with this meatless diet I am now almost 7 pounds lighter.  I have read and heard that eliminating meat out of your system for a while definitely helps your body to cleanse itself and also to lose weight.  I'm eating more oatmeal than anything.

Well, enough for one day.

ben

Prayer service.
I went last night and simply sat there and took in the presence and love of the Lord.

"I don't believe in all that stuff".

Then don't.  You are simply missing out on the best thing that exists anywhere.

Work is beginning to get monotonous and boring.  Same thing, every day.  Nothing new.  I am getting restless.  There is more to life than punching a time clock in and out.  Nothing wrong with working, but there are other types of work out there that have eternal consequence that are getting much more alluring to me.

No, I'm not quitting my job.  But I am looking into other things to do with my free time.

Last night of freezing temps.  Regarding my plants.  I am hopefully able to take all those sheets and blankets off of the plants today and get them soaking in the sun again.  From the looks of the forecast, it may not have gotten as cold this morning as they thought it was going to, but they mentioned a freeze warning so no point in taking all that stuff off, just left it on there one more night.

Meatless diet - prayer and fasting is what it actually is - continues on.  The Pastor's wife handed me a bag full of cooked foods last night at the prayer service - I mean a large, heavy bag full of stuff.  All of it meatless, of course, but very nice.

Just a few words thrown out there, gotta get to work.

G'day.

ben

This year, I must fly somewhere.
I don't really care where.
I haven't flown in years now and it's beginning to eat at me.
And I don't just want to fly in any aircraft, either, though I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world whatever type of commercial jet I might end up in, but my favorite plane is the Boeing 747.  It's been a long, long time since I've flown in one of those.
I have never flown over the ocean - though I think the cost of a round trip flight to anywhere overseas probably a bit more than perhaps what I can come up with this year - that would be awesome.  I wouldn't even care about the destination, the trip there would be my fun with it.

Okay, I had to look: a round trip flight to Rome, Italy around a grand.  That undoubtedly not including all the fees they dump on everyone nowadays.  I haven't flown in so long, I really would have no idea what to expect at the airport with all the security, fees and and junk.  England about the same.

I dunno why I am talking about this, just something that is in me that won't go away.  The desire grows as time passes.

And to finish this, I am now at 106 hours of vacation time saved up : )

About 3-1/2 hours the church-wide fast begins.  I am fully prepared at this point with all kinds of vegetarian dishes available both frozen and canned plus I will be making some home made dishes as well. But, I figured to get into it first and get rolling along with it and then find my motivation to actually cook something different than what I have already purchased, lol.

I have been inspecting what damage may have occurred to my plants from the last 2 nights of below freezing temps.  The damage is only to those susceptible plants. Those plants that have some damage are the parts of the plants I simply could not cover.  I would have to have a lot more sheets/blankets to do that.  I need to remind myself for next year that I need probably twice as much sheets as what I currently have to be able to cover everything completely that needs to be covered.

One of my Ficus trees - well the sheet come off in the breeze I guess - and it has sustained extensive damage.  The Sissoos still look good, actually, but tonight? It's supposed to get down to 27 degrees and tomorrow it's expected to hit 31.  The 27 degree deal is what I am looking at.  That's cold.  If it lasts too long in terms of being that far below freezing, well, I can only hold out hope : )

The flowers are gone on any plants at this point.  That means that both of my hummingbird feeders are seeing a LOT of activity.  I have 2 of them, one at the south end of the house and one on the east side.  I can see both from inside the house.  I can also see the levels of both of them going down quite rapidly, far quicker than anything I would see in the summertime.  In reality, those birds are not supposed to stick around here during the winter, they are supposed to head to whatever point south.

_______________________________________

Long interlude.  Attempting to try and get myself back to liking hot tea, I have been drinking far too much coffee.  Earl Grey is good - with a bit of milk and sweetener.  I know there is some other type of tea out there that I like without adding anything.  I think it's the kind of tea they serve at Chinese restaurants, just have to find out what kind of tea that is.

Regardless, it has begun.  The fast, that is.  I'm offa here.

ben

Incredibly good sleep last night.
However, getting to sleep was another story entirely.
Extreme temptation came over me to the likes I haven't experienced in quite a while.
Not going to go into the specifics, but I was laying in bed, looking at the news on my laptop.  After I started praying, well, the next thing I knew, I was waking up, laptop still there, didn't remember going to sleep and then remembered what I had been experiencing and also the fact that - it was gone.

Strange stuff.

Woke up at 5:30 am - slept in an hour - and got up to take a shower.  Immediately upon exiting the shower, I heard what sounded like a horn going off.  Couldn't tell for sure, but got dressed quickly and headed outside.  The old Buick, the horn was going off by itself.  Upon hitting the center of the steering wheel, it went off, only to come on again 5 minutes later.  I am sure the neighbors must have loved that, that horn on that car is very loud, old style thing, not one of this high pitched irritant horns, this is just a plain out blaster.

I got it to go off- but if it keeps happening I am going to disconnect the horn entirely.  I decided to go out and see how my fishies are doing in this cold weather.  It got down to 30 degrees, I think, this morning and it's still 45 degrees out at almost 11:00 am.  One pond has a heater, the other does not.  They were just sitting there, not moving, which I expected in being in such cold conditions.

Off to Denny's.  Nice Lumberjack slam - going to eat well until tomorrow Sundown and then it's time to engage in that 21 day fast.  After that, I headed to Whole Foods.  Interesting store, definitely geared for vegetarians - of which I am not - but bought a bunch of stuff I figured to take the place of meat.  I know what I am fasting that after a while, just about anything starts tasting like a steak dinner. Lol.

After that the bank and a deposit and then off to Petco.  If one pond is going to have a heater, they both are.  The third pond has no fish in it.  I am going to deal with that pond in the Spring, until then, it's just got plants in it.  Anyway, the $39 spent on a 300 watt heater (highest wattage heater they had available), I figured the cost of that and extra electricity still would come nothing close to the cost of replacing those fish if they all died out there because of it getting too cold.

It is an interesting journey to get my mind completely back to the point it was long ago, before the church fiasco, divorce, loss of friends, etc etc etc.  Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

Isaiah 26:3  This isn't mumbo-jumbo, pie-in-the-sky, this is reality. This is what I am striving for, constantly, throughout the day and even in my sleep.  There is nothing else in this life.  The world has nothing to offer.  It's all empty.  Whatever is "distracting" you for a season may seem like "something" but in the end, it's empty, void of life, a complete and total distraction from the Lord and frankly, used of the enemy to make you impotent for any usage in the Kingdom of Heaven while on this earth.  You work your entire life, you might save up some money for retirement, you retire and then you die.

I'm not opposed to working and I am not opposed to saving up for retirement, but in and of itself, it is an empty bowl, it has nothing in it that has anything of eternal consequence.  When I stand before the Lord, I am fairly sure He isn't going to ask me how much I saved up for my retirement or until what age I worked.  He may be interested in how much of my wealth I gave out in helping the needy and poor.  He probably will be interested if I actually followed after Him with my whole heart, soul, mind and strength.  Did I preach the Gospel and win souls to the Kingdom?  

I have completely wasted almost 8 years of my life and though I am not happy about it, I am not going to live in regret and pity about it, either.  It's simply time to move on.  To live out the book of Acts, if I have any spiritual goals, in my own personal walk with the Lord, that is what I am seeking.  Miracles and healing weren't just for the Apostles.  These are visual signs that God gives for the non-believers to see that God is real and that He is actually interested in each and every human being.  There is little to be had in a walk with the Lord that is void of his power and authority working through His people to show to the world that God IS Almighty, glorious, ever-lasting and able to do that which He says.  

It is interesting that many of the things that are happening in my life - seem to be happening all at once.  The 21 day fast?  I made a vow to the Lord some 25 plus years ago about a fast I had started, that I would go for 21 days.  I broke that vow as I only lasted - well a week I think it was - it was a total fast though, no food, just liquids.  Perhaps it's the timing of it to keep my vows and do what I told the Lord I was going to do so long ago.  It's a "thing" that has been sitting in the back of my mind all of these years.  I fully expect to make it through this fast.  

That's it, for now.

ben

Freeze Warning - It Is Done

The most dreaded time of year for a person who has a property full of plants and trees will occur in the next 106 hours.  That's the freeze warnings that are extended from tonight until mid Tuesday morning.  Low's in the mid 20's in outlying regions, low 30's where I live - though I am up at a higher elevation than downtown and at the base of a mountain, so I suspect cold temps can hit here more easily.

Of course, I covered plants in the bad freeze we had some 3 years ago - and definitely many of my plants still sustained damage, but they all came back.  I actually stood out there and prayed over the whole lot of them not 30 minutes ago and asked the Lord to protect them in whatever way that I obviously cannot.

There are many plants and trees that are not covered - I do not have that many covers even though I have been accumulating them for some time (4 large lawn and leaf bags full of them), but there many trees I cannot cover anyway.  Those are mostly the Sissoo trees and in that last deep freeze we had 3 years ago, they all "died" - they appeared dead anyway - but came back to life in the spring.  I also deep watered all plants 2 days in a row now, the experts say that is another way to help them through the cold.

I can only wait now and hope.

Meanwhile, I was Googling vegan diets.  LOTS of sites on that subject.  Lots of different takes on it, too.  A plant based diet only; a plant diet with eggs allowed; a plant diet with diary allowed and a plant diet with both eggs and diary allowed.  I haven't decided what to do, yet.  I haven't done a no-meat fast in ages and NEVER for 21 days.  The church-wide fast starts at sundown on Sunday.

But I do figure on lots of oatmeal; some amount of peanut butter; obviously lots of salads of varying kinds and even meatless spaghetti.  I can actually make that taste pretty good - at least for me - with lots of sauce with chunks of tomatoes in it.  Whether I allow myself to drink milk and have yogurt remains to be decided.  I like eggs, but I don't really thinks it's all that good to eat too many of them, so even if I do eat some eggs, it will be very limited.  I think "true vegans" don't like eggs because they come from an animal.  I love animals, I love eating them  : ) ...........especially cows; pigs and chickens.

It's Friday evening.  Oh what I wouldn't do to have a fireplace in this house.  I can get free wood as much as I need.  At work, ductile iron pipe is delivered on trucks with flatbed trailers and uses either pine or oak board.  Big, thick boards.  The oak boards burn for a long time, so the contractors who take them home or to the mountains to burn them tell me.  But I don't really want to put a large hole in my roof to have a vent for it, I would have to pay a contractor to do that, just not in the cards right now.

Eerily quiet evening.  Tenants are gone. My son is wherever. Mark is in the hospital, by now having had the surgery and now 2 weeks of recovery.  Lynnette undoubtedly over there with him.  A good time to get in the Word, seek the Lord and pray.

ben

What is the worst thing that can happen in the morning, getting out of bed and doing your daily rituals?
NO HOT WATER.
I about had 10 cows.
I haven't gone to work without having had taken a shower first - I don't even remember when the "last" time that occurred, probably never but I couldn't say that for sure.
The water got up to a temp I would call cool, not even warm but not as cold as the cold water is.
Then I remembered: Mark is going to the hospital for 2 weeks, probably drained out the water heater.
Or is there something wrong with it?  Well if there is, it isn't showing in the faucet I just checked: water heating up again.

Too late.  I just looked at the forecast: the high today is only going to be 50 degrees! Yikes!  That's my version of a cold winter's day!  I wish I had a fireplace!

Ummmm, so anyway.  I didn't get the blankets and sheets out yesterday, it was too late in the day and it was getting dark and anyway, after checking the forecast, it's tonight it's going to get cold, allegedly anyway, not last night.  I watered my plants nicely instead. They claim well watered plants will withstand cold better than no-so-well-watered-plants.

I dunno, but I may run strings of Christmas lights on some of the plants - Honeysuckles - to help create a bit more warmth when considering running them through the plants and then covering the plants with blankets/sheets.

This is pretty much a yearly affair, but temps that low are not really that common.

Well anyway, I am preparing myself for a Daniel fast.  Praying, reading the Word - and admittedly - eating a lot of meat just before it starts! LOL.  3 weeks without meat!  I have never done a Daniel fast that long.  I will have to prepare food in advance for work - you can't buy a salad without meat at any of the restaurant chains that I know of save Subway.  Oh.  Well maybe I will be eating at Subway for the next 3 weeks - preparing salads and such for work every day will get old in a fast hurry.

Okay, so that's en-queue - just sort of thinking about that one because it's soooooo long without any meat.  I remember it was Daniel that was in the King's service in training that didn't want meat and only wanted a vegetable diet and challenged his keeper to give him 10 days of vegetables only and see if, after those 10 days, he didn't look better than those that were in training that were on the "King's diet".  I would be interested in finding out what, exactly, they had them dining on.  But, a vegetable diet is a - vegetable diet.  Lol.

Well, Friday and..........of to work.

G'day.

ben

The dentist did not have any good news for me today.
He offered 3 plans: A, B and C.
A - 20 grand.
B - 8 grand.
C - unknown but less than A and B.
I can't do plan A in phases, it won't work that way (like doing one tooth at a time).
Plan B can't be done that way, either, it's an implant with 4 teeth attached to it.
Plan C is partials.

These plans do not include the 3 crowns that I need elsewhere in my mouth.

I'm just going to pray over it, that's all I can do.  I don't have the kind of money it would cost for A or B and probably not C, either, even with insurance.

So - put it on the prayer list.

TMI

Abbreviated for: Too Much Information
Mark is going in for surgery (one of my tenants) for the same thing he had to have surgery for a few years back.  It's a 2 week recovery in the hospital.  So I asked him about it yesterday and he went into full detail about the recovery, passing gas and other - subjects that don't particularly appeal to me at all, and if a person goes on about it long enough, starts to gross me out.

TOO MUCH INFORMATION, thank you.  We all know what happens when you sit down on a toilet and we all know that TMI about that particular function is - well it's completely unnecessary.

Anyway, Hump Day is here (and for those that don't know, it is nothing sexual, just the official middle of the work week).  It is also the day I find out just how much work I need done on my teeth.  I was already told 6 crowns, but that did not include the front teeth.  Dentist appointment at 4:00.

Meanwhile, my search for a much closer walk with the Lord continues.  When thoughts come in that are of this world, whatever they may be, I reject them.  I want my mind focused on the Lord at all times, however much possible that may be.  I have taken 2 steps (major steps, I should add) towards the purpose of rejecting the worldly life and all the pleasures and trappings it may have and am continuing on.  Our church is doing a 21 day Daniel type of fast starting next week and I am preparing myself to engage in it as well.

It is also time to buy a new Bible.  I am still peeved, honestly, about that car wash company taking my Bible and other belongings and simply discarding them (or doing whatever they did with them) in the trash.  It's been quite a while, I just read the Bible online at this point, but I find that a paper copy of the Bible, in-hand, is far superior than reading it on a screen on a computer.  There are pluses, though, to reading it online, one of which is you can have several different versions of the Bible appearing side by side all at the same time while reading whatever book/chapter/verse you are on.

You may not believe this, but if there is a time when I am about to open the Word and I simply don't really know what I am supposed to read, I have simply opened the thing at random and started reading whatever it came to and have found so very often it to be true that that particular book/chapter I end up in ends up being a living, spoken word from the mouth of the Lord to my inner man and spirit for that time.  It's happened so many times that I cannot and won't deny that at least some of that has other origins than mere happenstance.

You cannot do that with an online bible, lol.

So, probably get another New King James version, which is my favorite.

However, looking at the clock? It's time to leave for work!!

G'day.

ben

Faces From The Past

Seems to be a recurring theme going on lately, faces from the past that is.
A couple showed up at church this morning - people I hadn't seen in a long time, though I think I ran into them once at a Home Depot maybe a few or 3 years ago.  Their church had dissolved as of last week but they had been looking for a place for some time now.  I was shocked to see them sitting in some chairs after they had come in, one of those double-take moments.  I shouldn't have been so shocked, I guess, this church is about a mile away from their house - but to find the church takes a little bit of searching, not on the main surface streets.

I don't know what 2013 has in store for me, but I do know that I have been seeking the Lord in getting the past - in the past.  Let things go, forgive others, ask others to forgive me, others that don't want to speak that peace, at the very least, would be rested upon both parties if at all possible.  Not to mention changing some things in my personal life that - definitely need some serious adjustment. Already well into that.

Next week, our church starts a 21 day fast.  There are, of course, differing types of fasting, I believe most people will opt for a meatless diet.  If you happen to like meat, then going 21 days without it is different a form of fasting.  However, fasting for the sake of fasting is irrelevant. And certainly not the purpose the church has in mind. Seeking the Lord, with the whole heart, soul and mind.  Getting into the Word and finding what the Spirit is speaking to my heart, that will be my focus.  For direction, for help, for favor with individuals I need favor with, etc.  I haven't fasted in quite a while - well I went without food a few days this week but it wasn't an intentional forsaking of nutrition, I was sick and I simply did not want to eat anything.

Whatever the case, it's a Sunday afternoon, I have spent the weekend doing much of nothing attempting to get as fully recovered from this week's sickness episode as possible.  I did take one of the dogs for a walk at the park yesterday - I made it about a mile and ran out of energy and decided not to push it. That and church today besides some cleaning, that's been it.

I'm not really looking forward to a 5 day work week which is en-queue, to be honest, because I am not fully recovered yet and sometimes going 10 to 12 hour days for days in a road can bring a form of "relapse" in the recovery process, especially in my lungs.  So, I will simply stand in faith and believe God that I am healed and that the symptoms will not reappear.  As for church, a LARGE number of people were out with the same sickness.  The pastor shared that he had been to at least half a dozen homes yesterday praying for families that have gotten ill with this nastiness that is going around.

Umm, speaking of work, there isn't a paid holiday off until May, lol.  A yearly occurrence.  You want time off, you gotta just take floating holidays or vacation time.  I will not go 5 months without some days off, at the same time attempting to save my hours up for a 2 week extended period off this year, or possibly just take 3, 1 week vacations.  Up to 96 hours as of now.  This is the first year with my company that I will start accruing 10 hours of vacation time per month, up from the 6.6 hours you get for the first 6 years of employment with them and also move up to 140 hours of paid vacation, from the 100 I was getting.

Well, enough.  Time for a hot tea or coffee.

G'day.
ben

Another long day at work and didn't help my physical situation - at all.
But now staring the weekend and have plans to do - much of nothing but rest, drink lots of liquids and read the Bible.  Oh, a probably go to church on Sunday and get some prayer.  I would go tonight for the Friday night prayer thing, but they aren't having it tonight since we had a New Year's Eve celebration on Monday.  I think, anyway.  Their calendar shows nothing for tonight anyway.

I made no grandiose New Year's resolutions for this year excepting to get closer to God.  No working out resolutions, no this that and the other thing, I just want to be closer to the Lord.  Which doesn't mean I won't take up working out again, who knows, but I won't resolve such a thing, those kinds of resolutions always seem doomed to imminent failure.

My manager wanted me to go and have some beers with him after work, but I refused. No alcohol, thanks.  And I'm not eating much, still, so no desire to go eat, either.  I think he went without me.

I turned the radio off in the truck today - when I was driving obviously - and spent the time praying instead.  I am by no means stating that I am some super-spiritual person, but as I said, the only resolution I have is to get closer to the heart of the Lord and to hear more of his voice speaking and seek His direction for the rest of my life.

And that's that.  It is late (for me and my current condition), going to read, see if there's anything on
TV and then go to bed early.

I have been sick since New Year's day.  I laid in bed that day and then called in sick to work yesterday. I was pretty much informed my help was needed at work today, I showed up and wish I hadn't.  It's not my normal bed time right now, but I am so wiped out from a 10-1/2 day's worth of work in a very weak body at this point in time - that I am now going to bed!
ben

Church

I went to church tonight for a New Year's celebration, though admittedly it's still 3 hours before New Year's actually hits and I don't think anyone's staying there THAT long.  I was there for 2 hours.  I haven't felt so much freedom in such a long time - and yet I also freely admit there is a ways yet to go.  But it was a great service and the presence of the Lord was so very much palpable.  I am encouraged about the year 2013, not because of the things going on in this world -  what is new about that.  The world always has garbage going on all over, it is a never-ending story.

No, I am simply talking about my walk with the Lord.  I have a number of people now standing in faith with me to overcome, put behind me and move on.  This is where the Lord has been leading me in the last year and a half anyway, but now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's growing brighter and brighter as I get beyond obstacles in my life from the past or even the present.  

Anyway, I have a temporary tenant in the trailer.  I had talked with him at length on the phone and in emails - he is from Georgia and came in on a Greyhound bus earlier today.  I went down there and picked him up.  I think that, for however long he is here, it will probably work out well just from judging our conversations and his attitude which seems to be very good and - seemingly - has a very strong work ethic.  It's so hard to really judge character when attempting to discern if a person is going to make a good fit in the household and  what sort of person it is when considering morals and ethics (I would prefer a person with a strong set of those, or at least in the mid-section of it versus somewhat morally obtuse and ethically discerned).  Time will tell.

He has a cousin here of which he has already left and gone to spend the night with to bring in the New Year. It may very well happen that he may move in with that cousin.  I have no clue and he certainly didn't say anything about that, but I either had a feeling about that or my mind just went down that path along with numerous other in determining what the outcome of this will be.  When you start driving your mind through all the potential endings of a situation, it can certainly take you down some interesting paths and vivid places.  It won't offend me if he leaves to go live with his cousin, he needed a place to call "home" before coming here and perhaps my place was that pretense - yes I have a place to live so if that doesn't work out then I won't be stranded.  Again, I have no knowledge at all that this may be what's happening, but I now recognize that I have that "feeling".  

Well, I don't think I'll be staying up another 3 hours until the New Year comes in.  Well, I will probably be awakened.  If I am up, I will do the age-old car honking thing.  The fire station 1 block directly south of me will have it's fire truck horns blaring.  People in this neighborhood will be shouting very loudly Happy New Year! and maybe a few other car horns honking.  The real noise maker, though, are those fire engine horns and the vast amount of fireworks - done by local residents - that will be going off.  No, lol, I don't have a problem with it, just saying that's what happens in my neighborhood.

So, Happy New Year to everyone. 

ben

Another Morning at the Dentist's office

I got rather irritated sitting at the dentist's office, waiting this morning. I showed up early - which I always do in case there are paperwork issues.  The appointment was at 8am, I sat in that office for 41 minutes before the dentist finally showed up, no apology and just got right down to business.

I have a habit of leaving doctor's or any other such office if I don't get seen within 30 minutes of the appointed time unless they come along and tell me they are going to be delayed. They offered me no such amenities, which is why I got irritated.  It brought back memories of other dentist's offices I have been in the far past - which is the last time I went to one - and them making you wait up to an hour without even giving an explanation, much less an apology.

Well, I was already there, I just swallowed that and then was examined by the dentist, who started reading off the problems in techno lingo to his assistant to write down on a pad.  I didn't understand any of it, it was letters and numbers he was using as identifiers.

But he eventually got down to plain, simple talk to me and I was listening with - well I didn't figure I was going to get out of this easy, but it was far more work needing to be done that I had anticipated.  I need a total of 6 crowns, 1 root canal and some other procedure.  That does not include my front teeth, which are chipped, crowded together and basically a mess.  He informed me that if I just let my front teeth go, they will eventually all fall out.  Yikes.

I only have myself to blame.  I have had dentist insurance for over 7 years and haven't used it.  Haven't gone into the dentist because of my disdain for them and their apparent idea that only their time is worth money, yours isn't worth anything and yes, you will wait for that dentist to come into your room, it doesn't matter how long he/she makes you wait and you will like it.

The dentist started telling me that he can't really come to a conclusion on my front teeth until I have casts made of them and then he can look at them, compare them to the x-rays and come up with a plan.  Well that's all fine and dandy, I am thinking, but I am not rich.  I can only imagine the cost of all of this.  Thousands and untold thousands of dollars to get all this stuff fixed, regardless of dental insurance that doesn't usually cover very much, anyway.

But, I've gone this far with it.  So, they left the room, telling me they would get me a price and be back shortly.  Well at least the insurance covered all of that, no charge to me this morning.  They did the casts, filling my mouth with extremely cold gooey substance that gells after a few minutes and then made an appointment for Wednesday - next week. The dentist flatly stated he would have to do his homework.  I'm glad he's at least acknowledging he will take the time to come up with a plan, but me? There is NO way I can afford all of this.  Maybe spread out over the next several years but it is a foregone conclusion that, at least with the finances I have available currently, it's simply not going to happen anytime soon.  It will have to be do one thing here, one thing there as I am able to save up for it and pay for it.  It will be do the worst thing first and work backwards down the list.

I'm wondering if it's possible to sign up for another dental insurance plan on my own.  My insurance will run out quickly with all of this. If they even cover 50% I would be happy.  What do crowns cost nowadays? $800? $1,000?  I have no idea.  They're not cheap, I know that.  So, I shook off the pall that tried to over come me in starting to go through the thought processes of how much this is going to all cost and where I would come up with the money.  I will do what I can do and that's that.  If I have to have teeth pulled, then pull them. I don't have any pain currently, at least I have that much going for me and they stated there is no bone loss, so that's a good thing as well. But, I am guessing to fix my front lower teeth, one of them will have to be pulled and the rest realigned, if that's possible, to make room and then several crowns.

Well, Happy New Year, lol.

Hmmm.  Well, if work stays steady and I continue to get the hours I have been, I should be able to start saving up a good emergency fund.  But who knows what's going to happen in 2013 with this fiscal cliff crap and the fact that "lawmakers" - if you can call them that - can't agree on even a stripped down version of a consensus to get something done.

But, I also do not agree that Obama should have unlimited authority to raise the debt ceiling all by himself.  That's simply preposterous.

Meanwhile, the gun control argument rages on like never before.  Well maybe not like never before, but certainly with as much intensity as it's ever had.  I have involved myself in numerous online conversations about that particular issue and I do hear some rather uneducated (in the realm of guns, that is) individuals talking about things they nothing about.  I am absolutely no expert in the field of guns, either, but I am learning.  It's just one of those things where people decide a thing is bad and so get rid of all of it.

I don't mean these people just want to be rid of large magazines that can hold 30 rounds of ammo, I mean  people talking about banning private gun ownership altogether.  I think, fortunately, there are too many gun owners in America for that idea to ever catch on to the phase of enacting a change to the Constitution of our land, since that's what that kind of nonsense idea would take.

New tenant is coming on Saturday instead of tomorrow.  Which is good, need to prepare for that.

We'll see how that goes. Always a gamble, always a roll of the dice when talking about a new person coming in.

Whatever the case, my 5 days off are officially over and guess what?

It's time to go to work!

ben

I decided to get in as much as I could by the end of this year at the dentist - way past overdue (by 10 years anyway) to get my mouth x-rayed and find out what might be going on in there.  The good news was nothing major.  Not even a root canal (I for whatever reason thought I would have at least one of those necessary).

I have been here for 2 hours and 15 minutes (yes, I am keeping track) and now I am waiting for another appointment that they just happened to have opened up by cancellation for some special kind of  cleaning.  I am just biting the bullet in the patience department and keeping a good attitude - though I admittedly despise waiting in offices and having spent this much time here already, well, I am starving! I haven't eaten anything today and it's already 12:30pm.  Prime rib sitting in my refrigerator at home, I can't wait to get out of here and have some french dip style sandwiches with the Au Jus I have left over as well.

Umm, so an incident with a neighborhood kid on my Facebook wall yesterday.  He decided to interject himself in a conversation I  was having on my wall 2 days ago and started mouthing off to the friend I was talking with (I have known this lady for almost 25 years now).  Well, she wasn't taking it and gave him a dose of his own medicine, which he didn't discover on my wall until last night.  At that point, I found him publishing extremely foul language in both English and Spanish going against her.  I informed him to stop, which he didn't do and I unfriended him.

He then came over to my house with another of his friends and started mouthing off about the woman again. It got worse and worse to the point I told him to leave.  He went home (after apparently dumping a soda or something on my car), got on Facebook and posted an entire new post on my wall saying extremely foul things about both her and I.  After blocking him, he then went on his brother's account and got on started again.  Blocked that  as well.

I don't get it.  I have treated that kid very nicely for as long as I have lived in that neighborhood, and what do I get in return?  He can stay away from my house as far as I'm concerned unless he gives both that lady and I a heartfelt apology (which, from gauging his attitude yesterday, isn't likely to occur anytime soon).  His friend was sitting their listening and seeing all of this and was aghast.  At least there was someone his age who thought his actions and reactions to be totally off-the-wall.  It's just unbelievable to me the way kids act nowadays.

Whatever.  Christmas was good.  Final day off and then work 2 days and then the weekend.  But, I am spending 4 hours of this day off at the dentist.  Making the best of it, glad I brought my computer with me.

Nothing much else going on beside potentially a temporary tenant for the trailer, of whom I have had  a lot of communication with before deciding to allow him to come and stay for a few months.  He may stay longer - but only if he makes a good fit around my place.

Well, hope everyone had a great holiday and some time off!

G'day.

ben