When one sets out to get off the road that leads to destruction and back onto the path that leads to eternal life - through the narrow gate - one is then, I am finding out, attacked in so many different ways from the enemy that it becomes glaringly obvious that the enemy is behind all of it and that he isn't exactly happy that - God is greater, thank you Lord.
After much reflection, I realize that I had completely given up even attempting to walk with the Lord, just do my own thing and keep to myself. The carnal nature of man is not in love with the Word of God - you know, the words written in the Bible. It loves to do whatever it wants to - those things that are evil; worldly, anything that is not of God. Raising my hand: guilty.
I started reading through the book of James. If you want to find printed words, from God, that will rile your flesh, simply start reading in that book. Faith without works is dead. Count it all joy when you are confronted with trials and tribulation. It's a lot of admonishment, to be honest about it. These are the parts of the Bible that are oft times ignored by those that just want the gooey-good feeling and not all the idea of "taking up your cross daily and following after Christ" that leads to a disciplined life in the Lord.
I have a long ways to go, that's what I can say about it. But, continuing reading in the Word is the answer, at least for me. It is a habit I am attempting to form to simply turn on the computer and pull up the BibleGateway site every morning and start reading. And yes, I am in the book of James and it may take a while to work my way through it. I don't want to just glaze over all the "hard" stuff, I want to absorb it and let it become a part of my every day life.
Well, anyway. At some point, I will find it within myself to volunteer in the church. Whatever that may mean, even if it's vacuuming carpets.
Rain. That was the forecast for today. Yet, looking at the radar, it is raining - well north of Phoenix. Whether it makes it's way here? Who knows. God causes it to rain on the just and unjust alike, so, please Lord!!! lol
There isn't much else going on, really. I am going to attempt to find someone to come over that has the necessary equipment to recharge the trailer ac's freon system. If I do find someone to do it and it still doesn't put out the necessary temp of air to keep it cool in there, it may be a losing battle to spend any more money on it. I don't want a gawky looking window ac unit mounted on the thing, but to buy a new roof air unit for it is pretty expensive stuff. The thing IS pumping out cool air, just not cold ENOUGH. Which hints to me a need for increased amount of freon.
Well, whatever the case, it's time to be off to work.
G'day.
ben
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Tuesday 4/24/2012
We took a video this weekend of Duke eating a loaf of bread. It's hilarious. The dog doesn't chew bread, he simply swallows it whole. Completely spaced out loading that up to YouTube, gonna have to do that today after work.
A change is coming into my life - more like a reversion to the ways and the walk with the Lord I once had and shook off. Bad thing to do, I can tell you, leaving your walk with the Lord, that is. Not that I consciously told the Lord one day that I want nothing more to do with Him, more like allowing the world and it's ways to creep in and become a way of living. There is, in reality, nothing good in this World, at least those things that are void of Christ, which are most things.
I don't have anyone to blame but myself. The divorce was a nightmare, yes. The church shunning me was the icing on a rotten cake, definitely. Old friends moving on to other churches and never seeing them again? I brushed that one off. I learned long ago that if that's the way a "friend" acts towards you when the going gets rough, then they were never your friends to begin with. I never treated them that way, I can assure you, and I was always there for them.
But I was not guiltless. But as I start to get back into the Word much more than anything I have been doing in the last 7 years, well, it's certainly enlightening - if you believe, of course. If you read the Word and don't believe, then it may not do any good - though God says His word shall not return unto him void. Well, I believe. God is good. I can finally say I believe I am coming out of it. Whatever I have gone through with the church is the past. The current church I am in is a very good one, I just haven't seen it that way because I have been viewing it through tainted eyes, ie: the church that shunned me.
Whatever the case, this walk with the Lord is good. I have missed it so much. God is so good to us. I am hungry for the Word again, a thing I haven't really had in a long, long time now. I am hungry to fulfill my purpose and destiny - whatever that may be - on this earth and then, finally, move onto to be with Him.
G'day.
ben
A change is coming into my life - more like a reversion to the ways and the walk with the Lord I once had and shook off. Bad thing to do, I can tell you, leaving your walk with the Lord, that is. Not that I consciously told the Lord one day that I want nothing more to do with Him, more like allowing the world and it's ways to creep in and become a way of living. There is, in reality, nothing good in this World, at least those things that are void of Christ, which are most things.
I don't have anyone to blame but myself. The divorce was a nightmare, yes. The church shunning me was the icing on a rotten cake, definitely. Old friends moving on to other churches and never seeing them again? I brushed that one off. I learned long ago that if that's the way a "friend" acts towards you when the going gets rough, then they were never your friends to begin with. I never treated them that way, I can assure you, and I was always there for them.
But I was not guiltless. But as I start to get back into the Word much more than anything I have been doing in the last 7 years, well, it's certainly enlightening - if you believe, of course. If you read the Word and don't believe, then it may not do any good - though God says His word shall not return unto him void. Well, I believe. God is good. I can finally say I believe I am coming out of it. Whatever I have gone through with the church is the past. The current church I am in is a very good one, I just haven't seen it that way because I have been viewing it through tainted eyes, ie: the church that shunned me.
Whatever the case, this walk with the Lord is good. I have missed it so much. God is so good to us. I am hungry for the Word again, a thing I haven't really had in a long, long time now. I am hungry to fulfill my purpose and destiny - whatever that may be - on this earth and then, finally, move onto to be with Him.
G'day.
ben
Monday, April 23, 2012
A short one. It got to 105 yesterday. That's 105 degrees in APRIL. What, are we going to have a 130 degree summer? I mean, seriously. Running the AC in April, what fun. I have no idea if this is a pre-cursor to things to come, but I sincerely hope it is not.
Regardless, it's Monday morning, early and I have to leave for work. Mind swimming with things all over the board. A little restless at this point, I am really seeking the Lord and attempting to get beyond some issues in my personal life. Changing things in your personal life that you have lived with for - a long time - is not necessarily the easiest thing to accomplish, but certainly it's not impossible.
G'day.
ben
Regardless, it's Monday morning, early and I have to leave for work. Mind swimming with things all over the board. A little restless at this point, I am really seeking the Lord and attempting to get beyond some issues in my personal life. Changing things in your personal life that you have lived with for - a long time - is not necessarily the easiest thing to accomplish, but certainly it's not impossible.
G'day.
ben
Sunday, April 22, 2012
I may start scaling back my entries a bit. Not quitting, but I didn't write one yesterday. Seems like I am pretty much saying the same things over and over and that makes for some boring reading.
But, today was a bit different day for me. I went to church Friday night - and was up so late that I was pretty tired on Saturday - but definitely worth going. Today, the same prophets were in the church. I sat there and listened to the message and then they started calling out people. I didn't realize that these prophets know many of the people in the church. I have only seen one of them attending the church - once, the other couple I had never seen before.
Well, anyway, the went through all of that and then called up everyone who hadn't been prayed for on either of the 2 days, which I had not. I had already prayed and asked the Lord for one specific thing to happen if I were to get prayed over. Not that I am dictating terms to the Lord, but certainly, what I was asking was definitely not out of line with anything found in the Word of God.
So, when I went up there and stood in line, I contemplated the scenario. Kind of getting into mind games, I guess, while listening to them ministering to other people near me. When the prophet got to me, he didn't ask me anything. Instead, he put his hand on my chest and began praying and speaking forth exactly what I had prayed and asked the Lord earlier. I know people have a hard time with the idea of current-day prophets, but they certainly exist and there aren't just a handful of them out there, either.
I am not going to go into the details of what I had asked the Lord for and/or what the man prayed over me, really, quite personal stuff to be honest and even I am not divulging that kind of thing on the World Wide Web. But, a great fog lifted off of me this morning. The joy of the Lord filled my inner man and I found myself laughing heartily. I went and sat back down on my chair and felt as if I had taken some drugs. I sat there until they were all ready to leave, the ministers that is, as I couldn't find it in myself to get up and go. Not because I wanted to hang out with ministers, but because the presence of the Lord was so unbelievably powerful there today.
That has been, for the most part, my weekend. Yesterday I did much of nothing, too tired. Though I did find out that the AC unit on my trailer - is working - but not putting out cold enough air to bring the temp down that much. The air coming out of it is cold, but not cold enough. It needs freon, I am guessing. They don't have ports on those older units - well I don't know if they have them on newer ones, either - to add more. You actually have to cut into the copper tubing and install a port, I guess, to be able to add it. If I had access to a torch and brazing rods, I could probably install my own port - but I do not have access to such.
I don't have the money right now to pay someone to come out and do that for me, so that's kind of up in the air at this point. I dunno. If I am determined to have it fixed, that's going to put off moving it for a while. Push comes to shove? Might take it up there, anyway. We'll see.
Well whatever. I'm going to bed early tonight - which is really early for most people, lol.
Nite.
ben
But, today was a bit different day for me. I went to church Friday night - and was up so late that I was pretty tired on Saturday - but definitely worth going. Today, the same prophets were in the church. I sat there and listened to the message and then they started calling out people. I didn't realize that these prophets know many of the people in the church. I have only seen one of them attending the church - once, the other couple I had never seen before.
Well, anyway, the went through all of that and then called up everyone who hadn't been prayed for on either of the 2 days, which I had not. I had already prayed and asked the Lord for one specific thing to happen if I were to get prayed over. Not that I am dictating terms to the Lord, but certainly, what I was asking was definitely not out of line with anything found in the Word of God.
So, when I went up there and stood in line, I contemplated the scenario. Kind of getting into mind games, I guess, while listening to them ministering to other people near me. When the prophet got to me, he didn't ask me anything. Instead, he put his hand on my chest and began praying and speaking forth exactly what I had prayed and asked the Lord earlier. I know people have a hard time with the idea of current-day prophets, but they certainly exist and there aren't just a handful of them out there, either.
I am not going to go into the details of what I had asked the Lord for and/or what the man prayed over me, really, quite personal stuff to be honest and even I am not divulging that kind of thing on the World Wide Web. But, a great fog lifted off of me this morning. The joy of the Lord filled my inner man and I found myself laughing heartily. I went and sat back down on my chair and felt as if I had taken some drugs. I sat there until they were all ready to leave, the ministers that is, as I couldn't find it in myself to get up and go. Not because I wanted to hang out with ministers, but because the presence of the Lord was so unbelievably powerful there today.
That has been, for the most part, my weekend. Yesterday I did much of nothing, too tired. Though I did find out that the AC unit on my trailer - is working - but not putting out cold enough air to bring the temp down that much. The air coming out of it is cold, but not cold enough. It needs freon, I am guessing. They don't have ports on those older units - well I don't know if they have them on newer ones, either - to add more. You actually have to cut into the copper tubing and install a port, I guess, to be able to add it. If I had access to a torch and brazing rods, I could probably install my own port - but I do not have access to such.
I don't have the money right now to pay someone to come out and do that for me, so that's kind of up in the air at this point. I dunno. If I am determined to have it fixed, that's going to put off moving it for a while. Push comes to shove? Might take it up there, anyway. We'll see.
Well whatever. I'm going to bed early tonight - which is really early for most people, lol.
Nite.
ben
Friday, April 20, 2012
Friday 4/20/2012
Just got home from church - it's 11:20 pm, hours past my bedtime. But I am awake and need to wind down a bit.
I took Caleb with me who got a very concise word from the Lord through one of the ministers that was there. It was a great service, haven't spent that much time in a service since I was - shunned some years ago now.
Well, at work, they didn't want me to go over 40, but ended up with almost 45 anyway. A 2 man operation with a lot of work and very high GP? It really shouldn't bother them that much, it is what it is.
Mark removed the carpet out of the trailer 2 days ago, which made me very happy. I need only to buy some carpet glue and some staples and away we go. When I get that done, it will be the home stretch, baby.
It's warming up. Near 100 degrees today. AC on most of the day. Not much fun, but what are you going to do?
Nothing much here. Just throwing things out there. I'm tired - but I am REALLY tired of these stupid polls that keep coming out daily of the "race" between Obama and Romney. The election isn't until when, 7 months from now? Do they keep putting these polls out to try and sway people's vote? I don't trust polls that much, anyway. They can word a poll in such a way to get whatever results they want out of if, from what I have seen.
I am having a person over tomorrow - if they show up that is - to take some more pond plants. I really need to weed out some of it. That particular pond is a bit overgrown with plants and some thinning is definitely in the plans.
Nothing more to see here.
G'nite.
ben
I took Caleb with me who got a very concise word from the Lord through one of the ministers that was there. It was a great service, haven't spent that much time in a service since I was - shunned some years ago now.
Well, at work, they didn't want me to go over 40, but ended up with almost 45 anyway. A 2 man operation with a lot of work and very high GP? It really shouldn't bother them that much, it is what it is.
Mark removed the carpet out of the trailer 2 days ago, which made me very happy. I need only to buy some carpet glue and some staples and away we go. When I get that done, it will be the home stretch, baby.
It's warming up. Near 100 degrees today. AC on most of the day. Not much fun, but what are you going to do?
Nothing much here. Just throwing things out there. I'm tired - but I am REALLY tired of these stupid polls that keep coming out daily of the "race" between Obama and Romney. The election isn't until when, 7 months from now? Do they keep putting these polls out to try and sway people's vote? I don't trust polls that much, anyway. They can word a poll in such a way to get whatever results they want out of if, from what I have seen.
I am having a person over tomorrow - if they show up that is - to take some more pond plants. I really need to weed out some of it. That particular pond is a bit overgrown with plants and some thinning is definitely in the plans.
Nothing more to see here.
G'nite.
ben
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Thursday 4/19/2012
I don't particularly care for checks floating around that aren't cashed. So it is every time I send these people a check to make payment on the trailer. They've had it for 2 weeks and finally it went through last night. ONE more payment on that and it frees up $200 a month. Which is good, cause' summer is almost here and that money will be needed for electricity.
I'm definitely leaning more and more towards selling it if I can get what I paid for it out of it. It's in good condition but who knows what the market for such things is right now. I won't take less than I paid for it, that's a fact. So it might sit there for a while if that's the case.
You see the corruption going on with that Federal agency with the lavish parties and then you come online in the morning and find a woman that has allegedly stolen 30 million from a small town, apparently over the course of a long period of time and then you wonder: how much MORE of this is going on?
Pay taxes so thieves can live a lavish lifestyle and wave it in our faces?
Whatever the case, the work day is here, must be leaving now.
G'day.
ben
I'm definitely leaning more and more towards selling it if I can get what I paid for it out of it. It's in good condition but who knows what the market for such things is right now. I won't take less than I paid for it, that's a fact. So it might sit there for a while if that's the case.
You see the corruption going on with that Federal agency with the lavish parties and then you come online in the morning and find a woman that has allegedly stolen 30 million from a small town, apparently over the course of a long period of time and then you wonder: how much MORE of this is going on?
Pay taxes so thieves can live a lavish lifestyle and wave it in our faces?
Whatever the case, the work day is here, must be leaving now.
G'day.
ben
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Wednesday 4/18/2012
Tired.
Just not sleeping well. Considering trying the newest sleep aid that supposedly helps you sleep through the night. I hate waking up at midnight/1:am/2:am/whatever. I don't lay there trying to go back to sleep anymore, I get up or get the laptop and sit up in bed and try to tire/bore myself back to sleep - which works far better than tossing and turning.
Onto other things. Caleb. He was given the green light: they are definitely having him up there at that kid's camp in the mountains again this year. He called and told me the good news this afternoon. He also asked if I could take him up there again. Sure, why not? What day? The 12th of June. Falls on a Tuesday. I will simply ask for the time off I wanted anyway - which in this case would be 4 days off.
I am, of course, hoping/assuming that trailer will already be up there by then. Unfortunately, taking Caleb up to his place and taking the dogs along with us so I can just go back to the trailer instead of all the way back to the valley? Lol. Caleb's mountain "resort" is about - I don't know, maybe another 40 or 50 miles beyond where my mother has her property.
I don't know, really. Driving all the way up there, back to the valley and back up again sounds quite tedious and expensive, fuel-wise. Gonna have to think about that one.
Caleb continues to remind me of our fishing expedition date after he gets back. I had NO idea that he loved going on the ocean that much. He doesn't let on much about what it is going on inside of him. He insists we are going this year and that this time, he will have money to help out with it. I do hope so, cause' right now? It ain't happening if the tab is all on me as it was last year. Though, the one trailer will be paid off next month and the other trailer is almost finished in terms of spending money on it. I am hoping to sell the trailer I am not using. Who knows. He says he is going to save most of his earnings up at the kid camp and that is going to pay for the trip. I want to go, no doubting - San Diego in the summertime? Wonderful : )
I dunno. Secret service agents getting fired; the GSA continuous news about the unbelievable amounts of wasted, taxpayer money; this that and the other thing.
I do know one thing, God willing: I am going to to church on Friday night and I am dragging my son with me. They are having prophets come in and I definitely want to be there. No current-day prophets, you say? Well, you are certainly welcomed to believe whatever you want.
That's only 2 nights from now.
Other things on the mind. No need to go into that here.
G'nite.
ben
Just not sleeping well. Considering trying the newest sleep aid that supposedly helps you sleep through the night. I hate waking up at midnight/1:am/2:am/whatever. I don't lay there trying to go back to sleep anymore, I get up or get the laptop and sit up in bed and try to tire/bore myself back to sleep - which works far better than tossing and turning.
Onto other things. Caleb. He was given the green light: they are definitely having him up there at that kid's camp in the mountains again this year. He called and told me the good news this afternoon. He also asked if I could take him up there again. Sure, why not? What day? The 12th of June. Falls on a Tuesday. I will simply ask for the time off I wanted anyway - which in this case would be 4 days off.
I am, of course, hoping/assuming that trailer will already be up there by then. Unfortunately, taking Caleb up to his place and taking the dogs along with us so I can just go back to the trailer instead of all the way back to the valley? Lol. Caleb's mountain "resort" is about - I don't know, maybe another 40 or 50 miles beyond where my mother has her property.
I don't know, really. Driving all the way up there, back to the valley and back up again sounds quite tedious and expensive, fuel-wise. Gonna have to think about that one.
Caleb continues to remind me of our fishing expedition date after he gets back. I had NO idea that he loved going on the ocean that much. He doesn't let on much about what it is going on inside of him. He insists we are going this year and that this time, he will have money to help out with it. I do hope so, cause' right now? It ain't happening if the tab is all on me as it was last year. Though, the one trailer will be paid off next month and the other trailer is almost finished in terms of spending money on it. I am hoping to sell the trailer I am not using. Who knows. He says he is going to save most of his earnings up at the kid camp and that is going to pay for the trip. I want to go, no doubting - San Diego in the summertime? Wonderful : )
I dunno. Secret service agents getting fired; the GSA continuous news about the unbelievable amounts of wasted, taxpayer money; this that and the other thing.
I do know one thing, God willing: I am going to to church on Friday night and I am dragging my son with me. They are having prophets come in and I definitely want to be there. No current-day prophets, you say? Well, you are certainly welcomed to believe whatever you want.
That's only 2 nights from now.
Other things on the mind. No need to go into that here.
G'nite.
ben
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Tuesday 4/17/2012
I was AT work at 5:00 am this morning.
Contractor at Intel wanted me out there with their stuff that early.
I don't know, I just do whatever they want.
But it's 8:00 pm and I'm exhausted and going to bed after I write this.
Which won't take long, cause' I'm SO tired I am easily irritated and there
are so many people walking through here making "comments" right now?
I'm outta here shortly. Finish what I was doing and get gone.\
Friday night at church? Prophets are going to be there. I am going. I asked
my son via Facebook to go, too, I would be VERY interested in what
the Lord might have to say to him through them.
Ahhh, blahh. I would love to write out an entry like I normally do, but I am too
tired for it.
Hope you all are doing well.
ben
Contractor at Intel wanted me out there with their stuff that early.
I don't know, I just do whatever they want.
But it's 8:00 pm and I'm exhausted and going to bed after I write this.
Which won't take long, cause' I'm SO tired I am easily irritated and there
are so many people walking through here making "comments" right now?
I'm outta here shortly. Finish what I was doing and get gone.\
Friday night at church? Prophets are going to be there. I am going. I asked
my son via Facebook to go, too, I would be VERY interested in what
the Lord might have to say to him through them.
Ahhh, blahh. I would love to write out an entry like I normally do, but I am too
tired for it.
Hope you all are doing well.
ben
Monday, April 16, 2012
Monday 4/16/2012
What I would like to do is take a trip up to mother's property this weekend and check out whether the internet is going to work up there plus walk around the property.
It's how I work, folks. I need sustained motivation in some things to keep on moving forward. Going up to the property; getting a fresh taste of fresh air; hiking through deep woods? Yup, that will get me going. Or keep me going.
I don't have much time here. Since I left work, I have received numerous phone calls about tomorrow morning. The contractor at Intel wants their stuff there at 6:30 am. Most of the material has NOT been pulled yet. Do you know what it takes to pull and order, shrink wrap it, load it on the truck and strap it down plus get paperwork done not to mention opening up the building/gate/bay doors plus closing them again after you are done?
Yeah, thanks. I'ts almost 8:00 pm and it's time for bed already!
No time to go into things today.
G'nite.
ben
It's how I work, folks. I need sustained motivation in some things to keep on moving forward. Going up to the property; getting a fresh taste of fresh air; hiking through deep woods? Yup, that will get me going. Or keep me going.
I don't have much time here. Since I left work, I have received numerous phone calls about tomorrow morning. The contractor at Intel wants their stuff there at 6:30 am. Most of the material has NOT been pulled yet. Do you know what it takes to pull and order, shrink wrap it, load it on the truck and strap it down plus get paperwork done not to mention opening up the building/gate/bay doors plus closing them again after you are done?
Yeah, thanks. I'ts almost 8:00 pm and it's time for bed already!
No time to go into things today.
G'nite.
ben
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)