I'm at the "I can't do this anymore" phase.  The job has it's pros and it's cons, most of which I can deal with even if I don't like it. But there is one sticking point that I will never get used to: broken trucks.  If a company won't fix their equipment, they don't deserve good drivers driving for them.  And so it is coming to that point with this company.

The AC stopped working in the sleeper over a week ago.  I put in a request to have it fixed. I was told that I was needed on another run and that it would have to wait. I very reluctantly agreed to it, knowing that sleep would be evasive.  And sure enough, 3 nights in that thing and sporadic sleep.  I'm freaking wasted tired now, hard to get anything done at home when you haven't slept. 

Anyway, on this last trip, the trailer also had problems.  These are new trailers, like 1 to 2 years old. They are very expensive.  They don't mind spending the money on these trailers, it's the trucks they seem to have an aversion to.  Anyway, I noticed one of the air gauges moving up and down rapidly and hearing the air passing through the valve to air up the trailer.  I mean, that needle was moving up and down - down being the bad part - very quickly.

After checking, I found the air system for the tires on one of the hubs was the culprit.  Air leaking out of the hub at a massive rate, you could hear it 20 feet away. So I informed the fleet manager (not my terminal manager). I was already at a TA truckstop, their preferred place to get trucks repaired on the road, but after inquiring, they said there would be about a 6 hour wait.  No thanks.  I drove down the road to the next TA, who quickly "fixed" the problem.

But, 10  minutes down the road and the same thing happened again, except even worse.  Upon checking, yup, their fix, didn't work.  Well, I had to stop for the night - another half sleepless night in a warm truck in that sleeper - got up early and drove to yet the next TA outside of Memphis.  They wanted to argue about paying for it, I said no, this is your company, it's a nationwide account, please fix it, thanks. 

The fix didn't work.  Then they tried replacing seals. That didn't work either and then they decided that the mechanic who had put on the new hub at the other TA had over torqued the fitting and had cracked it.  This set a 4 hour wait for them to go to Memphis, get another hub, bring it back, find out they had the wrong one, back to memphis again, back and fixed.  Over a 2 day span I wasted a lot of hours on that "project".  Near the end of getting it fixed, this fleet manager texted me saying he was on the phone with my manager and his manager and that his manager said to get the truck greased.  Why did they wait almost 5 hours to tell me that?  I inquired, no, you'll go to the back of the line and it will be 4 hours.

No way am I waiting in that veritable hell hole another 4 hours.  I informed the fleet manager about that and offered to take it into Peterbilt down the road in Little Rock where we could get the whole truck fixed and have the maintenance done. I received no reply.  I never received a reply from this dude.  But, after about 10 minutes, I shrugged my shoulders, go in the truck and drove.  I called my manager near Little Rock who had already gotten into it with numerous members of management and proceeded to tell me about it lol. 

The problem is we have no mechanic, they haven't been able to find one and there is all kinds of issues needing to be addressed in the entire fleet at our branch.  It's all being neglected and she wasn't being given any of the paperwork to alert her to what maintenance needs to be done on whichever trucks.  I don't know if it's a shortage of mechanics or if they just aren't paying anything.  It creates headaches because you have to take a truck in somewhere for simple maintenance or minor repairs and either wait or get a ride back to the yard.  I mean, look at it: you have the truck at the yard, the mechanic pulls it into the shop, walaah, it's fixed there and you don't have to wait. 

Anyway, yesterday, it was left at the idea that my manager was going to call this fleet manager and have him call around to find the best place to get the truck fixed right away instead of having to wait.  I asked her to please call me back and tell me what the plan is, take it in yesterday or take it in this morning?  I heard nothing from her yesterday and it's after noon today and still nothing.  So, I sent her a text message.  I refuse to drive that truck until/if/when it's fixed.  Etc etc etc.  If that doesn't set well with management, please let me know and I will start putting out applications. 

The trucking industry doesn't lure drivers in with old trucks.  They promise you brand new equipment and nowadays alot of the large carriers actually follow through with that promise.  This company did the same thing: we are getting 10 brand new trucks, one of them will be yours. Great! that promise was made at least a dozen times before, during and after orientation.  When the trucks were ready to be delivered, they gave them to another division with team drivers instead, told me that I would have to drive that old piece of junk Volvo. It was truly a take it or leave it proposition.

I made mention of the new trucks promised, but they ignored that.  Well, they aren't ignoring it anymore.  I was quite serious about that text and I have already started putting out applications.  I don't know why they think I would be happy sleeping in a hot truck?  And other issues that I sent to the fleet manager, including front running lights not working.  I could have figured that one out, probably, without a shop but the thing has to go into a shop anyway, so why bother?  The thing is, Roadside Check 2018 starts in a few days. It's 3 days of law enforcement pulling over commercial vehicles all over the nation. If you are driving on any major highway, it's almost guaranteed you will see them out there somewhere with their camps set up.  They do level 1 inspections and they will put you or your truck or both out of service for flagrant violations.  I dunno if they would put a truck out of service for the front running lights not working, but I would definitely get written up for it.

It looks poorly on your record for having that kind of stuff on there.  It makes you look like you don't do pre and post trip inspections and that you don't take care of the equipment.  Another trucking company seeing that would have to consider whether I am worthy of being put in one of their brand new trucks. Of course, there is a documented, legitimate truck driver shortage going on now, so probably a person with no accidents or tickets on their record would get hired just about anywhere.

I dunno, but I"m putting out applications at hazmat tanker companies offering local positions. No guarantees of course, but it's all fuel trucks that go to gas stations and fill up underground tanks.  0

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2 hours later and I get a phone call.  She, Ann my manager, was like, okay, let's get this truck fixed right now.  She had completely forgotten about it, but hadn't forgotten a load she wants me to do tomorrow?  A bit ridiculous but I didn't push the issue.  I drove over to the yard, took the truck to the shop and supposedly they will have it done today. 

Tomorrow I guess I will leave me car at that shop and pick up the truck and drive it back to the yard, get the trailer and then head to the plant.  I expect to not have to go through this crap again if the truck has a problem. It's ridiculous.

Anyway, hours later and I'm finally back home.  Not really feeling all that great with the lack of sleep in the truck for the last several days.  I slept for several hours earlier but I need more.  At least I don't have to be to the plant until 11:00 am tomorrow - but that's not really all that great either because it takes 10 hours to get down there.  That would put me at 1:00am at the earliest arrival time and that ain't gonna happen.  I take that back, I might be able to make it as early as 11:00 pm, it really depends on the plant and how long it takes.  But that's a long day.  I hate driving that late.  I dunno, guess I'll play it on how I feel.  I figure to make at least 500 miles tho, and if I do make 500, I'll just finish out the rest of it.  It's better to get down there as fast as possible in case there isn't a trailer there. Then you get to start the detention pay clock the minute you pull into the yard. 

Oh, this is the Brownsville run, lol.  I do like this run because of the potential detention pay, I got quite a bit last time.  Oh, and I stayed at a hotel I remember now.  That was a truck load of detention pay and the hotel was great for the price.  So, I hope I can do that again.  The weekend I have more of a chance of getting down there and not being a trailer there. 

Well, bed time. 

So the end of 2 full days off arrives and will pass after tonight is over.  I don't mind the long trips, as long as they aren't back to back. Which isn't a problem, many other drivers only want the long trips.  I need one here and there for the paycheck's sake, but enough shorter trips adds up as well.  And I get home more often. They could send me on one of the Canada trips, but that isn't going to happen anytime soon.  The really good runs are eaten up by longer term drivers.  I can't really blame them for doing that, but once in a great while, one of those runs would be nice.

But, hey, I got the Stryker run tomorrow and that is highly desired, to the point mostly only 2 drivers get to go up there. I dunno why tho. It's out in the middle of nowhere and it is no more miles than the West Virginia run.  I've been to both and I can't see any difference in pay.  Maybe those people live up there or have relatives, girlfriends, who knows.  There is a litany of reasons people like to go to certain locations, most of which have nothing to do with money.

But, the sleeper AC isn't working so this going to be a long trip.  It means to stay cool in the sleeper, I have to leave the curtain open to the cab.  The sleeper stays cool, it's just that there are always lights wherever I'm parking or just the idea of potentially being exposed to whosoever. No one is likely to look in there, they'd have to probably get up on the truck to see me in there anyway, just a "feeling" I guess.  I'm going to push getting it fixed when I get back. Well, I'd like to get it fixed on an already time off, such as 34 hour reset.  I'll have around 44 hours used up on this round, which still leaves quite a bit when I get back, no clue.

Today - many people didn't show up for the cookout that said they would. No biggies, but the next door neighbor came over and we sat and talked for hours.  Confirmed from his mouth that he is running for Sheriff next  in 2020 and confirmed he has a lot of rich people that are going to support him - to the point they have already pledged to pay for his campaign.  That's a pretty nice piece of security.  He's a great guy.  I've had my issues with them, but nothing too major besides the boy destroying my 4 wheeler.  I didn't bring that up, no point in ruining a fine afternoon.  A buddy of James came over too, really cool, really had a good time.

3 racks of my ribs turned out nice, 2 of them did not.  My fault, I'm learning.  First foray into doing that much meat all at once. It would be easier to do in a much larger cabinet style smoker or a barrel cooker may be better.  I dunno. But, the Sheriff liked them. He also told me the credit union he works for (2 jobs, makes big bucks as a banker) has repos and if I see something I like, he can very likely bring the price down. Short list, tho, 2 trucks, both Dodge Rams.  Nice trucks but at 29k and 24k, even if he could bring it down a few thousand, still out of my price range.  Well, the lender thinks I qualify for 40k, but screw that.  I"m really much more in love with either GMC pickups or Chevy.  Yes, same company but different truck lines.  Much prefer GMC, actually, but the Chevy Silverado is a beautiful truck.

No rush. Maybe they'll get something in that I'll like.  Whatever I end up getting, I'm stuck with it for at least 4 or 5 years.  Maybe the rest of my life.  I want something nice.  Not too nice - trucks and extras equal big bucks - but nicely appointed.  As for buying my own semi for work - I decided to wait a year from my employment date. If I'm still there, I'll ask about their lease/purchase program.  If it looks decent - maybe.  If not - buy my own with my own lending - or just not.  Right now is not the time for this, I have decided and that will go on the back burner for another 6 months.

I mean, I had a great day tho.  Just cooking and hanging out.  A bit of laundry.  Dogs given more attention by the man that showed up with his kid than they even get from me. Well, okay, not really lol.  Those dogs are lavished with love on a daily basis when I'm home and the same when I take them over to Donny and Rene.  Oh, well there was one thing tho.  I was looking through my wallet  yesterday and realized my driver's license is missing.  I went through it 3 times again this morning - maybe it will magically appear in there! lolol

I got the smoker fired up, got the ribs in there and drove to work after that.  Sure enough, it was sitting on the passenger's seat as I suspected it was.  Not totally fruitless trip - there was a pile of permits and operating authority documents in my bin in the office.  Roadside Check is just around the corner.  They want every piece of paperwork up to date in that book we carry around with us.  Most people have insurance and registration. We have that and dozens and dozens of other permits and authorities because of hazmat.  It all has to be up to date.  Authorities have already stated that paperwork is going to be one of their main focuses.  I spent an hour going through all of that stuff in my book and replacing that which was outdated. Actually, there was nothing outdated, it was going to be outdated as of the first of June.

I got all of that in order.  Got the tractor hooked up to the trailer for tomorrow and left.  Oh, well I checked the refrigerator.  I have finally figured this out. The truck will run the refrigerator...until the truck says that that battery levels are at minimum levels and anything running? won't be running anymore.  It shuts off all sources of power drains and says enough.  I don't know how long that takes.  More than 2 days, I know that but how long for sure, no idea. . I ran the truck for awhile since I was there hooking it up to a trailer, going into the office and checking out paperwork and getting paperwork for the next load.

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Memorial Day morning.  Just getting ready to head out and get to the yard.  Not really looking forward today's drive but only because I am starting late meaning I'll have to be driving late.  I mean, at least 500 miles in to make sure I can finish out the drive tomorrow and be there at  6 am Wednesday morning.  Which in turn leaves me to have to drive that day quite a bit to be able to get back on Thursday.  Oh, well anyway, I'm not much of a late driver and the prospect of driving until midnight isn't too great for me. 

Nothing of great interest left here.  Watching footage of official Memorial's day ceremonies around the nation. 

Time stops for no-one, certainly not me.  Off to trucking wonderland. 

I've been driving the same car for 10 years now.  I'm very tired of driving it, mostly because it's falling apart. If it were still in good condition - interior is what's the problem - I probably wouldn't be so tired of this particular vehicle.

My next vehicle will switch back to a pickup.  I'm looking.  Pre qualified for up to 40k, tho I have no intention of spending near that much money on any vehicle.  That could actually get me into a new truck, but everyone knows that the second you drive that vehicle off the dealer lot, it loses thousands of dollars worth of value. The only reason to buy new - is the experience of having new.  I've had that before, I don't particularly need to take a loss right off the bat.  Dealers do great jobs of cleaning out used vehicles and getting them into great condition both visually and the smell that comes into your nostrils once you open the door.

I'm looking at several that are more in the price range I want.  And making offers lol.  2 grand less on any vehicle I am making an offer on.  I'll never take their advertised offer and I always look up the blue book on any given vehicle for dealer pricing. Which, in turn, almost always comes up with a price less than what is advertised.  Buying vehicles from a dealer is not for the faint of heart unless you are willing to just go in, buy the thing at face value and be done with it.

I'm not that kind of shopper.  I spent 6 months looking for a car when I bought the one I currently have.   It's actually served me quite well with no major breakdowns.  But it's old and it doesn't look nice and I want a truck.  I kicked myself after buying that car and realizing that I am a truck person. But, I paid the thing off and have been driving it for 5 years without making any car payments.  I also have that Jeep. We are working on it.

I say we because they have used it when something of theirs breaks down.  I have far too much money dumped into it to sell it.  In fact, I'm going to get the AC fixed with is another 5 or 600 dollars, but after that, there are just minor repairs that can be stretched out over time.  Right now, the brakes are being fixed but once we got the tires off saw that the rotors are quite bad.  I knew it was metal on metal, they were that way when I got it.  I haven't really driven it that much, but once they started using it as a back up vehicle, I figured it's time to fix them.  So, I got new rotors yesterday, but James is going to install all that stuff.

James is an accomplished mechanic, I have no doubt about his ability to do a good job.  Otherwise, yes, I would do it myself.  Anyway, I'm full blown into looking for a pickup.  That does not mean I'm jumping into anything.  I want a GMC or Chevy Silverado. It must have 4 full doors and at least a 6 foot bed on it.  4WD is optional, fun to have but not a deal breaker. 4WD is pretty expensive stuff to fix when the components go out - but - that wouldn't deter me from getting one now that I have a much better income coming in.

I kind of worried about making more money and then just getting into debt that would eat all that up. But, my car has near 200k miles on it and it's really time to upgrade.  I'm looking at 2011 to 2012 models, a couple a few years older.  They are, actually, all 4 wheel drivers.  I am going through Capital One loan and it comes up with a rather large selection of vehicles that they say they will finance. I've noted that it must be around 100k miles or less for them to show any potential vehicle. It's a different animal shopping for a vehicle online.  It really saves a lot of hassle in going to endless car dealers, getting the run around, getting sat down, getting a dozen different "managers" trying to talk you into something you don't want and then, getting up and walking out.

This method weeds out all of that nonsense.  You find something you like, you email them, ask what their best price is and see if they contact you back. If they don't, who cares, shrug shoulders, move on to the next one.  I have queries in for 4 of them now.  No hurry.

I have plenty on my list of things to do today anyway. Actually going out and looking at any of these is not really in the equation. The local dealers have nothing in stock that I want. Well, they do if I wanted to buy brand new. Their used prices are way too high, I won't even try to haggle with them when they have stuff listed 3 to 5 k above what even the Kelly blue book is showing should be the highest price for a dealer, in my area.  Just a waste of time trying to get them to come down.  Even if they do, they are still at the high end of the price range for whatever vehicle. Whatever the case, I have a set amount for a monthly payment that I won't go over.  Kind of like gambling, when I go to the casino I have a set amount of money I am willing to lose and if I get to that point, I get up and leave.  Should be no different with buying a vehicle. You get a number in your mind that you think you'd be okay with paying for the next 48 months and stick to it.  And yes, trying to keep it at 48 months versus 60.  At about 3-1/2 years of paying on a vehicle, I am ready to be done with the payments.  4 years you are already getting antzy about all that money going out every month.

Okay. Well I have goals today.  I didn't know what I was going to do today, but that took care of itself. I'm going to Lowe's and getting a bug zapper and some wood for smoking tomorrow, over to Kroger's to get a couple of things of ribs and some other stuff for a feast we're having tomorrow.  Next door neighbors are coming over or we're going over there, not sure about that plus they're having friends over plus Rene and donny are coming.  I'll probably be visiting with Rene and Donny most of the time.  They're just different types of people that you have to get used to being around.

I am also going to clean off the front porch today and sweep out the entire cement area in the back.  I'ma make sure the smoker is cleaned out and I guess there's going to be 4 or 5 racks of ribs going in there. The next door neighbor just brought over a large rib rack.  It's funny to have people wanting to taste your cooking.  Ribs are easier because you can't really over cook them.  Put them in the smoker for 4 hours, pull them out, wrap them up in red paper (special wrap I ordered after being informed by what amounts to a professional smoker that putting it in that paper makes the finished product taste way better than putting it into tin foil) and let them cook for another 2 hours or more and then pull them back out for another hour or 2 of finish cooking.  Melt in your mouth, the meat just falls off the rib.

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Lucky me, I've misplaced my license.  Good thing I don't have to be to the plant until 11 on Monday morning.  I've searched everywhere except the truck, will be driving over there tomorrow morning to take a look.  The last place I can remember using it is at the dentist office.  I dunno, but if I don't find it before Monday, I'm getting my birth certificate and passport ready to go straight to the DL office and apply for a replacement.  They will issue me a temporary license - which suffices. No license at all? While pulling hazmat? Big trouble.  Now I am very glad that I didn't take the Sunday load.  The dentist office definitely gave me my creditcare card back, I don't remember either way if they gave me my license back.  That will be my first call at 8:00 am on Monday morning.  Actually I'll be at their doorstep because if they don't have it, I have limited time to run to the DL and get a replacement.

I'm straining my brain thinking - oh yes. I used it at the plant in Louisiana. Highly likely my DL is sitting in the seat at work.  Simple drive over there will confirm either way.  Yes, now that I think about it, it's probably on the passenger seat.  Forgot about that. I have to give them 3 forms of ID, none of which are in my wallet. Well, the TWIC card doesn't fit in my wallet, the other 2 do.  Ok, sigh of relief.  Glad I wrote this out, kinda made me think about it a bit more.  That plant is a port and port require all kinds of credentials.  If you don't have a TWIC card, tho, good luck getting in there.

I was near panicking on that one.  You seriously do not want to get caught driving a tractor trailer rig without your CDL. But now I remember, after walking back from the guard shack, I put all that stuff on the passenger seat and forgot about it. The Safety Council card missing in my wallet confirms it.  That card is 8 hours worth of training just to get into that specific plant. I feel I wasted my time doing that.  Many  more senior drivers don't have and won't get that card and for good reason. They will legitimately not be asked to go down there because they don't have it.

Well, anyway, got quite a bit done today.  I finally found a place that sells small logs for smoking instead of the large chips.  The large chips burn out quickly and you have to keep replacing them. Pain in the butt to say the least, causes you to have to tend to the smoker much more than one should have to.  I mean, you can't just use any logs, it has to be Hickory, or Mesquite, Pecan, Apple, whatever you want to use.  You aren't really going to use the oak wood I have outside. The smoke adds flavor to the meat, you certainly don't want to add bad flavor lol.

Ok, well everything is ready.  5 racks of ribs. That's my part in this, I'll be tending to it on and off all day. I'm definitely going to spend the hour plus going to the yard to make positive sure that the license is in there. I just can't take any chances.  I can hook the truck up to the intended trailer at least so I have less to do on Monday.

Tomorrow, James and Taylor put out a Facebook "all welcome to come" thing.  We have no idea how many people are going to show up. But, on rack is going back to the neighbors, another is going to work with Taylor and half a rack is going with me on Monday.  That's 2-1/2 racks without even starting to eat tomorrow. The rest? Well, i said, if it doesn't get eaten, I'ma put it in the freezer and I'll eat it when I get back - which I definitely will. In fact, eating leftovers from last smoking today.  Still some of that nice pork loin left, still very tasty. 

Ok, well before tomorrow morning gets here, I need to see if those logs are going to fit into the hot box on the smoker. If they don't, there is an electric chain saw here I can cut them up with. 

So my pork ribs have now been requested outside of the house.  Lol.  I don't fancy myself a famous smoker in the future, but it's cool to have your food liked by people you don't even know.  `I actually have the weekend off and then on the road for 4 days going up to northern Ohio.  That's the place where the Ethylene was leaking out of a tube, into the cabinet and made me high as a kite lolol.  It's a nice trip and a bit of a different scene than the West Virginia and other runs I have been going on pretty much non stop.  There's even more places we go that I have yet to get sent out on .  I don't question it, not at the moment anyway.  Ann has a job of trying to keep long time drivers happy.  They "could" go work elsewhere, but at their ages, that would be a very unwise move considering their tenure and accrued benefits. 

Some of them threaten it anyway.  I get it, going through that myself, but this place isn't even in the same realm as that place I quit.  There is a good, decent, nice manager at the very least.  They get the cream of the crop runs. They don't even go to the undesirable places such as Cheniere, Pasadena or El Dorado.  Many of them live on the road. Great for them, not for me.  I'll take some of the crappy runs to get home more often. My paychecks are great, maybe not as great as theirs but I'm not spending months at a time out on the road.

Again, they like that stuff, they live it. That's their choice. My manager called me earlier: would you rather go out on Sunday or Monday?  I immediately said Monday, but if you have stuff that needs to be covered, I'll do whatever needs to be done.  She sent me a run going to Ohio for Monday, I don't have to be at the plant until 11:00 am.  That's a little late, I'd rather get in there earlier considering the amount of miles I need to cover before Wednesday morning, but I'll make it work.  If I get my own truck, I'd have to do a bit more running than what I'm doing now to make it work.

You know what?  I am making more money than I ever have, excepting a 6 month stint years ago.  I mean, I don't have to make $125k to be happy. It'd be nice to do that a couple of years, at a younger age.  I'm just not what I used to be. Things are slowly - slowing down.  I guess if I started working out again on a regular basis this wouldn't really be that much of an issue. 

Anyway, I have to sit here and think what I want to do with this weekend.  We have decided that Rene and Donny are coming over for a feast on Sunday.  Rene asked if we wanted to do one and she would do all the cooking.  Sure, why not.  Well, I didn't exactly say that, I had to float that by Taylor and James, Taylor had already had her asking her about it.

Tomorrow. Do I have a to do list or do I take it easy? I'm just coming off this sickness.  I mean, just starting to feel better.  I'm not necessarily interested in getting all huffy and puffy and doing stuff but at the same time, there is plenty that needs to get done.  I'll have to decide that tomorrow. I would rather take a 4 wheeler out and spin some wheels but the thing isn't working and I haven't had time to figure it out. 

Lol I dunno.  Just going to play it out tomorrow when it gets here.  I'm thinking I would rather go see a movie, if there are any worth watching, at the theater.  I mean, at the local theater, a matinee is $6 so if I got caught up in a lame movie, walking out wouldn't be much of a loss.  Funny that I used to movies fairly regularly until I moved out here.  Whatever the case, spending money isn't on my agenda, tho buying a pickup truck has also been swirling around in my head.  One in particular has my attention, but they would have to bring the price down for me to actually buy it.

I spent 3 hours at the dentist.  We are going for all of it. The dentist said we are putting in one crown today.  Statement of fact, yes that was the original thing and then it spread to everything else on the first visit.  I said, well, let's go for as much of it as you have time for today. He looked at the info and said we could do the 2 cracked teeth and all 4 front teeth.  Yes, let's do that please.  I'm ready to get this over with, even if payments are going to last a day and a half next and half of forever.

3 hours of 4 sets of hands.  Mouth wide open.  Uppers deaded to the point there was no feeling in them for hours.  I haven't had dental work done - since my 20's actually.  I mean, I've been to the dentist but I haven't had any work done.  Just given costs for what they want to do and me thinking, I don't have that kind of money right now. I didn't have any credit then, either.

I truly hate going further into debt, but it was either get these teeth fixed or eventually have to have them pulled and implants.  So, 2 weeks into June I have an appointment to finish the 6 crowns, get fitted for the last crown and have all the rest of the work down.  "You are going to have to be prepared to be here for 3 or 4 hours again". That's fine, I said, I want to get this done.  He lines his pockets, I get the work done, capitalism at it's finest.  I could have probably found a place to get it done cheaper, but this guy knows what he's doing.  I've had enough dentists that don't know what they are doing or hand your off to apprentices/aides that have no clue and not enough oversight.  You pay full price for half assed work.  I'll just pay this time, thanks.

I'm going to have a sit down with my manager next time I'm in there.  What does it take to switch over to Owner Operator, is ti feasible in my case and can I do it whenever I want to?  Does the company have any trucks for sale, btw?  Just curious, lol.

I am going back to Cheneire tomorrow. I was given a choice of that or another undesirable place, so I took the one that has a "chance" of getting back the same day.  Unlikely, of course, but perhaps after the last fiasco and the man that runs that place raising hell over there, it might go a lot faster.  That doesn't change the attitudes of 2 particular punks kids working there, but I'm prepared to deal with that as well now.  And yes, I'm taking food this time.  Enough to carry me over a night if need be.  Just enough, but enough.

So I got a spot in a couple hours at the dentist office. Hopefully that means a couple of crowns to start with? I have no clue how long that takes nowadays, I haven't had dental work done literally in decades.  Hmm, it appears there is new technology out that you can have the new crown put in the same day.  Whether this dentist has that or not, unknown.  Will be finding out lol.

My new CareCredit account brought my credit card usage down to 30% which in turn upped my credit score.  However, and unfortunately, that particular account will be all used up by the time I am done.  I fully intend on using all the $2,000 my dental insurance gives plus that credit plus any cash necessary beyond that, get my teeth all fixed, done and over with.  I don't care if I have to make payments on it for a few years.  I'm 54 years old, this stuff isn't getting any better and my smile is wretched.  Chipped, cracked teeth on the front.  Broken teeth.  Teeth that need fillings.  And now a mild pain in one of the cracked teeth. Naww, we aren't going to just continue to let this go.

Moving on, I have looked into financing on a semi tractor.  Seems like there are quite a few lenders out there willing to finance such.  That qualifications vary as does the down payment, some requiring no down payment at all.  I'm in the "I'm thinking about it" stage.  Nothing I will take action on any time in the next few months.  I'm sort of more interested in my relationship with this company at the moment.  I'm new.  I get a notice that I made it through the month of April without any violations and congratulations! 

Well, that's cool, but I had at least 2 over speeds this month and I'm sure I'll be getting their version of a company issued citation for those coming next month.  This is why I'm not really going to invest anything, even in the company truck I am driving now, until I have further evidence, over time, that they are actually going to keep me.  The orientation was full of instances of how they can and will fire you for this and that.  That's kind of what is keeping me on the fence.  In reality, there is no perfect driver and I'm not pretending to be.  Staying out of accidents is my number one priority, if I do that, that should count for something. But in this age and era of big brother watching everything you are doing,  that isn't necessarily true. If you are engaging in "risky" behavior, they like to call it, then you are no better than a person that just rear ended a car in front of you can injured everyone inside of it. 

Next month is CVSA International Roadcheck. Level 1 inspections done on trucks randomely pulled in - wherever.  Weigh stations, roadside check stations, just pulling you off to a safe area on the side of the road.  Almost guaranteed with the places we drive through I'll get pulled over yet again. Last 2 checks have netted "NO VIOLATIONS" against me, but they weren't level 1 inspections, either.  I've had a self initiated crash course on Quaalcomm, since I haven't used one in 20 plus years and they have completely changed since then.  I didn't know about the "load" info you have to put on for each trip, it isn't right there in front of your face when you look at it.  In fact, the thing is loaded with all kinds of screens and you have to just sit there and go through each one to learn how to use it..

They will be looking at driver's ELD's (electronic logging device) and I want the thing to be completely accurate.  One of our drivers recently got dinged for 8 days worth of not having the load info in there. That was a lot of points against his record and against the company.  I don't want any points and I want to keep in as good a standing with the company as possible.  The load info is actually quite easy to input once you actually find the field where to do it at.

Well, I'm smoking some meats in the smoker today.  Figure James can tend it while I'm at the dentist.  Doesn't take much, if temp is down, add some chips, maybe throw in some more charcoal to make sure it stays consistent heat.  Other than that, somewhere around 6 or 7 pm we'll be having that wonderful pork loin roast again. If it turns out as good as it did last time, hands down excellent meal.

With that, I must be off to the shower and then off to the dentist. 

So, stuck down in Brownsville. I was anyway and don't read that wrong, for the money, being stuck down there is great.  I've got the drive down both days - tho admittedly there are times going through the Houston area you are going to fight traffic regardless and unless you want to go out of the way through small towns, just deal with it.

Uhh, yea well anyway, I was talking to an older dude - I'm 54, but he's much older than me, lol. He owns his own truck and drives for our company.  Well I knocked on his truck door and he came out quick.  Some sort of - underwear overalls?  I've never seen such garb before so I can't really explain it. Did I wake you? No, he laughed, I was watching TV. 

We were discussing the situation of a trailer coming in, he declared there wasn't going to be any showing up tonight.  I asked him if he was getting detention pay since he's an owner operator? We got into a discussion about that.  This dude clears 100k after expenses.  That's what he takes home.  Seriously?  100k.  Take home. 

I had to take that in for a moment.  So you're driving for this company and after taxes, fuel, insurance, repairs, etc, you are taking that much home every year?  I had no reason to disbelieve him. He's a very down to earth person.  65 years old, he's ready to retire soon enough. 

It gave food for thought, that's for sure.  I have always leaned away from the idea of owning a truck, but this is a bit surreal.  I mean, if someone says they are making a hundred grand per year, that's what they are grossing, not what they are netting.

But, that means having a lot of money in the bank for any problems. Repairs, mostly.  Engine repairs can cost a lot of money.  Some advise having over 20k.  I'd figure 10k enough, but that's a ways off and then, getting financed for a truck.  I don't have a bunch of cash sitting around, lol.

Lol. Well, tomorrow is smoking day. That's smoking meats.  A huge pork loin, a rack of ribs and a half brisket. It will happen, I think anyway, but I'm going to try to get into the dentist.  I called today but they were already closed - still left a message. I found the insurance info, I have the financing, please let's get some of this started if there is a spot on your schedule. 

So, whatever happens then, I"m feeling much better today. Not 100%, but the improvement in how I feel today is quite noticeable.  I mean, for some reason, I'm feeling better than I have in a long time?  Perhaps it's just being sick and getting out of it amplifies it.

Enough.  I'm not going to bed but I am going to find something to watch on the tube!

Monday morning.
Decided to get up, take a shower and head over to the yard to see if a trailer is there. I don't want to try and charge for time I'm not owed. 
I didn't think anything would be there yet and there wasn't.  There is another one of our tractors there waiting for a trailer already, so even if one does show up, he has first dibs on it. These trailers usually show up in twos.  I don't really care if I have so sit around all day and spend another night here again, but we'll see. The dude that runs the yard wasn't over there, I wanted to ask him if he had talked to any of the drivers about when they were going to show up.  Anyway, I'm going to check out of the hotel at around 11:00 am and go over there and wait. 

Or, if the guy is there I can find out, maybe, when trailers are going to show up.  Hard to determine whether to get another room when you don't know when a trailer is going to show up.  Basically sit around the yard over there until either one shows up or it starts getting late - not really late, like 5:00 pm - and then make a decision.  Not a hard decision to make tho.  I don't like night driving. I won't drive all night long to get back to our yard. 

My desire is to either have them show up before noon with trailers or not show up at all today.  Either is good for me.  I'm going on 15 hours of detention pay now, which gives me a nice tidy sum of cash for waiting and pays for the hotel room.  It makes these trips worth a lot more.  I make more per hour driving doing the math, but there is always at least 10 hours down time.  Why not get paid for it? : )

And nothing else really.  I mean, I just got some texts saying the baby is sick and so is mama.  But she has stomach illness going, I didn't have any of that so that didn't come from me. The baby, perhaps.  Bummer any way about it.  I was trying to stay away from the kids, but the 1 year old kept coming to me the other day, he wanted attention and figured I was the nearest one available.  I didn't pick him up tho, which is what is strange.  I really tried to keep my distance so they wouldn't get sick. There is another possibility is they got sick at the day care.  That happens a lot with kids interacting with each other

Nothing I can do about it. It is what it is.  Maybe next time I get sick I'll just go stay at a hotel until it passes.  It creates a lot of problem for parents trying to work and having to find a babysitter or have to stay home themselves, tho right now James isn't working so he can deal with that stuff. 

Umm, I guess I have bills I could pay online, but meh.  They aren't due until next month.  I have plenty of cash but I am always of the mindset keep as much of it around as long as possible incase something happens and you need it. 

There are things I want to buy as well, but that is also something I am putting off. Nothing I need, just a want list I've had for years now.  I've fulfilled some of the things on that list, the new bed being one of them. 

And now, I am going to start toying with apps that allegedly teach you how to invest in the stock market.  You get X amount of "fake" money but you are investing it in the real market at real market pricing.  I guess it's something like the apps I used to use for learning how to play blackjack at the casinos.  Learn with fake money, don't lose the real stuff.  Sounds like a plan to me.  Get my feet wet.  James actually turned me onto it, I had no idea they had apps for that, but duhhh, should have figured so. 

I'm going to do that later when I'm out of the hotel, sitting in the truck, bored, waiting in a dirt park lot.  Put the time to good use.  I've got 3 grand to invest, but I'm not doing anything with it until I figure out what I'm doing. 

Umm, there are other things, but it's still just long term goal stuff. That 3 grand could just sit there and grow until it's around 20 grand and then buy property or see if I can get into the rental business in a mobile home park or maybe a du or quadplex.  This small town I'm living in has several colleges, amazingly enough and at one of them, people come from all over to attend it. 

My credit score is ever so slowly going up.  It's those late mortgage payments. They are slowly falling off, 1 month at a time. They problem, I found out, is that I should have no more than 96% late payments for my score to at least go up to the good range.  I'm at 90% at the moment.  All of it is the mortgage stuff.  I'm guessing another year before it hits that percentage.  Kinda of sucks, but my fault. I shouldn't have let it go on that long, I should have found a way to get out of that mess long before I did.  So what, I guess, because I won't have a sizable down payment before a year is up anyway. And that's if I even last at this place. 

I try to weigh the pros and cons of any given place. The recent 6 unwanted days off left a sour taste in my mouth.  Some revelations about how other drivers are being treated isn't so great either.  Just smacks of favoritism.  I can see a longer term driver getting some better runs, but the days - not working weekends?  This job requires every driver to be agreeable to that.  It's in writing.  Not that that means anything and no I'm not openly complaining about it, just things that run through my mind.  The run I'm on was a Sunday load - yesterday.  Up early, at the plant early.  I had 2 days off, so it wasn't that bad, but the weekends are when everyone else is off. 

But, James did say he wants to try and fix that broken 4 wheeler.  Have at it!  I could fix it but I don' think it's worth the money.  I've been going after the neighbors to pay for the damages for it for a while. The only real alternative is to sue them.  I dunno if I'm going to do that or not.  That kid has a job, he has an expensive truck sitting in the yard, he could pay for the damages he promised to pay for like 15 times. 

Just strange that the dad is going to run for sheriff next year but has situations like this looming over him?  I'm not running to the press, but any court case is open to the public.  So, I'll just sit on that for a while and think about it.

I'm finally thinking I"m starting to get better.  I still have a cough but the cruddy feeling is starting to go away.  I can deal with that. 

Well, I'm off of here. Need to start getting ready to get out of this place.

The older I get, the worse even a common cold's effect has on me. Especially the junk that gets into my respiratory system. It just flattens me.  I can go for chunks of time, but rest is necessary at some point and nothing will replace it.  I got back here at around 10:00 am, got some stuff done and then came home, sat my happy @$$ down and haven't moved since.  Dogs in tow of course, had to go get them.

I did stop by the used car dealer lot, but they had nothing I wanted. At least not in my price range. I'm not agreeing to 30k for a 4 year old truck.  It was a nice truck, yes, but not worth that much money to me.  I told him what I want, he suggested a car, no thanks. I want a truck, I'm not buying anything else.  Well that's not totally true If my current car totally broke down and I need a replacement, I could get one for 2 grand - cash.  No car dealer needed.  In fact I have found several trucks at cash pries that could work, but they have ultra high miles on them.  Real roll of the dice buying something with over 200k miles on it.
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Well, it's Friday, didn't have to work today.  Don't know about the weekend.  I'd like another day off for recovery, just won't know until later on today what, if anything, I'll be given for the weekend or Monday.  It seems to just be a coughing cold with flu like symptoms.  So, I'm not doing anything today excepting I put a roast in the crock pot  I didn't feel like tending to the smoker today.  It's not that much work but I don't want to be outside much today.  Just sitting around in my room lazing around with the dogs.

But my roast should turn out excellent : ) I got a recipe off the internet including cream of mushroom soup,  worcestershire sauce, dry onion soup mix, etc etc.  I think it should be very good. Slow cooking all day, I'll find out later.

Some high level drama here last night, nothing that involved me fortunately, but still.  It isn't anything I want to go into on the internet since some of it is pretty personal stuff, it was quite divisive and people ended up leaving all pissed off.  I decided after having sat and listened to it for a while to disappear into my room and actually go to sleep early.

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I started this post days ago. Been too sick to do much of anything.
I got the run for today on Friday and wondered, last night, how I was going to do this.  The steroid shot sort of worked this time. The inbaler I have been using sparingly but it works when I use it, sort of.  The cough medicine I think has codeine in it and I don't want any of it.  The antibiotics, who knows.  It's only been since yesterday morning. 

I didn't sleep much last night as coughing was keeping me up.  So when 4:30 am came around, I just got myself up - was already awake anyway - got busy with the day.  Figured I would pay hell for the night's lack of sleep, but, not the first time I've driven on 3 hours of sleep.

Got to the plant with the truck and the operator was in a talkative mood, which I was not, but I entertained him anyway.  He wanted to know what my answer to school shootings were. I gave him a detailed layout of how I think it could be curtailed and then asked him his?  Give them allll guns.  Who? Everyone that comes through the school door.  Everyone has a chance to protect themselves.  He was serious, too, it wasn't a joke.  Lol, I had thoughts about that but decided not to get into it, I just was too out of it. He eventually got up and went outside to check on stuff, I went to sleep.  Unknown amount of time later, he came back in, I was startled awake, he gave me the truck key. 
After the scalehouse I was out of there.

I dreaded the drive.  But, as the hours wore on, I was amazed at how awake I was and not really even feeling that tired.  I drove 5-1/2 hours straight, pulled in to a TA truckstop to get fuel, decided to take my 30 minute break there as well. Fell into a deep sleep.  I mean, like deep sleep lol.  The alarm went off, I bolted up right and got with it.  260 more miles, I figured I could cut that no problem.  Well, it was sort of a problem, but I managed to get down here and...find...one of our trucks waiting in the yard. 

Yayyyyy!  No empty trailers! I knocked on his door.  He confirmed it. He said there ain't gonna be no trailers here tonight.  Yayy again! I'll get at least 14 hours of detention pay out of this, possibly a lot more.  That was my ticket to get out of that yard - after turning in my paperwork of course and legitimizing the beginning of the detention pay clock - and heading a mile away to the nearest hotel, an America's Best Value Inn. This one is pretty nice for the money.  It's amazing how some of these low end hotel chains are upping their game at least in some areas.  Hardwood floors, king sized bed, marble topped counters, 44 inch flat screen, huge room nicely decorated and in  great shape.  Free wife of course, mini fridge and microwave.  $57. 

That's not even 3 hours of the detention pay and I gladly took it.  I figured I could try to get a good night's sleep in here tonight versus the truck bed.  It's okay, but the mattress isn't thick enough so my bones hit the wood underneath.  Most times I have waited I'm there til noon.  That would be 17 hours of detention minus hotel pay, I'm good with that.  Even better if they don't show up at all tomorrow.  It's happened to other drivers many times, sitting there for days.  This is one of the places I like waiting, just because there is a lot to do around here, tho I have no desire to do anything, it just fits well.  You get paid, there are restaurants all around me and I don't really miss home in an environment like this.

Now, that Cheneire place, different story. No hotels, no stores, no nothing.  You are stuck in your truck.  That nonsense no thanks.  The detention pay is nice but they should at least have a store or something on site?  Vending machines? Something?  Well whatever. I'll be sent down there again, I'm sure and I'll hate it again, I'm sure.  And oh well.

Well, that's that.  I mean, that's the end of this day.  Depends on when a trailer comes, but if it's too late tomorrow I wont' make it home tomorrow night, but with enough DT I'm not concerned about that.  I'll get up around 7, cruise over there in the tractor and see if there's anything there. If not, I'll come back to the room and hang out until check out.  Usually there's someone there during the week and you can ask them when a truck is going to show up. They have phone numbers for the drivers but they can't always get through to them.

At home, James quit his job. I can't hardly blame him. He worked 15 days straight with no days off in site. The owner of the place is eccentric and - weird.  He told him he would work 3 months straight and then time off. Instead, the guy had a large number of crates full of the bolts brought in yesterday and that was when James said enough.  He won't give a day off per week, he won't give a day off - anytime.  You can't work 7 days a week forever, especially a married man with 2 young kids.  He's going to hit the job trail hard this coming week, I'm sure he'll find something.

I am sitting idle at this job for now.  I really need at least a year's experience in this field for my resume.  I wouldn't mind being shipped off to other places to learn other chemicals.  No Pennsylvania to Massachusetts runs in a blizzard tho, thanks. 

Anyways it's past 10, I'm getting sleepy, going to see about a night's sleep here. 

Trip to West Virginia.  I didn't get slowed down by construction traffic yesterday, so I made good time. Made it as far as north of Nashville and called it quits.  Got into a Love's travel center just in time, only 2 spots left, I got one of them and then another truck came in shortly after that and got the other.  I sat there and watched truck after truck after truck rolling in looking for a spot.  It's real dilemma.  It needs to be addressed. Cities and towns that don't want trucks around anywhere unless they are bringing stuff, otherwise, get the hell out of here.

That's the way I see it. I see no truck signs everywhere. No parking, no truck parking, trucks take this route, trucks aren't allowed in the city. It's a bunch of bs.  You want what we are hauling but you won't let us park somewhere to go to sleep?  And if we don't find a place before that magical 14 hours is up, we get dinged by our companies and/or if DOT catches it, we get written up and fined?  Crock of crap. I think it's Arkansas - they "voted" to not allow trucks to park on Interstate on -ramps.  I'm not sure of the state, but I think it was Arkansas.

Really?  Would you like us to come park in your front yards?  Even places we deliver to don't want us around. Meanwhile, they are trying to pass a bill to allow drivers as young as 18 to fill those seats because there is a shortage.  Oh, maybe you should fix the freaking problems that are driving drivers out of the business and you wouldn't have this issue?  What a load of shit. 

Texas is the exception. I can literally find a place to park just about anywhere.  I think.  Well maybe no going through Houston and Dallas, but the towns you drive through have places all over where you can park and cops don't mess with you.  If they have "no trucks" signs up, it's usually for a legitimate reason. 

Anyway, it started yesterday afternoon. I was not feeling right.  Starting to get a sore throat and headache.  It got worse last night and today - I"m not full blown sick but I sure don't feel good either.  No idea whether this is severe allergies or strep throat that's going around or what.  It was bad enough that I got a hotel room for the night.  I intend on going to sleep early.  What I feel like in the morning will determine what I do.  The problem is that they are always lacking trailers. They will want this one back as fast as possible - which is sometime Thursday, probably late morning.  But if I am sick, I don't care.  I'll hole up in a hotel as long as it takes to feel good enough to drive again. 

I got yet another "critical event" warning on that Quaalcomm device.  I had no idea what it was until I was finally done for the day. I'm not pulling over to find out what this stupid machine wants to tell me.  It says I had an "extreme overspeed event", meaning I let the truck get rolling too fast down a hill. Whooopdeedoo.  I will get another warning from the company.  This part of the company I'm not comfortable with. Little dictators called "The Safety Team".  I spent more time in orientation hearing about how you can get fired than anything about how happy they are you are there.  I don't need that and other devices on the truck to tell me how to drive.  I have done quite well in my driving since 1985 and I don't expect to change any of that.  I'm not going to bow down in fear to these people, either.  If  it comes to that, we will be parting ways.  A bunch of desk jockeys that have no clue, whatsoever, what it's like to drive a truck and do the work involved with driving it 14 hours a day.  Okay, I stopped at 13 hours and 30 minutes today. Whatever.  Yesterday I left myself a 30 minute window in case my parking plans failed.

You have to do that now. You can't just pick a truck stop in advance and "know" that it's going to have spaces. You have to leave yourself a window so you have time to find somewhere else.  I could have driven another 75 miles today, but the only truck stop or place to park along the route I have to take has very few parking spots.  The truck app says it's full all the time. I went in there this morning to use the bathroom and check it out.  Very small place, not room for more than maybe 10 trucks at most.  Besides, I wasn't feeling good and I got in 565 miles today. Not the greatest but acceptable.  It's where I would normally stop on the other trips. 

:Lol, Taylor warned me earlier: don't you dare come home sick!  No worries. If I am, I'll isolate myself away from the boys and everyone else in my bedroom. My dogs will be happy to be with me : )  I am very good at disappearing when not feeling well. I don't want to talk to anyone, just leave me alone, thanks, no I don't need anything, I just need to lay here and live through this misery until it's over.  Been that way all my life, not likely to change anytime soon lol.

Car dealer said no problem getting me financed. Not sold on it yet, but was looking into it.  Depends on the interest rate, the price of the truck - I'm not going to get into financing on a car, thanks and any other "special" things they want to add to the price.  No new vehicles, either.  And it has to be in good condition. I don't want any blemishes on the outside, no dents no dings, no major scratches.  The interior has to be in excellent condition.  That's it.  These dealers will always try to sell you something you don't want and I am very good at getting up and walking out of such places.  I have two vehicles, I'm not hurting for a ride.  My Jeep needs the AC fixed, but James is using it until he gets his car fixed. And his motorcycle went down. The car doesn't need much tho.  He just doesn't have any time to do anything. 

Working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week will do that. 

I'm exhausted but too early to go to bed.  Some decent movies on, think I'll kick back and relax. 

Getting run pretty hard here.  On my way back from this trip today, I was given a run to the place I have been to in West Virginia 3 times now?  It's a good run.  A bit over 2,000 miles. No detention pay unless the plant screws up. I'd rather the plant get their stuff right and get detention pay at the other end. The plant makes you wait in very uncomfortable chairs in a 40 foot modified container (like they use for shipping).  It gets very boring. You aren't allowed in your truck, you can get in there if you need something, but really, it's no fun. 

Anyway, that's Monday - early. The first load type of thing, you know, the one I hate?  Yeah, that one.  I was able to at least hook up to the trailer I'm taking and get my paperwork ready so I don't have to be doing that at 4:00 am.  Which means an extra 20 minutes to sleep lol.  The first day of any of these trips on the first load is misery for me.  I just pay for it all day long. There is nothing I can do about it. I would have to go to bed at 7 pm, I can't do that.  Well, I can but I'd wake up at midnight and never get back to sleep. 

As long as I'm working here and getting up this early, that will likely never change.  I don't consider this a permanent job.  Whether that changes in my mind over time, I dunno, but at the moment, it's something like a 2 year gig - providing I don't screw up badly - and move on to something in the loca work realm, which is, of course, gasoline or diesel fuel.  Screwing up badly would be something like rolling the tanker over, pumping the Ethylene into a tank that doesn't have Ethylene in it, stuff like that. Pretty much impossible to pump it into the wrong place, everywhere I go, the plant operates the plant side, I don't have to deal with that. If they pump Ethylene into the wrong tank, that's on them.  I ask anyway, tho, just to cover my @$$. 

I've gotten very much more confident with operating the truck side of the equation. Much more than even the last time I said this on here. I've been through a bit already with this job, even tenured drivers look at me funny with the stories I already have to tell. What gives me confidence is finally understanding what I am doing.  With zero training on unloading trucks - which is appalling - I've come a long way. It's really consumed my thinking in the last - months, many  months.  C'mon. Anyone reading this for a while understands the nature of this chemical.  You don't just haphazardly do - anything - with it.  The first leak in Massachusetts - which was LNG - was terrifying.  I didn't show it tho, lol.  You aren't going to solve a problem by freaking out, jumping up and down and running for your life.

Likely you don't keep your job and more likely, you could have sat there and figured it out eventually.  The thing I have always kept in mind: whatever happens, stay calm.  Don't panic. Be afraid? Sure, but don't let it paralyze you.  I've been afraid. I'll freely admit that. LNG pouring on my head and down my arms? Yeah, that scared the s*** out of me to be honest.  259 degree boiling point?  Explosive? Volatile?  Highly flammable? Wouldn't that freak you out a bit too?  I had all kinds of garb on, I never felt it on my skin, it never got that far. 

Anyway, I'm home now.  I have tomorrow off  I have plans, just chores and things to get ready for a road trip.  Unfortunately it's not a week day. I love weekends but I need to get my dental work done. That ain't happening tomorrow.  I'll be home - if it goes as normal of course - early on Thursday.  I can't call them and make an appointment tho. Not until Thursday. I'll ask them if they have an opening.

Tomorrow Mother's day. Flowers sent and then found out she isn't home. So they are sitting in front of her door, probably wilting in the heat : (  She'll be home tomorrow but I have low hopes that they will survive AZ heat.  Well I don't know, it's not as hot there as I thought it was.  Maybe they'll be okay? 

My son.  I'm not necessarily in the dark with him, I just don't hear from him often. Precious moments when he does call.  Almost as good if he replies to an email.  I know his life doesn't revolve around me, don't expect it to, just nice to hear from him whenever he does call. 

I'm planning a trip to Phoenix. No date, just in my mind. Something that I need to do. See mom, see Caleb and his wife, visit friends, check out the house.  Really a cheap trip, even if I fly out of the local airport 2 towns over.  The flight will be the most expensive thing, Uber the next, eating after that, housing will be provided. I could afford to go tomorrow. In fact, I could fly over the ocean, a thing I have always wanted to do, tomorrow as well.  Visiting family and friends takes precedence.  I think it will be a marathon trip - out 3 or 4 days and get back home and get back on the road. 

Funny having money and not being able to use it the way you want to.  I knew that would happen with this job.  I'm not complaining.  I'm not broke anymore and that's a very nice thing.  I can afford all my bills, have almost 20% in various savings ccount;  medical, dental and vision insurance and still have money left over? That never occurred at Ferguson.  Well, it did in Phoenix. Not to this degree but I wasn't perpetually broke there.  Leaving that company was a no looking back deal. I pretty much burned my bridges there.  I didn't go off like cussing and telling people where to stick it, but I very candidly stated my views on an abusive manager and his management not giving a s*** about it.

I'm kinda thinking next month to Phoenix, but June is historically the hottest month there.  Guess that shouldn't matter that much. Everyone has AC and one of my best friends has a pool he has invited me to come partake of. 

Life is interesting right now.  Not necessarily stimulating, but interesting. 

Hmm. Think I'll watch a movie. 

Okay, so i was sent up to Barnsdall today.  It's in Oklahoma, on Indian Reservation I believe. Or surrounded by it, or something like that.  All I know is they actually have an ATT cell tower out here in the middle of nowhere, so I have 4 full bars of service! Woohoo.  Good thing too, because I changed my plan today in coming up here. Instead of going to Bartlesville nad parking next to the bowling alley and eating at the Mexican Food restaurant, I drove straight up to the plant.  They are no allowing us to drop the trailer at the unloading rack. Unhook the tractor and go sit out in the parking lot until morning.  Considering it's 12-1/2 hours from now until 8 am - which is the appointed unload time, not so much fun.

But the problem here, well there's a couple of things.  First, if I don't get up here as early as possible, someone else might and probably will come up here, drop their trailer and then, when I show up at 8 am to unload, their trailer is already being unloaded.  So, even tho I am supposed to be the first to get unloaded, they just do the trailer that is sitting there first.  They don't care about who is who in line and the other drivers don't care either.

Now, that gives me some detention pay, yes, but not enough to make it worth sitting up in this place all day long. I'd rather get the run over with and get back to Texas.  I only really find 10 hours minimum of detention pay worth the waiting, if it's any less than that, well, I'd rather not.

The other drawback is since I'm waiting, I don't get to go home.  This is Friday, the weekend has basically started for most people.  If that trailer is sitting there, I have been told they will start unloading it as early as 6am since it's sitting there. They'll come wake me up, but they will have that thing hooked up and draining.  They've changed their method up here, they now reuse the vapors that they used to just flare off.  It takes much  longer for their system to absorb those vapors versus what used to be simply turning on the flare, burning it off and sending us on our merry way. The only way to get out of here at a decent hour, now, is to get up here the day before, drop the trailer and wait in the parking lot.

Fortunately there is a convenience store directly across the street and a restaurant next to it.  If I get hungry or need anything, it's just a stroll across the street. But I brought food up here. I might have breakfast over there in the morning, but otherwise I'm good.  Anyway, I fully expect another one of our drivers to show up tonight sometime or a driver from another company that comes up here to show up, go in, drop their trailer and come out and wait.  I beat them, I have my trailer in the number one slot, so, I will sleep better lol.  I was just sent my next load after this one: West Virginia on Monday. Everything going well, that's a 4 day trip and coming back on Thursday, that means that trip will go on the next coming paycheck.

Next paycheck? I am expecting at least 5k.  I'll have amassed at least 40 hours of detention pay and probably more like 50, a whole lot of stop pays and a whole lot of miles.

The Everlasting Ethylene Run

Should have been a one day trip. Overnight and home in the morning at most. 

Instead, I get to the plant on Tuesday at 1:30 pm.  When I pulled up to the Ethylene rack, there were fully 4 trucks in line ahead of me.  I mean, I've never even seen that there.  Maybe a truck or two, but 4?  I'm thinking, how many hours am I going to have to wait here? My appointment was at 2:30, we have to show up an hour early, which I did.  I just sat there and shook my head, gonna be a long afternoon.

I got in the sleeper and went to bed.  Fell into a deep sleep.  Woke up a couple hours later, now another truck had shown up and ahead of me.  My truck loads coming in from the opposite side than those trucks, which were all ISO tanks.  They filled them all up and then Lance comes up to my truck. Uhh, Ben?  We're out of Ethylne.  LOLOLOL

Okaaaaaaaaaaayyy.  I didn't get out of there until 9:00 pm.  After that, I decided i was too tired to drive too far, so I got a hundred miles in and then pulled over for the night.  Drove the rest out the next morning, got to the plant near Port Arthur. I was directed to the waiting lot, where I waited and waited and waited. 5 hours, actually.  I got tired of it, drove up to the guard shack where they gave me a look. They didn't come to get you? No. She made a phone call. Well, the plant operator forgot to tell the crew to come get you, but they can come now.  Okay.

A process to get the truck turned around, got back to the parking lot and waited 2 more hours.  Enough. I texted my manager and then went back up to the front.  She called me back, explaining that the plant operator had gone home - a shift change - and hadn't passed on the info to the next shift.  Same operator twice? We're on the level of incompetence.  Well, when I got up to the guard shack my manager called and said I have 2 options (but I really need the trailer back here): get up at 4:00 am and get it filled up or go in at 7:00 am.  She wants the trailer back, I opted for 4:00 AM.  The guard apparently thought I didn't know what was going on and tried to feed me a story. Instead of getting snappy with her, I just replied, yes, the plant operator went home and now they are pumping pressure into Train 1 to fill up the ships. 

She looks at me funny and nods, yeah.  Wouldn't have known any of that if it weren't for my manager.  I am assuming heads were rolling after she had called some senior manager who made his own phone calls and apparently let people know how things should be, versus how things occurred.  I like the detention time - 30 hours worth on this trip - but I had to cancel my all important dental appointment and that didn't set well with me. in fact, this trip spread out over 3 days which is ridiculous.   There aren't any stores down there, there is nothing but that plant.  It's positioned right next to the Gulf.  It has spots for 2 giant ships.  No one has built anything for a store within 10 miles of there.  There is no cafeteria on site, if you don't have food and drinks with you? You're screwed. I had food, so no biggies. 

The only good part about this besides extensive detention pay was that that "normal" crew I have to deal with, which includes 2 very arrogant and loud mouthed kids - weren't there.  A very quiet and reserved manager and his crew.  I was left to do all the work - which was fine with me.  I had the thing set up and got the pressure up quickly.  In fact, I had to shut the pressure building down for a while, it got up at the threshold.  This is an old trailer and I was surprised at how well the pressure coils were working. I got it to the right position for the liquid on the valve - about a 3rd of a turn - and that was it. Just wait until the thing emptied, pull out the excess pressure, leave. 

Drove back to the yard.  That plant asked if "that driver" could load up and come back down again?  No, she said, he won't have enough hours.  14 hours for today, to clarify, I have plenty of 8/70 hours.  She argued with them. Sure, he could load the truck but he won't be able to drive back down there, he won't have enough hours.  She got it settled with 10 am tomorrow with another driver pulling that trailer down there.  I don't want to go back down to the freaking place.  They can keep it. I didn't make that demand to my manager, but she can definitely spread that joy around. 

It's over. I was informed that I might have to go out again tomorrow. I said fine. If not, I replied, I'll try to get back in  with the dentist, but if you have a load that needs covered I'l take it. 

So far, nothing. But it's still early.  This trip really wore me out, I'd just as soon have tomorrow off but I won't ask for it.

I dunno, but life around here has definitely taken a twist.  Rene broke her ankle yesterday, so now the kids are going to a daycare.  I'm coming home to no one here. Okay, it's totally fine with me, lol.  Peace and quiet for a while. 

Ugh. I think I'm going to take a nap. Must be that old age thing. 

As much as I didn't want to go into any further debt, the teeth situation is getting a pass.  2 cracked teeth, another missing a cap, 2 fillings needed.  Those are the problem teeth and then beyond that are my front teeth which are cracked and my smile is hardly anything worth looking at.  The problem stuff will be dealt with first, which will add nothing to my smile, just make it so I won't be experiencing painful teeth problems further down the line. 

The dentist said my bite comes straight down over the bottom row of teeth, creating pressure on the teeth, which is what is causing the problems.  He will put crowns on my front 4 upper teeth and claims that he will fix the pressure problem with it.  I'm not sure about that, I don't have any kind of over bite at all and it might feel strange to have that going on in there, but something needs to be done.

Meanwhile, I get to go back to Cheneire much later on today.  That's sarcasm.  I don't want to go, but that's the way the chips fall.  It is, however, 2 short runs in a row, I fully expect a longer run after this one.   I will be getting out of there late, so I'm hopeful they won't mind me parking in their parking lot again. It's outside of the secured portion of the facility and they didn't care last time. 

The whole scenario around here has changed with both James and Taylor working. James is working 7 days a week, 12 hours a day.  I'm not really sure that's any better than what I'm doing.  In fact, I'm sure it's not.  No free time to speak of.  Work all day, come home, eat, deal with the kids, go to bed.  I'm not sure how a company expects it's workers to never get any time off..  That's just a recipe for burnout.  Sure, they need the money, but that is a bit much IMO.  Anyway, Rene is watching the boys during the daytime and making some moolah while she's at it.  I at least get a mandatory 34 hour reset if nothing else, which guarantees at least one full day off, usually 2. 

Well, I think I'ma put buying a vehicle off for a bit longer now.  I need to see what the payments are going to be on the dental loan before I get into $300 plus per month for a vehicle plus having to put full coverage insurance on it, something I don't have at the moment.  Driving an old car, it's not worth putting full coverage on it, especially considering I have a backup vehicle.  It's old too, but it runs fine.  Just doesn't have AC and I think I"m going to get that fixed soon. 

I have not, however, put off the idea of investing.  I have that money my mom gave me and I expect to be doing something about that soon enough. I'm just still undecided how to go about it. 

Well, I think I"m going to go back to sleep for a while. They woke me up early with vehicles firing up to go off to work. I have a late night coming up and I don't want to be falling asleep trying to unload the truck.

Monday evening.
I knew I wasn't going  to be sent anywhere today, my 34 hour rest didn't finish until somewhere about an hour ago - around 9:00 pm.  My manager is back, she called today. When is your reset over? It's kinda strange that she asks me that because she can see when I went off duty and how long it will take for the rest to complete.  Anyway, she wanted me to take the first run.  I bluntly stated to her again, please, that 3 am stuff kills me.  Well, the only other option is the 2:30 load.  Fine, I thought. It's going to be a late night tomorrow, but late nights don't kill me near as bad as these 3 am rises. 

I can't say either of them are good, but the worst is definitely getting up what amounts to me as the middle of the night. I never sleep good on those nights and I end up fighting to stay awake all day long, my head aches, it just sucks.  So it's the late load for me.  Probably get out of there around 5:00 pm, get to the plant around 9:00 pm, take anywhere from 2 to 5 hours to unload, then drive to a truckstop and sleep.  I'm at the bottom of the totem pole. I get the s***.  Early loads, some crappy runs, weekend work.  The longer I'm around there, the more I hear about who is doing what. 

Anyway, if those two kids start trouble with me again tomorrow night, I'm going to have my manager file a complaint with their plant.  That's all I need say about it at this point.

I started today getting up, getting the smoker fired up and putting in a large pork loin roast and a half a beef brisket in it.  Then I ran around town on errands - drop cash in the bank, internet service provider to set up auto deduct, hair cut, Kroger's, Applebee's. Almost went to the car dealership.  Instead, I went to the auto shop, got the oil changed and the fan belt replaced.  Yes, lots of pickups at this local dealership, almost guaranteed they would finance me, but I opted out of it. Fighting the urge. This car is sooo old and in such bad condition on the interior, I'm tired of driving it. It's got near 200,000 miles on it, definitely not worth dumping that much money into it to fix all of it. 

I will cross that bridge soon enough, but the biggest deterrent today was the fact that I was going to the dentist office to get a cracked tooth looked at.  I figured when the dentist came up with a plan, I would be told 8 thousand dollars and I wasn't wrong.  I need a lot of crowns, a couple of fillings and some bonding work done.  I knew about all the teeth except one.  He looked at a tooth I thought was okay and said it has 4 cracks in it, the same thing is going to happen to that tooth as is going to happen to the other one - a portion of it is going to come off. 

I wasn't shocked or dismayed. I knew what the verdict was going to be.  I figured before I went in there - this is going to be a process, but I'm going to get this rolling now. I'm not going to wait any long and I will shell out the bucks to get this stuff done.  I have 4 chipped teeth front uppers.  1 tooth where the cap came off, the tooth above it has come out enough to compensate for the tooth below that is shorter.  2 cracked teeth, 2 molars that need fillings. 

Well, I paid the bill to have the x-rays done and went home, got on the computer,  applied for CareCredit, got approved for almost the entire bill.  My teeth look bad, and some of it is going to get bad - pain - if I just let it go.  I knew all of this years ago, I just haven't had the money to deal with it. 

Anyway, I have an appointment to get the cracked one dealt with on Wednesday.  I will be making appointments for the rest of it as time permits. 

Well I have more but I'm seriously tired. Time for bed. G'day. 

I'm losing track of days.  It's Saturday, yes that's what it is.  I got back to the yard from Houston only to get a text from the interim manager.  Don't leave the yard yet!  A total guess, but immediately I knew I was going to be asked to take a trailer to the plant and preload it for someone.  I hadn't even told her I was in the yard, she obviously was monitoring me from the Quaalcom/GPS.  I had just gone off duty, actually.

Sure enough.  There is an ISO tank in the yard I need to you take to Eastman and load it for another driver.  I didn't have to look, "there is no ISO tank in the yard".  Are you sure? Positive.  Ohhh, she says, let me contact Dusty.  I told him to take the trailer to National but then I told him to just bring it back to the yard.  And yes, Dusty had gone taken the trailer to National and left it there.  She went on and on and on about how he hadn't done what she told him to do. At the end of it, I became convinced that she was just attempting to cover up her mistake.  I didn't say that to her, but what was the point in going on for several minutes like that? I certainly didn't need to hear it.

So, instead of going home after a 4 day trip and my mind and heart all set on it, I dragged my sorry @$$ back to the truck, went back on duty (had plenty of hours left, the trip from south of Little Rock back to the yard was less than 4 hours), found this ISO trailer at the repair shop (if you don't know what an ISO trailer is, simply Google ISO trailer on images, it will come up with a pic of one) , spent several minutes trying  to hook up to it. I had never hooked up to one and it was different because the front of the trailer is out of view of your mirrors.  You have to be in alignment when backing in for the kingpin on the trailer to match up to the opening on the front of the 5th wheel. I kept having to get out - like 5 times, before I finally got it right and got hooked up to it.  A bit embarrassing if only to myself because I normally can hook up to a trailer, plug in the air line and get the landing gear cranked up in a couple of minutes. I figured the guys/gals that haul these trailers have a trick for hooking up to them, I also figured I am not going to be hauling ISO trailer so why bother finding out.

Off to the plant, which is only a mile away from the repair facility.  They got to loading the trailer right away, so I thought I would be there maybe an hour and a half, a little more.  Not so fast, Benny Boy.  I got to the scale house and waited and waited and waited - well over an hour. Watching the clock tick away. My afternoon melting away into the sunset.  Why such a big deal? Because Sheila had also texted me a run for tomorrow (which is now today) - the early load.  Have to be on the scale at 5 am.  I absolutely hate the first load, I have to get up at 3 am to get everything done and get to the plant on time.  I don't do 3 am. Well I do with this company.  I hadn't had to do one in a while, it sucked as bad as I thought it would when I walked out of the house this morning, dogs in tow, took them over to the other house,  drove the 35 miles to the yard, got in the truck and, gag, I felt really bad. 

Anyway, it was an almost 2 hour wait at the scale house for the certification to come through.  I mean, I finally got up and asked how much longer it was going to take.  I don't normally do that, but my gosh, I was facing going home and basically going to bed if it was going to take much longer.  Not quite that bad, but it felt like it to me.  I was dismayed at the wait and eating up my personal time. Remember, I had just gotten back from a 4 day trip.  Well, I finally got to the other house. got my beautiful doggies, took them home and had a great time bantering back and forth with everyone. 

It then came up that James had found a job!  He went into a machine shop, had an interview and the didn't let him go home, he started right then and there!  Oh but life is going to suck for him at that place for a while.  They have a backlog going and they are working him 12 hours a day, 7 days a week.  He was cranky when he came home that day. It's only going to get worse. But, that's 44 hours per week of overtime, they will get caught up in no time.  I am wanting them to take at least one of the house utility or entertainment payments over once they do get in a better financial place because I'm paying quite a lot.  I'm around $550 a mouth.  Well maybe that's not that much, but I have all the utilities, the satellite and the internet coming direct pay out of my bank account.  I do a lot around there when I am there.  Cleaning, mowing, sweeping, etc etc. Plus the upgrades I have done to that place.

Don't take that as complaining, tho, I'm just thinking out loud it would be nice to drop about $100 per month on those payments to equalize everything out a bit.  But they're good people and now close friends and I really have desire to change my living arrangements any time soon. Grow old and die with people that care about me and me them.  That would be ideal. Whether that happens or not? No clue, not even counting on it. Life sucks at times, fastballs are thrown at you, never know what's going to happen. 

Ok, so this morning.  I get up at 3 am.  The new routine.  Shower, get dressed, make the bed - that's not new but it costs time - but, the dogs are versed in this now.  They automatically know what's going to happen. When I open the bedroom door, they aren't heading for the back door to go pee, they head for the front door because they know they are going to the other house.  This is a good thing.  Dogs like routine, I think.  I'm praying this to be a one day thing, get down there, get the truck unloaded, get back up to the yard before the clock runs out.  I was surprised when I got over there ot see Rene up and at-em.  It was 3:30 am.  What are you doing up?  She is watching the boys now during the day. She says she needs to get up that early to get prepared  So even when she isn't going over there to watch the boys, she is still getting up that early. Whatever suits her fancy.  At 3:30 am, I am in bed, sleeping or attempting to sleep.  Unless work lol.

Off to work, had already hooked the truck up to the trailer yesterday, to the plant.  Got in and out of there in 2 hours, pretty reasonable for that place. A bit over 4 hours to the plant and then?  Yea.  Clusterfreak. I was there an hour and a half before we finally got to hooking up the trailer.  I'm getting good at it.  At the places where I am responsible for the truck end of unloading - of which this one is - I can get that thing hooked up and get the pressure up in no time on most trailers.  So ti was. but I knew I was screwed for getting home for the amount of time I sat there, after checking in, waiting for them to come out and get this going.  Still, I felt good about my performance, I had that thing up and cranking quickly.  Strive for excellence. In the totally unknown world of cryogenics, might take a while to get there, but yes, that's what I'm striving for. 

We got that Ethylene dumped out of there quickly, and hour and 15 minutes, then pumped the pressure out of it, well some of it, we are never totally without pressure.  I looked at the clock.  Awe. I'm not going to make it back today.  Drove around the back of this place through a veritable maze, back on the scale. This dude running the plane, I had to go back into the control room says: "That's the fasted unload I have ever seen". I figured he was fooling around with me.  No, seriously, that is by far the fastest I have ever seen here.  I uhh, thought about that for a moment. Okay, thank you, I'll take that as a compliment!

I got out of there and on the road and fatigue set in quickly. Serious fatigue, like, I should pull over to the side of the road and rest for a few minutes.  But, I came up with a plan.  Well I had 2 plans. Either make it to Lufkin where i would totally run out of hours or stop at Livingston where there is a truck stop and a hotel right next to it.  A hotel. Like a dream come true.  I made it to the truckstop in Livingston and said enough.  It was almost 13 hours on duty anyway.  Only had another hour's worth, what's the point? It'll take 2 hours to get to the yard in the morning, I'll feel much better.  I truly feel. I mean, I was totally dragging when I pulled into the truck stop, parked the truck, left it idling tho, went to get a room, went to the BBQ joint and got some fine, smoked meats, got into the room and collapsed on the bed.  Its just an old motel.  It's nothing fancy, they attempted to upgrade this room  but failed lol, still not that bad. It doesn't smell and the carpet looks new even tho some person dumped what appears to be a vile of ink on the carpet.  The bathroom much better than expected, updated and no mold/miildew.  The Dish Network works, it has a fridge and a mircowave, the bed is comfortable, the AC works, I'm good.  I'm literally laying in bed typing this, I'm just out of it.  But, the sun is still up, it's much too early to go to sleep. 

Oh, "the other guy" living there also scored a job.  But, it's with Halliburton and rest assured, they work your butt off.  He hasn't had a job in a couple of years I think.  He's been just hanging out and not really doing much.  I dunno about that job starting back to work after that much time off. 

I'm really, really tired.  I hate feeling like this.  I'm going to sleep as soon as it gets dark. I don't care what time I get up, either.  I could get home early if I want. But what's the rush? If I sleep well here, I'm staying here until 7 or 8.  I've only got 7 hours left on my 70 hours so I have to have a 34 hour reset.  I can't go back to work until Monday.  I'll take a run if she asks me to Monday morning.  I would rather have a couple days off and then go back to work, but after she had me sitting for 6 days, better off taking whatever she has when she has it. 

That catches me up on my life as it goes.  Thoughts of property fill my mind.  50 acres at least, 100 better.  My credit is starting to rise.  I see how it's working. As each month of the late payments on the mortgage fall off their horizon from however long ago, a couple years now?  it comes up slightly. They say it should be at 97% on time payments for good credit. I'm up to 90% now. 

My son has contacted me in quite a while.  We were going to do emails to make it more convenient to talk, so that started. I sent him the last 2 emails - quite a while back now - with no response.  I"m giving up on it.  Let him go.  When he decides he wants to communicate with his parents, he will. I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't call my parents at least once a month and when email came out, much more frequent communication.  I can't hold it against him. I just figure it's a time of life.  He got married, he's got a full time job, he's studying at the college and he's got a wife.  I figure a person could squeeze out an email at the very least once a month, but that's me and obviously not him.  I spent my free time raising my son, giving to him whatever I had to impart.  Just makes me sad. 

It's also the reason I am living several states away and with people that show me love on an unconditional basis and love me as family. 

______________________

Okay, this is the same night - fixing to go to bed - but something amazing.  This post hasn't been published so even more amazing to me.  My son just called me!  Amazing, cool, nice conversation.  Anyway, just a bit odd that I was speaking about this here and while writing it he calls?  Really wonderful to connect iwth him tho.  Very nice.  And with that, I'm off to sleep land.